Who can best help you achieve your goals? Which person can guide you to where you need to go? Who can help you develop beyond what you can accomplish on your own?

The mountain guide

A wide snow-covered glacier flowed down the mountain in front of me. It was a tableau of almost pure white, only blemished by the occasional blue-grey streaks that hinted at crevasses. It did not look like a ski run. There was no piste, no markers, no other skiers. A single cable car had taken us to the top, and that was the only thing indicating this was a ski area.

We were in La Grave in the French Alps, a mecca for off-piste snow sports. I was with Chris, a mountain guide. He was helping me achieve my dream of making some first ski ascents and descents of mountains in Greenland. But we both knew that before I got anywhere near Greenland, I needed to build my ski touring skills and my ability to negotiate glaciers.

How on earth do we get down there? That was the unspoken question in my mind. There were no tracks, let alone coloured runs to follow. Chris looked over, smiled and coolly said, “Just follow my line, and if I stop, then halt above me.” There was no chance to reply, let alone question this statement, as he had already set off, making his first turn in the virgin powder.

I took a deep breath, told myself, “Just do as he said” and then turned into Chris’ tracks. As I started to move and focussed on pursuing Chris down the hill, my anxiety subsided.

I had faith in Chris. His qualifications, experience and visible competence all inspired trust, but what’s more he had a character of contagious calm. So, I followed.

By the time I was at the bottom of the glacier, my confidence had reached new levels. Hell! I had just skied down a glacier; I could do anything!

As we mounted the lift to take us up again Chris said, “Right, now it’s your turn to lead.” My self-assurance melted faster than the snow on my boots. Chris smiled and added, “I will be right behind you.”

What is a guide or life coach and what do they do?

A good guide or coach does many things. As illustrated in my story, a guide can lead the way and provide instruction. Similarly, a coach helps people towards their goals and helps them to push their boundaries.

The role of the guide was introduced in the last section. In The Right Questions Framework, the context of a guide is similar to that of expeditions. A guide is an experienced practitioner who can lead, instruct and coach people to assist them in reaching their destination. Similarly, a life coach helps someone improve their life, often through supporting them in progressing towards specific targets.

I love adventure and am a qualified mountain leader and a certified coach. Therefore, it is no surprise that I see the roles as complementary and largely synonymous. Both a guide and coach support people in getting where they want to go. Returning to the beginning of The Right Questions Framework, and the analogy of life as a journey, we can see how these roles interplay.

What is a mentor (or sage)?

At this point, it is worth clarifying the difference between the roles of a coach (or guide) and that of a mentor (what we referred to as a Sage in the last section).

A mentor is usually someone who has more seniority and experience within a specific field, shared with the person being mentored. For example, a more senior business person might mentor a more junior manager, within a given industry. It is therefore a narrower focus than that of coaching. The roles are different but complementary. In my experience, it is good to have both.

This outlines the differences in simple terms but, if interested, you can read a more detailed account in my article What is the Difference Between Coaching and Mentoring?

Who needs a life coach or guide?

Anyone can benefit from a coach or guide. Unfortunately for me, it took me a long time to appreciate this. In my mountaineering, for many years I avoided the services of a mountain guide, choosing to learn things on my own, or muddling through with similarly inexperienced friends. I did improve, but slowly, and I picked up some bad habits.

Equally, in my professional life, it was many years before I had my own coach or mentor. I made progress but struggled to achieve my larger goals. Ironically, one of these goals was to become a professional executive coach, and it was not until I employed my own coach that I successfully made the transition.

Therefore, a coach or guide is for anyone who wants to accelerate their progression and improve their chances of success. If you want evidence for this, then I recommend watching the excellent TED talk by Atul Gawande, who provides compelling evidence for the effectiveness of coaching.

“Coaching helps you take stock of where you are now in all aspects of your life, and how that compares to where you would like to be.” Elaine MacDonald

How does a coaching relationship work and how should coaching be conducted?

Coaching can take many forms, but most life coaching is structured around regular sessions. These are usually about 30-90 minutes long, either one-to-one or in small groups. They can be in-person or online.

A coach leads the coachee but mostly in a non-directive manner. In other words, a coach doesn’t tell someone what to do; they ask questions, listen, and probe assumptions. This creates a good thinking environment and allows the person being coached to come up with their own solutions.

How to choose a life coach or guide

When finding someone who can be your guide or life coach there are various things to consider. First and foremost, picking a coach is choosing a key member of your team. It is an important relationship and therefore I recommend thinking through the 4 Cs of:

• Character
• Competence
• Chemistry
• Confidentiality

Character – picking someone you respect

Character is perhaps the most important thing. If you want someone to be your guide or coach, you want them to be a person who you can trust and respect.

Competence – certification, qualification and experience

Secondly, you want someone who is competent. This is usually a mixture of qualifications, skills and experience. Most coaches have certification to one of the larger professional coaching bodies such as the Association of Coaching or International Coaching Federation.

For example, as well as having over a decade of experience in life and executive coaching, I studied Coaching and Mentoring at Warwick University and am a Member of the Association of Coaching.

Chemistry – making sure the relationship works

Relationships are easier if there is chemistry. It’s a fact of life that there are some people we naturally get along with. This is not essential in this type of relationship – as a guide or coach is there to challenge us – but it does make things more enjoyable.

Confidentiality – ensuring trust and openness

Confidentiality is essential in a coaching relationship. When being coached we need to know that the person we are talking to is not going to share any details of what is discussed, or at least not without prior consent. There are of course a few exceptions to this rule (for example if a coachee shared something illegal or potentially harmful) but in the main, what is discussed between a coach and coachee stays just between them.

Other factors to consider

There are other things to consider such as proximity to the coach (if you want to meet in person), the affordability of the sessions and the particular approach that the coach favours, but in my experience the 4Cs are the priority factors for a successful coaching relationship.

“Each person holds so much power within themselves that needs to be let out. Sometimes they just need a little nudge, a little direction, a little support, a little coaching, and the greatest things can happen.” – Pete Carroll

Master the tool: finding a life coach and guide for your goals

It is no surprise that I recommend finding a personal guide or life coach. It is down to my experience. I am a highly motivated person but I have only been able to achieve my biggest goals and truly achieve my maximum potential with the assistance of a coach.

Even though life coaching and sports coaching are different in some respects, it is worth remembering that no one expects an athlete to compete at the top level without coaching. The same goes for our work, our lives, our dreams. If we want to achieve our maximum, we need help. That is why now – even though I am a qualified coach – I still have an executive coach and a mentor.

Therefore, take some time now to think about who could coach you. Follow these steps:

1. First, specify the key thing you want to be coached in. The skill you want to develop or the goal you want to achieve will affect who you might choose. Even though coaching is a generalist skill, there are coaches and trainers who specialise in certain areas (for example human performance, leadership, communication etc).
2. Think about who you can think of who exemplifies what you want to achieve. Who is the world’s best or leading authority? Could they help?
3. Who in your network could either help directly or make coach/guide recommendations?
4. Use the 4Cs to make a list of questions or guidelines that you can use to narrow your search and focus your discussion with any potential coach.
5. Make some introductions to some coaches, either from the ones you have already come up with or any others you find with further research. Aim for at least three and then assess them against the 4Cs.

And, if you are interested in finding out more about the coaching I offer, be that life coaching, executive coaching or leadership coaching, send me a message via the contact page. I look forward to hearing from you.