Values are the principles and beliefs by which we live our lives and make our decisions. If you want to effectively lead yourself and lead others then you need to be aware of what those values are.

Our values are also linked to how we feel. Think for a moment: are you feeling unhappy, distressed or dissatisfied about something?

If you are, then there is a good chance that your reality is not living up to your expectations. Economists and researchers Rakesh Sarin and Manel Baucells worked out the fundamental equation of happiness was: Happiness = Reality – Expectations.

“Happiness equals reality minus expectations”

Rakesh Sarin and Manel Baucells

For example, it might be that you are unhappy about your:

• Career
• Relationships
• Habits
• Finances
• Work-life balance
• Health and fitness
• Life purpose and direction

The actual reason why you are unhappy

The usual reaction at this stage is to set a goal and achieve something that we think will make us feel happy. But, this often does not solve the underlying issue as unhappiness, and our expectations about being content, are actually rooted in our values. Our dissatisfaction is often caused by a misalignment between your core values and what is happening in your life and work at the moment.

Therefore, even if you did set and achieve a goal without understanding this, you may well find you end up unhappy again. If you do not make a decision in the context of your key principles then it is likely you will make the wrong decision or not really solve the deeper cause of your unhappiness.

By understanding your values you are in a good place to make a change for the better. That is the reason for starting with asking the question ‘why?’ Why do we want something? Why do we feel that way? Why do we want to change? These are the questions that will help us understand our motivations and pick the right goals.

Understanding your own values or principles is therefore vital in order to be effective and happy. And that is not just me saying that. Ray Dalio shares his precepts in his book ‘Principles‘ and urges others to discover theirs. Brene Brown evidences the importance of values in ‘Dare to Lead‘ and Steven R Covey argues for a model on leadership based on being Principle-Centred.

What are values or principles in life?

Value denotes a degree of importance. In monetary terms, we set a value on something by how much we are willing to pay for a product or service.

In moral terms, a value is an ideal that we give a high degree of importance. Values are the moral code that guides us, and the priorities that motivate us. They are the principles we uphold, the ethics and tenants that we believe in and ascribe to. These ideas are our standards that set our rules of conduct and standard of behaviour.

If you do not know what your values are then it is very likely that you are living your life – whether you know it or not – according to other people’s principles or priorities.

“Just as your car runs more smoothly and requires less energy to go faster and farther when the wheels are in perfect alignment, you perform better when your thoughts, feelings, emotions, goals, and values are in balance.”

Brian Tracy

How do we express our principles?

There are values we hold personally and those we share corporately, be that with a team, community or organisation. They are often similar but expressed in subtly different ways. For example, common personal values might be expressed as kindness but a team might talk about respect for others. A person may value honesty whereas an organisation might express that as transparency.

David Brooks has formulated another way of looking at values, and that is resume values versus eulogy values. The differences are explored in his book “The Road to Character” and outlined in his TED Talk, “Should you live for your resume or your eulogy?”

 

How do you assess your personal core values?

You can do an assessment of your values by examining different aspects of your life and looking for trends.  You may have a feel for the values you most relate to, but thinking about values through these different lenses will help you see which principles you really do embody or aspire towards.

In my experience, it is good to start with examining our:

• Personal Stories
• Priorities
• Passions and
• Principles

Personal Stories 

The amount of our character that is fixed at birth or developed by external influence has been a hotly contested subject for many years. We will not go into the ‘nature versus nurture’ arguments here, but it is relatively safe to say that our character is formed from a mixture of both innate qualities and our experiences.

There are various personality tests that you can do but one of the most instructive ways you can examine your character is by looking at the stories of your life.

Try to think about:

• When have you been most happy?
• Which achievement or experience are you most proud of?
• What has been your biggest success?
• What has been your biggest failure?
• When have you been most afraid and what do you fear most?
• Which thing in your past are you most ashamed of?

When reflecting on a personal story you can analyse it in this way:

• What was the situation?
• Which role did you have to play and what did you do?
• What was the result and what did you learn?

Certain themes and principles should emerge as you do this analysis.

Priorities

One simple and effective way to examine our priorities is to see where we use our resources. We invest our time and money in what we value.

Money

Where does your cash go? Money provides a very tangible expression of what we prioritise. Have a look at your bank account and credit card bills. Even how much you spend on essentials and where you shop can be telling. Food, clothing, and shelter are essential but buying luxury options are not. What do you choose to spend more or less on?

Do some analysis and ask:

• How do you budget or divide up what you spend?
• How much do you spend on different things? (E.g. debts, savings, utilities, rent/mortgage, holidays/travel, clothes, leisure activities etc.)

 

Time

Time is a truly finite resource. How you spend your time will give you a good indication of what you really value. Take a look at your diary or think back and answer the following:

• What amount of time goes to various activities each day and each week? (Working, sleeping, eating, leisure activities etc.)
• Within your work time, how does it break down? (Emails, speaking to people/phone calls, meetings, writing, planning, business development, people development, etc.)
• Which roles do you play in life and how do you prioritise them? (Employee, leader, spouse, parent, friend, child, creator, team member, other?)
• What habits or routines do you have?

 

Passions

Our passions are the things that drive us emotionally. Our passions either draw us towards or away from something or someone. Often we don’t analyse these thoughts and they can go unnoticed but if you reflect on your thoughts and dreams, beliefs and influences then you will gain a deeper understanding of your passions.

Thoughts and Dreams

What we spend our time thinking, dreaming or worrying about can also tell us a lot. Think about:

• What are you hoping to achieve in life?
• When you daydream what is it about?
• If time and money were not limited what would you do?
• Imagine that you have one wish that would immediately be fulfilled, what would it be?
• What are you anxious or stressed about right now?

 

Beliefs

What are your theological, metaphysical, philosophical and political beliefs? Ask yourself:

• What are the values of the politicians or political parties you vote for?
• Where do you put your trust for the future?
• When something goes wrong, what or who do you turn to for answers and support?
• What makes you joyful?
• What makes you angry?

 

Influences

There are many external influences on our lives and predominantly these are people we know or respect. Think about the following:

• Who do you follow?
• Who do you want to be like?
• Which are your favourite biographies?
• What are the books and stories you like most?
• Which films do you like most and why?
• What are the principles of your family and friends?

 

Principles

Having thought through your personal stories, how you spend your time and money, your dreams, your beliefs and your influences, you should be a much better place to assess what your values really are.

What trends do you see appearing and which words help to sum those up?

 

“Principles are fundamental truths that serve as the foundations for behavior that gets you what you want out of life. They can be applied again and again in similar situations to help you achieve your goals.”

Ray Dalio

What are examples of values or principles?

The list of words that we could use to express our values is almost endless but sometimes we can struggle to come up with the right one.

Here is a list of more than 150 more common values that will help to prompt you:

Accountability	Discipline	Humour	Respect
Accuracy	Discretion	Humility	Restraint
Achievement	Diversity	Independence	Results-oriented
Adventure	Dynamism	Ingenuity	Rigour
Altruism	Economy	Inner Harmony	Romance
Appearance	Effectiveness	Inquisitiveness	Security
Ambition	Efficiency	Insightfulness	Self-actualization
Autonomy	Elegance	Integrity	Self-control
Assertiveness	Empathy	Intelligence	Self-expression
Balance	Enjoyment	Intimacy	Selflessness
Beauty	Enthusiasm	Intuition	Self-reliance
Being the best	Environment	Joy	Sensitivity
Belonging	Equality	Justice	Serenity
Boldness	Excellence	Leadership	Service
Calmness	Excitement	Legacy	Shrewdness
Carefulness	Expertise	Love	Simplicity
Challenge	Exploration	Loyalty	Soundness
Cheerfulness	Expressiveness	Making a difference	Speed
Clarity	Fairness	Mastery	Spirituality
Commitment	Faith	Merit	Spontaneity
Community	Family	Nature	Stability
Communication	Flexibility	Obedience	Status
Compassion	Fidelity	Openness	Strategic
Competitiveness	Fitness	Order	Strength
Connectivity	Fluency	Originality	Structure
Consistency	Focus	Partnership	Success
Contentment	Freedom	Patriotism	Support
Continuous Improvement	Friendship	Perfection	Teamwork
Contribution	Fulfilment	Personal growth	Thankfulness
Control	Fun	Piety	Thoroughness
Cooperation	Generosity	Positivity	Thoughtfulness
Correctness	Goodness	Power	Timeliness
Courtesy	Grace	Practicality	Tolerance
Creativity	Growth	Privacy	Tradition
Curiosity	Happiness	Preparedness	Trustworthiness
Decisiveness	Hard Work	Professionalism	Truth
Democraticness	Health	Prudence	Understanding
Dependability	Helping Society	Quality-orientation	Uniqueness
Determination	Holiness	Recognition	Unity
Devoutness	Honesty	Reliability	Usefulness
Diligence	Honour	Resourcefulness	Vitality

What are your top 3 personal values?

Pick the 3 most important principles, those with the highest score and correlation after looking at the various aspects above.

Why 3? Because:

“If you have more than three priorities, you have no priorities”

Brené Brown, Dare to Lead

Three is a powerful number for various reasons (to find our more read The Rule of 3).

One of the best ways to identify your values is to follow this easy process:

1. print off a list (such as the one above) and then cut them up so you have one single value per piece of paper or card.
2. Now sort those values into three equal piles (most important, less important, least important)
3. Take the ‘most important’ pile and discard the rest.
4. Go through steps 2 and 3 until you are left with just 3 values.

How do you define or refine those principles?

For each of the 3 words that you have chosen, write your own definition. Think:

• What does the word mean to you?
• Which actions or behaviours display your defined value?
• What other word or words would you add to the initial one to make it embody the value most clearly?

The idea here is to define how you actually live out your value. Simon Sinek puts it in this way:

“For values or guiding principles to be truly effective they have to be verbs. It’s not “integrity,” it’s “always do the right thing.” It’s not “innovation,” it’s “look at the problem from a different angle.” Articulating our values as verbs gives us a clear idea – we have a clear idea of how to act in any situation.”

Simon Sinek

Next, put your principles in priority order. This is important as there will be decisions where you have to know the most important factor. To help you try asking these questions:

• If you could satisfy only one of the values which would you choose?
• When a situation causes a conflict between two of your values (for example career and family) what would you do?

 

Congratulations!

“It’s not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.”
― Roy Disney

Once you know your values you can use them to guide you in making decisions, setting goals and living a more fulfilling life. You are likely to continue to refine your list over time so it is worth reviewing whenever you review your plans.

We have to make an active choice. If we go with the flow then we can be swayed by wrong beliefs and unhelpful thoughts that can create bad habits, wrong values and an unhappy destiny. Or, if we actively work to define our values, we can build useful habits, have positive words and actions and create positive thoughts and liberating beliefs. We all have a personal responsibility for our destiny.

Taking things further

You have made a big step towards understanding your values and this will really help you. It does not end there though. In my experience, understanding values is an iterative process; you will refine your principles every time to take time to really examine them.

Your values create a firm platform for your decisions and plans. Question is, now you have the foundations, what will you build?

You may want to start making a plan for what you want to do next and if so you will find my post on making an action plan useful.

You may want also want some help, delving deeper into your values and identifying your goals. I have the pleasure of seeing amazing, positive, transformations in the individuals and organisations I work with. If you would like some assistance too, in person or online, then please do drop me a line. You can email me via the contact page.

I am fascinated by the concept of values and their different types; particularly how they affect our character, decision-making and leadership. The more I explore this topic and implement the lessons, the more I am convinced of the importance of understanding values at every level, from the individual to the global.

In my own learning journey, I have discovered the impact of knowing my core values and applying that to my life choices. As a coach, I have witnessed the transformation that exploring personal values can have; seeing people gain a deeper understanding of themselves and others.  As a leader, I have seen the impact of leading authentically, by my principles, and the transformation of groups into high-performing teams, when they properly understand and behave according to their shared values.

I have also witnessed first-hand the friction when people breach universal values on the international stage and the terrible conflict that results. Now, as we live through yet another terrible war in Ukraine, it is important to reflect on what these values are and how we should respond. Not only that, there are other crises, such as environmental change – wicked problems – that require a principled approach if we are ever going to tackle them.

An overview of what values are

This specific post looks at the different levels of values and brings together the differing perspectives, paradigms, and insights that I have shared in the most recent ten articles in my Leadership Unlocked column. This post provides an overview of the topic as well as embedded hyperlinks to help you explore in more depth any area that particularly piques your interest.

The different types of values

Firstly, we should ask the question, what are values? Among other things, values are principles, standards, judgements, beliefs, and priorities. They are things we give worth, a concept that is explored in How We All Worship Something (and Why That’s Important).

Broadly, values can be categorised into three types:

• Personal values
• Corporate values
• Universal values

These different types of values tend to overlap and have some commonalities but the way these values are expressed and prioritised is often subtly different at each level. These can be visualised as overlapping spheres or ellipses, as in the diagram below.

Different typoes of values and how they overlap

Let’s look at each type of value in turn:

Personal values

Personal values are the specific combination of values that best reflect our character and preferences. For example, these could be compassion, courage, honesty, or any number of other virtues. For me, adventure and inquisitiveness are core personal values.

Finding your personal values is an important part of self-awareness. As the Greek philosophers said, the starting point of wisdom is to know thyself. Self-inquiry is the start of self-improvement, as explained in Why Socrates is the Father of Self Improvement.

Our values reflect our sense of identity. If we are not true to our values we become inauthentic – an imposter – as explored in How to Smash Imposter Syndrome: Don’t Be a Job Title.

Understanding our personal values is also important in terms of mental health and physical wellbeing. Our values help us to gauge our performance and energy levels, as seen in Burnout Prevention: How to Monitor the Essentials.

And once we find our personal values, we become better at achieving things; we align ourselves to our values to achieve our targets. In other words, to achieve your aim you need to know and apply your principles.

But it does not stop there. We need to constantly re-examine our values. We change and our situation changes. These changes can cause misalignments between ourselves and these actions. This can lead to feelings of frustration and unhappiness, as I have experienced and shared in My Mid-life Crisis and How to Re-find Happiness.

Corporate values

Corporate values are the precepts we hold in common within a family, team, organisation, or people group. These are the principles that bind a group of people together for a particular purpose.

Many organisations have statements that include values such as integrity, creativity, and collaboration. These values should be visible in the behaviour of an organisation, as explained by the Iceberg Model of culture.

If organisations don’t take their values and culture into account then things can go very wrong, especially when they are implementing change programmes, as explained in How to Stop Culture Eating Your Strategy for Breakfast.

Universal values

Universal values are core virtues that transcend individuals, organisations, and national borders. Examples of these would include those enshrined in the United Nations Charter, such as peace, freedom, equal rights, and human dignity.

We often examine values through a very personal lens, and this is important, but this can often limit our ideas of success, both in time and level of impact. Values or virtues should help us define what achievement really means. This success goes beyond just us as individuals as none of us can live a life without interacting with and influencing others. Therefore, we cannot examine values in isolation. Personal values are nothing without the context of corporate and universal values.

There can often be a difference between how we try to sell ourselves – through our CV or on social media – and what really matters when we consider the perspective of universal values. What does success actually mean in this life? The author David Brooks challenges the question “what do I want from life?” and asks another question, “what does life ask of me?” This challenging idea is explored further in What is the Difference Between Eulogy Virtues and Resume Values.

How values can reveal your personal purpose

Here is another way to look at the three types of values (personal, corporate, and universal) intersect. This time we have three overlapping circles.

Where values overlap can give us insight to our purpose

Each of us has a unique expression of how and where these circles meet. When you have explored and understood each different sphere you should have a better idea of where and how the values overlap.

Why is that important? Well, this intersection can give us a great insight into the specific role we can play, and the special impact that we can bring to the world. We may not feel we can change the whole world, but we can certainly change our world; the environment and the community we live in. This opportunity, where our values align and can bring the greatest impact, can reveal our personal or life purpose.

So, what is that place for you?

Discover insightful articles on how to improve values and ethics. Learn practical tips and strategies for cultivating strong ethical principles, fostering integrity, and making values-based decisions in personal and professional life.

What are your personal values and life goals? Do you have a personal action plan to help you succeed? Would you like a template to help you?

Look no further!

Over the past 10 years, thousands of people have used The Right Questions approach to discover their personal principles and then to live them out in order to thrive and succeed in life.

Now, in 2021, on the ten-year anniversary of The Right Questions, the workbook has been updated and re-published. You can get your free PDF copy – just sign up for the newsletter and download the e-book.

The Right Questions approach

The Right Questions is a planning and decision-making framework based upon asking interrogative questions. The idea for the approach is rooted in Simon Ash’s experience as a bomb disposal officer. The framework has been developed through research, application in management roles, and coaching of senior leaders.

How to use the Right Questions workbook

The Right Questions workbook will help you explore your life purpose, to set and achieve your personal goals.

The book is interactive and will build into a personal action plan that you can keep. You can either print off the book and fill it in by hand, write out the exercises in a notebook, or use the template electronically. The workbook structure allows you to complete the exercises as you go along. The action plan naturally builds as you follow through the steps.

To help you there is introductory information for each step but you will also find hyperlinks to more in-depth advice and further exercises that can help you along the way.

How to get your free e-book

All you need to do to start is sign up to the newsletter; you are only a couple of clicks away! So, just fill in your name and email address then check your inbox to confirm your subscription and receive your free ebook.

Click here to sign up now

Enjoy the adventure!

“Happy is he who acts the Columbus to his own soul!”

Anonymous

Our core values and principles act as a moral compass, helping to inform our thinking, guide our decisions and drive our actions.

What is the definition of a core value or principle?

According to the Oxford Dictionary, a core value is:

“A principle or belief that a person or organization views as being of central importance.”

Whether we can articulate them or not, we all have such beliefs that shape our thoughts, decisions and actions.

Core values remain true. As Jim Collins and Jerry Porras stated in their book Built To Last(1994), core values are inherent and sacrosanct; they can never be compromised, either for convenience or short-term economic gain.

If we do compromise our principles, it is likely to lead to pain in the long run. Conversely, we are more likely to he happy and fulfilled if we know and follow our core values. As Stephen Covey notes:

“Peace of mind comes when your life is in harmony with true principles and values and in no other way.” – Stephen R Covey

One of the most important aspects of core principles is that they help us make decisions. This is why we often compare values and principles to fixed navigation aids such as the North Star or magnetic north, as displayed on a compass. We use our values to guide our way, especially when we are finding it hard to see an obvious route forward.

“It’s not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.” – Roy Disney

The Moral Compass Tool

Have you ever been lost, not knowing which way to go?

There have been many times in the mountains when I have suddenly found myself in fog, hardly able to see. It is very easy to make a mistake in these moments and wander off in the wrong direction. The cloud can be disorientating. Sometimes you can be sure you are heading the right way until you establish your true heading.

At times like these you must rely on your compass rather than what you can see or even what you feel is the right way to go. The compass, used properly, can help guide the way. And it is the same for our moral compass. When we have to make challenging decisions, where the way ahead may not be obvious, we have to rely on that inner compass.

Therefore, when it comes to The Right Questions toolkit, our core values are represented by the compass. This is a fitting metaphor as many people talk about their moral compass. This is effectively the set of principles that aid us in making choices, be those ethical or everyday decisions.

“I have learned that as long as I hold fast to my beliefs and values – and follow my own moral compass – then the only expectations I need to live up to are my own.” – Michelle Obama

As with a real compass, to be able to use our moral compass effectively, we need to understand the forces that pull on the compass needle. In this case, we need to identify the core values – the hidden forces – that push us in certain directions.

As discussed previously, examining our passions, priorities and personal stories can all give us insights into our core principles. But sometimes finding a word to describe these tenets is a challenge, and that is why a couple of other exercises can help identify and name our values.

 The common work and life principles list exercise

A good exercise to identify your core principles is to use a list of example values. Once you have the list of values you can:

1. Score each word in terms of how important you think that principle is to you.
2. Then score each word in terms of how closely your behaviours and actions match that principle (1 hardly at all through to 10 being always).
3. Add the importance and action scores together for each value.
4. Identify the highest-scoring (most important) core values.
5. If you have more than 3-5 principles scoring equally highly, score them again. This time using fractions, or putting them into priority order.
6. Once you have identified your top 3-5 values, write out a personal definition of why the word is important. Also, describe the actions that reflect that principle.

Here is an example table and a list of common values and principles for reference. You can use the template either by copying it into a spreadsheet or printing it out:

	Value	Importance  (1-10)	Action (1-10)	Combined Score
1	Accountability
2	Accuracy
3	Achievement
4	Adventure
5	Altruism
6	Appearance
7	Ambition
8	Autonomy
9	Assertiveness
10	Balance
11	Beauty
12	Being the best
13	Belonging
14	Boldness
15	Calmness
16	Carefulness
17	Challenge
18	Cheerfulness
19	Clarity
20	Commitment
21	Community
22	Communication
23	Compassion
24	Competitiveness
25	Connectivity
26	Consistency
27	Contentment
28	Continuous Improvement
29	Contribution
30	Control
31	Cooperation
32	Correctness
33	Courtesy
34	Creativity
35	Curiosity
36	Decisiveness
37	Democraticness
38	Dependability
39	Determination
40	Devoutness
41	Diligence
42	Discipline
43	Discretion
44	Diversity
45	Dynamism
46	Economy
47	Effectiveness
48	Efficiency
49	Elegance
50	Empathy
51	Enjoyment
52	Enthusiasm
53	Environment
54	Equality
55	Excellence
56	Excitement
57	Expertise
58	Exploration
59	Expressiveness
60	Fairness
61	Faith
62	Family
63	Flexibility
64	Fidelity
65	Fitness
66	Fluency
67	Focus
68	Freedom
69	Friendship
70	Fulfilment
71	Fun
72	Generosity
73	Goodness
74	Grace
75	Growth
76	Happiness
77	Hard Work
78	Health
79	Helping Society
80	Holiness
81	Honesty
82	Honor
83	Humour
84	Humility
85	Independence
86	Ingenuity
87	Inner Harmony
88	Inquisitiveness
89	Insightfulness
90	Integrity
91	Intelligence
92	Intimacy
93	Intuition
94	Joy
95	Justice
96	Leadership
97	Legacy
98	Love
99	Loyalty
100	Making a difference
101	Mastery
102	Merit
103	Nature
104	Obedience
105	Openness
106	Order
107	Originality
108	Partnership
109	Patriotism
110	Perfection
111	Personal growth
112	Piety
113	Positivity
114	Power
115	Practicality
116	Privacy
117	Preparedness
118	Professionalism
119	Prudence
120	Quality-orientation
121	Recognition
122	Reliability
123	Resourcefulness
124	Respect
125	Restraint
126	Results-oriented
127	Rigor
128	Romance
129	Security
130	Self-actualization
131	Self-control
132	Self-expression
133	Selflessness
134	Self-reliance
135	Sensitivity
136	Serenity
137	Service
138	Shrewdness
139	Simplicity
140	Soundness
141	Speed
142	Spirituality
143	Spontaneity
144	Stability
145	Status
146	Strategic
147	Strength
148	Structure
149	Success
150	Support
151	Teamwork
152	Temperance
153	Thankfulness
154	Thoroughness
155	Thoughtfulness
156	Timeliness
157	Tolerance
158	Traditionalism
159	Trustworthiness
160	Truth
161	Understanding
162	Uniqueness
163	Unity
164	Usefulness
165	Vision
166	Vitality
167	Vulnerability

“Principles are fundamental truths that serve as the foundations for behaviour that gets you what you want out of life. They can be applied again and again in similar situations to help you achieve your goals.” – Ray Dalio

The values cards exercise

Another great way to work out your core values is to use a deck of cards which have example words printed on each card, one principle per card. You can either purchase these decks or create your own. For example, you could write out or print the list of principles given above to do this exercise. Once you have a values card deck you can follow the steps below to get to your top three core values.

“If you have more than three priorities, you have no priorities” – Brené Brown

Values card deck instructions:

1. If there are any blank cards separate these out first.
2. Think of some values or principles that you think are important to you. You can write these (one word per card) on the blank cards.
3. Now sort the pack of cards into three columns of roughly equal size. One column has the most important values to you personally. Another has those of middling importance, and the third contains the principles that are of lesser importance to you.
4. When trying to choose between values with similar meanings, pick the word that resonates the most with you.
5. Take away the columns of cards containing the values of middling and lesser importance.
6. With the remaining cards, now separate them again into three columns. Again, reflecting what you believe are your highest, middling, and lowest-importance principles.
7. Keep the most important cards, once again stacking the others to one side
8. With this final selection now put them into priority order, aiming to select your top three personal values.
9. Now, for these top three values, write your own definition of what they mean to you. Describe the sorts of behaviours that are reflected in this principle.

Using and refining your core values

Once you have identified your top 3 core values it is worth spending some time analysing how you use them. Here are some simple ways to do this:

• When you have to make a choice in the coming days, think about how those values impact the decision.
• Set some time in the diary, a week or month from now so you can reflect upon your chosen values. Ask yourself, do they still feel right? How have your actions over that period reflected your values?
• In another 3-6 months go through the list of principles or values card exercise again and compare your results. Did you come up with the same three core values?

It is worth doing this as it is quite hard to identify your top three values in your first go. Also, our present circumstances influence our priorities at any given moment. Therefore, it is important to examine our values over time. This ensures we have identified the right ones and can properly express what they mean to us.

Most importantly, this reflection allows us to highlight the behaviours that embody those values that are most important to us. We can then make sure that our core values become verbs that drive action, not just nouns that remain conceptual.

When you have properly identified your core values you can see how they impact your everyday life. Don’t just react to circumstances, use your inner compass to direct your behaviours, your decisions and your life direction. As Stephen Covey encourages us:

“Live your life by a compass, not a clock.” – Stephen R. Covey

Where are you right now? What is your location and present situation?

Having an accurate assessment of our current circumstances is very important. As novelist and poet Wendell Berry notes:

“If you don’t know where you are, you don’t know who you are.” – Wendell Berry

The importance of situational awareness

“Show me where you are.”

The sergeant looked at me expectedly, waiting for me to point out my location on the map. It was a simple question, and in most cases, a simple thing to answer but in this situation, it was not straightforward.

I, along with a group of other military trainees, had just been dropped off from the back of a truck. We had been travelling for over an hour and, during that time, we had not been able to see much due to the canvas covering the vehicle. The only glimpses of the outside world were through the flapping material to the rear, and that view was usually little more than a receding track.

So, in this case, the question (from the slightly scary senior non-commissioned officer) triggered immediate feelings of anxiety.

I took some deep breaths to stem the rising panic.

Having wrestled my pre-frontal cortex back from this temporary amygdala hijacking, I started to think. Where was I? What clues could I see that would help me identify my exact location?

We were not allowed to use a GPS device but there were other things to help me. I knew where I had started and, with a rough time and distance appreciation, I could at least guess at the general area we had been dropped at. Next, looking at the relief of the land, I could see a couple of distinct hills and the track intersected with a nearby stream in a re-entrant (small valley). I found similar features on my map and then made sure their alignment was correct by using my compass.

Don’t start moving forward until you know where you are

I looked up from the map and, using a blade of grass, pointed out where I thought I was to the sergeant. He gave no sign that I was either right or wrong. He just said, “Your next checkpoint is at grid 385957. The clock has started.”

The pressure of the situation rose again. More deep breaths. This was a timed march and we had to finish the course in under the set time or risk failing the course. I quickly found the grid reference on the map and started to take a bearing that would give me my starting direction.

As I was trying to do this, I saw people running off in various directions. Worry again. How had they finished so fast? Were they trying to go to the same place? If so, weren’t they going the wrong way? Or had I got the location wrong?

I suppressed the urge to start running. As people left the area, I swiftly re-checked my logic. I came to the same conclusion. my location was correct; I was ready to set off. Stowing my map, I fixed my eyes on a feature in the distance, as indicated by my compass, and started the shuffling run of the over-burdened soldier.

Fortunately, I got it right and I completed the test. Not everyone was so lucky. Hours later, after the cut-off, various figures hauled themselves and their heavy rucksacks back into the wagon. Their bodies sagged with defeat. I recognised many of the same faces that I had seen dashing off prematurely at the start.

The GPS Tool: A Personal SWOT Analysis.

I was not fortunate enough to have a GPS then but most of the time now, when I am in the mountains or on an expedition, I carry a GPS device. It is a great tool for quickly and accurately confirming one’s location. Along with other tools, such as a map and compass, one can build a good picture of the situation.

In our life’s journey, it is also important to periodically confirm our current position so we can make good choices about our next steps. We need to understand where we are to ensure we successfully get where we want to go.

Various conceptual tools can help with this, but it is hard to beat the SWOT analysis. Like a GPS, it gives us a quick snapshot of where we are and provides the data we need to do an effective situational assessment.

You have likely come across the SWOT Analysis tool before, but you might not have used it as a tool to examine your personal circumstances. We might think we know where we are and roughly what our situation is, but what does that actually mean? As Malcolm Gladwell puts it:

“The key to good decision-making is not knowledge. It is understanding. We are swimming in the former. We are desperately lacking in the latter.” – Malcolm Gladwell

The SWOT analysis allows us to quickly identify the key themes of our current situation and then analyse them to have a better understanding and then make better decisions about future direction.

How to do a Personal SWOT analysis

To do a personal SWOT analysis you can follow these simple steps:

Step 1: Create

The SWOT table is created this way:

• Strengths and weaknesses are usually listed in the first row of the matrix; S and then W. These relate to internal factors.
• Opportunities and threats are external issues or circumstances. These create the second row; O and then T.
• In this layout, the first column, strengths and opportunities, are the positive or helpful factors
• The second column, weaknesses and threats, are the potentially negative or harmful issues

Step 2: Brainstorm

Now, brainstorm as many different considerations as you can under each heading to fill out the matrix.

Here are some questions to help you:

Strengths (internal/personal):

• What are your key skills, areas of experience or expertise?
• Can you define what makes you different? What is your USP (unique selling point/proposition)?
• What are your core values? What do you love, enjoy, or prioritise?

Weaknesses (internal/personal):

• What do you not enjoy doing?
• Where have you failed or fallen behind others?
• What skill gaps do you have?

 Threats (external/circumstantial):

• What circumstances are most troubling you?
• Who is your major competition?
• Which challenge is the most important right now?
• What is the worst thing that could happen to you/?

Opportunities (external/circumstantial):

• How can you leverage your present situation?
• Who/what could most help you right now?
• How is change providing new openings?

Step 3: Prioritise

Now prioritise the items in each section and work out which are the top three to five things in each quadrant.

Step 4: Analyse

Look at each item in turn and consider the actions you could take. Here are some questions to help:

• How can you play to or maximise your strengths?
• What personal development goals, people and processes can help address your weaknesses?
• How can you exploit, expand or multiply the opportunities?
• What control measures do you need to put in place to limit the threats?

Now look for any further relationships you can identify across the columns, rows and diagonals.

Remember that weaknesses are often a reflection of strengths. For example, if you have a strength in that you are very good at coming up with lots of ideas, or you are a business with lots of products, a weakness might be that you find it hard to focus on just one of them.

Similarly, look at the flip side of external factors; you may find that threats can also provide opportunities.

Personal situational awareness: know where you are and what that means

The instructions above are taken from a longer post, so if you would like more background on the SWOT analysis and an example then please read: How to Do a SWOT Analysis

You can also watch the YouTube video for further explanation and a visual of how to create a personal SWOT template.

Once you are happy, take some time to do a personal SWOT analysis and note down your findings. Sometimes that means facing some unpleasant realities but confronting the brutal facts (as per the Stockdale Paradox) is a crucial element of planning for a successful outcome. As writer James Baldwin observed:

“Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced” – James Baldwin

What do you tell people when they ask you what you are about? What is your life purpose and how would you sum it up?

When we talk about ourselves, we frequently share details such as what we do for a living, what we are studying, where we live or where we are from. But even though those things give some clues to who we are, they don’t necessarily reveal our principles, dreams, or life purpose. Often, even our family and close friends can be unaware of these deeper life themes.

We don’t go around advertising these things and yet we are willing to purchase items that market the slogans, ideas or values of other people and companies. Why is that?

It makes sense that we should be clear about our purpose and willing to share it with others. Having a purpose is important. Research has shown that living a life of meaning is connected to better health, relationships and greater achievement.

“One thing is clear: that having a purpose in life is something that Humans thrive on.” – Steve Peters

So, how would you express yours? What would be the slogan that you could live by?

A T-shirt can say a lot about a person

Do you have a favourite T-shirt? What designs or words does it have on it?

I love a good T-shirt. I have owned some favourites over the years that I have worn until they were so thread-bare they almost fell off before I took them off!

Some of my favourite ones have had pictures and slogans on them. For example, as a teenager, I thought it was highly amusing to wear a t-shirt that boldly said, “Only here for the beer!” A few years later I owned a North Face shirt that I loved, which had a picture of a mountain and the slogan “Never Stop Exploring” written on it.

I am partial to beer but (not surprisingly) the second t-shirt was a better reflection of what I care most about. I love the mountains and one of my core values is adventure, so the words on the t-shirt spoke to me, and they reflected to other people some of my dreams and desires for my life.

We often purchase clothing and other items because they express something of who we are. Therefore, if you could design something yourself, with your own slogan and logo, what would that be?

The Right Questions Life Purpose Tool: The T-Shirt Exercise

Not all of us are talented designers but this is where the humble t-shirt comes to the rescue. We can all think about what we might put on a t-shirt (and many of us already have!)

So, if you had a t-shirt that could sum up what your life is about, what would it say?

This is a fun exercise to go through and we can think about it from four different perspectives:

1. A slogan
2. A quote
3. An elevator pitch
4. Logo

Slogan

If you had to sum up your life goal in a slogan or tagline, what would it be?

Marketers spend a long time crafting slogans for companies that try to capture the essence of what they are about (or what they are selling). A good slogan is pithy mand memorable. Consider these examples:

• Google: Do the right thing (previously: Don’t be evil)
• Samsung: Do what you can’t
• Airbnb: Below anywhere
• Ford: Go further
• Apple: Think different
• Nike: Just do it
• Adidas: Impossible is nothing
• IMAX: Think big
• Electronic Arts: Challenge everything
• Harley Davidson: All for freedom, freedom for all

What phrase would you like to be associated with? Have a go a drafting something now.

Quote

Sometimes it can be hard to find the right words. When that is the case, we can lean on the wise words of other people. I certainly do and that is why I include so many in my writing. To help, you can follow these steps:

1. Think about your favourite books, movies, and songs. Which lines stick with you and why? Write down as many as you can.

• Remember your core values and search for quotes that contain those words. This can be very easily done on the internet.

• Now consider which quote means the most to you and then paraphrase it. Use your own words and personalise the quote.

“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” George Bernard Shaw

Elevator pitch

An elevator pitch is a short marketing pitch. The idea is that you can share your idea in the time it takes to ride a lift.

It is a helpful exercise to try and make things succinct. As with a mission statement, it forces us to break down a goal into its essential parts and find the essence of a concept.

So, if you only had a few seconds to share your life purpose with someone, what would you say? How would you explain what you are about, what drives you and how you want to help others?

My advice is start with writing out something quite long and then edit it down. Whittle away at the phrase, carefully selecting the words, until you can get it down to a short paragraph.

“If you care about being thought credible and intelligent, do not use complex language where simpler language will do.” Daniel Kahneman

Logo

Instead of words, you can also think about pictures. What image or logo would best sum you and your philosophy of life? You can use these prompts to help you:

• Think about your favourite photos or works of art. If you could choose just one, which would it be and why?

• Bring to mind your vision statement. What image could you create to sum that up?

• Consider your values. What logo could express your core principles?

Make your t-shirt design and wear your life purpose statement with pride!

Once you have a slogan, quote, or elevator pitch that you are happy with, write it out and put it somewhere you can see it. Draw out your logo. Let it be a prompt and inspiration. Why not put it on a T-shirt? It could be a great conversation starter!

What is your personality type? How does your personality affect the way you do things? Which test is best to help understand my personality traits?

Why we need to understand personality

Is personality important? Evidence suggests that the psychology of personality types is important as it aids our self-awareness. This, in turn, helps us to plan for and achieve goals in a way that makes the best of our strengths. We are also much more likely to be happy (as well as successful) if we understand our personalities, characters and preferences.

I am a great believer in self-discovery as foundational to fulfilment in life. And once again I am not alone in this. From Socrates to Stephen R. Covey, the history of personal development emphasises the importance of self-awareness.

“To know thyself is the beginning of wisdom” – Socrates

It is somewhat tautological to say that self-improvement should start with self, but it is a point that is often overlooked. All too often, when setting goals, we choose to focus on other people. This might be in making unhealthy comparisons (a particular problem in the age of social media), blaming our situation on others, or endlessly seeking to fix everything around us, without doing any critique of self.

What is the difference between character and personality?

The terms character and personality are often used synonymously, but in psychology they tend to be used in slightly different ways.

Character

Character generally refers to the beliefs and moral values that we hold. In other words, why we do things or the ethical code that informs our actions. You can therefore see that it is no accident that The Right Questions Framework starts with the ‘Why’ question and an exploration of personal values. This knowledge of character and values is foundational to self-awareness, good decision-making and overall success.

Personality

Personality is usually more associated with how we do things. Our personality reflects how we think, act and feel as we navigate life. Here you can see the overlap with character, as both impact behaviour, but personality traits are often seen as innate qualities that we were born with (although the nature vs nurture debate still rages on this and many other issues).

Personality tests – Myers Briggs (MBTI) and the OCEAN (Big 5) Model

There are various ways to explore our personalities but perhaps the simplest way is with the use of personality tests. There are many personality tests of one sort or another and you might have heard or used some, such as the DISC personality test or the Clifton Strengths Finder. The best-known of all is probably the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator® (MBTI®). This was the first such test I took.

Since then, I have utilised many psychometric tests in my work, and I now prefer using the Big 5 (OCEAN) model. The Big 5 is the preferred standard test of most psychologists and has been adopted by many employers (such as NASA). The OCEAN model emphasises personality traits rather than types.

Is personality more about traits or types?

The difference between traits and types reflects the distinction between analogue and digital. Traits are analogue as they measure aspects of character on a spectrum. For example, we might be more or less of a team player. The Big 5 (OCEAN) model uses this approach to understanding personality.

Personality type theory is more digital, saying that some either is or isn’t of a certain sort. For example, a test using the ‘type’ approach will say you are either extroverted or introverted. It does not illustrate to what degree you are either introverted, or extroverted, and the same with other traits. In other words, it is less nuanced. The Myers-Briggs test uses this more binary approach of typology.

Are some personality types good and others bad?

One downside with type theory is that you can start to identify as a fixed kind of character and, even worse, start to think of that type as either positive or negative. This is unhelpful. Personality traits are about preferences and these preferences are not necessarily good or bad, they are not ethical judgements. Also, personality, traits and preferences are not fixed. They can change situationally and over time. For example, I have grown more confident over the years; that element of my personality is not fixed.

Therefore, in my experience, there is no one ‘right’ personality type, but different people thrive in different situations. And the science backs me up on this. That is why the psychological study of personality and the science of identifying personality types has grown in scope and importance.

What are the Big 5 personality types and what does OCEAN stand for?

The Big 5, which stands for five personality traits (also known by the acronym OCEAN) was developed by a series of researchers but is most closely associated with the work of Paul Costa and Robert McCrae. The 5 traits of the OCEAN model are:

O – Openness

C – Conscientiousness

E – Extroversion

A – Agreeableness

N – Neuroticism

The traits are generally measured with psychometric tests (questionnaires that indicate preferences) and the scores are expressed on a scale or spectrum. There are many tests available, some even for free. But, whether paid or not, make sure whatever test you use comes from a recognised provider with proven credentials if you want to trust the results.

The Big 5 (OCEAN) personality traits explained

Here is an explanation of each of the Big 5 traits:

Openness

Openness is the degree to which people are open to new experiences and ideas, being creative, having imagination and creativity. Less ‘open’ people prefer routine and deep, specialist knowledge.

Conscientiousness

The more conscientious a person is, the more organised, disciplined, and hardworking they tend to be. Less conscientious people tend to be more impulsive and disorganised.

Extroversion

Extroverts get more of their energy from external stimuli. They tend to be gregarious, outgoing, positive, enthusiastic, and assertive. Introverts get their energy more internally. They tend to think more before speaking, prefer fewer (but deeper) relationships and retreat from others to recharge.

Agreeableness

A more agreeable person is more likeable, cooperative, and trusting. They tend to be warm and good-natured. Less agreeable people are less trusting, more critical, and often prefer to work alone.

Neuroticism

The higher a person is on the neuroticism scale, the more they worry. They tend towards negativity and are more prone to depression and anxiety. Less neurotic people are calm, even-tempered, and more secure in themselves.

Free personality tests

If you want to discover your personality type, the easiest thing is to take a short test. There are many resources available online and many are free.

One free resource I often use is https://openpsychometrics.org where you can find a variety of tests including the Big 5 model.

Applying the Big 5 personality traits – an example

By way of an example (and to show any given trait is not good or bad) we can consider NASA astronaut selection for different missions. Let’s take one trait, that of agreeableness in this instance.

For a mission of a long duration, with people stuck in close confines such as a trip to Mars, you want people higher on the agreeableness spectrum. That is because they are more likely to work well as a team (and not rub each other up the wrong way!) This is similar to the type of person selected to serve for long durations in Antarctic research stations.

By contrast, someone completing a solo mission might be better off having a lower agreeableness rating as they will need to be happy working on their own, with no company, for long periods.

So here we can see it is not that agreeableness is good or bad. Where someone lands on the spectrum just indicates tasks or roles they are better suited to, but this is situational and just one factor to take into consideration.

How the Big 5 (and other personality tests) can help or hinder us

Taking a personality test, especially one using the preferred Big 5 (OCEAN) model, can be beneficial in aiding self-awareness. Traits show preferences and help us to identify our strengths and weaknesses. It can help inform us of roles that we might prefer and excel in (and others where we might struggle).

But personality is not fixed. Therefore, we must be careful not to identify too closely with personality types as this can get us into an unhealthy fixed mindset. This is why we focus on traits. Each trait sits on a spectrum that can change with circumstance and time. We also need to be careful not to think of our personality as good or bad. And, if we feel our personality has room for improvement, then the evidence shows that we can change.

The Right Questions ID CARD Tool: Understanding Self with Personality Tests

I very rarely go anywhere without some form of identification. Whether that is an ID card for work or a passport for travel, we often need a way to confirm who we are.

Within The Right Questions Framework, the ID CARD tool helps us think about who we are by assessing our personality traits. To do this we simply follow these steps:

• I – Itemise what you think your strengths, weaknesses, preferences and personality traits are. (N.B. Doing this first helps to avoid some of the unconscious bias that can creep in once you start speaking to other people or doing tests.)
• D – Discuss with other people and find out how they would describe your personality.

• C – Choose a suitable personality test. If you have not done one before then I recommend the OCEAN/Big 5 model.
• A – Answer the questions and complete the questionnaire.
• R – Review the results using your intuition (whether the results feel right) and the evidence of your behaviour (to confirm or deny a particular trait). In this way you can assess how closely you think the results reflect your actual personality.
• D – Do another test. After having done one personality test (such as the Big 5), then do another. You can also use different sorts of tests and compare the results. It is also helpful to do the same test but after a gap. That could be days, weeks, even years, but it is insightful to see what might have changed over time.

What is your personality type?

If you have ever done a specific personality test, such as the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator® (MBTI®) then you may even answer that question with a four-letter acronym such as ‘INTJ’, or ‘ESTP’.

The Myers-Briggs psychometric questionnaire, the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator® (or MBTI®) was the first personality test that I came across in my career. It is a very popular tool (the Myers-Briggs Foundation claims that over 2 million people use the system every year), hence it is not uncommon for people in conversation to describe themselves according to their MBTI profile.

When I first used the MBTI tool, I found it informative, but upon repeat use (and further research) I started to discover issues with the system. But to understand these limitations we need to understand a little of this field of psychology and the approach used by Myers-Briggs.

What is personality in psychology?

Before we explore the idea of types, we first need to clarify what we mean by personality. It is a word that encompasses so much significance and yet we can often struggle to explain it. So let us turn to a couple of definitions.

The Oxford English Dictionary’s definition of personality is:

“The combination of characteristics or qualities that form an individual’s distinctive character.”

This is a common understanding of personality, but this definition is worth expanding upon when trying to quantify the psychological elements of character. For example, the American Psychological Society has a slightly fuller definition:

“Personality refers to the enduring characteristics and behaviour that comprise a person’s unique adjustment to life, including major traits, interests, drives, values, self-concept, abilities, and emotional patterns.”

As you can see from the later definition there is an emphasis on behaviour and personality traits. This reflects the current predominant psychological thinking in this field. Traits are aspects of our character, particular qualities, the makeup of which makes us unique.

The trait theory of personality – from Hippocrates to Jung

The idea of personality traits goes at least as far back as Hippocrates (c.460-377/359BC) who wrote about the Four Humours. The Four Humours or Temperaments can be translated as cheerful (sanguine), sombre(melancholic), enthusiastic (choleric) or calm (phlegmatic), and the idea of identifying these was to assist in the diagnosis of physical medical conditions.

This thinking on personality did not really change until the late 1800s and this four-element system informed the next person who revolutionised theories about personality, that person being Carl Jung (1875-1961).

Early in his career, Jung developed a friendship with neurologist Sigmund Freud (founder of psychoanalysis) and for a while, they collaborated in their work. However, these two heavyweights of psychology eventually parted ways as Jung’s theories of personality (and broader psychology) started to diverge from Freud’s. Key to the differences was Jung’s downplaying of the importance of libido (sex drive) on the subconscious, a cornerstone of Freudian psychology. Instead, he started to theorise about personality types and how they reflected the balance of conscious and unconscious thought in human behaviour.

The (slightly misunderstood) importance of extroversion and introversion

Jung approached the idea of personality from the perspective of types (or archetypes) rather than traits. As with Hippocrates, his motivation behind identifying types was from a medical perspective, but in Jung’s case (as with Freud) his was primarily concerned with psychological maladies rather than purely physical ones.

The most widely known concept that Jung introduced was the concept of extraversion (extroversion) and introversion. What many people don’t know is that these two types are primarily concerned with psychic energy (where people get their vitality from) rather than just a way of describing if someone is outgoing or shy. An introvert’s psychic energy is internally focused, whereas an extrovert’s psychic energy is externally directed.

Thus, an extroverted person gets energy from external stimulation, from being around other people and having a large social network. They tend to think out loud, enjoy variety and seek broad experience. They like being the centre of attention.

By contrast, an introverted person dislikes being the centre of attention. They get energy from having less external stimulation and will often withdraw from social interaction to reflect and recharge. They tend towards fewer, deeper relationships, think before speaking and tend towards developing deep knowledge rather than broader experience.

These two attitudes are foundational to the other personality types that Jung identified.

Jung’s Four Functional Personality Types

Jung divided his four functional types into the ‘rational’ aspects of thinking and feeling (reflecting preference as to how people make judgements), and the ‘irrational’ elements of sensation and intuition (regarding preferences in how people perceive the world).

By this typology, the thinker tends to be objective and analytic, whereas the feeler is more subjective and gives more weight to emotions. Those who predominantly rely on sensation tend to be practical and look to real-world solutions in the here and now. Someone who is more intuitive tends to use their imagination and speculate about the future.

By adding these four functions to the base personality types (introverted or extroverted), one can extrapolate sixteen personality types. For example, an introvert can be linked to thinking or feeling, sensation or intuition (creating eight types) and similarly again from extroverts. Thus, you might have an Extraverted Thinking Intuition ET(N) type or an Introverted Feeling Sensation IF(S) type. These sixteen personality types are the basis of the Myers-Briggs profiles.

The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) Tool

The MBTI model was developed by Isabel Briggs Myers, alongside her mother Katherine Briggs, and sought to apply Jung’s theories to understanding behaviour, not just abnormal behaviour, or psychiatric disorders. Thus, the tool aims to identify and clarify individual behavioural preferences in everyday life.

When I first used the tool, I found it helpful in this manner. It introduced me to the psychology of personality. It also helped me to better clarify my own preferences and better understand my strengths and weaknesses.

In my experience, anything that helps us understand ourselves and others better is a good thing. And to that degree, I think MBTI can be useful. However, I soon found some limitations with the methodology.

Can you have a specific personality type if the results differ?

The first problem I encountered was that when I did the test again, I got a different result. And then again, the next time. From further tests, and from analysing my results, I found that I sat on the cusp of four different personality types.

For example, I sit at the threshold between introverted and extroverted. I prefer to withdraw to quiet spaces to recharge my energy and I primarily process internally. But, much of my work is done in a social context and I enjoy variety. But this means that I often get seemingly contradictory results in MBTI tests.

Therefore, it was hard to say I was an exact type, as I did not sit neatly into one of the 16 categories. I found that it was hard to define exactly what my personality was, if hard boundaries were enforced between the profiles.

The problem with putting people into boxes

This leads to the second problem I have with MBTI: at a philosophical level, I don’t like the way it puts people into boxes.

At first, I didn’t like this on an intuitive level but as I researched more of the psychology of personality this was backed up by not liking this on an empirical level. The increasing evidence is that personality can (and does) change over time. Therefore, it is not helpful to think about ourselves as a fixed ‘type’.

This philosophical divergence is linked to my belief in one’s ability to change. My roles, both as a leader and as a coach revolve around change. Leaders seek to bring about change, a vision of a better future. Coaches help to facilitate change by helping individuals think more clearly, to achieve goals or change behaviours.

Bringing about individual evolution is about shifting behaviours and this is hard to do if people have a fixed idea about who they are. The ability to change, at an individual level, is fundamental to the idea of having a growth mindset. The same is true for building better habits. As James Clear highlights in his book Atomic Habits,

“It’s hard to change your habits if you never change the underlying beliefs that led to your past behaviour. You have a new goal and a new plan, but you haven’t changed who you are.”

Therefore, it is important to avoid beliefs that fix us to the idea that we must behave in a certain way. It is a wrong assumption to believe we cannot change just because we are constrained by personality type. Personality is just one factor, and though it might evolve slowly, it is not static.

Do you have a personality type or just preferences depending upon certain traits?

Carl Jung changed the way we understand personality today, particularly with his introduction of the concepts of introversion and extroversion. But we must be careful not to see ourselves as fixed types. And therein lies the fundamental problem with the Myers-Briggs interpretation of Jung’s psychology. It is too easy to see ourselves defined by a specific personality type.

If we want to be better, to improve ourselves, then we should seek to understand our preferences but not be restricted by them. We should identify and play to our strengths, but not consider that we are fixed in our character and behaviour. Don’t put yourself in a box.

“Know thyself” – Socrates

So, the next time you do a personality test, don’t let that constrain your thinking of who you are. Use it as helpful data to better understand yourself, not a judgment to be constrained by.

And if you want to do a personality test then I recommend the Big 5 (OCEAN) model rather than MBTI (and no, I am not paid to say that or earn money from Big 5 psychometric tests!). I recommend the Big 5 as it is now the preferred standard test of most psychologists and has better scientific backing, but more about that in my next article.

The ‘why’ represents our values.  Our values are part of our identity; they are the things we love, the ideals we prioritise.  They are central things that define why we have a certain vision, why we do the things we do, why we attract or are attracted to certain people. I often think values as being summed up by 3 Ps; our:

• Principles
• Passions and
• Priorities

Values shape our beliefs, our worldview and the paradigm that we operate from. These are often things we hold in common with others at one level, but the particular combination and application of the values make them unique to us as an individual or specific organisation.

“I’d asked around 10 or 15 people for suggestions. Finally one lady friend asked the right question, ‘Well, what do you love most?’ That’s how I started painting for money.” 

Andy Warhol

Should we ask the question ‘why?’

People often avoid asking ‘why’ questions because they can elicit an emotional response. They can make people defensive, or make the questioner appear judgemental. But if we fail to ask ‘why’ questions of ourselves we can really miss a trick.  If, or rather when, things get tough people do start to ask ‘why’ questions. We need to make sure we have some answers before then, particularly if you are a leader.  Let’s face it; things will inevitably get difficult at some point on our journey.  In challenging times we need to understand the deep things that motivate us towards a vision or mission.  It is much better to get those ideals clear ahead of time rather than having to discover them in a time of crisis.

When it comes to why questions we can learn from young children, as they are very good at asking the question ‘why?’  They will often keep asking why until they get a satisfactory answer; children are hard to fool! You can tell when children are following this line of questioning as there are usually accompanied by a red-faced adult who is becoming increasingly irate! The parent’s frustration grows as they start to run out of responses and realise that perhaps they do not actually know the answer themselves.  As adults, it seems we are much better at fooling ourselves and settling for a more superficial answer to a why question.

Simon Sinek identified the importance of asking why in his book Start with why. He argues that people who know their ‘why’ are the ones who lead and inspire others. Therefore we need to ask why, but we can also choose to construct our why questions in such a way that is less confrontational. For example, asking someone ‘what motivates you?’ is often better than ‘why are you doing that?’

“People don’t buy what you do; they buy why you do it. And what you do simply proves what you believe”

Simon Sinek

The 5 Whys

Asking why several times over and applying the why to each subsequent answer can help us dig down to the motivational root of an issue.

I was out running one day and spotted someone fishing by a riverbank. Apart from eating the fish, I had never really understood the allure of fishing, so I asked them why they enjoyed it.  Their first answer was because they enjoyed being outdoors.  Instead of asking directly ‘why’ again, I said: “that’s interesting, I love being outdoors too, what particularly do you like about it?” They answered that it was the only time they really slowed down and felt at peace.  When I questioned further they said that the most important thing was getting the time to reflect.  I then left them to enjoy their peace and reflection but by asking ‘why’ several times over I had gained a deeper understanding into the motivations of that person and learned that fishing was not just about catching fish!

The art of asking why in this way was used by great effect by Sakichi Toyoda who developed the ‘5 whys’ approach to problem-solving within the Toyota Motor Corporation and helped to revolutionise their manufacturing and make Toyota production far more efficient. Every system and action was analysed by asking why over and over until the primary reason was revealed and the process could be refined.

Reflection question:

• Which work processes could you do this for? Choose a process that you follow and ask why you do it. Keep asking why until you get the real reason for the existence of the process. Once you know the answer, consider, how could this be done better?

Revealing our values

So we need to look at why we do things and ask ‘why’ of ourselves many times over.  Then, as we delve into our answers we begin to see our principles and values revealed.

As we go through this process we will soon see that there are actually many things that we value or that we would agree are good principles.  The key here is working out what are the things that you value the most.  For example, you could say that you value making new friends as well as maintaining long-standing relationships. But, if in looking at both these activities you see that you spend a lot more time on one than the other, then arguably that is the one you value the most.  Equally, you could say that you value two worthy charities. But again, the one you give the most money to would probably give a good indication of where your priorities lie.

These are simple examples but the principle applies even to more abstract concepts.  Loyalty and integrity are both excellent things to value. It might require some careful thought working out which one you prioritise most, but it can be done. There are further exercises in the posts and links below to help you.

Identifying core values

You will probably start with quite a long list but it is a worthwhile exercise to drill down to a list of 4-6 core values for yourself or your organisation. Any more than that and it becomes harder to see how your values differentiate you from other people.  If you are an organisation trying to discover, agree and instil values into your workforce it is also hard for people to remember many more than this!

Then, of this shortlist, identify your top two. Brené Brown (author of Dare to Lead) has done a lot of research that backs up the importance of knowing your top values and priorities.

Refining the expression of your core values

As you hone down to your core values it can also be useful to use adjectives to really help capture the particular nature of a value.  So, for example, you might value of community, but what sort of community?  Is it close community, global community, fun community, caring community, inclusive community, or diverse community you are thinking about?  Adding the right adjective moves you closer to your unique perspective and combination of values.

There are further exercises and advice on how to identify and refine your values in the post What are your personal values?

The importance of values

The process of exploring your values is one worth spending time on. Values are at least as essential as the discovery of our vision and mission. Don’t worry about getting them perfectly captured, especially on a first try. Even our values evolve over time so think of this as a cyclical process, as with other decision making approaches. Do some thinking, record or communicate your thoughts, and then return to reflect on them again regularly in the future.

Once we have identified our values we may not always need to refer to them all the time but they are always there steering us, even if it is just at a subconscious level.

When I was in the Alps for the first time I had a particular dream in mind: a dream of standing on the summit of Mont Blanc.  Success was therefore easy to define; my aim was to get to the top of Mont Blanc and back safely.  Most of the time the vision was there to see, as Mont Blanc loomed large above me. The mission was also clear when I looked at the route on the map.  But, as I climbed higher up and the cloud started to roll in, I could no longer see the mountain clearly.  I could see the route on the map but I could not relate it to the ground.  It was at this point that I had to rely on my compass and altimeter to keep me on the right track.

Values are like a compass; they help us keep on track even when the route to achieving our dream is unclear or the mission is challenged.  Values are therefore invaluable.

“He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.“

Friedrich Nietzsche

Reflection question:

• Once you have identified them, what can you do to keep your values in mind?

One thing I do is to have my personal values and vision at the top of my to-do list. My list of tasks is organised by role and having my values at the top helps me to weigh my priorities correctly.

If you want to read more about values then check out why things we value define our personal identity.