Being self-aware requires time. What’s more, to connect thoughtfully, spiritually and emotionally with ourselves (let alone others and our environment) does not always come easily.

Therefore, it is important to find ways we can be more mindful in everyday activities. The exemplar of using mundane activities as spiritual opportunities was probably Brother Lawrence (author of The Practice of the Presence of God) who was able to pray while doing the dishes. I, for one, struggle with achieving this level of mindfulness!

Where I do feel more naturally thoughtful and mindful is outdoors. This is why I find walking a great help for personal and spiritual reflection.

“There is not in the world a kind of life more sweet and delightful, than that of a continual conversation with God; those only can comprehend it who practise and experience it.” Brother Lawrence

Prayerful Pilgrims

The concept of mindful walking can be traced back to religious practices such as pilgrimage. People of various faiths have used pilgrimages to holy sites to be opportunities to examine themselves, as well as demonstrating their spiritual commitment.

There is a growing interest in pilgrimages, as can be seen in the growing popularity of traditional Christian routes such as the Camino de Santiago (in France and Spain), The Pilgrims Way (UK) or the Way of St Francis (Italy).

“We are the Pilgrims, master; we shall go
Always a little further; it may be
Beyond that last blue mountain barred with snow
Across that angry or that glimmering sea”

James Elroy Flecker

These long, multi-day or multi-week walks, allow separation from the busyness of life that can allow quality self-reflection and opportunity for deep spiritual connection. But unfortunately, we don’t all have the opportunity or the time to do a full pilgrimage.

Mindful Mazes

One lesser-known, fascinating way to have a mindful walk, is to use a labyrinth. A labyrinth is a physical path or a track you follow, with stop-off points to allow reflection. The inspiration at each station could be a piece of text, an object, some music, or anything else that engages the senses and triggers the imagination. In this process, people can start to connect their ‘being’ to their ‘doing’ and deeply consider vital themes and ideas.

Labyrinths are often designed into properties such as old cathedrals or country houses, the most famous example probably being at Chartres Cathedral in France.

Creating your own mindful walk

Even without a labyrinth on hand, you can create your own mindful walk using the same principles. I have found that in this way one can replicate being more mindful on a walk, no matter where you are.

If you are anything like me, then generally you like to stride out and make progress when you walk. Taking time to pause can be almost physically painful! Therefore, it is a discipline to stop, and use my senses on these types of walk.

If you want to try and do the same, you can try this. Go for a wander, it does not matter where really but you want to be somewhere you can avoid or ignore interruptions. You also want places where you can stop and think without feeling too self-conscious.

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Questions for Reflection

When you find a place to stop, then look for something that can help you be more mindful. For example, to help you could:

• Pick up or touch a small object such as a pebble or leaf. How does it feel? How was it made, or how did it get there? What role does it play in the larger environment? Answer the same questions for yourself.
• Smell a blossom or fresh-cut grass. What memory does it invoke? What were you like then? How have you changed?
• Listen to the wind or some flowing water. How does that make you feel? Do you feel better or worse? How do you want to feel?

There are of course many other questions you could ask; these are just examples. You can be very specific if you want and use objects to think about an issue that is on your mind. On the other hand, sometimes the best results come from just meditating on the object and letting the thoughts come on their own.

Why not go for a walk now and give it a try?

“The possession of knowledge does not kill the sense of wonder and mystery. There is always more mystery.” Anais Nin

When was the last time you failed as a leader? How long ago was it; weeks, days, (hours)? I certainly don’t have to think very far back to find failure.

I was listening to Brené Brown’s excellent book ‘Dare to Lead’ and thought I would take a few minutes to pause and reflect on when my practice of leadership has not lived up to my theoretical ideal. Within minutes I had a scary number of examples. So, in the spirit of writing what you need to read, here as some of my failures.

I have led in various professional contexts for more decades than I care to mention. My experiences as a leader have been some of the most rewarding and enriching in my life, but my time as a leader is also littered with mistakes.

If you want to be a leader, get used to failure! Let me amend that: As a leader get used to failure, and get good at learning from it.

Failing to achieve a task is one thing but I have also frequently failed to maintain my own standards and values. These are the most painful failures of all. So I thought I would start there in terms of sharing.

I have failed through anger, shame, faking it, lack of courage and basically trying to be something I am not. Insecurity has haunted me, in one form or another, the whole time.

So, I’m here to air my dirty washing (that’s what you are waiting for right?) I have started with some from earlier in life and progressed (or regressed) from there. My genuine hope is that by sharing this you can learn from my mistakes and avoid a few yourself. And, if you can’t avoid the mistakes, hopefully we can just learn better together.

“It’s fine to celebrate success but it’s more important to heed the lessons of failure”

Bill Gates

Failure to develop others

Were you in Scouts or Guides when you were younger? I loved being in the Scouts (the Guides would not have me) and it gave me one of my earliest opportunities to lead. As a Cub Scout I rose to the lofty height of ‘Sixer’ with responsibility to lead our team of six (or so) fellow cubs.

So how did I do this? My memories are that my main leadership technique at the time involved the threat of violence. Shocking I know, on so many different levels!

And when I think back I simply ask myself, why on earth did I pick such an approach?

I was not big or strong. Violence was certainly not the approach taken by the leaders and role models around me. Thinking back I have to put it down to my own insecurity. For one reason or another I wanted to appear strong, to be something I was not; so I used the little strength I had in the wrong way. I used it to instil fear, rather than to protect.

I got compliance, but I missed out on the opportunity to create an environment where people felt safe to grow and learn. So much of leadership is about seeing the potential in others and creating the space for them to reach that potential. That is how I should have used my strength.

Failure to discipline others

Anyone else have a position of responsibility at school? One of other early opportunities I had to lead and to learn was as a prefect. In my final year of school, before university, I was one of the top tier prefects with the power to discipline (or punish) fellow pupils. What could possibly go wrong!

There was one particular group of boys in the year below mine who were always giving me (and others) trouble. One day they were walking along with their hands in their pockets, which at that school was practically a capital offence. Yes, it was a strict school. I said something, probably not in the most graceful manner, and I got a less than graceful reply.

I immediately told the group that they would receive a punishment, to be done later that day, which involved re-painting some school equipment.

The punishment did not really fit the crime. There was no real benefit from it for anyone – it wasted all our time. In my eagerness to punish I also did not properly set them up to do the job so I failed in my delegation of the task too.

Looking back I realise that I should not have punished them, I should have disciplined them. And there lies the subtle difference.

I could have done something clever such as tasking them to do the prefect job and for them to have responsibility to set the standards. I could have worked alongside them, setting an example and maybe even winning them around.

A lost opportunity but a lesson learned, by me at least. Discipline and punishment are not necessarily the same. Punishment often happens out of anger and the desire for retribution. Instead, a good leader disciplines people. Not only to maintain standards, but also to help people to develop in character and be disciplined by themselves. I think it took me becoming a parent to truly understand the need to discipline out of love.

Failure to practice what I preach

I have always enjoyed adventurous activities and alongside my more corporate roles I have worked as an expedition leader and outdoor instructor.

One time I was with some friends and instructing them in rock climbing. I was known for being the ‘outdoor guy’ and so was happy to show off my skills. As they were my friends I took a casual approach and did not think to prepare the session or work through what I was going to teach.

Realising I needed to do some basic rope work before we started ascending I decided to demonstrate how to secure yourself to the rock. I did not go through the procedure properly, I just casually clipped in, not paying attention to what I was connecting to and the next second I was falling off the rock and bouncing off the boulders below.

Fortunately it was not a big fall and, apart from a few bruises, the biggest damage was to my pride. All my friends were having a good laugh at my expense.

It is easy to cut corners and tell people to ‘do what I say not what I do’ but in the end this catches you out. I have always aspired to be someone of integrity who ‘walks the talk’ but this is just one case of how I failed to live up to my own standards. I have learned that you can’t take on the role of leader without taking on the responsibility too, even if you are taking the lead among friends or in a more informal setting.

Failure to take criticism

At the start of my professional career I was an Officer in the British Army. My first role was as a Bomb Disposal Officer in the Royal Engineers.

This of course is a fact that I am very proud to share. What I am less proud to share is that I failed one part of my bomb disposal course.

As well as all the theory, to get qualified, we had to conduct bomb disposal tasks under exercise conditions with non-explosive ordnance. We took it in turns to take the lead and after completing a task the instructors would de-brief us on our performance.

I failed on my first task, mainly due to the actions of one of my team members who was under my command. I was told in the de-briefing that I had failed due to my lack of leadership.

That really stung, especially as the instructor for my task happened to be of a more junior rank than me. I was fuming that this person could critique my leadership when I had obviously had more training and practice in leading than they had!

The anger and resentment I felt was carried into further tasks and I ended up failing and having to re-take that aspect of the course.

I have always been sensitive to criticism but I hope I have a more mature way of dealing with it now. Looking back the instructor was not saying I could not lead, just that I could – and should – have led better in that situation. We may have had different preferred styles of leadership but in the end they were right, and even if they weren’t, I should have responded better to the criticism. I acted petulantly and in the end the only person it really hurt was myself.

You need correct data to make effective decisions. The same is true for improving ourselves; we have to get honest feedback if we are going to know how to change for the better. As leaders we must genuinely seek constructive criticism and reflect on how we can do better.

Failure to reflect

To lead requires courage: courage to go, to fail, to learn and to go again.

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”

Winston Churchill

If you do not take the time to reflect and learn you are at risk of making the same mistakes. Then, even if we do keep going, we do so at the risk of not achieving our goal or failing the members of our team, and ourselves.

Through much of my time in leadership I have failed to properly reflect and learn from my failures. But I am getting better at it, slowly. The process of writing has really improved this discipline for me.

So, if you are a leader too – in whatever context – I would encourage you to write. Capture some thoughts on what and how you have done; whether it is a private journal, a slightly less private blog, or writing an article like this for the whole world to see!

When I started drafting this I had a long list of examples and I have only expanded on the first few. There are many more! If this post is helpful then I am very happy to continue on and share some more experiences so do let me know.

I have just been away on what I would call a retreat in the Dolomites, the beautiful Italian mountains. There I was surrounded by the glory of nature and removed from the constant demands of work. Sounds a bit like a vacation, doesn’t it?

What is a retreat?

What does it mean to go on a retreat? It is not quite like a holiday, but it is a break from usual work. The difference is in the purpose. The idea of going on a retreat has spiritual origins. It is the physical removal of self from normal life to allow time for contemplation. The idea might be to reflect on character, purpose, values, motivation, or a combination of similar things. A lot of people go on organised retreats at special centres and with groups but it can also be done individually, as I have done.

A retreat is not fleeing in the face of adversity or running away from trouble. The military concept of a retreat (not a rout and fleeing in the face of the enemy) is a good analogy. A retreat, or withdrawal, is a considered action. It is a purposeful stepping back from the front line to allow time to regroup, recuperate and reconsider plans.

So, what is the purpose of my retreat? I was away to recharge my batteries, find space to think creatively and to reflect. I find that when I get some distance I can examine my plans and decisions from a different perspective.

Re-energising

Rest is important. It is critical to performance and yet we often neglect our own rest, particularly our sleep. If you are not convinced that you need at least seven hours of sleep per night to be at your best then you need to read Why We Sleep by Dr Matthew Walker.

Therefore, it is important to protect our downtime if we want to maintain our ability to perform well. I have learned that I need to put breaks into my diary – be that daily, weekly, monthly, or yearly – so that they become protected space and don’t get forced out by other needs. For example, this week of retreat has been blocked out in my calendar for months. If it hadn’t been then it would have been swallowed up in work.

Taking time out can feel like a dip in productivity, but actually, the re-energising and other benefits of resting increase our output in the long run. It also helps us avoid burnout.

For me an important part of the re-energising process is exercise. I have never been one for just lying on the beach, even when on vacation, and so on retreat I also like to keep active. This is not just a preference though. As scientists, such as Professor Jeff Edwards have shown, that physical exercise not only increases our energy levels, and improves our stamina, it also invigorates the brain, improves memory and reduces stress. And the exercise does not need to be overly strenuous (not all the time at least); walking is a prime example of an easy exercise that has a host of benefits.

I find it very hard to exercise in the gym for more than an hour. Generally, my workouts average 30-40 minutes. But in the mountains, the hours can slip by. Just walking up a hill can keep me in a constant aerobic state, pushing the body, but at a sustainable pace. It’s a great way to keep in shape. If you want to shed some pounds, then go and pound the trails in the hills!

Creative space

A retreat also gives time to think. The busyness and stresses of everyday life can stifle thought, particularly creativity and effective decision-making. Therefore, we need to make space to think, even to allow our minds to wander. When we give ourselves occasion for our thoughts to drift it allows the subconscious to work and new ideas will surface.

To help this creative process I love to be out in the natural world. And I am not alone here. From Hippocrates to Wordsworth, Newton to Steve Jobs, great thinkers, poets, and leaders down through the years have used the power of walking and the inspiration of nature for this purpose.

I find being out in creation feeds the senses as well as being a balm for the soul. When I walk and I let my thoughts drift my senses then become alive to the external world. The smell of wet grass or meadow flowers. The sound of wind through the trees, of rain drumming on the tent. Feeling the crunch of leaves underfoot or the rock beneath the fingers when climbing. And taste? No food tastes better or a drink sweeter than after an adventure!

So, if you want to think more creatively then take a walk on the wild side; get out of the home or the office and lose yourself for a bit in the great outdoors.

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Reflecting

With the right environment and activity, that creative thought can be coupled with purposeful reflection. Creativity is not just about artistic endeavour, it is about finding new way ways of thinking about and doing things. We may even find new purpose and direction when we reflect in this way. And here lies some of the deeper power of going on a retreat.

Self-improvement starts with self-awareness, and time away to reflect allows us to consider where we are, what we are doing and why. These where, what, and why questions relate to the concepts of vision, mission, and values.

When I am away on a retreat, I think about my personal values and how they align with my decisions. I recall my dreams and reflect on my progress towards that vision. Also, I consider my life’s mission and then reflect upon how I am doing in the pursuit of that purpose. I then think about my goals and assess whether those goals are supporting my vision, values, and mission.

Having gone through this process of reflection you can then be confident that any new goals that you set, or existing goals that you refine, will be in-line with your greater direction.

If you have never considered what your values, vision or mission might be then going on a retreat is the perfect time to do just that. If you are feeling angry, unhappy, or frustrated, there is a good chance that you are out of alignment with one or all of these things. It can be very hard to create the space to even grapple with these ideas, but unless you do you run the risk of remaining trapped in a negative situation. It is very easy to do; I know this as I have personal experience with this sort of challenge or mid-life crisis.

Why not go on a retreat yourself?

So why should you go on a retreat? Going on a retreat will help to re-energise you, and give you space to think creatively, and time to reflect. If you truly want to be productive and effective in what you do (and enjoy doing it) then setting aside time to consider your life’s purpose and your personal values, vision and mission is vital. It might be you want to go on an organised retreat or, like me, to head to the mountains for a while, but have a think about what might work for you.

Worried about getting the time to go on retreat? In time gone by people have gone on retreats for long periods but even a week might seem like a lot. If that is the case, then how about a long weekend or just a weekend? If you are really struggling, then even a day can be helpful. And I can guarantee, if you take that space – however long you can manage – and use the time well, then you will feel the benefit and want to do it again. Chances are that then, the next time, you will find some more time.

If you want help in organising a specialist leadership retreat for you or your team, then please do drop me a line via that Contact Page. I am presently planning some structured walking retreats (using trails such as the Camino de Santiago) if that piques your interest!