How To Learn From Your Mistakes

We need to be continually assessing our decisions and learning from our actions; especially from our mistakes. This goes for everyone, but particularly for leaders.

“If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must Man be of learning from experience.” 

George Bernard Shaw

Bomb disposal: where mistakes can be costly

After a couple of years of experience in Bomb Disposal, I went to Africa with my unit. We were there to clear an area that was littered with bombs of various descriptions.  My troops, with the help of some local tribesmen, scoured the bush looking for anything that might go bang. They would call me up when they found something.  But, as there was no shortage of ordnance, they would stockpile munitions (if they were safe to move) so that they could be dealt with in one go.

On this particular day, I was with my Non-Commissioned Officers and we went together to sort out the latest haul.  The Staff Sergeant and I had passed our training together and we got on very well, so it was a pleasure to spend some time working in unison.  Today we had a pile of artillery shells to dispose of, a fairly simple task.

It looked like a good plan until…

And so we made a quick plan. We worked the explosive charge we needed to use, then all we had to do was light the fuse and withdraw to a safe distance.  We had not been able to get the Landrover right up to the site, because of the difficult terrain. So, we chose a spot in the distance – a hill that offered some cover from the blast – that we could walk to. We then cut the fuse to the right length in order to allow us enough time to get there.

After checking our work we lit the fuse, checked our watches and set off towards the small hill. That was to be our protective cover.  We chatted about important things, such as how many letters we had received that week and how much we wanted a cold beer.  The funny thing was that the escarpment was not getting any closer; so we increased our pace.  Still, we laughed and joked as we walked briskly along.

But, another look at our watches gave us some cause for alarm.

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We realised we had made a mistake

At this point, we broke into a run.

There was no longer laughing or even chatting.  All that was said was, “We are not going to get there in time, do you see any other cover?”  We spotted what seemed to be a series of gullies over to our left so we headed towards them.  Upon reaching them our relief quickly turned back to anxiety. Even though the gullies were deep, the shallow angle of the slopes would afford us little cover.  We ran on.

At this point in the proceedings, I sent up one of my most eloquent prayers. It went something like this: “GOD HELP!”  We only had seconds to go and so we dived into a shallow pit. We had to crouch down with our backs to the sand to keep our heads below the parapet.

The explosion

For a few seconds, the only sound was our thumping hearts, heavy breathing and the noise of a nonchalant fly investigating my hat. Then we felt the explosion – a pulse through the earth and a punch through the air.  We looked at one another.  No words were exchanged but much was communicated.  We were both thinking the same thing: that was a bigger bang than expected; we felt dreadfully close!

I was hoping that (from the way we had positioned the munitions) the blast would be mostly directed into the ground. But then there came a sound that made me flinch. It was like an angry hornet going past my ear, and then there was another, followed by little thuds and puffs of sand as the shrapnel came down around us.  As the deadly rain struck the ground there was little we could do, so I opted to laugh and my colleague used a varied, colourful (but sadly unrepeatable) string of words to express his feelings.

Learning from mistakes

When our self-induced bombardment came to an end and it was obvious we were both not only alive but also unharmed. Therefore we spent a few precious seconds enjoying the quiet.  After our short pause, we decided to walk back to the site and review our procedures before moving onto the next cache of weaponry.  It was obvious that we had some important lessons to learn.

“It’s fine to celebrate success but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure.” 

Bill Gates

We had gone through the whole process of making and executing a plan. Something had gone wrong and therefore we needed to reflect and learn from that. In this case, a good plan was undermined by simple heuristics. I used a ‘unit of measure’ heuristic to judge the distance from where we were, to where we needed to get to for our safety. Because of the lack of features in the terrain – things like trees that I knew the size of and could compare – I inaccurately estimated the distance we needed to travel, and therefore underestimated the length of fuse needed for our controlled explosion.

This usually good heuristic was undermined by those spatial effects and my own cognitive bias. I allowed what I thought I could see to affect my perception (a framing effect) and then allowed what I thought my plan should be to shape how I interpreted the data (confirmation bias). In psychological terms, my System 1 (fast) thinking undermined my System 2 (slow) thinking.

As I walked back, post-explosion, I knew that I had other demolition tasks that I had to go to. I reflected, realised my mistake, and that reflective process allowed me to learn from the experience and avoid making the same mistake again.

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Building reflection into the decision-making process

Sometimes you just can’t help making mistakes. Hopefully, as in my case, you can survive and learn from the error. To enable this we should always build in time to reflect and learn. Fortunately, if you think of decision-making as cyclical, rather than linear, then it lends itself to doing just that.

The fact is that the process of planning, looking at options and making decisions does not ever stop. We may start with a more in-depth planning process but we will constantly be making new decisions, reviewing our progress and adapting our plans. This is why the cycle of decision making never ceases, as we see in the illustration below.

The trick is, as we move forward, to make sure we take time to pause and reassess our plans as we go.

Constant change requires constant reflection and improvement

The world and our situation are constantly changing.  We need flexibility in order to adapt as we go. Sometimes this happens through subtle transformation, sometimes through more formal change management.  However we do it, if we want to learn and be more effective, we need a process of reviewing our actions and decisions.

This can be just taking an objective pause to reflect in the decision-making process, as happens under the ‘which’ step within The Right Questions framework (number 4 in the picture above).

When is the best time for reflection and learning?

Some pauses may be longer than others. We need pit stops as well as the end of race review; time out huddles, as well as the big post-match, debrief.  It is worth planning these in through the life of a project. Sometimes it is hard to stop to review because we feel we should be getting on with something.  At times like this, we need to remember progress is no good if it is in the wrong direction.  We need to take time to stop and check.

In the end, when we need a post-project review, it is easy to put it in the programme but requires real discipline to actually do it.  It can be hard to enforce a time of reflection at a time when people just want to celebrate or they just want to move on it to the next thing.  Once you have achieved a goal, especially when it goes well, the temptation is to skip over the review.  Don’t. There are always important things to learn at this stage. If you discuss them and record them, then others can learn from your experiences too.

History may repeat itself because people fail to read history, but don’t be guilty of not giving people the chance to learn in the first place. Take the time out to share.

Whatever point in our journey we have reached, after a review we can decide which things in our plan need to change and which things remain the same.  Most importantly we can identify success and plan to build on it.

Failing is just learning to succeed

What about things that did not go so well?  We can be afraid of failure and afraid to admit it when we do fail, therefore we need to change the way we see things when they don’t go to plan. If something has gone wrong then we can turn it into a learning opportunity.

Thomas Edison, the great empirical inventor, knew the value of learning from apparent failure. He had thousands of attempts to create an effective electric light bulb, but those that did not work he did not consider failures, just as positive proofs of how not to make a light bulb!  Even after his initial patent, he continued to refine his light bulb design for decades afterwards.  His approach to reviewing and applying lessons was lifelong and contributed to him being the fourth most prolific inventor in history.  Edison said:

“Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”

Thomas Edison

And that is a good lesson to end with. Not to give up, never to give in, no matter what the challenges are. Take a moment to reflect and learn right now: which heroic failures have you learned from?

If you want the right answers you have to start with the right questions

About The Right Questions

The Right Questions is for people who want greater clarity, purpose and success. There is a wealth of resources to boost your effectiveness in achieving goals, your leadership of yourself and others, and your decision-making.

Wherever you are on your journey, I hope that you find information on this site to help you on the next leg of your quest. Even if that is just the inspiration to take one small step in the right direction, then that is a success. If you can take pleasure in learning and travelling as you go, then so much the better.

Need help navigating your journey to success?

I love to serve people, helping them unlock their potential, empowering them as leaders, and assisting them in achieving their goals. Please get in touch and let me know how I can support you!

You Can Learn From My Many Leadership Failures

When was the last time you failed as a leader? How long ago was it; weeks, days, (hours)? I certainly don’t have to think very far back to find failure.

I was listening to Brené Brown’s excellent book ‘Dare to Lead’ and thought I would take a few minutes to pause and reflect on when my practice of leadership has not lived up to my theoretical ideal. Within minutes I had a scary number of examples. So, in the spirit of writing what you need to read, here as some of my failures.

I have led in various professional contexts for more decades than I care to mention. My experiences as a leader have been some of the most rewarding and enriching in my life, but my time as a leader is also littered with mistakes.

If you want to be a leader, get used to failure! Let me amend that: As a leader get used to failure, and get good at learning from it.

Failing to achieve a task is one thing but I have also frequently failed to maintain my own standards and values. These are the most painful failures of all. So I thought I would start there in terms of sharing.

I have failed through anger, shame, faking it, lack of courage and basically trying to be something I am not. Insecurity has haunted me, in one form or another, the whole time.

So, I’m here to air my dirty washing (that’s what you are waiting for right?) I have started with some from earlier in life and progressed (or regressed) from there. My genuine hope is that by sharing this you can learn from my mistakes and avoid a few yourself. And, if you can’t avoid the mistakes, hopefully we can just learn better together.

“It’s fine to celebrate success but it’s more important to heed the lessons of failure”

Bill Gates

Failure to develop others

Were you in Scouts or Guides when you were younger? I loved being in the Scouts (the Guides would not have me) and it gave me one of my earliest opportunities to lead. As a Cub Scout I rose to the lofty height of ‘Sixer’ with responsibility to lead our team of six (or so) fellow cubs.

So how did I do this? My memories are that my main leadership technique at the time involved the threat of violence. Shocking I know, on so many different levels!

And when I think back I simply ask myself, why on earth did I pick such an approach?

I was not big or strong. Violence was certainly not the approach taken by the leaders and role models around me. Thinking back I have to put it down to my own insecurity. For one reason or another I wanted to appear strong, to be something I was not; so I used the little strength I had in the wrong way. I used it to instil fear, rather than to protect.

I got compliance, but I missed out on the opportunity to create an environment where people felt safe to grow and learn. So much of leadership is about seeing the potential in others and creating the space for them to reach that potential. That is how I should have used my strength.

Failure to discipline others

Anyone else have a position of responsibility at school? One of other early opportunities I had to lead and to learn was as a prefect. In my final year of school, before university, I was one of the top tier prefects with the power to discipline (or punish) fellow pupils. What could possibly go wrong!

There was one particular group of boys in the year below mine who were always giving me (and others) trouble. One day they were walking along with their hands in their pockets, which at that school was practically a capital offence. Yes, it was a strict school. I said something, probably not in the most graceful manner, and I got a less than graceful reply.

I immediately told the group that they would receive a punishment, to be done later that day, which involved re-painting some school equipment.

The punishment did not really fit the crime. There was no real benefit from it for anyone – it wasted all our time. In my eagerness to punish I also did not properly set them up to do the job so I failed in my delegation of the task too.

Looking back I realise that I should not have punished them, I should have disciplined them. And there lies the subtle difference.

I could have done something clever such as tasking them to do the prefect job and for them to have responsibility to set the standards. I could have worked alongside them, setting an example and maybe even winning them around.

A lost opportunity but a lesson learned, by me at least. Discipline and punishment are not necessarily the same. Punishment often happens out of anger and the desire for retribution. Instead, a good leader disciplines people. Not only to maintain standards, but also to help people to develop in character and be disciplined by themselves. I think it took me becoming a parent to truly understand the need to discipline out of love.

Failure to practice what I preach

I have always enjoyed adventurous activities and alongside my more corporate roles I have worked as an expedition leader and outdoor instructor.

One time I was with some friends and instructing them in rock climbing. I was known for being the ‘outdoor guy’ and so was happy to show off my skills. As they were my friends I took a casual approach and did not think to prepare the session or work through what I was going to teach.

Realising I needed to do some basic rope work before we started ascending I decided to demonstrate how to secure yourself to the rock. I did not go through the procedure properly, I just casually clipped in, not paying attention to what I was connecting to and the next second I was falling off the rock and bouncing off the boulders below.

Fortunately it was not a big fall and, apart from a few bruises, the biggest damage was to my pride. All my friends were having a good laugh at my expense.

It is easy to cut corners and tell people to ‘do what I say not what I do’ but in the end this catches you out. I have always aspired to be someone of integrity who ‘walks the talk’ but this is just one case of how I failed to live up to my own standards. I have learned that you can’t take on the role of leader without taking on the responsibility too, even if you are taking the lead among friends or in a more informal setting.

Failure to take criticism

At the start of my professional career I was an Officer in the British Army. My first role was as a Bomb Disposal Officer in the Royal Engineers.

This of course is a fact that I am very proud to share. What I am less proud to share is that I failed one part of my bomb disposal course.

As well as all the theory, to get qualified, we had to conduct bomb disposal tasks under exercise conditions with non-explosive ordnance. We took it in turns to take the lead and after completing a task the instructors would de-brief us on our performance.

I failed on my first task, mainly due to the actions of one of my team members who was under my command. I was told in the de-briefing that I had failed due to my lack of leadership.

That really stung, especially as the instructor for my task happened to be of a more junior rank than me. I was fuming that this person could critique my leadership when I had obviously had more training and practice in leading than they had!

The anger and resentment I felt was carried into further tasks and I ended up failing and having to re-take that aspect of the course.

I have always been sensitive to criticism but I hope I have a more mature way of dealing with it now. Looking back the instructor was not saying I could not lead, just that I could – and should – have led better in that situation. We may have had different preferred styles of leadership but in the end they were right, and even if they weren’t, I should have responded better to the criticism. I acted petulantly and in the end the only person it really hurt was myself.

You need correct data to make effective decisions. The same is true for improving ourselves; we have to get honest feedback if we are going to know how to change for the better. As leaders we must genuinely seek constructive criticism and reflect on how we can do better.

Failure to reflect

To lead requires courage: courage to go, to fail, to learn and to go again.

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”

Winston Churchill

If you do not take the time to reflect and learn you are at risk of making the same mistakes. Then, even if we do keep going, we do so at the risk of not achieving our goal or failing the members of our team, and ourselves.

Through much of my time in leadership I have failed to properly reflect and learn from my failures. But I am getting better at it, slowly. The process of writing has really improved this discipline for me.

So, if you are a leader too – in whatever context – I would encourage you to write. Capture some thoughts on what and how you have done; whether it is a private journal, a slightly less private blog, or writing an article like this for the whole world to see!

When I started drafting this I had a long list of examples and I have only expanded on the first few. There are many more! If this post is helpful then I am very happy to continue on and share some more experiences so do let me know.

If you want the right answers you have to start with the right questions

About The Right Questions

The Right Questions is for people who want greater clarity, purpose and success. There is a wealth of resources to boost your effectiveness in achieving goals, your leadership of yourself and others, and your decision-making.

Wherever you are on your journey, I hope that you find information on this site to help you on the next leg of your quest. Even if that is just the inspiration to take one small step in the right direction, then that is a success. If you can take pleasure in learning and travelling as you go, then so much the better.

Need help navigating your journey to success?

I love to serve people, helping them unlock their potential, empowering them as leaders, and assisting them in achieving their goals. Please get in touch and let me know how I can support you!