How do we best learn? That may be a question you have not considered before, but it is certainly important. If we want to be in a growth mindset, we need to ensure we are developing effectively. It turns out that effective learning happens cyclically, in a continual loop, and that is what David Kolb’s learning cycle helps us to embrace.

I find Kolb’s learning cycle useful on several levels. Firstly, it gives insight into my preferred learning style. Secondly, it helps me as a leader and coach, supporting the development of others. Thirdly, it informs how I construct the leadership education programmes that I deliver at businesses, universities and in the military. You will soon see how you can apply it too.

What is the Kolb cycle of learning?

Kolb’s learning cycle is a conceptual model that explains learning from the perspective of experiential learning theory. As you would expect, experiential learning is education through experience and the application of knowledge. As Kolb himself puts it:

“Learning is the process whereby knowledge is created through the transformation of experience” – David Kolb

Kolb’s model is a four-stage learning cycle and has four associated learning styles. We will explore this in more detail a bit later.

Why is Kolb’s learning cycle important?

Following extensive research at the Weatherhead School of Management (Ohio), David A. Kolb published his learning cycle in 1984 as part of his influential book, ‘Experiential Learning: Experience As The Source Of Learning And Development’. Since then, Kolb’s learning cycle has become probably the best-known and most respected learning model among educators, academics, and laypeople alike.

Kolb’s experiential learning theory is based on psychology and approaches developed by the likes of Lewin, Jung, and Dewey. Kurt Lewin, the gestalt psychologist was an expert in mindset change. Carl Jung, the analytical psychologist, developed the ideas of personality type, and the concepts of introversion and extroversion, which both relate to learning styles. John Dewey, the philosopher, and educational reformer was also a proponent of experiential learning.

Beyond the field of educational psychology, there are other obvious influences and useful comparisons. Kolb’s learning cycle reflects a decision-making process and is almost synonymous with John Boyd’s OODA loop (Observe, Orientate, Decide, Act). There are also similarities with Eric Rees’s Lean Start-up model, as the Think, Make, Check process is a learning cycle too.

What are the 4 stages of Kolb’s learning cycle?

The four stages of Kolb’s learning cycle are:

1. Concrete Experience (CE)
2. Reflective Observation (RO)
3. Abstract Conceptualisation (AC)
4. Active Experimentation (AE)

Effective learning is only achieved when the loop is completed. But, the loop can be entered at any point, as long as the full cycle is accomplished.

Kolb’s 4-Stage Learning Cycle (by author)

Here is a further explanation of each stage.

Concrete experience

A concrete experience (CE) is a new experience or similar experience under new circumstances. The key element is some sort of novelty in the situation that promotes a learning opportunity.

Reflective observation

Reflective observation (RO) is the mental process of assessing the situation with existing knowledge and identifying gaps in understanding.

Abstract conceptualisation

The next stage is abstract conceptualisation (AC) where a new or modified idea is introduced to address the intellectual gap. This abstract concept takes the form of a mental model.

Active experimentation

The fourth stage is active experimentation (AE) where the new or modified mental model is implemented into the new situation. The approach is one of experimentation, where the learner observes what happens so that the cycle can start again, and further adaptations can be incorporated as needed.

What is an example of Kolb’s learning cycle?

We can illustrate how this cycle works by taking the example of playing a video game. I am a fan of many computer games but let us take the ever-popular Supercell app, Clash Royale, as a specific example in this case. For those who don’t know (and suffer an addition to) Clash Royale, then in simple terms, it is a strategy game where you battle other players in real-time online, with a limited deck of attack cards. Here is a simple application of the Kolb model in this scenario.

1. Concrete experience. I start a game and enter a battle with another player.

• Reflective observation. With my chosen deck I see the effect of the battle cards I chose and how they fare against the opposition. I think about when, where, and how I place the cards, drawing upon previous experience of playing the game or similar games.
• Abstract conceptualisation. Depending on how my strategy performs (but particularly if it goes badly) I will think about changing my deck to select other cards that might perform better in another match.
• Active experimentation. I will start a fresh match with my new deck and experiment with how the alternative cards perform as compared to my old deck. But inevitably this new experience will be against a new player with a slightly different deck to the last one played and so the cycle begins again.

Hopefully, you can see from this how easily the model can apply to everyday situations. Think about experiences you have had today; that could be commuting, cooking, practising a musical instrument, writing or one of a thousand other things. What novel circumstance promoted the learning loop for you in that experience and what was the outcome?

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What are Kolb’s 4 learning styles?

Four learning styles complement the four stages of the Kolb learning cycle. In my mind, these are less useful than the cycle, but they are still worth considering. The learning styles, as they relate to the learning cycle, are:

1. Diverging (CE/RO)
2. Assimilating (AC/RO)
3. Converging (AC/AE)
4. Accommodating (CE/AE)

These terms need unpacking a little more so here is each in turn:

Diverging – feel and watch

The Diverging preference is predominant in the CE and RO phases of the cycle. People with this preference are often sensitive, open to different perspectives, like idea generation and brainstorming, and are imaginative and in touch emotionally.

Assimilating – think and watch

Assimilators prefer the reflective observation and abstract conceptualisation stages. They tend to be concise, and logical, want a clear explanation, and access to a wide range of information. They have a tendency towards science, reading and analysis.

Converging – think and do

The Converging style concentrates on the abstract conceptualisation and active experimentation phases. People with this preference like practical issues, problem-solving, and taking a hands-on approach. They tend to be technically minded and gifted.

Accommodating – feel and do

Those with the Accommodating style particularly enjoy the active experimentation and concrete experience elements of the cycle. They use intuition rather than logic, relish new challenges and experiences and often prefer to rely on others for getting knowledge and data.

What is my preferred learning style?

According to Kolb, we all have a preferred learning style and after reading the descriptions above there is a good chance you will have an idea of which one best depicts you. For example, I tend to reflect before I do which makes assimilation my preference. By contrast, my wife loves to do and would be closer to the accommodating preference. Suffice to say, in any team (and there I include the family) it is good to have a range of preferences.

The four learning styles are based on the psychology of Carl Jung (as mentioned earlier) and his ideas on personality preferences for how we understand and interact with the world. You might recognise some of the terminologies if you have done a personality test such as the Myers-Briggs (MBTI) profile. Doing and watching relate to introversion and extraversion. Similarly, experience and conceptualisation relate to feeling and thinking. For those familiar with the work of Honey and Mumford (The Manual of Learning Styles, 1986) you will also see parallels with their ‘activist’, ‘reflector’, ‘theorist’, and ‘pragmatist’ typology.

I mentioned before that I feel that these preferences are – on balance – less useful than the cycle and that is because I don’t like to put people into boxes. Preferences are just that, preferences, not exact types. Styles relate to a rough spectrum that has flexibility, rather than a box with firm boundaries, but we often forget that when it comes to personality profiles. This can lead to unhelpful assumptions such as “I can’t learn that way because I am this particular type.” That would be a wrong assumption; we all have elements of each type and need to engage through each stage of the learning cycle.

Every day is a school day

I love the phrase, “every day is a school day” as it sums up the growth mindset. We should all seek to be in learning mode with every new day and new experience. But as John Dewey points out,

The belief that all genuine education comes about through experience does not mean that all experiences are genuinely or equally educative.

 John Dewey

Kolb’s learning cycle gives us a model to ensure that experiences can be educative. If we take the concrete experience, apply reflective observation, build our abstract concepts, and apply them in active experimentation, then we can be sure to learn, develop and educate ourselves effectively – whatever our preferred learning style.

So, what new thing can you learn today? Have fun!

The importance of goal setting, for better productivity and psychology, is well-known and documented. What is less well-known is the concept of Goldilocks goals. These are goals that are not too hard and not too easy. They are just right.

The Benefits of Setting Goals and Achieving Them

Goals (when chosen correctly) are beneficial as they give us a target with direction and focus. Goals are a tool we use to bring about change in ourselves and the world around us. They are a tangible measure of action, improvement, and achievement.

And goals can be more than just a good productivity hack. Setting and achieving goals supports good mental health by giving us a sense of purpose and then triggering the release of positive neurotransmitters such as dopamine when we succeed. What’s more, goal setting is related to having a growth mindset. We need to set and fulfil targets to remain in learning mode and continue our personal improvement.

How to Set the Right Type of Goal

So, setting and achieving goals can be highly beneficial, but we do have to set the right type of goals. We need to set ourselves targets that stretch us (forcing us to grow) but they do need to be achievable. Goals can be bold, such as the Big Hairy Audacious Goals (BHAG) advocated by Jim Collins (author of Good to Great), but however big the idea is, it still needs to be broken down into actionable steps.

Therefore, if we want to benefit from all the benefits of goals — the productivity gains of setting them as well as the positive effects of achieving them — then we need to set what I call Goldilocks goals. These are goals that are not too easy but are also not completely unrealistic.

These Goldilocks goals can be ambitious, right on the edge of what we might believe is even possible, but then we must employ the important next step, that of chunking the goal down to make it manageable. For example, we might set ourselves the goal of climbing Mount Everest but there are hundreds, if not thousands, of intermediate tasks we need to complete in order to succeed.

Making Big Goals Achievable

When I coach people and they set stretch goals I help them to break down the overall mission and identify what is the most important next step they need to take. Ideally, this is a simple task, one that might only take a few minutes, such as making a phone call or drafting a message. By effectively breaking down the goal, and then achieving one small element of that overall vision, you gain momentum and a sense of achievement. In fact (as you have probably guessed) you already start to get the positive productivity and psychological benefits of goal setting but achieving these subordinate actions.

The other important advantage of this process is overcoming the mental barrier of what the Scandinavians call the ‘doorstep mile’. Psychologically, the hardest part of a journey (or achieving a goal) is making the first move; it is stepping out the door and taking the first steps (just ask Bilbo Baggins!) If a task seems too daunting, we might never make the first move. So, ensure the first step is the easiest one, then build from there.

If You Are Struggling, Break the Goal Down Even Further

This concept also helps us when we are losing heart on the way to achieving a goal. When we are trying to accomplish something really challenging, we can sometimes lose heart or momentum as time drags on, particularly if we don’t feel we are making the progress we want or when we hit unforeseen obstacles. This is another time when breaking down the goals into ever smaller (achievable) elements is vital.

One example I can draw is my experience of running ultra-marathons. When you are running in excess of 100 kilometres, often over difficult terrain, there are times when you feel pretty low. Exhaustion, negative thoughts, and injuries build up. At times like these, I have dismissed the overall idea of finishing (let alone winning) the race and changed my goals to something as small as “I am going to run the next 100 metres.” I might even then reward myself by walking for 100 metres before setting the next goal. There have been many times when this approach has helped me ride through the physical and psychological low points and — in most cases — go on to succeed in my overall desire. In the case of ultra-races, it has helped me complete courses in excess of 320 km in length.

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The Need to Set Both Internal and External Goals

But there are times — even when we pick a good Goldilocks goal and effectively break it down into steps — when we may not succeed. That is because we cannot control every factor in our lives, let alone the world. And this is where internal goals come into play.

Internal goals are goals that we set in parallel to the overall (external) goal. Internal goals are ones that are not dictated by external circumstances, they are things more under our control. For example, we might have a tough meeting coming up such as a negotiation for a job role. Our overall goal might be the agreement of a new work contract that includes all the benefits we aspire to but, as there are other people involved, we cannot guarantee that result. Therefore, we keep the overall goal but also set an internal goal. In this case, we might set an internal goal of improving our communication skills. This is something that is under our control and the experience — however well it goes — can be a source of learning.

Subsequently, when setting goals, we can set a main goal (something to be achieved in the external world) and then a complementary internal goal (something we control in our mind). This helps us avoid amygdala hijack where we become overloaded by noradrenaline.

By setting an internal goal, one that we can achieve no matter what happens, we guarantee that we can still benefit from the positive aspects of goal achievement — such as getting the neurological dopamine hit and another deposit into the psychological bank of success — even if events conspire against us.

What is Your Goal? What is Your Goldilocks Goal?

So remember, when you are setting your next goal remember to do these things:

1. Pick a Goldilocks goal; not too easy but not too hard. It should stretch you but not be completely unachievable.
2. Break that Goldilocks goal down into smaller, more manageable actions.
3. Make sure you make the first activity an easy one so you can take the first step and start making progress towards your overall goal.
4. If you are struggling at any point, break down the action into even smaller elements.
5. Set yourself internal goals; psychological goals that you have complete control over, as well as the external overall goal or action.

In this way, you are not only more likely to succeed, but you will also benefit from the process no matter what happens. You will be both more productive and in better shape mentally.

Now, what about today? Think of a challenging task you want to achieve in the next 24 hours. What internal goal could you set alongside this activity? Take a few seconds and set that goal now. Well done! Your mind will thank you for it later!

When I was about ten years old, I decided to run away from home and ran (unexpectedly) into an ethical issue. I can’t remember exactly why I wanted to run away (as my life wasn’t exactly bad) but I do remember that I strolled out of the house carrying nothing but a penknife. I was obviously confident in my survival skills and overly trusting that warm weather would continue!

With my elementary school logic, I decided that a hole in the ground – in the woods not far from my house – was the obvious place to start my new life. As this den was also known to my friends it was not long before one stumbled across me as I cleared the twigs from my future bed space.

“What are you doing?” My friend asked me. “Making camp.” I replied, “I have run away from home so don’t tell anyone!”

My friend wandered off and I continued working. Then, about twenty minutes later my friend arrived back. Behind him stood my dad. I remember looking into my friend’s eyes, feeling betrayed but also knowing they had done the right thing. I was outraged and relieved all at the same time.

What are ethics and why are they important?

At that stage in life, I had no idea what ethics was, but I did intuitively know that my friend made a courageous moral decision that day. Ethics is simply that; it is making good or right choices. That includes big ethical dilemmas, such should we limit artificial intelligence or genetic engineering, right through to more everyday choices, such as whether you help yourself to extra stationery at the office for personal use at home.

Making good decisions is not easy. We might have an intuitive feel of what is right or wrong but sometimes the answer is not obvious. This is particularly the case when various values come under tension.

Taking my running away as an example, my friend had to balance the value of loyalty against that of care. Loyalty might have persuaded them to keep quiet as I had shared something in confidence, but out of care for me they knew the right thing was to tell my parents.

Therefore, sometimes values on their own are not sufficient. In these moments, where good values are in tension, we can employ a decision-making tool to help make the best ethical choice.

How to make ethical decisions

One such technique has been developed by The Ethics Centre in Australia. The Ethics Centre is a not-for-profit organisation that promotes the use of ethics in everyday life and decision-making. They suggest a decision-making model based on considering values, principles, and purpose.

In this context (and using the wording of The Ethics Centre):

• Values tell us what’s good – they’re the things we strive for, desire, and seek to protect.
• Principles tell us what’s right – outlining how we may or may not achieve our values.
• Purpose is your reason for being – it gives life to your values and principles.

Of course, to employ this methodology you must first know what your values, principles and purpose are, so let’s take some time to consider each in turn.

Values

Values are things we give worth, things we prioritise. The values (or virtues) we aspire to come in different forms, such as:

• Personal values (the ones we prioritise as an individual)
• Corporate values (the ones we hold in a community or organization such as a company’s values)
• Universal values (ones that are held in common more globally such as the UN Charter of Human Rights)

Therefore, the starting point, when making a decision, is working out which values are the most important ones in the circumstance. If you have never properly identified your values, then I would recommend you discover your top 3 personal values.

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Principles

Principles help us think about what is right or wrong and, in this way, they complement values. These principles are essentially algorithms for behaviour. For example, when working in the British Army and considering a course of action the principles I was taught to apply can be summed up in the following question:

“Is this action lawful, appropriate, and professional?”

Many of our principles have a basis in religion. For example, one of the principles I (like many) try to live by is the Golden Rule. The Golden Rule is the idea of treating others as we would like to be treated and this precept is reflected in various spiritual traditions. For example, the Hindu Mahabharata states:

“One should never do something to others that one would regard as an injury to one’s own self.”

Mahābhārata 13.114.8

Or in the teachings of the Buddha:

“Hurt not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful.”

Udanavarga 5:18

And similarly, Jesus of Nazareth said:

“Do to others what you want them to do to you.”

Matthew 7:12

So, as with values, there are some common themes, but it is also worth reflecting upon the specific principles you hold to. This can be done systematically if you take time to reflect on how you make decisions. This reflective process will start to reveal the underlying principles you use.

If you would like to explore more on identifying and developing principles, then I recommend reading Ray Dalio’s book Principles where you can see how this process can be done on both a personal and organisational level.

Purpose

Similarly, to values and principles, there can be overlapping ideas of purpose. These might be:

• Individual purpose – your own sense of personal purpose
• Professional purpose – the specific purpose we have in a given work role
• Organisational purpose – the mission statement of a team or business your work for

To understand purpose and make it measurable it is advisable to create a clear and concise mission statement. A good purpose statement is a definition of success, within a given context.

For example, my own mission statement is:

 “To serve people by helping them unlock their leadership, in order to support them on their adventure.”

In this case, my personal purpose statement also encompasses my top three values of service, leadership, and adventure (but this does not have to be the case). For example, Oprah Winfrey’s purpose statement is:

“To be a teacher. And to be known for inspiring my students to be more than they thought they could be.”

What I find useful about this (and good purpose statements in general) is they can give a measure of success against different time scales. Both the mission statements above can be used to consider achievement in a day, week, year, or lifetime. These statements also help to analyse whether decisions have worked towards the good and successful outcome of the stated purpose.

Factors that impact good decision-making and ethical choices

Even after identifying our values, principles, and purpose, or those specific to a given ethical problem, there are still factors that can impact making a good choice. Most of these factors relate to cognitive bias, the subconscious rules of thumb we use to help us make quick decisions.

To minimise the negative impacts of cognitive bias it is worth considering the following:

• Education and training. Learn about decision-making and the different types of cognitive bias
• Diversity of thought. Bring different perspectives to a team or decision
• Build a culture that allows challenge. Create a culture around you where people are more likely to challenge or call out bad behaviour and decisions (even if that is just a good friend who will be brutally honest with you)

The three things to help you make good ethical decisions

Therefore, if you want to make ethical decisions you need to first know your values, principles, and purpose. Then, while allowing for cognitive bias, you can then balance these three elements against each other to make your choice.

This does not mean you will immediately come up with an answer. If you are new to exploring values, principles, and purpose then that will likely throw up challenges and questions to work through before you even get back to the ethical problem you are facing!

But don’t despair. The search for good outcomes and truth is a journey, not a single destination. It should inspire personal reflection, critical thinking, and the sort of discourse that Socrates would be proud of. And that quality thinking leads to good actions, and as Martin Luther King said:

“The time is always right, to do what is right.”

What are the right questions? Which questions do you need to ask if you want to lead yourself and others better? Why are the right questions important?

“A prudent question is one half of wisdom.” – Francis Bacon

Good questions are essential if we want to get the right information.

If we don’t ask the right questions we won’t get the answers we need. Without the necessary information, we won’t be able to make good decisions. If we don’t make good decisions we lose our direction, don’t achieve our goals, fail in our leadership, and can end up ineffective, unhappy, or worse.

I found out how important questions are early on in my career because my first role was being a Bomb Disposal Officer.

Nasty surprises

I was just savouring a coffee from my newly purchased coffee maker when a wide-eyed and out of breath soldier stumbled into my makeshift office. My cup was poised in my hand – the aroma was fantastic – and the thought of drinking it was more alluring than anything I could imagine that this solider might interrupt me with. “This had better be good”, I thought.

“Sir! There is a suspicious package at the gates of the camp!”

I put the cup down; coffee time was over.

It was Bosnia in 2001, and I was a young Lieutenant in the Royal Engineers leading the Explosive Ordnance Disposal (bomb disposal) team in the local region. The conflict in Bosnia had died down some time ago so we were there mainly to clear up the mess that a war leaves behind, namely the mines, mortar bombs and other explosives that littered the countryside. But in the post 9/11 world, the threat of terrorist attack was at the forefront of people’s minds. In this context, an unexplained bag, right up against the front gates of a military camp, was screaming out ‘IED!’ (Improvised Explosive Device), and required immediate and serious attention.

Red wire or blue wire?

Therefore, I went to take control of the scene and do an initial threat assessment. I met the guard commander and asked him some questions such as:

Where exactly was the package?

What did it look like?

Who had seen it first?

When had it been found?

Why was it suspicious?

How had it got there?

Very quickly a picture emerged that put my mind at ease.

One of the guards had seen an old and infirm lady dropping off the parcel. Upon questioning the local interpreters, I found out that this lady was well known to them (as she was a little eccentric) and that she had made similar deliveries before. It was more than likely that this was just a gift for the soldiers.

A short trip to visit the lady at her house confirmed that yes, she had just dropped off some biscuits for the troops. It just so happened that she thought that dropping off a ‘surprise’ in an unmarked bag, unannounced, at the front gate to a military base was a good thing to do!

After establishing all of this I was able to go back, safely deal with the package (no, I didn’t eat or blow up the biscuits), give the all-clear, and return the security levels to normal. I thanked the lady for the kind thought and gift but asked her to refrain from such ‘surprise’ generosity in the future.

So, the right question was not ‘do we cut the red or the blue wire?’ In fact, the right questions were not technical ones at all.

The importance of questions

When you consider your life is under threat then it is very important to properly assess a situation. You have to overcome the ‘fight or flight’ response and use the decision space – the gap between stimulus and response – to work out what to do. In the time given you have to make an assessment. Asking the right questions and getting the right answers is essential before launching into action.

The military, the emergency services and medical services know this and train personnel in decision making. By employing decision making processes and then applying in exercises and real-life situations, to build up experience, such people can become expert decision-makers and can make quick, effective decisions even in high risk environments.

Outside of careers that deal with life-threatening situations very few people get training in asking questions and making decisions, despite that research time and again sights such competencies to be essential to employees and particularly leaders and managers (Harrell, Barbato). The need for decision-making is often expressed in other terms such as:

• The need for analysing and overcoming problems (Zenger, Folkman),
• Taking the initiative (Maxwell),
• Setting direction and goals (Giles),
• Good prioritisation (Covey),
• Having a clear vision and strategy for the team (Rumelt)

But all these things are related to or dependent upon good decision-making. And, what’s more, these things all come together in the realm of coaching and personal development. For senior executives and C-suite leaders, this is particularly true, as coaching at this level provides structured time to think and make the most important decisions for their work and life as a whole.

Do we need decision making tools?

We generally take decision making for granted, after all we each make thousands of decisions every day, some conscious, some unconscious, and rarely need to apply more than our intuition to a problem. But there is a problem. Research, particularly by influential figures such as Daniel Kahneman, has demonstrated that our intuition is amazing but has limits.

Therefore understanding decision making and how to make good decisions is critical to all of us, and good decision making starts with good questions.

The problem with many processes and tools, including those used for decision making, is that they are often non-intuitive and hard to remember. That is why we should start with what we already know and structures that are already embedded.

“A problem well put is half solved.”

John Dewey

Start with the questions you already know

When I was training as a Bomb Disposal Officer we were taught a question technique called the ‘Five Ws’ which we used when we approached an incident. The ‘Five Ws’ is an interrogative style employed primarily by journalists and police officers but it is a framework that can be used by anyone to make an appreciation of a given situation.

The idea is that by asking open questions you are more likely to get factual answers by avoiding presuppositions. The simple idea of just having the ‘Five Ws’ of What? Where? When? Who? Why? (along with the added H of ‘How?’) provides an easy to remember checklist that is a useful starting point towards building a rounded picture of any circumstance.

Using Interrogatives

As I have done further research into question technique and applied the principles in my work I have found that it is also useful to add another ‘W’ – that of ‘which?’ – to the list. The ‘which?’ question covers the concept of selection (and therefore of options and risk) and helps to complete the cycle, particularly when we are planning for the future, not just examining an event that has already happened.

This makes seven questions in a total and creates a easily remembered framework. Its easy to recall as its based upon the most common interrogative words that we use in English and also because we find it harder to recall lists about seven or eight items (Buzan).

The application of the interrogatives provides a holistic approach to analysing a situation and making an informed decision. The use of these seven open questions is a technique I have dubbed The Right Questions.

Using The Right Questions

Seven questions? Surely that is too simple you say! Well, we will come back to that point but the simplicity is a large part of the system’s strength. But, as with any tool or model, the technique is only as good as its application and it is this application of the questions that we need to explore in more depth.

When you learn how to apply the system it is very flexible. My starting point when faced with a challenge – whether it is developing a business case, starting a project, or writing an article – will be to write down the seven Right Questions and start to brainstorm and explore my thoughts under each heading.

My experience of working as a coach and consultant has taught me that The Right Questions approach can be applied to everything from life direction and personal vision, to corporate strategy and organisational change.

I am passionate about serving individual and teams, helping them to face their challenges, achieve wonderful things and have fun while doing it. If I can serve you in this way then I will be fulfilling my goal.

The Quest

Understand your values, unlock your purpose, set your priorities, achieve success. Click here to sign up and get the 1st stage for free!

The right questions for life’s journey

In the journey of life we get to travel together with others at different points. Our paths merge, cross and diverge and we never quite know how long we will have to travel alongside people. However long we have, I hope that in our time travelling together I can assist you in refining your direction and encouraging you on to all the amazing things life has in store for you.

Bon voyage et Bon courage!

“The discerning heart seeks knowledge.”

Solomon

To find out more about applying and using The Right Questions framework click on the link below:

What are The Right Questions?

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References:

Buzan, T (2010) Use Your Head, London: BBC

Giles, S (2016) The Most Important Leadership Competencies, According to Leaders Around the World, Harvard Business Review

Harrell, M and Barato, L (2018) Great Managers Still Matter: The Evolution of Google’s Project Oxygen, Google/Re:work

Kahneman, D (2011) Thinking Fast and Slow, New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux

Maxwell, J C (2007) The 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader, Nashville: Thomas Nelson

Zenger, J and Folkman, J (2014) The Skills Leaders Need at Every Level, Harvard Business Review

People, and particularly philosophers, have always been interested in knowing the best questions to ask. The 5Ws  and other questioning techniques were developed as a result.

Get him to the Greek

I majored in Civil Engineering at Edinburgh University for my four years there.  But when I arrived, due to my A-Level grades, I was offered direct entry into the second year. These grades were much more of a reflection upon my excellent teachers than upon me (especially when it came to my Maths grade which was frankly miraculous). But I saw an opportunity presented by this offer and therefore immediately leapt at it.

I went into the office of my Director of Studies and duly proposed that instead of starting either year one or two of engineering, that I should study Ancient History and Archaeology instead. After all, if I did not need to do the first year of engineering surely I was free to study other things? It was not a question that he was expecting. My request was so unusual that he did not really know what to say. The moment of confusion created by my question was just enough for me to persuade him that this subject swap was not just possible, but was actually a really good idea to broaden my education.

I have always loved history and at that time I was getting increasingly interested in philosophy too.  Therefore I was excited about getting the chance to delve into the thinking arising from the ancient world, and Greece in particular.  After all, the system of thought born in Greece was foundational to the development of culture in Europe and the West.

The Grandaddy of Philosophy

“I know you won’t believe me, but the highest form of Human Excellence is to question oneself and others.” – Socrates

When studying European ancient history there are some larger than life characters that you cannot get around. Visionaries such as Alexander the Great and Julius Caesar reshaped the physical and political landscape. Others, such as Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle redefined the conceptual and intellectual environment.

Socrates was immortalized in the idealistic writings of Plato and has become something of the hero and father of Western Philosophy.  His thinking contributed to the fields of ethics, logic, and pedagogy (teaching), to name but a few.

The Socratic Method

But perhaps Socrates was most famous for being inquisitive.  He developed the ‘elenchus’, the Socratic method, a technique that was focused on stimulating critical thinking. It was primarily a tool for rhetoric, for use in debates between individuals holding opposing viewpoints.  But it was not just about setting out an argument, learning to ask questions was key to its effectiveness.

The Socratic method is often used as a ‘negative’ question technique. In other words, it seeks to undermine or disprove an opposing hypothesis.  When the person being questioned has to admit their thinking is flawed it exposes their wrong assumption and can often embarrass them.  Big shot lawyers in Hollywood courtroom dramas demonstrate the extreme of this when played out dramatically.

Socrates happily asked questions of just about anything and anybody. Socrates’ subtle yet ironic questions often revealed other people’s ignorance.  This was helpful in unpicking wrong assumptions but he became known as the ‘Gadfly’ for his persistent interrogation.  Unfortunately, his questions eventually goaded so many prominent Athenians that he was sentenced to death.

Therefore he proved that asking effective questions does not necessarily make you popular. You have to be careful not to make people feel or appear stupid. Remember also, people hold dearly to certain assumptions or beliefs.

My post on Socratic Questioning Technique explains how to practically use this approach.

The refinement of question technique

The Socratic method is a powerful technique but there are situations where one does not start with a hypothesis. Later philosophers can help us here.  Others looked into more open methods of asking questions that went beyond just debate and into general inquiry.

For example, Hermagoras of Temnos reportedly defined seven “circumstances” (or ‘elements of circumstance’) that are central to any issue.  These were: quis, quid, quando, ubi, cur, quem ad modum, quibus adminiculis.  These translate as who, what, when, where, why, in what way, by what means (Ballif and Moran 2005).

Cicero is also attributed to using a similar system.  This is the basis of what we know today as ‘the 5Ws’ of what, where, when, who, why (and how).

Kipling immortalised the concept when he wrote,

“I keep six honest serving-men, (They taught me all I knew); Their names are What and Why and When, And How and Where and Who.”

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The Five Ws

Journalists in the twentieth century adopted the Five Ws as an interrogative style.  It is an approach that is useful for getting the facts of a story.  Police officers, researchers, crisis and incident managers, and others have used the same technique. In this context the 5Ws became more specifically:

• Who is it about (who is involved)?
• What happened (what’s the story)?
• When did it take place?
• Where did it take place?
• How did it happen?
• Why did it happen?

The idea behind this interrogative technique is to ask open questions.  Therefore – as far as possible – one can build up an unbiased or uninfluenced statement of the facts. The principle of using open questions, like those captured in the 5Ws, is that you cannot answer any of them with just a yes or a no. The open question invites elaboration and the divulgence of more facts.

When you are trying to look at something holistically and understand a situation it is important to get information (not just the answers you want).  This is part of the Observe and Orientate phases of decision making as outlined in the OODA loop.  At this stage, it is really helpful to ask open questions.  Therefore a framework such as the 5Ws can help to give a framework to our thinking, improve our planning, problem-solving and decision making.

Beyond the 5Ws

The 5Ws approach is specifically tailored towards information gathering about a past event.  It is good at getting a snapshot of the ‘now’.

When tackling strategic issues we are not just trying to get a story, we are also looking to the future so we can establish a plan and develop options. The Right Questions approach takes the 5Ws a step further.  By adding the ‘Which?’ question on top of the 5Ws it is also possible to consider the concept of ‘selection’.  This helps us to look at options and risks.

So we find that we go almost full circle and end up with seven basic questions that reflect those asked by Hermagoras over 2000 years ago; a list comprised of the seven most used interrogatives of the English language: what, where, when, who, why, how, and which. It just goes to show, that as Solomon said: “There is nothing new under the sun”!

We will look at these seven interrogatives in more depth in the next post, The Seven Most Important Questions in the English Language.

The most important questions, and the starting point for The Right Questions, are the words where, what, why, when, who, how, and which.  Using just seven interrogative words as the basis of a strategic questioning methodology can seem too simple at a first glance but the reason for the success of The Right Questions approach is that these seven interrogative words are part of the basic building blocks of our language and are therefore hardwired into our thinking.  In this way the simplicity becomes a fundamental strength of the system. That is why they are the most important questions of all.

“Broadly speaking, the short words are the best, and the old words best of all.”

Winston Churchill

The interrogatives and what they mean

Through language we seek to find efficient ways of expressing ourselves and communicating with others.  English is an evolving language and has been refined so that there are only seven (primary) interrogative categories [1]:

• Where PLACE (of which whence (source) and whither (destination) are derivatives)
• What THING
• Why REASON
• How MANNER
• When TIME
• Who PERSON (of which whom and whose are derivatives)
• Which SELECTION

Language and thought

“Language is the dress of thought.”

Samuel Johnson

Our language has developed over hundreds of years to reflect the things we most need to ask – therefore it is logical that we should look to the first principles of English when we approach a problem.  It is a simple concept but all too often we forget to ask each of the seven basic questions in reference to a given problem or we do not frame the questions properly.  If we do not ask the right questions (the most important questions) we are unlikely to come up with the right answers.

Language does not affect only our communication; it also affects our thinking.  Philosophers have long debated as to whether our thinking is truly free or if we are constrained linguistically.  For example Ludwig Wittgenstein said:

“The limits of my language means the limits of my world.”

Ludvig Wittgenstein

Benjamin Lee Whorf went as far as to say that our native tongue limits the way we think and act in what he referred to as the ‘principle of linguistic relativity’. At the other end of the spectrum Jerry Fodor proposes that there is a ‘language of thought’ encoded in the mind that transcends linguistic communities and has been the basis for the common elements in various languages.

Whatever our philosophical persuasion, science shows that as we observe, absorb and remember things, we create neural pathways in our brains that speed up thinking, recall and decision-making and that language becomes an intrinsic part of this process.

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The power of association

For example, in languages such as French, Spanish and German where objects have a gender assignment, there is an association built in to the language that means speakers are more likely to think of those items as being either more masculine or feminine in nature (whereas in reality they are non-gender specific), than in the case of a language such as English that does not have gender assignment.

Knowing the power of association that words may have can be very useful.  For example psychiatrists have used this knowledge to explore further how our minds work and help to diagnose and treat people with psychological issues.

In another vein Tony Buzan has applied these principles more broadly in his writing on memory techniques and used them to develop his Mind Mapping technique of note taking.

But as our brains make certain connections and associations we can all too easily be led down a certain train of thought or have our thinking constrained.  As George Orwell noted:

“If thought corrupts language, language can also corrupt thought.”

George Orwell

Interviewers who want to get a certain answer have exploited this fact and – at the most extreme level – hypnotists and advertisers have used the persuasive nature of language to influence our actions and decisions.

Freeing our thinking

This kind of constraining influence is something we want to avoid when thinking strategically; we need to be able to ‘think outside the box’. We need something that helps us to be creative and yet have some form, a tool that is comprehensive but that is also second nature to us.

This is why using interrogatives, the Wh-words in English, is so useful: they are tools that we already have at our disposal.  As they are open questions we can use them to think freely and not just to get a closed ‘yes’ or ‘no’ response.  This is also why journalists and law enforcers – seeking to get the facts of a situation and avoid leading questions – have employed ‘the 5 Ws’ question technique.

The evolution of the 5Ws

It was found that the ‘5 Ws’ was not complete without the ‘H’ of ‘How?’ and therefore they became six questions.  The final ‘W’ of ‘Which?’ (that deals with the idea of selection) is less important when just information gathering about one particular incident but it is important to us in planning because we need to consider the choice between courses of actions.  This is why ‘The Right Questions’ makes use of all the seven interrogatives.

Therefore The Right Questions expands on what we already know; words that we have in our language already.  This subconscious knowledge of the system is what makes it profound – we do not need to invent words or use jargon to explain it.  The basis of The Right Questions is a framework that already exists in English and is just amplified so we can apply it specifically to matters of importance such as personal effectiveness and business strategy.

For how to apply The Right Questions framework check out What are The Right Questions for Decision Making and Strategic Planning?

So, having established in previous posts the background to The Right Questions and an idea of their importance, we can now get an overview of The Right Questions and how they are applied to strategic planning and achieving goals, both in a personal or business context. The questions come in an order of sorts but the process of asking The Right Questions is also iterative and cyclical. In other words, the answer to one question is likely to inform an answer to another, and even after we have worked through all the questions we will generally go back and revisit the others to refine our answers.

It is beneficial to explore the questions in two broad groups. The first is comprised of the where, what and why, and these encompass the strategic framing of a situation. The second group is made up of the questions how, when, and who and these help us develop a specific plan within the aforementioned strategic frame.

The two groups are joined by ‘which’ as this question deals with the concepts of options and risk. After looking at the overall strategic picture we use ‘which’ to explore courses of action from which we can choose an option to develop into a more detailed plan. We then return to this same question to weigh the risks as the plan progresses. Looking at these options and risks are the key decision points and can lead us to return through the strategic framing or planning loops again.

Taken all together these seven questions create a template for strategic planning and also become a decision-making process that follows a figure of eight cycle, as demonstrated in the diagram below.

“I keep six honest serving-men, (They taught me all I knew); Their names are What and Why and When, And How and Where and Who.” Rudyard Kipling

STRATEGIC FRAMING

Why? (Values and Priorities)

The ‘Why?’ represents our values. Our values are our identity; the things at our centre that define why we have the vision in the first place, why we do the things we do, why we attract certain people. They are our beliefs and worldview. These are often things we hold in common with others at one level but the particular combination and application of the values make them unique to us. Knowing our principles shows us what we value most and therefore it also helps us to prioritise and make good decisions.

Where? (Situation and Vision)

‘Where?’ is the present location and the future destination, the situation and the vision. We look at whence we have come from and whither are we going as our journey is bracketed by these ideas of ‘where’. When you get out a map the first thing you do is identify where you are and get your bearings; only once you have done this do you plan to move. And when you move, you don’t want to wander aimlessly (movement in itself is not progress), there needs to be a destination, something we are aiming for. This destination is the dream, the thing that stokes our passion and gives us our drive.

What? (Mission)

‘What?’ represents the mission, the reality of what we are going to do. The mission is the bottom line, the tangible measured difference that we are to make. To work out the mission we need to define success so that we know our finish line. We can then sum this up in a pithy and memorable way to get our mission statement.

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REFLECTION INTERSECTION

Which? (Options, Risk and Reflection)

Options

We have to choose which way to go and therefore ‘Which?’ deals with the idea of selection. First, we have to generate a range of courses of options we can choose from. This is a creative process, requiring divergent thinking, and taking time to step out of the purely logical process in order to examine unorthodox ways of problem-solving. Generating these options is something we can do before looking at the how, when and who questions. We are generally faced with various strategy options and we have to select a route by assessing relevant factors.

Risk

One of the major factors affecting a decision is risk. If a venture is deemed too risky it is the surest thing that will stop us from acting, no matter how attractive the option first seemed. To make good decisions we need to identify, assess, mitigate risk and then manage the risk accordingly. Capacity for risk varies between people and situations so it is important to remember that this is an ongoing process of management. At the same time we don’t want to become defensive, timid or risk averse; achieving bold visions means taking risks. We just need to make sure we have counted the cost before we commit ourselves.

Reflection

The option does not have to be perfect. What we are looking for is the minimal viable product (MVP) approach to problem-solving. When an idea good enough to add some planning to it, but then we need to test it. This is where the ‘which’ question becomes the reflection point in the interlinking loops between strategic framing and planning. We test our ideas, reflect and learn from them, then adjust our plans and go again.

PLANNING

How? (Strategy, Goals, Planning and Resources)

‘How?’ is the method or plan by which we achieve the mission. Goals and activities support the overall strategy and propel us towards our dream. Breaking down the route into manageable steps gives us the basis of an action plan and makes the dream an achievable reality. Once we have worked out the detail of each task it is much easier to assess the correct resources we need for each step and therefore, by adding up these resources, we can get a better estimate of the total resources we need to achieve the whole mission.

When? (Timing and Programming)

It is no surprise that ‘When?’ refers to time. Timing is critical. Choosing the right time makes the difference between success and failure and it takes an equal measure of planning and wisdom to know when to implement strategies, to go for goals and ultimately achieve missions. Time is key to planning and is the one truly limited resource. As we overlay our plan with time we create a programme with milestones that help us to measure our progress towards our goal.

Who? (Roles, Team, Structure and Network)

The ‘Who?’ is primarily about the roles different people fulfil, the makeup of our team, the structure of our organisation and the people we connect within our personal network. Sometimes we have a mission and then we go out and put together a team and therefore we need to know what we are looking for. At other times we may need an existing team to adopt a new strategy. In this case, we need to know how best to place people as we re-structure the existing team. Even if we are operating alone, not having a specific team or organisation, we always have a unique network of contacts to draw upon. People are always involved one way or another on our journey and they are the most important resource that we can draw upon.

Now that we have looked at an overview of The Right Questions we will look at each one in greater detail in future posts.

If you want to know more about the background and evidence for the approach I recommend you read:

Beyond the 5Ws: Ask questions like a philosopher, answer as a visionary

If you want to start going through the process I recommend you ‘start with why’ (like Simon Sinek) and read the following:

What are your personal values?

Have you ever been lost, and I mean really lost? The sort of lost where a dawning realisation of your circumstances, coupled with a rising panic, starts to overwhelm you? What did you do? How did you do an analysis of the situation?

I was once on an expedition in the jungles of Central America doing some mapping of archaeological sites and stepped a few metres away from the main group. Very quickly I realised I could not see or hear anyone and I had lost the trail. I really had to work at getting calm. I stopped and thought before moving. Then I clearly marked where I was (to stop me getting even more lost) and started an outward circular search until I found something or someone I recognised.

JRR Tolkein wrote “not all who wander are lost”, but equally, there are many people wandering through life with no real idea of where they are of where they are going. Sure, you may know geographically that you are in a certain place, but are you truly in the right place? Are you where you meant to be, where you need to be?

Are you exactly where you need to be according to your greater life purpose? If not, then like I did in the jungle, it is worth stopping and thinking before moving on again.

The Importance of Situational Analysis

The ‘Where’ questions (particularly in The Right Questions approach) relate to the present location and the destination; the starting point and the vision.  The first of these we need to consider is our starting point.  In other words we need to do some situation analysis.  This is because, when you set off on any journey, you need to know where you are first.  If you look at a map or want directions, the initial thing to identify and confirm is your present location.

I learnt this lesson as an officer in the military and as a mountain leader.  Constantly we were asked during training to get out our maps and indicate to the instructor exactly where we were.  You can’t expect to lead others unless you know where you are and where you are going.

The same applies for any new project or venture in any walk of life.  Your route or your plan can only properly be defined once you know your start point.  This is not just a geographical appreciation, it is an understanding of how you relate to your present circumstances.  Therefore going through a thorough appreciation of where you are is essential before moving forward.

“Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.” 

Seneca

The importance of perspective

Keeping the right perspective is not always easy. Jim Collins, in his excellent book Good to Great, talks about the ‘Stockdale paradox’, the idea of confronting the ‘brutal facts’ of the situation while maintaining the belief that you will prevail. Admiral James Stockdale survived as a prisoner of war in Vietnam for over seven years under the most horrific conditions. Stockdale concluded this about the mentality that helped him survive:

“This is a very important lesson. You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end — which you can never afford to lose — with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.” 

Admiral James Stockdale

Stockdale did not try to fool himself over his present situation and neither should we, especially as what we face is unlikely to be anywhere near as bad as the years of torture he had to confront! We need to maintain our hope for the future, tempered with a healthy realism about how we deal with the present.

When one looks at the hard data it can be daunting at first but as you take things to their natural conclusion it can also be releasing.  If we ask ourselves ‘so what?’ of every challenge we face, and think through what could happen, and – more importantly – what you would do if the worst was to happen, then we can confront our fears and dismantle wrong assumptions and defeater beliefs.

Be honest with yourself

Once you realise the importance of facing the brutal facts it is time to be honest with yourself. Self reflection can be painful but unless you can be honest with yourself you will struggle to be honest with anyone else.

“Truth – more precisely, an accurate understanding of reality – is the essential foundation for producing good outcomes.”

Ray Dalio

Identifying and analysing where you are

When doing some self reflection and situational awareness it is worth getting multiple inputs and viewpoints.

This is similar to when trying to navigate in the wilderness. You need to use all your senses and tools at your disposal to help you. You would use your eyes, ears, your smell to give clues. You would look not only at your map, but also take bearings to known landmarks. You might also use a GPS or altimeter.

The point being that the more data you have, the more likely you are to have an accurate and rounded awareness and therefore be able to make an effective situational analysis.

There are various exercises to get you going, as an individual, in working out the reality of your present situation.  Here are few things you can try:

Phone a friend

In terms of your personal life why not ask someone close to you – a good friend, partner or mentor – how they think you are doing. If you are like me, and don’t like criticism this can be really hard, but if these are people that respect or love you then what they are telling you is for your own good.

So, get them to be really honest with you!

Ask them:

• What do they see as your strengths and weaknesses?
• What do they think of what you are doing now and your present direction?
• What hopes and concerns do they have for you?

Check your diary and finances

Have a look at your calendar and personal finances for the last few months.

I use my online calendar constantly. It is synced between my various devices and I update it regularly, including specific time each week and then every day to update my tasks and priorities. Then, at the end of the day I go back and update the day with what actually happened. This is helpful in terms of reflection, re-organising tasks that have not been achieved, and creating a record for when I look back in the months to come.

You can do a similar exercise looking at your finances, your bank and credit card statements. It is particularly useful if you have set some sort of budget previously as then you can review your actual spend against what you planned.

When you looking at your diary and finances identify the trends:

• What are you spending most money and time on?
• Where are you failing to achieve your aspirations in terms of time and finance?

How you spend your time and money will give you an idea of your priorities and therefore get an insight into your values. It gives facts on the external commitments and pressures you are facing too.

Do some self reflection

Review your journal or note books.  If you don’t have a journal, start one, or find some way to record and reflect on what you do.

I end up keeping a record in various places. I always have a paper notebook with me which I make notes in but also use it for sketching and thinking through ideas spatially. I use the note function on my phone and computer to keep lists, the most important of which is my to-do list. I already mentioned how I use my online calendar to record as well as plan. As well as all this I write posts and articles such as this one. Some are practical, some are more introspective, but the discipline of writing helps to reinforce learning and provide reflection.

So how about you?

• What methods can you best use to record and reflect upon life?
• What themes can you identify in your thoughts and actions?

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Write your bio

One good idea is to write a short biography. Try and keep it to one page but try to encapsulate your story to date; how you arrived where you are today and what have been the key milestones. Limiting the length of the bio forces you to edit and prioritise the most important events.

You may already have bios on social media, websites or elsewhere. These can provide a good starting place but go beyond just your work history – or the things you want other people to see!

• What are the events that shaped you?
• Who were the people that really helped you to where you are now?

Update your CV

In a similar vein to the bio, it is also a great exercise to update or write a new CV. This process helps you to summarise your achievements in a structured way. Similarly to writing your bio, think of the most significant events in your history and the part you had to play in them.

One specific approach you can use is the ‘Made Of’ model. Chose a timeline or event and analyse:

• the people involved
• your goals
• the successes
• the obstacles you overcame
• what you learned

There are lots of resources online to help you and if you don’t know where to start then click here:

How to write a successful CV

Review reports and appraisals

Regarding your work life you can look at past appraisals, reports and testimonials you might have. All of these things start to build up a picture. This is similar to the ‘phone a friend’ exercise in that it provides an external view of you at a point in time.

I keep all my old appraisals and reports – from my school days up to the present – in a folder. It is fascinating to look back on the common themes that various people, at various times, have picked up on. Themes such as leadership, communication, people development and adventure keep coming up and still resonate with me today. But there are also plenty of ways that I have changed, and there are also a few reports that record and illustrate my failures and shortcomings. These are good to keep me honest!

if you are interested you can read more about my failings in the post My Many Leadership Failures.

Try a personality or psychometric test

I am not a big believer in the being able to put our personalities into neat boxes. I believe we are all unique in our own way and the many facets of our personality, our preferences and gifts are too complex to easily sum up. That being said, psychometric tests can help us learn more about ourselves and give us greater understanding of those we live and work with.

“All models are wrong but some are useful.”

George Edward Pelham

There are plenty of paid and free personality and psychometric tests available, most of which you can find online. Here are a few popular ones that I have tried out and found insightful:

• Myers-Briggs (based on the psychological research of C.G. Jung)
• The Big 5 – You can sign up for a free account at Finding Potential and do this and similar tests. I have used their service for myself and teams I have managed and have found their reports very useful (and no, I am not getting paid to recommend them or if you follow the link!)
• StrengthsFinder 2.0 (developed by Gallup)
• Belbin (more for use in a team context but really useful)

My big advice when using these tests is to remember that they are just tools. Don’t get too worried by the reports they generate. Sometimes I don’t like the results I see in these tests as I don’t think they fit for me personally. But that can be helpful; that feeling or thought is an indication of something that needs further analysis. So if you see an outcome that surprises you, question it:

• Is that answer or output really true of who you are?
• Is the test giving a more honest appraisal of you than you are willing to admit, or is it wrong?

The SWOT Analysis

Another simple assessment tool that many people know about is the SWOT analysis. Many people have used it but few do a SWOT analysis for themselves. I really recommend it – it is one of the simplest and more informative ways you can do a quick situational analysis. You can also do it for your team or your whole organisation. ‘SWOT’ stands for:

• S: What are the biggest strengths of you, your team or your situation?
• W: What are your inherent weaknesses?
• O: What are the opportunities of your situation?
• T: What are the external threats that you are facing?

The great thing about the SWOT analysis is takes a balanced view of your present situation. This is very important because we face a couple of dangers at this stage.  Firstly we can paint too rosy a picture of our situation if we choose to overlook or gloss-over certain facts.  The second danger is that by looking at all the challenges the situation can seem overwhelming and this can lead to paralysis rather than action – just the opposite of what we are trying to achieve. So we need to have the right perspective.

You can read more about the SWOT analysis in this post on How to do a SWOT analysis.

The challenges of life

Compared to a prison camp we might think our problems are small, but life is full of its own challenges that can seem big enough. Unless we identify and deal with these issues they will hold us back.  You cannot be happy or successful by ignoring things.  As Philip Wylie said, “Ignorance is not bliss, it is oblivion.”

What are you facing at the moment? Financial insecurity? Challenges at work? Difficulties in your relationships? A lack of confidence or motivation?  Whatever it is, the first step to overcoming the challenge is to identify it.  Do some situation analysis. Call it out; don’t ignore it, deny it or hide it.  Confront it.

This can be easier said than done, I know.

In my experience, as well as taking time to think about an issue it can also be worth writing it down or speaking to someone about it.  Externalising can help (and I say that as an introvert).  This is where a good friend, coach or mentor can be invaluable.

I have appreciated times when people have really listened to me when I have been working through problems and professionally I have spent a lot of time, as a coach, creating an environment where people can talk about and think through challenges.  And in my experience, it really works.

Reflection Question:

Have you ever resolved a bad situation by facing up to it and seeing it in a new light? What was the outcome?

I love devouring books in the holiday season and I always carefully consider the books I purchase or ask for as gifts. Here are my top recommendations for leadership and management books. There are some old titles and some new ones, but they are all indispensable reads and should inform and inspire you.

1. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People – Stephen R. Covey

This was one of the first leadership and management books I ever read and since that first encounter, I have not stopped going back to it. Full of practical wisdom, the book takes you on a journey; setting a foundation that helps you win at a personal level before providing you with the tools you need to flourish as a leader. If you have not read this book yet then redeem yourself this Christmas and get a copy!
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People – UK
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People – US

2. Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap and Others Don’t – Jim Collins

Jim Collins has become one of the most influential voices in organisational development over the past decade. This prequel to his other famous book, Built to Last, applies a scientific approach to identifying what makes a company successful, including what is needed of the people who lead such organisations. The book is challenging and inspiring in equal measure.
Good To Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap… and Others Don’t – UK
Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap… and Others Don’t – US

3. The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership: Follow Them and People Will Follow You – John C. Maxwell

John C. Maxwell is a prolific writer and there are several excellent books that I could list here but this is perhaps his classic work. His straightforward can-do approach to leadership is very appealing and his simple definition of leadership as ‘influence’ demonstrates that we are all leaders at some level and therefore should seek to develop our character and hone our skills to become the best leaders we can be.
21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership – UK
The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership: Follow Them and People Will Follow You – US

4. Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion – Robert B. Cialdini

Compelling and persuasive in its own right, Robert Cialdini’s famous work is a touchstone for people in marketing but considering Maxwell’s definition of leadership (that leadership is influence) this book is essential reading for every leader and manager. I guarantee that it will change the way you communicate and you will never see a sales pitch in the same way again!
Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion – UK
Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion (Collins Business Essentials) – US

The Quest

Understand your values, unlock your purpose, set your priorities, achieve success. Click here to sign up and get the 1st stage for free!

5. The Decision Book: Fifty Models for Strategic Thinking – Mikael Krogerus and Roman Tschäppeler

This fantastic resource was a new purchase for me in 2012. The book may fit in your pocket but don’t let that fool you, it is a veritable treasure trove. It is made all the more attractive because the material is presented in simple, easy to access chunks so you can work your way through or just dip in whenever you need. Whether you decide to stash the book in your top drawer at work or keep it on your bedside table, make sure it is close to hand for when you want inspiration.
The Decision Book: Fifty Models for Strategic Thinking – UK
The Decision Book: 50 Models for Strategic Thinking – US

6. Making It All Work: Winning at the Game of Work and the Business of Life – David Allen

David Allen, the bestselling author of Getting Things Done, and an expert in achieving work-life balance, wrote this book. I have just been given a copy and it comes with high recommendations so I will be reading it over Christmas. I look forward to reviewing it fully when I am finished and discussing it in the New Year!
Making It All Work: Winning at the game of work and the business of life – UK
Making It All Work: Winning at the Game of Work and Business of Life – US

In a previous post I talked about the Stockdale paradox and coming to terms with the brutal facts of our situation. That is the first step in addressing our fears.

When one looks at the reality of where we are it can be scary at first but as you take think everything through logically it can start to dispel those fears.  We need to ask ourselves, Ok, so what is the worst that can happen? If we analyse the problem in this way we can put things into perspective as often the worst thing is not that bad after all.  We can also start to plan and work out how would we would act if the worst case scenario was to happen.  In this way we can confront our fears.

Confronting fear

Confronting our fears helps us to avoid either living in a dream world or being crippled by limiting assumptions.

As the Japanese proverb says:

Vision without action is just a dream; action without vision is a nightmare.

We need a clear vision and we need to understand the assumptions we have that either enable or limit our actions.  Sometime negative assumptions are referred to as defeater beliefs but I think it is more helpful to think of them as assumptions as belief can have more fixed connotations and if negative, these thought patterns need to be challenged.

Challenging negative assumptions and defeater beliefs

For example, when trying to introduce a change in your professional life you may face fears about your job, your promotion prospects or your financial security.  This can trigger thoughts such as “I can’t do that – I would lose my job!”  This is reasonable enough, as losing one’s job can have major consequences, but make sure you think it through.  You may well find that:

1. If you are smart about how you do things then you probably don’t need to lose your job, or
2. That it would be worth the risk as you do not like your job anyway, or
3. You are pretty confident you could find a new and better job

There are plenty of other defeater beliefs that we could add in here such as:

1. “I won’t be able to pay my mortgage/student loan/credit card bill/monthly subscription to Sky Sport*”, or
2. “My boss/parents/family/imaginary friend won’t let me*”, or
3. “I will lose my friends/the good favour of my colleagues/the respect of my dog*”

(*delete as appropriate)

The Quest

Understand your values, unlock your purpose, set your priorities, achieve success. Click here to sign up and get the 1st stage for free!

Overcoming fear

Whatever fears pop into your mind when you look at your present and future situation make sure you capture them and interrogate them fully.  Assess each of them to see how real the perceived threat actually is. This way we can overcome fear.

We also need things in balance. Therefore when considering the ‘where’ question we keep one eye on the present and one on the future; one on the location, one on the vision.  The dream of the future needs to be compelling enough to draw us forward, no matter what the challenges are that we face, and we will be looking at this aspect of ‘where’ in a future post.

Which fears have you faced and overcome? Which would you like to overcome?