What are your personal values and life goals? Do you have a personal action plan to help you succeed? Would you like a template to help you?

Look no further!

Over the past 10 years, thousands of people have used The Right Questions approach to discover their personal principles and then to live them out in order to thrive and succeed in life.

Now, in 2021, on the ten-year anniversary of The Right Questions, the workbook has been updated and re-published. You can get your free PDF copy – just sign up for the newsletter and download the e-book.

The Right Questions approach

The Right Questions is a planning and decision-making framework based upon asking interrogative questions. The idea for the approach is rooted in Simon Ash’s experience as a bomb disposal officer. The framework has been developed through research, application in management roles, and coaching of senior leaders.

How to use the Right Questions workbook

The Right Questions workbook will help you explore your life purpose, to set and achieve your personal goals.

The book is interactive and will build into a personal action plan that you can keep. You can either print off the book and fill it in by hand, write out the exercises in a notebook, or use the template electronically. The workbook structure allows you to complete the exercises as you go along. The action plan naturally builds as you follow through the steps.

To help you there is introductory information for each step but you will also find hyperlinks to more in-depth advice and further exercises that can help you along the way.

How to get your free e-book

All you need to do to start is sign up to the newsletter; you are only a couple of clicks away! So, just fill in your name and email address then check your inbox to confirm your subscription and receive your free ebook.

Click here to sign up now

Enjoy the adventure!

“Happy is he who acts the Columbus to his own soul!”

Anonymous

Life goals (when chosen correctly) are beneficial as they give us a target with direction and focus. We use goals to initiate about change in ourselves and the world around us. They are a tangible measure of action, improvement, and achievement.

Goals are more than just a good productivity hack. Setting and achieving self-development goals supports good mental health by giving us a sense of purpose and then triggering the release of positive neurotransmitters such as dopamine when we succeed. What’s more, goal setting is related to having a growth mindset. We need to set and fulfil targets to remain in learning mode and continue our personal improvement.

“If you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy and inspires your hopes.” — Andrew Carnegie

How to select the big life goals

Setting and achieving goals can be highly beneficial, but we do have to set the right type of goals. We need to set ourselves targets that stretch us (forcing us to grow) but they do need to be achievable. Goals can be bold, such as the Big Hairy Audacious Goals (BHAG) advocated by Jim Collins (author of Good to Great), but however big the idea is, it still needs to be broken down into actionable steps.

Therefore, if we want to benefit from all the benefits of goals — the productivity gains of setting them as well as the positive effects of achieving them — then we need to set what I call Goldilocks goals. These are goals that are not too easy but are also not completely unrealistic.

These Goldilocks goals can be ambitious, right on the edge of what we might believe is even possible, but then we must employ the important next step, that of chunking the goal down to make it manageable. For example, we might set ourselves the goal of climbing Mount Everest but there are hundreds, if not thousands, of intermediate tasks we need to complete in order to succeed.

“I think goals should never be easy, they should force you to work, even if they are uncomfortable at the time.” Michael Phelps (Olympic Gold Medallist and World Champion Swimmer)

The need for focus when achieving personal growth goals

Achieving challenging goals takes focus, and here I can speak from experience. For example, I set myself the target of completing several arduous mountain races which required single minded application over the course of several years.

In 2017 my target was to complete the CCC race in the Alps, one of the Ultra Trail de Mont Blanc (UTMB) courses. The route is a partial circumnavigation of the Mont Blanc massive. The path goes continually up and down, traversing the steep mountain trails; up over high passes and then back down into deep valleys, only to start climbing once again.

By the time I got to the checkpoint at the 50 km mark, it was getting dark. I had been running all day and felt exhausted, but I was still less than halfway around the course. The start had been in Italy and the final destination was the town of Chamonix in France, but at that point, I was still in Switzerland. With so far to go it was very tempting to just give up. I needed real discipline and focus to keep going.

As I left the checkpoint, I switched on my headtorch and immediately a bright, comforting circle appeared before me. I used it to first check my map, identifying the next check point, and glancing again at the end point, my goal.

I willed my stiff legs into movement and started off. My torch created a pool of light that I was running into. My focus narrowed to that small, enlightened patch of path as I got into a rhythm, despite my protesting muscles, and I encouraged myself on. All I needed to do was to keeping running into that light and I would achieve my goal.

“I don’t care how much power, brilliance or energy you have, if you don’t harness it and focus it on a specific target, and hold it there, you’re never going to accomplish as much as your ability warrants.” — Zig Ziglar

The Right Questions Torch Tool: Focussing on the self-development goal

If we want to achieve our big life goals then we need determination and focus. When it comes to The Right Questions Framework, and the conceptual tools that we pack in our bag, then we can think about the torch as something that helps us with that focus. A lamp has many uses, and is an essential item to pack for most adventures.

On our journey, just as like in my race, it is the metaphorical headtorch that helps to light our path, giving us the clarity to push towards our goal. To help gain that greater clarity there are some exercises we can work through.

Step 1: Clarify your life goals

Here are some questions to work through to help you hone your life goals. These questions are based on coaching tips from Michael Neill in his book Supercoach. They are questions that I have found particularly helpful, both for setting my own personal goals and for helping people I coach as they set their life goals.

Answer each one in turn, brainstorming as many goals as possible at this stage.

What things should you achieve?

In other words, what do you feel duty-bound to do? What do you feel is a responsibility or a necessity to achieve?

Which goals are logical?

Another way of asking this question would be, what is the rational thing to progress to? What would be a natural thing to achieve if you follow the course you are presently on?

Which goals give you déjà vu?

Which goals are always on your list and never seem to go away? What goal have you always wanted to do but never succeeded in?

What goals would somebody else set you?

If you asked your best friend or a family member, what sort of goal would they set for you? Think about your spouse or partner, what would they say should be your goal?

Which dreams express your deep wants?

Which goal reflects the deepest desires of your heart? What would give you the greatest satisfaction to achieve?

What would you ask for from your fairy godmother?

If you could wish for anything, what would that be? How about three wishes? What would you ask for?

What are your happy wants?

Which things do you want to achieve that will make you happy? Which ideas make you happy even just thinking about doing them?

What are your naughty wants?

Which goals do you have that you have never told anyone about? What would you like to achieve but have been too embarrassed to share with anyone or too scared to try?

What do you think “if only” I could have achieved?

When you look back in life, what do you wish you had achieved? If you could turn back the clock what would you have done differently?

Step 2: Prioritise your life objectives

After answering all the questions above you should have a long list of ideas and dreams. The next task is to prioritise these goals and work out which one you want to achieve first.

This is where the torch tool helps to spotlight the goals that are the most important so you can focus on them. We can use this tool in conjunction with other tools from our toolkit, combining the information we have from the other ‘why, where and what’ exercises.

Now answer these questions to help you narrow down your goal selection:

• Combine with the compass: Which goals are aligned with your personal values?
• Think about the photo: Which dream, if you did not achieve it, would you be most disappointed about?
• Consider your map: What target would best support your life purpose or overall vision?

Step 3: Focus on your most impactful goals

Finally, make the decision of which targets you are going to focus on. To do this, when considering large life goals, I would recommend that you pick no more than three big goals, and you also decide on which is the primary focus. As with a torch light, we can only focus on a certain amount with any clarity, so the more we concentrate our viewpoint, the more likely we are to achieve our objective.

“By recording your dreams and goals on paper, you set in motion the process of becoming the person you most want to be. Put your future in good hands — your own.” — Mark Victor Hansen

A resolution is just another word for a decision. But a resolution has a particular weight to it. It is a firm decision, a choice to resolve a problem, something we are resolute about doing.

But many people fail in their New Year Resolutions. So how do you set yourself up for success? From my experience of achieving my personal goals, plus coaching many clients through achieving their aims, I would offer 5 Ps to help make a successful resolution: psychology, prioritising, principles, process, and people.

Psychology

There is a reason that New Year’s resolutions are popular. Psychologically the New Year represents new opportunities. Even though in reality it is just a date, mentally it is like being presented with a fresh blank canvas. A fresh new year, a new calendar with 12 full months to look forward to; giving us the feeling that we can achieve something new.

What’s more, having (hopefully) had a break over the holidays we bring a fresh perspective to what we want to do. It is hard to make decisions and life changes in the busyness of work and normal life. A vacation gives us distance from our responsibilities, and a chance to reflect on where we are and where we are going. Therefore, this break in regular activity presents an opportunity for changing direction.

But if you want to make the most of this psychological advantage and set yourself up for success, you need to make the resolution before the New Year. The decision and plan need to be ready so you can start immediately. Trying to make important life decisions, when you have a sore head on New Year’s Day, is perhaps not the best way to go about things! Equally, if you leave your planning until you are going back to work it is likely the resolution will get lost in your old patterns and routine. So, start thinking and planning now.

Prioritise 

Most people have lots of goals and things they want to achieve. It would be very easy to make multiple resolutions and try to succeed in as many of these aims as possible, but that would be a mistake.

If you want the best chance of succeeding, you need focus. Therefore, you must choose the most important, most impactful resolution, out of all the things you might want to do. Don’t let the good be the enemy of the great. Prioritise your goals and put all your energy and effort towards the top one.

Principles 

One of the best ways to prioritise your goals is by examining your personal principles. This is because we are much more likely to see through a decision if it is in line with our values. Understanding principles helps to answer why you want to see a resolution through.

And you need to be honest with yourself and find the underlying reason as to why you want to do something. We often mask our real reasons from ourselves or others, but if you want to succeed you need to be brutally honest with yourself.

For example, your resolution might be to get fit. But why do you want to get into shape? Is it health, a desire to compete, a loss of body confidence or something else? Keep asking why until you really know the root motivation for what you are doing.

It is important to understand the why that underpins our motivation, as success in any goal or mission in life, is largely down to willpower. Our will is reinforced by beliefs, and our beliefs are reflected in our values and principles. If you have not thought about what your personal values are then that is a good thing to do before you choose any goal or resolution.

Process

When you have identified your most important life goal and why you want to achieve it the next step is to create a process.

A process is just a series of steps. The best plans identify the next small step to take, making it easy to progress. The will to take the incremental steps that lead to success is down to discipline. But a process, and particularly a process that becomes a habit, helps to reinforce our willpower.

If you want to get fit have a plan. It is highly likely that whatever aim you set yourself, someone will have succeeded in it before. By definition that makes it a simple type of problem. A simple problem does not mean guaranteed success, but it does mean that other people have overcome the same issue. So, learn from them. Find the best practice for achieving that specific goal. Take that blueprint and make it your own.

And don’t get disheartened if things don’t go exactly to plan or you struggle with your new habit. This is why most people fail in their resolutions. At the first setback, they decide to give up. Change your mindset. Take on a growth mindset: each failure is just a learning opportunity. Reflect on what happened and ask yourself, what went wrong? Creating new habits is a process of experimentation so analyse what happened and then try something new and go again. And again. And keep going.

This is effectively the Kolb learning cycle. You do something (a concrete experience), you review what happened (reflective observation), you make your conclusions (abstract conceptualisation) and then you try out a new idea (active experimentation). If the only thing you succeed in this year is embedding this process into your mental toolbox, then you will have achieved something great no matter what!

People 

The final P is for people. We have already seen that other people can help by providing plans if they have already achieved the same thing that you want to. So, once you have decided upon your resolution, start by finding out who else has successfully achieved the same goal.  If you can, then compare different people’s approaches and work out which one would best work for you. Better still, speak to them in person, get their experience and advice first-hand.

Then find someone to be accountable to. You are much more likely to fulfil your resolution if you share your goal with someone else and ask them to keep you on track. That person could be a friend, a colleague or a coach; it just needs to be someone who will challenge you and not let you off the hook.

For example, when I was training for an ultra-marathon, I got a training partner. There were plenty of days when I did not feel like putting in the hard miles, but it was much harder to cancel a training session than do it when there was another person involved. The result was I trained effectively, and I successfully completed the race. Find someone who can do the same for you.

The 5 Ps of a successful New Year’s Resolution

There is no shortage of advice about New Year’s Resolutions, whether it is making them or avoiding them completely! But remember, a resolution is just a decision. You can make a decision to pursue a life goal at any time but there are some benefits to starting at the turn of the seasons.

These 5 Ps will give you the best chance of achieving your aim:

• Use the psychology of the New Year and new beginnings to your advantage
• Prioritise what you want to achieve. Focus on the most important thing.
• Make sure the goal is in line with your principles.
• Create a process to reinforce your resolution. You need a solid habit to succeed.
• Find people who can support you and keep you accountable.

And remember, don’t wait. Start thinking and planning now so you are ready for the New Year. Don’t leave it until you are drinking bubbly and singing auld lang syne!

May you have a productive and successful 2022, fulfilling your resolutions and achieving your dreams!

Season’s greetings and happy holidays!

A few months ago, a very good friend of mine died. It was sudden and unexpected. He was in his thirties. He was very fit (he had recently completed a marathon amongst other things) and seemed healthy. But he died in his sleep. The post-mortem was inconclusive as to his cause of death.

Unsurprisingly, his family, friends, and colleagues – like myself – were devasted. This was a combination of the shock – the fact he was young and healthy – and that he was so universally liked. This last point truly came home at his funeral. There were so many people there, from different parts of his life, all wanting to say goodbye, but also to celebrate him. And that is what we did. We remembered and appreciated the positive impact he had had on all of us. The eulogies of his brother and best friend had us laughing through our tears.

It was also very sobering. It reminded me of my mortality and posed the question, how will I be remembered?

Too busy to think about?

It seems like a morbid thing to do, to think about our own funeral, but it is an important thing to do. Thinking about the end of life changes our perspective. We can consider the demands of our busy daily lives in a different context. We can start to challenge our priorities and ask, why are we doing what we are doing?

“It is not enough to be busy. So are the ants. The question is: What are we busy about?”

Henry David Thoreau

Yes, we are all busy. But are your actions today working towards a greater purpose? People often talk about strategy, but what about our personal strategy? What is the long-term plan for our lives? What does success in life look like for us?

When our time is done, what will be our legacy? Who will miss us?

These are important questions. In fact, there might not be any questions more important than these. But how do we go about answering them?

The problem with life plans

The challenge with life plans is that they never seem to go to plan! Circumstances have a way of knocking our best plans into the outfield. This has certainly been my experience. Just take my career as an example. At college, I had a general idea of what I did and did not like, but I could never have predicted the journey that my career has taken. Often doors have closed upon the route I have wanted to take, only to reveal an unexpected opening. Looking back, the result has often been far better than the one I could have planned or hoped for.

But my choices have not all been random. I have not been a rudderless yacht driven before the storm. Sailing is a good metaphor to consider. When sailing you have a destination in mind, but you must adjust your route according to the changing weather conditions. Fluctuations in the wind mean you have to constantly adjust your sails and you rarely get to sail directly towards where you want to go. You must tack back and forth, keeping an eye on your bearing, but also making small adjustments, so the waves don’t capsize you.

When sailing, one must watch the compass, while the hand is on the tiller. So in life, we need to consider our values as we make decisions. Our personal principles are our moral compass. They inform everything from the little adjustments to the big direction changes.

So have a plan or at least an idea of your destination. That is a good thing. But do not try to steer your life without a good idea of your values as well. Otherwise, you will find it hard to adjust to changing circumstances.

What is the difference between résumé virtues and eulogy virtues?

When looking at values, particularly from an end-of-life perspective, there can be a difference in our priorities. We love to portray a certain image in our daily interactions, on our résumé or CV, or social media. We feel the pressure to convey the busy, successful, manicured beauty of life the world seems to demand.

But is that the life we truly want? Are they the people we really want to be? Do we want to be remembered for being busy? For our job title? For our holiday pictures?

David Brooks, author of The Road to Character, best summed up this dichotomy in his New York Times article, The Moral Bucket List, where he defined the difference between résumé virtues and eulogy virtues.

We live in a culture that centres on self. Self-image, self-fulfilment, self-determination. But the shift with eulogy virtues is away from selfish desires, work accomplishments, external recognition, and the accumulation of stuff. Eulogy virtues tend towards selflessness, and towards life accomplishment, internal peace, and the building of a legacy.

Eulogy virtues force us to acknowledge our weaknesses and failures. They help us move from desiring independence from others to recognising our need for inter-dependence with others. We shift our motivations from success to love, from career to calling, from competence to character.

As David Brooks notes, eulogy virtues even challenge the fundamental questions of life. It goes from “what do I want from life?” To “what does life ask of me?”

“Commencement speakers are always telling young people to follow their passions. Be true to yourself. This is a vision of life that begins with self and ends with self. But people on the road to inner light do not find their vocations by asking, what do I want from life? They ask, what is life asking of me? How can I match my intrinsic talent with one of the world’s deep needs?”

David Brooks

How to work out your eulogy virtues

Having had experience taking people through this process, as a coach, I can recommend that you try and write out your own eulogy. This might feel uncomfortable at first, but, if you go with the process, it can be very insightful.

As you write, remember that this is not an obituary written by somebody that does not know you. It is not the article in the paper for the eyes of the world, it is a eulogy, shared from the perspective of someone who loves you, to the key people of your life, gathered at your funeral. The person in mind should be someone who knows you well enough to call out your weaknesses as well as your strengths. To highlight how you dealt with your failures as well as your successes. Who can talk about your character and how you did things; not just your skills and what you did.

To do this I recommend the following steps:

• Set aside time – give yourself at least an hour of uninterrupted time
• Find a quiet place – select an environment to help you, most importantly somewhere you will not be disturbed.
• Engage your emotions as well as your mind – imagine what it would be like at your funeral and use your empathy to see yourself from another’s perspective
• Write – capture your thoughts as they come. It does not necessarily need to be coherent as a first draft
• Reflect – once you have run out of words think about what you have written. What are the underlying virtues that define your life? Which values best encompass the themes of your story?

You might want to compare this with other ways of exploring your values. If you want some examples of other exercises then you can find them in the article: What Are Your Personal Values?

Better than an action plan

By identifying your eulogy virtues, you create your own moral bucket list. This is a bucket list beyond just personal achievements. Life goals are great, but more important are the values we live by, the things that define why we do things and how we behave as we pursue our goals, whether we achieve them or not.

So, take time to reflect on your eulogy values. How do you want to be remembered? Identify and hold onto those virtues. Keep them in mind as you dive back into the busyness of your day. They will guide you through the winds and the waves, the calms, and the storms.

Work is a reality of life. The vast majority of people will spend a large portion of their life earning money in some job or another. The average person spends more than 90,000 hours at work in their lifetime (Psychology Today) so it makes sense that we should be doing something that gives us satisfaction as well as paying the bills. Getting the right job is therefore one of the big life goals and when we choose our profession or change our career we want to get it right.

“I think my job interview to be a bug sorter went well. I boxed all the right ticks.”

Where are you and what are you doing in your dreams?

So you are sitting at your desk, staring out the window; what are you dreaming about? Where do you picture yourself? Our daydreams can be a good indication of our yearnings, they can give insight into places we want to go and the people we want to be. What would you do if money and time were no object? What would you do if you had your time over again? Who would you most like to be like? What do you love doing, even if you are not being paid to do it? When have you had the greatest job satisfaction? Who would you most like to work with? Start making notes about what you want to do and this becomes a picture of where you want to end up, a personal vision statement. Then you can start to consider if you can make it a practical reality.

If you want to read more about realising your dreams then click here: Where: Visions and Dreams

Why do you want a career change?

One very important thing to explore is your motivation for changing career. Why do you want a different job? Is there some compelling reason or are you just bored? Are you looking for something that aligns with your values or do you just think the grass is greener in another company or position? It is important to remember that there is an aspect of work that is always going to be just that, work, no matter how much you love what you do. No job or business is without its challenges and pitfalls so don’t expect a job change to magically transform all your problems, you may well find you take the problems with you.

As you start to refine your search to a specific job or company have a look and see whether your ideals and values are aligned with that business. Many people forget to do this and then wonder why they feel unhappy in their work, even when the job description seems to be just right for them. On balance, you are probably going to be happier in a place where people share the same values as you, than just somewhere with the right job title.

If you want to read more about values then click here: Why: Values and Priorities

“If a man loves the labour of his trade, apart from any question of success or fame, the gods have called him.”  Robert Louis Stevenson.

What is your dream job?

Once you have an idea of where you want to end up you can start to be more specific about the work, job, career or vocation you need to get you there. Look at the answers to the questions about your dreams and why you want to change careers and then put a job title or description to those notes. This is an important step in turning dreams into reality. You are defining success, giving yourself a definitive mission. Once you have something to aim for you are much more likely to hit the target.

If you want to read more about defining success you can read this: What: Mission and Success

How should you land your new job?

Once you know the job you want then you start to need making a plan to get the job. You know where you are going, now take stock of where you are. Update your CV (curriculum vitae) or resume and see how suited it is to the job you want. Would you hire a person with your resume for the position you want? How could you tailor your CV to better suit the career you want? Are there gaps in your training, qualifications or experience that you could fill?

For more advice of writing a CV or resume click here: How to write a CV or resume

For information on the sorts of skills employers are looking for click here: Core competencies

Who do you know who can help?

It is a commonly used phrase that ‘it is not what you know but who you know’ that is important and this is frequently true in the job market. A large proportion of jobs – and arguably the best ones – are landed through networking rather than classified adds and job listings. Who do you know in the industry you want to work in? If you don’t know anyone directly then are there any friends or friends? Now is the time to use social media to your advantage. LinkedIn is particularly good for finding people and if you don’t know them directly you can join a group relevant to the industry you are pursuing and meet up with people there. Don’t ask people for a job; ask them for advice. No one is going to be offended if you ask them for advice. I have had plenty of coffees where I have either been giving or receiving information about certain jobs. These conversations may not lead directly to a job but they will help to answer questions and perhaps lead to other contacts.

If you want to read more about networking you can read this: Who: Your network and key relationships

When is the best time to move jobs?

Most of the time the best time to quit your job is when you have another one lined up. I always advise people not to jump ship until they have sorted out some further work. This is because it is very hard to follow your dreams if you are constantly worried about how to pay day to day bills. A good redundancy package can soften the landing but I know plenty of people who have still been scrabbling around for work as the money disappears. You may not have the choice, you may have unemployment thrust upon you. If that is the case then try to make the best use of your new found freedom to prepare for the job you want. Get an extra qualification or look at voluntary work placements that can help you further your experience (if paid ones are not available).

If you are looking for a specific position or opening you may have to wait anyway. The more specific the thing you want to do, the fewer the openings there are likely to be. Use your time to line yourself up as best you can but the wait will be more comfortable if you have an income.

If you want to read more about the importance of timing click here: When: Timing

Which way should you take to achieve your goal?

There are multiple paths you can choose from to get to your objective. It is worth thinking through the alternative ways that you could achieve a goal as significant as a career change. When changing career you may not be able to step directly into your dream job. There may be one or more intermediate jumps you need to go through, especially if you are changing the sector or industry you are working in. It is like using stepping stones to cross a river; there may be various options, and you may have to even make a sideways step at times, but you can still make progress towards your goal if you keep focussed on where you want to end up.

If you want to read more about exploring options and brainstorming different courses of actions click here: Which: Options

If you want further advice on career change I would recommend that you read “What colour is your parachute?” by Richard N. Bolles. You can click on title link above or the picture below to buy a copy from Amazon.