Start with Why (How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action) is the title of Simon Sinek’s book, website and TED talk.

Simon Sinek focusses on the fact that for a team to operate effectively everyone needs to be motivated and to feel that they belong.  This is the reason leaders need to start with the ‘why’, in other words the purpose, values and inspiration behind any business or project.  People are more productive and engaged if they want to do something rather than because they have to do something.

For a customer or client the ‘why’ is also more compelling and alluring as Simon points out in his example about Apple computers.  The ‘what’ would express:

The ‘why’ is therefore the reason and the belief. The ‘how’ and the ‘what’ are the results that confirm that you are holding fast to these values.

If you want to find out more I recommend that you check out his TED talk here:

If you like that and want more then you will love his book.  Check it out by clicking on the link here:

 

You may notice that Simon Sinek has a slightly different approach to applying the words ‘why’, ‘how’ and ‘what’ to that in The Right Questions, which is of course totally fine!  Actually you should see that when you get beyond the definitions the key lessons between the Start with Why methodology and The Right Questions are actually broadly the same and I would agree that overall our actions and decisions are based on our values therefore it is incredible important to understand our ‘why’ before we get into the planning and doing stages.

“Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.” Proverbs 16:18 (KJV)

The idea of ‘pride going before a fall’ is one of the best known quotes (or misquotes) from the Bible and never is the saying more true than in the context of leadership. The new Star Wars film, provides some interesting lessons regarding haughtiness and in this post we will examine three characters from The Last Jedi who suffered consequences from pride effecting their leadership.

Beware! Spoiler alert! This post discusses plot detail from the new Star Wars film, The Last Jedi.

The Tirant: Snoke

The Supreme Leader of the First Order is the terrifying Snoke, a Master of the Dark Side and someone who built their power base on fear.

History clearly demonstrates that fear is a powerful tool to control people and has been used many times by leaders to consolidate and hold onto power. But fear does not set the foundation for lasting success or a positive legacy. Fear is a powerful short-term motivator but people will take the opportunity to be free of fear given the opportunity, and empires built on fear will eventually fall. Absolute power corrupts absolutely and fear is a poor leadership strategy.

A climate of fear creates an atmosphere where those surrounding the leader cannot speak the truth – especially when sharing bad news – as they want to avoid becoming the object of wrath. This lack of honesty can result in a leader becoming overconfident and for them to look down and underappreciate those around them. It makes the person at the top believe in their own myth of infallibility and makes them blind to genuine threats, both to them and their organisation.

It was this hubris, blindness and condescension that led to Snoke’s downfall. He misjudged Kylo Ren and could not see the threat from Kylo Ren when Snoke believed he was totally under his influence.

Leadership top tip:

If you are prefer a leader who prefers a more directive approach, make sure you have people around you who are empowered to give you feedback, however challenging it may be.

Movie recommendations:

Downfall (2004) and The Death of Stalin (2017) are two other powerful stories that illustrate the paranoia and eventual demise of regimes that are led through fear.

The Maverick – Poe Dameron

Poe Dameron is a self-confident fighter pilot who is most comfortable when leading from the front and taking action. He is a talented tactical commander with a reputation for courageous deeds. His attitude is best summed up when he asks General Leia Organa for “permission to jump into an X-wing and blow something up.”

This focus on direct and immediate effect means Poe is a great tactical leader but often lacks the vision for longer-term strategy. His head-strong pursuing of tactical gains, against orders, leads to a demotion early on in the film. Poe also feels entitled to know the plans of his superiors and his strong opinions soon create friction with his new commander. His superior, Vice Admiral Holdo, is a different type of leader both in appearance (as Poe comments upon) and style, and this creates further distance and misunderstanding.

Poe has the best of intentions but allows his errors of judgement to compound. He makes some very risky decisions that result in division among the Rebels and internal conflict during a time of crisis. Heroic and daring as he is, his plans fail and it is late in the day before he understands his commander’s intent and value. It is a costly path he treads to learn more self-awareness and humility.

Leadership Top Tips:

To be a good leader you also have to be a good follower; it is important to be loyal to those that lead you and learn from them. You may have much to contribute but as Steven Covey says, “seek first to understand, then to be understood.” If you like to lead from the front make sure you take time to step back regularly and see the bigger picture.

Movie recommendations:

For more maverick fighter pilots who need some humility you don’t need to look any further than Top Gun (1986). Patton (1970) is a good case study of a strong willed commander, with excellent tactical ability, who had a character that made him divisive.

The Mentor – Luke Skywalker

At the beginning of the film Rey has finally found Luke Skywalker on a remote island, on an even remoter planet, where he has been hiding away. Luke has been in retreat ever since he failed as a leader and this disaster meant Luke cut himself off from the Force.

Luke feared failing again. He could see the vanity that had come from believing in his own legend. He had seen the fallout of his arrogance but the lesson he took from this was that he should never lead again. He thought he was disqualified by his mistakes.

Fear is poor leadership tool and it is an equally poor driver when it comes to making decisions. When we make decisions from poor assumptions or defeater beliefs we rob ourselves (and potentially others) of positive ways to progress.

Luke is a Jedi Master, but it takes his own mentor, Yoda, to help Luke to put his past mistakes into context. Yoda eloquently states, “The greatest teacher, failure is”. In other words we should learn from our errors in order to be a better leader.

Rey is the other person that helps Luke to reassess his position. She demonstrates the need and desire for Luke’s leadership, despite what has happened in the past.

When Luke accepts the past, brutal as it is, with peace and forgiveness, then he ignites a new resolve and is able to bring leadership in a new, dramatic and incisive way.

Leadership Top Tips:

Even when we are experienced leaders we still need mentors and coaches of our own. We should always be open to learning and that means learning and gaining inspiration from those who look to us as their teachers as well.

Movie recommendations:

Aragorn in The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003) has to face and overcome the fear of his heritage in order to fulfil his destiny.

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And hello to Jason Isaacs!

When was the last time you failed as a leader? How long ago was it; weeks, days, (hours)? I certainly don’t have to think very far back to find failure.

I was listening to Brené Brown’s excellent book ‘Dare to Lead’ and thought I would take a few minutes to pause and reflect on when my practice of leadership has not lived up to my theoretical ideal. Within minutes I had a scary number of examples. So, in the spirit of writing what you need to read, here as some of my failures.

I have led in various professional contexts for more decades than I care to mention. My experiences as a leader have been some of the most rewarding and enriching in my life, but my time as a leader is also littered with mistakes.

If you want to be a leader, get used to failure! Let me amend that: As a leader get used to failure, and get good at learning from it.

Failing to achieve a task is one thing but I have also frequently failed to maintain my own standards and values. These are the most painful failures of all. So I thought I would start there in terms of sharing.

I have failed through anger, shame, faking it, lack of courage and basically trying to be something I am not. Insecurity has haunted me, in one form or another, the whole time.

So, I’m here to air my dirty washing (that’s what you are waiting for right?) I have started with some from earlier in life and progressed (or regressed) from there. My genuine hope is that by sharing this you can learn from my mistakes and avoid a few yourself. And, if you can’t avoid the mistakes, hopefully we can just learn better together.

“It’s fine to celebrate success but it’s more important to heed the lessons of failure”

Bill Gates

Failure to develop others

Were you in Scouts or Guides when you were younger? I loved being in the Scouts (the Guides would not have me) and it gave me one of my earliest opportunities to lead. As a Cub Scout I rose to the lofty height of ‘Sixer’ with responsibility to lead our team of six (or so) fellow cubs.

So how did I do this? My memories are that my main leadership technique at the time involved the threat of violence. Shocking I know, on so many different levels!

And when I think back I simply ask myself, why on earth did I pick such an approach?

I was not big or strong. Violence was certainly not the approach taken by the leaders and role models around me. Thinking back I have to put it down to my own insecurity. For one reason or another I wanted to appear strong, to be something I was not; so I used the little strength I had in the wrong way. I used it to instil fear, rather than to protect.

I got compliance, but I missed out on the opportunity to create an environment where people felt safe to grow and learn. So much of leadership is about seeing the potential in others and creating the space for them to reach that potential. That is how I should have used my strength.

Failure to discipline others

Anyone else have a position of responsibility at school? One of other early opportunities I had to lead and to learn was as a prefect. In my final year of school, before university, I was one of the top tier prefects with the power to discipline (or punish) fellow pupils. What could possibly go wrong!

There was one particular group of boys in the year below mine who were always giving me (and others) trouble. One day they were walking along with their hands in their pockets, which at that school was practically a capital offence. Yes, it was a strict school. I said something, probably not in the most graceful manner, and I got a less than graceful reply.

I immediately told the group that they would receive a punishment, to be done later that day, which involved re-painting some school equipment.

The punishment did not really fit the crime. There was no real benefit from it for anyone – it wasted all our time. In my eagerness to punish I also did not properly set them up to do the job so I failed in my delegation of the task too.

Looking back I realise that I should not have punished them, I should have disciplined them. And there lies the subtle difference.

I could have done something clever such as tasking them to do the prefect job and for them to have responsibility to set the standards. I could have worked alongside them, setting an example and maybe even winning them around.

A lost opportunity but a lesson learned, by me at least. Discipline and punishment are not necessarily the same. Punishment often happens out of anger and the desire for retribution. Instead, a good leader disciplines people. Not only to maintain standards, but also to help people to develop in character and be disciplined by themselves. I think it took me becoming a parent to truly understand the need to discipline out of love.

Failure to practice what I preach

I have always enjoyed adventurous activities and alongside my more corporate roles I have worked as an expedition leader and outdoor instructor.

One time I was with some friends and instructing them in rock climbing. I was known for being the ‘outdoor guy’ and so was happy to show off my skills. As they were my friends I took a casual approach and did not think to prepare the session or work through what I was going to teach.

Realising I needed to do some basic rope work before we started ascending I decided to demonstrate how to secure yourself to the rock. I did not go through the procedure properly, I just casually clipped in, not paying attention to what I was connecting to and the next second I was falling off the rock and bouncing off the boulders below.

Fortunately it was not a big fall and, apart from a few bruises, the biggest damage was to my pride. All my friends were having a good laugh at my expense.

It is easy to cut corners and tell people to ‘do what I say not what I do’ but in the end this catches you out. I have always aspired to be someone of integrity who ‘walks the talk’ but this is just one case of how I failed to live up to my own standards. I have learned that you can’t take on the role of leader without taking on the responsibility too, even if you are taking the lead among friends or in a more informal setting.

Failure to take criticism

At the start of my professional career I was an Officer in the British Army. My first role was as a Bomb Disposal Officer in the Royal Engineers.

This of course is a fact that I am very proud to share. What I am less proud to share is that I failed one part of my bomb disposal course.

As well as all the theory, to get qualified, we had to conduct bomb disposal tasks under exercise conditions with non-explosive ordnance. We took it in turns to take the lead and after completing a task the instructors would de-brief us on our performance.

I failed on my first task, mainly due to the actions of one of my team members who was under my command. I was told in the de-briefing that I had failed due to my lack of leadership.

That really stung, especially as the instructor for my task happened to be of a more junior rank than me. I was fuming that this person could critique my leadership when I had obviously had more training and practice in leading than they had!

The anger and resentment I felt was carried into further tasks and I ended up failing and having to re-take that aspect of the course.

I have always been sensitive to criticism but I hope I have a more mature way of dealing with it now. Looking back the instructor was not saying I could not lead, just that I could – and should – have led better in that situation. We may have had different preferred styles of leadership but in the end they were right, and even if they weren’t, I should have responded better to the criticism. I acted petulantly and in the end the only person it really hurt was myself.

You need correct data to make effective decisions. The same is true for improving ourselves; we have to get honest feedback if we are going to know how to change for the better. As leaders we must genuinely seek constructive criticism and reflect on how we can do better.

Failure to reflect

To lead requires courage: courage to go, to fail, to learn and to go again.

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”

Winston Churchill

If you do not take the time to reflect and learn you are at risk of making the same mistakes. Then, even if we do keep going, we do so at the risk of not achieving our goal or failing the members of our team, and ourselves.

Through much of my time in leadership I have failed to properly reflect and learn from my failures. But I am getting better at it, slowly. The process of writing has really improved this discipline for me.

So, if you are a leader too – in whatever context – I would encourage you to write. Capture some thoughts on what and how you have done; whether it is a private journal, a slightly less private blog, or writing an article like this for the whole world to see!

When I started drafting this I had a long list of examples and I have only expanded on the first few. There are many more! If this post is helpful then I am very happy to continue on and share some more experiences so do let me know.

It was my pleasure this week to speak to around 40 CEOs, founders of charities and other socially driven organisations, about leading in crisis. Everyone present was grappling with maintaining essential services in the light of COVID-19. The question we were discussing was:

“How do I help myself and my senior colleagues cope and prepare the organisation for what’s to come?”

Leading in crisis and making decisions under pressure are areas of real interest to me, particularly as I started my career as a Bomb Disposal Officer in the British Army and have subsequently led teams on operations around the world.

That experience has been formative in developing the planning and decision making approaches that I have used in further jobs within the commercial, charity and public sector. As well as continuing to have leadership responsibilities within various organisations, I now seek to share the knowledge I have through my work as a leadership coach and strategy consultant.

With government responses to COVID-19 resembling a wartime mentality, the immediate picture that comes to my mind is the poster ‘Keep calm and carry on’ and this theme prompted me to think of how we should ‘be’ in a crisis, particularly as a leader.

So here are ten things to think about that hopefully will be an encouragement to you and your team, particularly in this time of rapid change and uncertainty.

1. Be the best leader you can be

Good leadership is always important, but it is critical in a time of crisis. People will look for direction.

But this is not just for those who have ‘leader’ or ‘executive’ in our titles. Leadership is needed at every level and from everyone, to some degree. For example, some people will have to take on further responsibility as events stress existing structures or team members become ill. Equally, as teams are dispersed and communications strained, people need to be empowered to take the initiative and lead in their spheres of influence, even if that is just leading themselves effectively, having a good routine and remaining productive.

Therefore everyone should be ready to step up. As a leader, encourage your team to step up and empower them to do so.

You never know when you might have to take responsibility. I once had a situation when climbing in Alps, in a party of four, where someone else had been leading our team up a route. As we summited the mountain the weather changed and we found ourselves in the middle of a thunderstorm. As lightening started to strike the peaks around us the person who had been leading the team was tired and became uncertain and I realised that I had energy and a plan, and therefore it was now an opportunity for me to step up and lead the team to safety.

We often think of leadership as a position but it actually more of a role. At different times we are called on to lead, no matter what our title. One of the key functions of a leader is developing the people around them, so here is an opportunity. Have a think; who around you can help and take on more leadership responsibility?

2. Be the calm

In the words of the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy: Don’t panic!

A crisis can throw us off balance, particularly if we have been dropped into a situation with new responsibilities. We can quickly feel way out of our depth. At those times start small and try to create calm in yourself so you can pass that to others. At times like these I remember the advice of Winston Churchill from his time leading in the trenches during the First World War:

“War is a game that is played with a smile. If you can’t smile, grin. If you can’t grin, keep out of the way till you can.”

Winston Churchill

Work on the smile but then aspire to do more than that; don’t just be calm, be the calm. Create the right atmosphere. Composing yourself and exuding calm will have a massively positive effect on those around you. Think about what people want of a leader in times of trouble. Be certainty in chaos. Be clarity in uncertainty. Be calm in the storm.

Fear is infectious. The panic buying of loo roll during the COVID-19 outbreak is a classic example of this. It defies logic. As a leader, your psychological state will have a massive effect on those around you. Find techniques to help you find that calm on a daily basis.

A couple of things that really help me are going for walks and writing notes or a journal. You can read further tips on these here:

The surprising power of going for a walk

Why journaling is important and how to start writing a journal

There are loads of other approaches you can use, from breathing techniques to mindfulness or talking regularly to a person you trust (yes, lean on your coach or mentor). Experiment and find out what works best for you.

3. Be a strategist

A strategy is a coherent approach to overcoming a challenge. You need an effective overarching strategy within which the detailed planning can be worked out.

For example the UK government strategy for COVID 19 is: CONTAIN, DELAY, RESEARCH, MITIGATE – very simple on the surface but with lots of complexity below that.

What is the strategy for how you are dealing with the crisis?

If you are wanting to develop a strategy you will need to do some good thinking and answer some key questions. There are lots of approaches to developing strategies and plans, and having a process to help you think coherently can be really useful. You may well already have systems or processes in your organisation but if not then I have developed a simple system dubbed ‘The Right Questions’ that can help you. You can read more about this here;

4. Be flexible

There is a military saying that “no plan survives contact with the enemy” meaning that no matter how well you plan, there will also be circumstances outside your control and outcomes that you wont be able to foresee.

Therefore have a plan but remain flexible. Make sure your strategy is robust so that you can adjust the detail below it. The thinking that goes into the planning is at least as important as the plan itself, which leads onto another famous military saying:

“The importance is in the planning, not the plan.”

General

5. Be a decision maker.

I used to think that making good decisions was all about having a good process. I now know that having a good decision making process is important, but the most important thing is knowing your values. That is because is it essentially our values that drive our actions and behaviours, our conscious and unconscious decisions.

Times of crisis are times when our values are truly tested. When people feel insecure or threatened, their deepest priorities and ideals are laid bare. How are you and your team holding up? If you are seeing behaviours in yourself or your team that do not reflect your stated values then there is either something wrong with your actions or you have not correctly identified your core values.

Your values encompass your principles, priorities and passions. Once identified, it is best to communicate values as verbs or actions. Simon Sinek highlights this idea in his book ‘Start with Why’. He notes that if the value is ‘integrity’ then the behaviour is ‘doing the right thing’. Similarly the value of ‘innovation’ could be stated as ‘looking at a problem from a different angle’.

With values correctly articulated you can start to then build out your processes – your decision criteria, routines and protocols. Ray Dalio, founder of Bridgewater and author of Principles has perhaps gone the furthest, as a leader and with his organisation, in systematically laying out his values and connecting his processes to them. If you have not read Principles then I highly recommend it.

6. Be a delegator

As a leader you cannot do everything or make every decision, particularly when the situation is fast moving. Therefore it is vital to give the key direction (strategy) and planning principles so that decision making can cascade down.

In the military this concept is called ‘mission command’. The commander emphasises the specific mission to subordinates, communicates the desired end state and specifies any key tasks and constraints. Once this is done this allows the detailed planning and management of tasks to happen at the appropriate level.

As a starting point, as well as communicating our overall strategy, we can all make sure that we delegate effectively by using simple approaches such as the SMART tasks format, developed by George T Doran. You can read more about this tool with the following link:

7. Be a communicator

In a crisis people want direction. Therefore communicate clear and frequently but also be succinct.  There is a balance to strike too. Even in normal times we can be drowning in information so if you over communicate then people may miss the key message you wish to convey.

Even if you don’t have much to say, still communicate on a regular basis, be honest about what you don’t know but also be positive and encouraging. As we know in our personal lives, we don’t always want or need the answers, but we do want to feel supported and know that people care. Good messaging provides this assurance.

The COVID outbreak is forcing us to work and communicate in new ways. Here is an opportunity to find out what works best. Get suggestions from your team on how to communicate (think beyond email) and get feedback on your content. You can then refine your communication accordingly.

Be creative and play to your strengths. Do you prefer speaking in person? Try recording a short video to share. Do you prefer something written? Craft something succinct that can be disseminated widely and easily shared on multiple platforms.

8. Be open to opportunity

It sounds counterintuitive, or maybe even crass, but don’t waste a good crisis. Any time of change brings opportunity and a crisis is a time of rapid, significant change.

As mentioned in the section on communication, a crisis forces changes in our work practice. This is an opportunity for innovation, for delegation, and new forms of collaboration. Even those once seen as competitors may become colleagues. If ‘my enemy’s enemy is my friend’ then this is certainly the case with the COVID response. We are all in this together.

The SWOT Analysis is probably the best know tool for quickly and effectively doing some situational analysis. In the SWOT tool you consider your personal or organisational Strengths and Weaknesses (internal factors) as well as Opportunities and Threats (external factors). The reason why this is so effective is that these factors often mirror one another and by looking at the negatives you can gain insight into the positives. If you want to find out more about using the SWOT approach then you can use the link below:

How to do a SWOT Analysis

9. Be resilient

Another military phrase for you: “Always have a reserve.”

That holds true, be that In regard to money, supplies, people or your own personal energy supplies. If you are continuously running close to 100% on these things (and we can often be way beyond 100% when finance is involved) then you put yourself at risk when a crisis strikes.

You have to work out the right level of reserves to provide resilience in your organisation for each of these things but as a leader, resilience starts with you.

Here, a little bit of self-care can go a long way. Getting enough sleep, eating healthily and getting some exercise. And of all of these sleep is the most important, as it underpins our wellbeing. If you think you can get away with less than 7 hours sleep a night for long periods then I recommend you read ‘Why we sleep’ by Matthew Walker.

I like to visual these aspects of my life, along with relationships and other things that feed into my wellbeing, as a dashboard where I monitor levels.

Which gauges are on your dashboard and which ones are in the red?

Don’t let yourself burn out. I have been there and learnt lessons the hard way. You can read more of my lessons on this subject via the link below:

The truth about work-life balance

10. Be reflective

Finally, be reflective. In a fast moving situation you have to speed up your decision making cycle (think OODA loop) learn quickly from your mistakes, and make changes. That means taking the time to pause and reflect long enough to identify problems and implement improvements.

There will of course be time after the event for further reflection too. When a crisis dies down it is very easy to breathe a sigh of relief and then just get back to how things were before. We can all soon be consumed in busyness and lessons can be lost.

Therefore be proactive. Find ways of recording lessons now that you can return too when things calm down. Assign someone to champion this process and think ahead to a time that can be set in the diary to review what you have learnt.

Be encouraged!

Finally, please be encouraged! Leading in a crisis is tough, but you are not alone. Keep up the good work; keep calm and carry on!

If you would like to watch the recording of the original talk I gave then you can see it on YouTube here:

How do you influence others? What make makes someone persuasive? Which skills do you need for effective negotiation?

You may not think that these questions are that important to you but consider: how many times today have you had to communicate with someone? Chances are in each of these interactions you have had to put a point across, ask someone to do something or come to an agreement on something. Simply put, this is influence, persuasion and negotiation. All three are key building blocks of effective communication.

Influencing, persuading and negotiating are therefore essential skills for everyone — not just for those in the sales, marketing or business development teams. By the way, if you are a job seeker, business owner, freelancer or self-employed you are the sales, marketing and business development team, whether you know it or not!

And this is certainly not just about the corporate sector. Whether you are an writer, actor, teacher, parent, scientist, coder, law-enforcement officer or working in the charitable sector, knowing more about influence and persuasion will make you more effective at what you do.

If you are a leader then you definitely need to hone your skills in this area. As the leadership expert John C Maxwell said:

“Leadership is not about titles, positions or flowcharts. It is about one life influencing another.”

And, by that definition we are all leaders at some level, even if we don’t hold specific leadership responsibility.

I have picked the resources that I have found most helpful, particularly in my capacity as a leadership coach. Most of these titles are already very popular and you may be familiar with some but I hope there is at least one new title or perspective you can find in the list below. Enjoy!

1. Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert B Cialdini

Want to read one book on influencing and persuading people? Start here. Influence is the classic work on persuasion by Robert Cialdini. Pretty much every other book or expert on the subject of psychology, sales and communication makes reference to Cialdini. Make yourself an expert too!

Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In by Roger Fisher and William Ury

Do you want to improve your negotiation skills? Another seminal work, Getting to Yes is all about the art of negotiation. What sets this book aside is the concept of using empathy as a starting point and aiming for ‘win-win’ rather than ‘win-lose’ outcomes. In other words, reaching an agreement that is to the benefit to all parties, rather than the traditional dynamic (particularly in sales) where one side of the negotiations is left worse off.

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R Covey

Has anyone not heard of this book? If you haven’t then you are missing a treat. For starters, it was Stephen Covey who took the concept of ‘win-win’ and moved it into modern management parlance by applying it beyond just negotiations and adopting it as a habit (the fourth habit: think ‘win-win’) for all our interactions with people. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is probably the most popular business and self-help book of all time and — even after 30 years since first being published- it remains as relevant as ever. I keep going back to this book, it is a fantastic resource, so get one if you don’t have it already.

Time to Think: Listening to Ignite the Human Mind by Nancy Kline

Do you think you are good at listening? Don’t assume so until you have read this. Active or empathetic listening is a critical skill and vital if you want to be effective in influencing a persuading people. In Time to Think Nancy Kline develops the concept of creating a ‘Thinking Environment’ and gives practical approaches and tips on truly effective listening. Her work and research have shown how this is foundational to quality thought, creativity and communication.

The Art of Strategy: A Game Theorist’s Guide to Success in Business and Life by Avinash K Dixit and Barry J Nalebuff

Scared by the concept of mathematical models? Don’t be! The Art of Strategy is an accessible introduction to Game Theory, the mathematical models and strategic psychology behind decision-making. The popular terms ‘win-win’ and ‘win-lose’ (already mentioned above) are from Game Theory and this book explores many of the common terms, aspects and models of the field (such as The Prisoners’ Dilemma) that you are probably aware of but have not considered how you could apply. The Art of Strategy gives just enough theory, layered with examples, to allow a common sense application of this fascinating science of decision making.

Nudge: Improving Decisions About Health, Wellness and Happiness by Richard H Thaler and Cass R Sunstein

Want to help people make better choices? Nudge is all about just that. Thaler and Sunstein take the art of influence onto the grand scale and explore what it takes to persuade and move large masses of people towards healthier and more productive lifestyles. Behavioural science has never been more interesting or accessible than in Nudge. Nudge has been hugely influential and is another must-read, particularly for policymakers and anyone involved in mass communications.

Made to Stick: Why Some Ideas Take Hold and Others Come Unstuck by Chip Heath and Dan Heath

Why do some ideas take hold more than others? To answer this question, Chip and Dan Heath have studied information hooks and the essence of what makes messages persistent. Made to Stick is fascinating and will change the way you pitch your next idea or even draft your next email. It is an invaluable resource for learning how to be concise, effective and ‘sticky’ with your communications.

Rapport: The Four Ways to Read People by Emily Alison and Laurence Alison

Want to know how to deal with difficult people? Wondering how to quickly build trust and effective communication? Then read Rapport by Emily and Laurence Alison. Emily and Laurence are experts in forensic psychology who have spent more than 30 years studying rapport building under the most challenging circumstances; namely through investigating the interrogation of terrorists and how (without torture) interrogators were able to establish trust with and gain information from their subjects. A fascinating read with lots of practical applications to everyday communications and building relationships.

To Sell is Human by Daniel H Pink

What do you think when you hear the term salesperson? Do you picture yourself? Probably not, but To Sell is Human may well challenge your thinking. Dan Pink writes accessibly and this short tome brings together much of the subject matter in the field of persuasion, influence and negotiation (including many of the books above) and is therefore a good way into the subject area. Dan Pink also helps to de-bunk the popular negative stereotype of sales and salespeople and challenges more traditional sales practices. Therefore this is the sales book for all those (such as me) who hate the idea of the hard sell!

Leadership Development: Master the Top Leadership and Life Skills

Better lead in life and work to maximise your success. Sign up and access materials for free!

Me too! I am an adventurous soul and I love journeying alongside leaders with similar passions.

Ernest Shackleton has long been a hero of mine and I have always been inspired by the advert he posted for volunteers to come with him to Antarctica. Well I am not going to Antarctica (not just yet at least) but adventure and success are definitely on the menu.

“Through endurance we conquer.”

Ernest Shackleton (author of South)

How to develop as an adventurous leader

I am a great believer in coaching and mentoring of leaders, but coaching based in the context of experience, challenge and adventure. I have various leadership commitments of my own and I see raising up other leaders as part of my key responsibilities of being a leader.

Due to my other commitments, and my approach to coaching and mentoring, I only do one-to-one coaching for a maximum of 10 individuals at any one time. I also only coach people who are equally dedicated. People’s mind-sets and motivations mean more to me than seniority, sector or any other factor. Unlike with the Shackleton advert, you don’t have to be a man in order to apply!

I do now have a couple of coaching slots free so please do contact me if you, or someone you know, fits this bill:

• Do you have an adventurous mind-set?
• Do you want to be challenged?
• Do you want to develop as a leader?
• Do you want to unlock your creativity?
• Do you want to make better decisions?
• Do you want to achieve better balance across all aspects of life?

If the answer is yes to all the questions above please do drop me a line and we can talk further. Looking forward to hearing from you!

If you would like to understand more about my approach to coaching then please read An Introduction to Coaching.

“Difficulties are just things to overcome, after all.”

Ernest Shackleton (author of South)

Like many, I was shocked and saddened to read that HRH Prince Philip had died. I had the pleasure of meeting him just once. It was just one of his estimated 22,219 solo engagements, so I am just one of the many thousands of people that the Duke of Edinburgh met in his many years of public service.

I was immediately reminded of our encounter. It was amazing to meet the Prince but unfortunately the experience was marred by the fear that I felt at the time. Fear of failure, that ironically, led to failure.

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A Royal encounter

My fleeting encounter with the Duke of Edinburgh was at the passing-out parade at Welbeck College. I was a student there and must have been 17 or 18 years old at the time.

Welbeck College was a military school and we had pretty regular parades, but a royal guest was a big deal. What’s more, Prince Philip was a respected military man in his own right, having had a distinguished career in the Navy, including combat experience in the Second World War. Therefore, we had been preparing extra hard and received a considerable number of extra instructions on our conduct and behaviour. Inspections also became all the more stringent.

I still remember the RSM (Regimental Sergeant Major) giving a stern brief about what we were and were not allowed to do when the Prince was there. He finished off by saying, “And whatever you do, don’t contradict him!” or words to that effect.

The RSM was a fearful Scottish character. He was short in stature, but his voice made up for it. I can still recollect his voice commanding, “there will be no smoking on the college rooves!” He gave many other motivational speeches, generally after whichever latest student misdemeanour. Woe to the one who might fall under his wrath!

Choking under pressure

So, as the Prince inspected the parade, passing down the line, with the RSM in-tow, I could not help but playing over in my mind all the RSM’s colourful threats. Then, to my shock, the Prince stopped in front of me and asked a question.

“So, you are off on exercise next week?”

The Prince was referring to our annual military training camp that happened in the holidays. Prince Philip smiled; he was obviously doing his best to put me at ease. But, as far as I was concerned, the pressure was on. I had to reply.

So, without thinking I said: “No, actually it’s the week after next.”

At that moment I realised what I had done. I had contradicted the Duke. I could see the RSM out of the corner of my eye. He was attempting to smile, but there was no laughter in his eyes. His face wore a grimace that said, “Ash, I am going to hunt you down and kill you.”

I was so scared I can’t remember what the Prince said in reply. Ever the consummate professional, I don’t think he was phased at all by the idiocy of this young man.

The Prince continued his way down the line of cadets. His smile was unbroken, his manner as relaxed as ever. I, however, sweated it out until the parade was over. Then, I spent the rest of the school term avoiding the RSM.

Fear is a poor motivator

Isn’t it funny that so many of our mistakes are born out of fear and worry? Thinking about the RSM still sends a shiver down my back. It just goes to show: fear is not a good motivator.

Prince Philip was deeply committed to public service and had high expectations of himself and others. Despite this, and his position, he always tried to put people at ease. This was in contrast to the fear that the RSM inspired.

Reflecting on these contrasting approaches has certainly changed the way I work with people. As the Google study confirmed, leaders should be creating an environment of psychological safety where people can make mistakes. The funny thing is, if people aren’t afraid, they make fewer mistakes anyway. Ironic.

We all have something to learn from the Duke of Edinburgh. No matter what our position, we should always maintain our humour and humility. And as leaders, we should seek to put people at ease to get the best out of them.

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HRH Prince Philip you will be missed. I can just echo the words of President Obama:

“As the world mourns his loss, we send our warmest wishes and deepest sympathies to the Queen, their children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren; and everyone who knew and loved this remarkable man.”

Barak Obama

This episode (recorded in London, November 2019) provides something of a platform to this podcast series. Andy Tilsley and I talk about leadership in broad terms; its definition, and the challenges of leadership that we see in the world today.

About our guest: Andy Tilsley (00:21)

Andy has over 20 years worth of leadership experience. He studied psychology at Exeter University, before moving to the BBC to work as a news and sports journalist spending many a happy (and some sad) hours commentating on his beloved Wolverhampton Wanderers. Since then, he has primarily worked in the voluntary sector and in his spare time, he’s a keen writer. He is currently working on three novels and a non-fiction book on leadership.

How do we define leadership? (01:30)

Leadership is probably best defined as influence. The author David Foster Wallace, in his parable the ‘Infinite Jest’ demonstrates that we are all being shaped by our culture. That cultural influence creates change in all of us and can therefore be seen as a form of leadership.

(03:30) As leadership is influence, then we are all leaders to a lesser or greater extent. Sometimes that influence is manifest in small ways. Andy’s first experience of leadership was helping others in small ways, supporting them through listening, encouraging and giving advice. This is something we all do as friends and colleagues, no matter what our position.

This is why leadership as influence is a useful definition as we all shape the world around us – whether we realise it or not. Leadership is taking responsibility for that change. We need to be conscious of being leaders and then have a plan for the change we want.

(N.B. Apologies folks, in error I say James Maxwell in this section! I of course mean John C Maxwell, author of The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership.)

Which leadership experts do you rate? (05:10)

Andy’s favourite leadership expert is Simon Sinek, author of Start with Why. Simon Sinek’s material is very accessible, engaging and practical. Andy’s favourite book is Leaders Eat Last. This book highlights the challenge that there are a lot of people who have the role of leaders but do not live up to the responsibilityof leadership when things get tough.

Is there a crisis of leadership? (06:40)

Do we have a crisis of leadership, particularly in the West (UK, US and Europe)? There have been plenty of scandals (such as the banking scandals of the early 2000s) that have uncovered poor leadership and shown that many people in high positions are not serving others effectively.

Has our individualist culture undermined the idea of servant leadership? Are we too self-serving? If so, this is not just an institutional problem it is a cultural one. Also, if, leadership is influence and that we are all influencers, then we all have a responsibility to address this crisis. We can all be better leaders.

How can we address the crisis in leadership? (08:20)

The late Rabbi Jonathan Sacks wrote and spoke a lot about the importance of meaning and purpose in society, and our responsibility to contribute positively. We can all bring more hope and positivity.

Darren Brown (mentalist and illusionist) demonstrated the psychology of negativity. If you are in a negative mindset then you miss the good things.

Therefore, seek the good – be positive – in your context and with your influence. Few of us have responsibilities for whole states but all have responsibility for caring for the people around us.

“It may not change the world, but it might change my world.” 

Andy Tilsley

That’s how we can all start in leadership.

Our ability to contribute and influence (11:00)

We all have a part to play no matter how small. This is summed up in the wisdom of Mother Teresa:

“We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop.”

Mother Teresa

Mother Teresa talked about looking out for the next one, the next person or step; concentrating on that, not the thousands. She focussed on the small things, but in this way, she was able to have a huge positive influence. Change is about getting our hands dirty in the here and now.

Influence can be exerted or expressed in different ways, whatever our roles, situation or context of leadership.

Positivity and the Power of the Team (13:50)

What most helps positivity?

When we work together positivity is multiplied and amplified by our complimentary gifts. We can achieve so much more as a team due to the diversity that a team can encompass.

How do you find out your strengths and gifts?

There are lots of tools to help you discover your talents and Andy recommends the Clifton Strengths Finder as one he has found very helpful.

The team gives the ability and power to face and overcome challenges. The leader is just one member and one role within the team. A team needs a variety of roles to function properly (Belbin).

“The leader maybe the catalyst for change but not the only author of change and success.”

Simon Ash

Dysfunctional teams (17:00)

Teams don’t always work. Naturally, within a team, there are relational challenges and differences of opinion. You don’t always get to pick your team and therefore a leader’s responsibility is to help to forge the team together and get the best out of every individual. In this way, the whole team can develop personally on the journey together as well as working towards the goal.

The importance of the journey and legacy

It’s not always about getting your goal. We also don’t always get what we want in the here and now. So, success is not always in just achieving the goal, it is in the journey itself. The goal may not even be achieved in our lifetimes. Therefore, personal growth is often as important as the mission.

How the effect of focus on the individual in culture (22:00)

Rabbi Sacks has an excellent TED talk that examines our culture and politics:

He points out that the ‘selfie’ is an example of how we worship the individual in our culture. The anti-dote to this self-obsessed culture is living for something bigger than ourselves.

Authority is like any relationship – it does not come through a title alone, but through a decision to trust someone. We give authority to people by giving our heart to others. This is demonstrated in parent-child relationships. Parenting is a fascinating model for leadership as it is relationship and the demonstration of influence through love.

How do we find balance and purpose in life?

Self-actualisation and working out our purpose in life is a challenge. Part of the struggle is that there is just so much advice out there and this subject alone. It can be confusing.

Passion alone is not enough. Shouting about something (for example on social media) is also not the same as really living for something. So, what do we do?

Finding our greater purpose is a large part of life’s journey (and one of the reasons I started ‘The Right Questions.’)

We are all part of a bigger picture. It’s like being part of a huge tapestry. We may only seem to be insignificant or loose threads in that great tableau of life and history, but we all play an essential contribution. We may not ever see the whole picture but when you get the chance to step back, even just a little, you can get a larger perspective of that role.

How do we find our purpose? (29:30)

So where do we start in exploring our life’s purpose? In my experience I recommend people start with the question ‘why?’ (Simon Sinek’s book Start with Why is a great resource.) Asking ‘why’ helps us to understand our values, principles, priorities and passions in life. It’s a good first step.

Starting on an adventure and finding your call is not easy. The challenge – the opportunity cost – when starting out, can be paralysing. We can fear that we are losing out on something else when we make a choice or pursue a dream.

Worth and identity (33:00)

Where do you place your value? What is your ultimate worth? Be careful where you place your worth as it might eat you alive if it’s the wrong thing! (Foster Wallace)

In our culture, we are bombarded by attacks on our worth and identity. Advertising works on creating a perceived gap in our self-worth. It tells us we are not good looking enough, not rich enough, that we need something to make us better. This can make us deeply unhappy.

Happiness is largely based on comparisons. Being happy is often dependent upon the gap between expectations versus reality. This is the premise in The Happiness Hypothesis by Jonathan Haidt. In the book he looks at some of the wisest advice through history, combined with modern research, to understand happiness.

Habits and discipline (37:00)

How do we instil discipline and create good habits?

If you want to understand the psychology of habits then I can recommend The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg. His research has shown that these things can help us more effective at changing habits:

• Experiment with the reward you get when you are forming a new habit
• Be realistic – start small and grow the habit and expectations slowly
• Make sure that what you do is effective: practice what you can’t do, not what you can
• Accountability to others and encouragement

The discipline comes in keeping going. It’s pushing through the pain. Staying the course when progress is slow. Staying committed when the results seem so small. This is where other people can particularly help us.

Stories that inspire our leadership (44:30)

Stories are important to understanding leadership and powerful in inspiring us as leaders.

What makes a story great? What makes them inspiring?

One common theme at the heart of the greatest stories is love and self-sacrifice. For example, Harry Potter, where love is the strongest magic, or Lord of the Rings, which is full of sacrificial acts by the heroes.

But there is a theme in stories today where the future seems to be increasingly dystopian and full of anti-heroes. These can be useful in examining our behaviours now and how they might negatively shape the future, but they can also be lacking in hope.

We need stories of hope, not least because the stories we tell affect us.

“We become the stories that we tell ourselves.”

Andy Tilsley

That does not mean that stories should be ‘sugar-coated’

Key friendships are also key to truly inspiring stories. They give us a picture or real teamwork. Frodo and Sam in Lord of the Rings would be one example, or Ratty and Mole in the Wind in the Willows.

Information about The Right Questions

The Right Questions is an online resource to help you lead yourself and others better. You can find more by following the links in the menu at the top of the page and you can write to me via the contact tab.

Follow me on twitter @TheRightQs

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I heard the crack as my collarbone gave way. Surely this should not happen to a superhero. Where had I gone wrong?

Scroll back 30 seconds.

Do you ever dream of being a Superhero?

My cape billowed behind me. This was mainly because my Superman suit was too big and there was a draft in the hall. But the steely look on my face, that was 100% genuine.

The family was watching television, but not me.  I laughed at their weakness. Mortals! They would watch greatness on the screen, but I would achieve greatness, right here in the hallway of our home.

This was no time for sitting around, I had committed myself to the rigours of disciplined training.  I knew that if I was going to make an impact on the world – especially aged 6 – I needed to stand out.  But I had to admit, learning to fly was hard.

I had a method.  In the hall was a big antique chair with strong arms and a soft leather seat.  From the arms I could launch myself to the stairs.  Then I could turn on the stairs and leap back to the safety of the leather cushion.  All I needed to do was inch the chair further away from the stairs after each successful flight. At some point, surely, I would be released from the habit of falling to earth.

Back and forth I went, time and again.  My confidence rose. I felt the superpowers burgeoning within me; indisputably all they needed was some great need, a challenge, a crisis for them to burst forth.

Cometh the hour, cometh the man?

I moved the chair a whole foot away from the stairs and mounted the launch platform once again.  I surveyed the distant stairs in my steely gaze and set my sights upon the third step.  My expression hardened, mouth set, and teeth clenched. My muscles bunched in anticipation as I crouched and, with an incredible force, leapt into the void.

I felt the blood (or was that superpower?) rushing through my veins as I flew, body outstretched.  I could feel the air rushing past my cheek; had I reached escape velocity?

The horizon started to fall away.  My speed was ebbing.  The steps seemed so distant. My confident gaze was replaced by wide-eyed panic. My lofty dreams were about to crash into the unforgiving floor of reality.

Above the sound of the television there was a large thump followed by a high-pitched yowl.  The rest of the family burst through the door and into the hall to gape at the terrible sight of the fallen hero.  There I lay; a diminutive blue and red heap at the base of the stairs, one arm held at an unexpected angle.

Hot tears of frustration and humiliation burnt my (noble) cheeks.  To maintain my dignity and protect my battered pride I removed my hero cape for the journey to hospital.

Great Man Theory

Why did I so badly want to be a superhero? Given the deluge of superhero movies it seems I am not alone in this desire.

It seems that deep down we have a yearning for power. A desire for the power to save. We also seem to want a hero to follow; someone we can respect so much we would be happy if they saved us.

This concept echoes through popular culture but is nothing new. One of the earliest official leadership theories is the ‘Great Man’ theory, as described by Thomas Carlyle. According to the hypothesis, The Great Man appears at a key moment of history to lead. Such men rise so far above ordinary people they are effectively worshipped.

“The Great Man was always as lightning out of Heaven; the rest of men waited for him like fuel, and then they too would flame.” 

Thomas Carlyle

Many of us dream of being heroes but very few of us can relate to this very narrow view of leadership as it excludes pretty much everyone. For starters is completely discounts great women and assumes people are born to greatness and leadership.

This theory leaves us with examples such as Alexander the Great, Julius Caesar or Napoleon. These are leaders who had great power and influenced history but whose methods and legacy are often highly divisive.

I have certainly never considered myself anything close to being a ‘Great Man’ and don’t feel like I was a born leader. Not only do I not have superpowers, I am also an introvert by nature, which is contrary to the traditional popular picture of a leader.

What can we learn from the Great Man model of leadership?

Carlyle was a historian trying to suggest a grand narrative of history. He was not a leadership guru but someone who viewed events through the biography of powerful men. Studying the larger-than-life figures of history, warts and all, can help us grow as leaders.

The negative illustrations of history are perhaps the most instructive. Hitler, Stalin and other despots believed they were in the mould of the ‘Great Man’, but power is not greatness. If there is one thing we have learned from superhero culture, is it that:

“With great power comes great responsibility.”

Stan Lee

God bless Stan Lee.

What makes us great?

Responsibility is using our influence for good, and good decisions are dependent upon good values.

Moral ambiguity, particularly at the beginning of the twentieth century, allowed a lot of interpretation of ‘greatness’. This ambiguity can be traced back to philosophical trends of thinkers such as Nietzsche, an incredible thinker, but one who emphasised the power of the ‘great man’ as one unbound to any external code of ethics. (Hassan 2016). Nietzsche put it this way:

“You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.” 

Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

And thus, the post-modern world was born.

The journey to greatness?

You would have thought that the busted collarbone would have taught me the foolishness of trying to be a superhero. In the short term it just changed my superhero aspirations from Superman to Batman. Since then, I have tallied up another snapped collarbone, a cracked arm, a couple of fractured ribs, several broken fingers and a leg in plaster.

I was not born to greatness and most of the time I do not feel like anything special. I take comfort in the words of Confucius:

“Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”

Confucius

So even if you don’t feel like the superhero, the great man or the leader, don’t give up. Being a leader, being a great person, is less about power than it is about taking responsibility and having a growth mindset.

That is how we fly above the lesser version of ourselves.

If you enjoyed this and would like access to some bonus content and get updates then please do sign up to my email list.

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References

Carlyle, Thomas (1840) On Heroes, Hero Worship, and the Heroic in History,

Hassan, Patrick (2016) Nietzsche on Human Greatness, https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10790-016-9570-9

Lee, Stan (2002) The Amazing Spider-Man, Vol. 2 #38, New York: Marvel Worldwide Inc.

Nietzsche, Friedrich Wilhelm (1885) Thus Spake Zarathustra,

Is there a leadership crisis? It only takes a quick scan of the media to see that some of the ‘great’ leaders of the world are deeply flawed. There are countless examples of politicians whose integrity is being questioned or business leaders who have pursued profit at the expense of everything else.

Yet these leaders have risen to prominence in our society. They could be defined as great, even effective in some ways, but are they actually good? And if they are not good, how have they risen so high?

The crisis of leadership 

There have been plenty of scandals (such as the banking scandals of the early 2000s) that have uncovered poor leadership and shown that many people in high positions are not serving others effectively.

What has gone wrong? Is it that our individualist culture has undermined positive models of leadership such as servant leadership? Are we too self-serving? If so, this is not just an institutional challenge, or a professional issue, it is a cultural problem.

But, before we go further, what do we actually mean by leadership? Is this just the preserve of the rich and powerful, or for the heads of corporations and states?

How do we define leadership? 

There are plenty of convoluted definitions of leadership, but leadership is probably most simply defined as influence. This is certainly my favourite definition, and one championed by the leadership expert John C Maxwell (author of The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership).

Why is this important? Because, we are all influencers, to some degree, and in turn, we are influenced by others. That is why we should all care about leadership; it affects us all.

We often forget this – and this can be dangerous – as demonstrated by the author David Foster Wallace, in his parable the ‘Infinite Jest’. If we become passive consumers of other people’s influence (and particularly the influence of the media) we give up our gift, and responsibility, to shape culture for the better.

Leadership is influence but being a leader is taking responsibility for change. We need to be conscious of our own leadership and then have a plan for the change we want.

Great leaders or good leaders?

Jim Collins, in his excellent book ‘Good to Great’ talks about how for organisations the “good can be the enemy of the great”. In other words, by doing some things well we can often miss the opportunity to be truly great at something.

But in leadership terms, the great can often be the enemy of the good. Leaders might be great in terms of power and influence, but they may not use that influence for good. These leaders bring about change, but arguably, this change is not positive in the long term.

This type of leadership, embodied by the ‘Great Man’ theory of leadership, is narrow and frequently harmful. So, what does a good leader look like?

Not surprisingly, there are lots of different views on what makes a good leader; the values they should embody and the skills they need to have. For a very contemporary take on this take a look at Umair Haque’s excellent post:

https://eand.co/why-leadership-needs-a-revolution-3c4d7869eeb5

How can we address the crisis in leadership?

The late Rabbi Jonathan Sacks wrote and spoke a lot about the importance of meaning and purpose in society, and our responsibility to contribute positively.

In his excellent TED talk, he examines our culture and politics in the West and points out that the ‘selfie’ is an example of how we worship the individual in our culture. The anti-dote to this self-obsessed culture is living for something bigger than ourselves.

We can all bring more hope and positivity. The question is working out what that larger, positive, thing is that we are motivated by.

Even if you just want to improve your own life this is an important principle. Darren Brown (mentalist and illusionist) has demonstrated in his televised experiments the dangers of negativity. If you are in a negative mindset then you miss the good things; you are actually making yourself unhappy.

Therefore, seek the good – be positive – in your context and with your influence. Few of us have responsibilities for whole states or organisations but all have responsibility for caring for the people around us.

As young Scouts are taught, do a good turn every day. Making little positive changes to our world, within our sphere of influence, is the starting place of a leader.

“It may not change the world, but it might change my world.” 

Andy Tilsley

Our ability to contribute and influence 

We all have a part to play no matter how small. This is summed up in the wisdom of Mother Teresa:

“We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop.”

Mother Teresa

Mother Teresa talked about looking out for the next one, the next person or step; concentrating on that, not the thousands. She focussed on the small things, but in this way, she was able to have a huge positive influence.

Positive change is about getting our hands dirty, in the here and now, with the people around us who need help.

How do we find our purpose?

So where do we start in exploring our life’s purpose? In my experience I recommend people start with the question ‘why?’ (Simon Sinek’s book Start with Why is a great resource.) Asking ‘why’ helps us to understand our values, principles, priorities and passions in life. It’s a good first step.

If you want some ideas on answering this question, then take a look at my post on how to ‘What are your personal values?’

Starting on an adventure and finding your call is not easy. The challenge – the opportunity cost – when starting out, can be paralysing. We can fear that we are losing out on something else when we make a choice or pursue a dream.

But whatever we think we are missing out on now, that is nothing compared to what we could be losing longer term. This is (going back to what Jim Collins says) the good can be the enemy of the great.

So how do you start?

Take the first step. Do one small thing to make your world a better place today.

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Want to find out more?

If you want to hear more on this topic then check out my podcast and conversation with Andy Tilsley. We discuss the crisis of leadership and how we can start on our journey to meaning and being good leaders.

The Right Questions Podcast Episode 2:

“Is There a Crisis in Leadership” https://www.buzzsprout.com/1748923/8302332

If you would like access to some bonus content and get updates then please do sign up to my email list.