What Does An Executive Coach Do?

Executives face a host of challenges that require not only strategic thinking but also personal development. The pressures of maintaining a competitive edge, driving innovation, and managing diverse teams can be overwhelming. This is where executive coaches come into play. They serve as invaluable resources, guiding leaders through complex decisions and personal growth. But what does an executive coach do, and why is their role so important? Let’s dive into the world of executive coaching to uncover its benefits and meaning.

Defining Executive Coaching

Executive coaching is a professional relationship between a coach and an executive aimed at enhancing the executive’s leadership skills, personal development, and professional performance. Unlike traditional training programs, which often focus on specific skills or knowledge areas, executive coaching is tailored to the individual. The coach acts as a guide, helping the executive to identify goals, overcome obstacles, and achieve their full potential, all within the context of their unique circumstances and aspirations.

Executive Coaching Definition

At its core, executive coaching is about personal growth and professional development. It involves a series of structured conversations designed to help executives reflect on their work, identify areas for improvement, and develop strategies for success. These conversations are not just about work-related issues; they delve into the executive’s values, motivations, and long-term vision. The coach provides feedback, support, and accountability, enabling the executive to make meaningful changes in their behavior and mindset. By fostering a safe and confidential environment, the coach encourages honest self-reflection, which is crucial for genuine growth.

In this way, executive coaching fits with the broader definition of coaching. For example, according to the International Coach Federation (ICF), coaching is defined as:

“A partnership with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.”

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The Meaning of Executive Coaching

Executive coaching is not about providing quick fixes or giving direct advice. Instead, it’s about empowering executives to find their own solutions and build on their strengths. This approach fosters long-term growth and development, both personally and professionally. By focusing on self-discovery and self-reliance, executive coaching equips leaders with the tools they need to navigate future challenges independently. It emphasizes the importance of resilience, adaptability, and continuous learning in an ever-changing business landscape.

The Role of an Executive Coach

An executive coach plays a multifaceted role, acting as a confidant, sounding-board, and advisor. They work with executives to help them enhance their leadership skills, improve their decision-making abilities, and navigate complex organizational dynamics. The relationship is built on trust and mutual respect, allowing executives to explore new ideas and challenge existing assumptions. Here’s a closer look at what an executive coach does:

Assessing and Understanding

The first step in executive coaching is to assess the executive’s current situation. This involves understanding their strengths, weaknesses, goals, and challenges. The coach may use various assessment tools and techniques to gain insights into the executive’s personality, leadership style, and communication skills. These assessments provide a foundation for the coaching process, helping to tailor the approach to the executive’s specific needs. By identifying core competencies and potential areas for growth, the coach can create a roadmap for development that aligns with the executive’s career aspirations.

Goal Setting and Action Planning

Once the assessment is complete, the coach helps the executive set clear and achievable goals. These goals are aligned with the executive’s personal values and organizational objectives. The coach works with the executive to develop an action plan, outlining the steps needed to achieve these goals. This plan is dynamic, allowing for adjustments as circumstances change and new challenges arise. Regular check-ins ensure that progress is being made and that the executive remains focused and motivated. By breaking down larger goals into manageable tasks, the coach helps to maintain momentum and build confidence.

Providing Feedback and Support

Feedback is a crucial component of executive coaching. The coach provides constructive feedback, helping the executive to recognize blind spots and areas for improvement. This feedback is delivered in a supportive manner, encouraging reflection rather than defensiveness. They also offer support and encouragement, motivating the executive to stay committed to their goals. By celebrating successes and addressing setbacks, the coach fosters a growth mindset, enabling the executive to view challenges as opportunities for learning and development.

Enhancing Leadership Skills

Executive coaches focus on enhancing the executive’s leadership skills, such as communication, emotional intelligence, and conflict resolution. They help executives to develop a leadership style that is authentic and effective, enabling them to lead with confidence and inspire others. This involves exploring different leadership models and techniques, and experimenting with new approaches in a safe environment. By building on existing strengths and addressing weaknesses, the coach helps executives to cultivate a leadership presence that resonates with their teams and drives organizational success.

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Why Executive Coaching is Important

Executive coaching offers numerous benefits, making it an invaluable tool for personal and professional growth. In a world where change is constant, the ability to adapt and thrive is more important than ever. Here are some reasons why executive coaching is important:

Improved Performance

Through executive coaching, executives can improve their performance by gaining clarity on their goals and developing effective strategies to achieve them. This leads to increased productivity, better decision-making, and enhanced problem-solving skills. As executives become more adept at managing their time and priorities, they can focus on high-impact activities that drive results. The ripple effect of improved performance can be felt throughout the organization, contributing to a culture of excellence and continuous improvement.

Enhanced Self-awareness

Executive coaching helps individuals develop a deeper understanding of themselves, their strengths, and their areas for growth. This heightened self-awareness enables executives to make more informed decisions and build stronger relationships with their teams. By exploring their values, beliefs, and behaviors, executives can align their actions with their personal and professional objectives. This alignment fosters authenticity and integrity, which are essential for building trust and credibility with colleagues and stakeholders.

Greater Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence is a key component of effective leadership. Executive coaching helps executives develop their emotional intelligence, enabling them to manage their emotions, communicate effectively, and build stronger connections with others. This involves recognizing and regulating emotions, empathizing with others, and handling interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically. As a result, executives can create a positive work environment where open communication and collaboration are encouraged, leading to higher morale and better team performance.

Increased Confidence

With the guidance and support of an executive coach, executives can build their confidence and overcome self-doubt. This newfound confidence allows them to tackle challenges head-on and lead with conviction. As executives gain confidence in their abilities, they are more likely to take calculated risks and pursue innovative solutions. This proactive approach can drive organizational growth and create a competitive advantage in the marketplace.

Benefits of Executive Coaching

The benefits of executive coaching extend beyond individual growth to impact the entire organization. By developing effective leaders, coaching can transform organizational culture and performance. Here are some of the key benefits:

Improved Team Dynamics

By enhancing the leadership skills of executives, coaching can lead to improved team dynamics. Executives who are better equipped to lead can foster a positive work environment, promote collaboration, and drive team success. Effective leadership can break down silos and encourage cross-functional cooperation, leading to more innovative solutions and a shared sense of purpose. Teams that are aligned and motivated are more likely to achieve their goals and contribute to the organization’s success.

Better Organizational Performance

When executives perform at their best, it has a positive ripple effect on the entire organization. Executive coaching can lead to better strategic decision-making, increased innovation, and improved organizational performance. By fostering a culture of learning and development, coaching can drive continuous improvement and adaptability. Organizations that invest in executive coaching are often better positioned to respond to market changes and seize new opportunities.

Increased Employee Engagement

Executives who are committed to their personal and professional growth can inspire their teams to do the same. This leads to increased employee engagement, higher job satisfaction, and reduced turnover. Engaged employees are more productive, more loyal, and more likely to contribute to a positive organizational culture. By investing in the development of their leaders, organizations can create a virtuous cycle of engagement and performance.

Executive and Professional Coaching

Executive coaching is often complemented by other types of professional coaching, which focuses on specific skills and competencies needed for career advancement (such as public speaking or career coaching). Together, these coaching approaches provide a comprehensive framework for personal and professional development. By addressing both the broader aspects of leadership and the specific skills required for success, coaching can equip individuals with the tools they need to thrive in their careers.

Life Coaching and Executive Coaching

Executive coaching and life coaching share similarities, but they also have distinct differences. Life coaching focuses on personal goals and overall well-being, while executive coaching is centered on professional development and leadership coaching. However, both approaches can be integrated to provide a holistic coaching experience. By addressing both personal and professional aspects of life, coaching can help individuals achieve a balanced and fulfilling life. This integrated approach recognizes that personal and professional success are interconnected, and that achieving one often supports the other.

The Importance of Executive Coaching

Executive coaching is a powerful tool for personal and professional growth. By working with an executive coach, individuals can enhance their leadership skills, improve their performance, and achieve their goals. Whether you’re an executive looking to advance your career or an organization seeking to develop its leaders, executive coaching can provide the support and guidance needed to succeed. As businesses face increasingly complex challenges, the demand for skilled and adaptable leaders continues to grow.

In the ever-evolving business landscape, the role of an executive coach is more important than ever. Through their expertise and guidance, executive coaches empower leaders to reach their full potential and drive organizational success. By investing in executive coaching, organizations can cultivate a pipeline of capable leaders who are ready to navigate the future with confidence and resilience.

If you would like to find out more about coaching with Simon and The Right Questions, please do drop me a line via the Contact Page.

If you want the right answers you have to start with the right questions

About The Right Questions

The Right Questions is for leaders who want coaching towards greater clarity, purpose and success. We are all leaders (whether we know it or not) as we all have influence. So the question is, what are you doing with your influence?

Wherever you are on your leadership journey, I hope that you find resources on this site to help you on the next leg of your quest. Even if that is just the inspiration to take one small step in the right direction, then that is a success. If you can take pleasure in learning and travelling as you go, then so much the better.

Need help navigating your journey to success?

I love to serve people, helping them unlock their potential, empowering them as leaders, and coaching them to achieve their goals. Please get in touch and let me know how I can support you!

Video: The GROW Model for Coaching and Mentoring

The GROW model is a popular problem-solving tool used in coaching. This YouTube video introduces the tool and how to use it:

The GROW Model

The word ‘GROW’ is an acronym for a four-stage coaching tool, but exactly what the acronym stands for does differ slightly from practitioner to practitioner. Commonly it that stands for:

  • Goal – The clearly defined endpoint
  • Reality – The present situation with is challenges and opportunities
  • Options (or Obstacles) – Having identified challenges and opportunities, various options can be explored to help achieve the goal and overcome obstacles
  • Will (or Way Forward/Wrap Up) – The Will or Way Forward step is the breaking down of the goal into achievable steps.

This short video explains how to use the model but if you want more information then click this link to read the related article How to Use The GROW Model.

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If you want the right answers you have to start with the right questions

About The Right Questions

The Right Questions is for leaders who want coaching towards greater clarity, purpose and success. We are all leaders (whether we know it or not) as we all have influence. So the question is, what are you doing with your influence?

Wherever you are on your leadership journey, I hope that you find resources on this site to help you on the next leg of your quest. Even if that is just the inspiration to take one small step in the right direction, then that is a success. If you can take pleasure in learning and travelling as you go, then so much the better.

Need help navigating your journey to success?

I love to serve people, helping them unlock their potential, empowering them as leaders, and coaching them to achieve their goals. Please get in touch and let me know how I can support you!

What is Leadership Coaching and How is it Beneficial?

Leadership coaching is a proven tool for personal and professional growth. But what exactly is leadership coaching, why is it important, who does it benefit, and how do you choose a coach? In this article, we will delve into the definition of leadership coaching, explore its importance in leadership, highlight the numerous benefits it offers, and provide tips for selecting a suitable coach.

Understanding Leadership Coaching

Leadership coaching is a personalized process where a coach helps an individual improve their leadership skills. It’s about guiding leaders to reach their full potential by developing specific skills, enhancing their strengths, and addressing any areas of improvement. Coaches work with leaders to set goals, overcome challenges, and achieve personal and organizational success.

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What Does a Leadership Coach Do?

A leadership coach acts as a facilitator for change. They act as a sounding board, encouraging deep thought, but also providing challenge, objective feedback and insights as needed. They offer guidance on various aspects of leadership, such as communication, decision-making, conflict resolution, and team management. By doing so, they help leaders gain clarity, improve their performance, and achieve their desired outcomes. Leadership coaching also goes beyond work as a good leader needs life balance and a firm idea of their personal direction and purpose.

Why is Coaching Important in Leadership?

Leadership coaching is important because it addresses the unique challenges that leaders face. As organizations evolve, leaders are required to adapt to new roles and responsibilities. Coaching provides the support and tools needed to navigate these changes effectively. Here are a few reasons why coaching is crucial in leadership:

Enhances Self-Awareness

Leadership coaching helps individuals develop a deeper understanding of themselves. Coaches encourage leaders to reflect on their strengths, weaknesses, and values. This self-awareness is vital for making informed decisions and leading with authenticity.

Encourages Continuous Improvement

Coaching fosters a culture of continuous learning and development. Leaders are encouraged to set goals and work towards them, which promotes personal and professional growth. This mindset of constant improvement is essential for staying competitive in today’s dynamic business environment.

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Supports Effective Communication

Effective communication is a cornerstone of successful leadership. Coaching helps leaders enhance their communication skills, enabling them to convey their vision clearly and inspire their teams. Improved communication leads to better collaboration and increased productivity.

Benefits of Leadership Coaching

Leadership coaching offers a wide range of benefits that positively impact both the individual and the organization. Let’s explore some of these benefits:

Improved Decision-Making Skills

Coaching helps leaders develop critical thinking and problem-solving skills, which are crucial for making sound decisions. By learning to analyze situations objectively, leaders can make informed choices that align with their goals and values.

Increased Confidence

Working with a leadership coach boosts a leader’s confidence by helping them recognize their strengths and accomplishments. This increased confidence enables leaders to take calculated risks and seize new opportunities.

Enhanced Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize and manage one’s emotions and the emotions of others. Coaching helps leaders develop this skill, which is vital for building strong relationships and leading empathetically.

Better Work-Life Balance

Leadership coaching encourages leaders to prioritize their well-being and maintain a healthy work-life balance. By managing stress and setting boundaries, leaders can avoid burnout and maintain their effectiveness over the long term.

Greater Team Performance

Coaching not only benefits the individual leader but also has a positive impact on their team. As leaders improve their skills, they become better at motivating and guiding their teams, leading to increased productivity and job satisfaction. This is how high-performing teams are developed.

Fosters a Positive Organizational Culture

When leaders commit to personal growth and development, they inspire others to do the same. This commitment to growth fosters a positive organizational culture where continuous improvement and innovation are valued.

How to Choose the Right Leadership Coach

Choosing the right leadership coach is crucial for maximizing the benefits of coaching. Here are some tips to help you find the right coach:

Assess Their Credentials and Experience

Look for a coach with relevant credentials and experience in leadership development. A coach with a proven track record of success will be better equipped to guide you on your journey.

For example, in my case, I did post-graduate studies in Coaching and Mentoring at Warwick University, I have many years of experience in senior leadership positions, and I am a member of the Association of Coaching (AC). There are many other qualifications for coaches, and too many to name here, but the other professional body that many coaches belong to is the International Coaching Federation (ICF). So, when looking for a coach, make sure you explore their credentials too.

Consider Their Coaching Style

Different coaches have different coaching styles. Some may focus on practical strategies, while others may emphasize personal reflection and growth. Consider what style aligns best with your needs and preferences.

For example, you can read more about my particular style in Leadership Coaching with Simon and The Right Questions.

Evaluate Their Compatibility

Compatibility is key to a successful coaching relationship. Ensure that you feel comfortable with the coach and that their values align with your own. A strong rapport will facilitate open communication and trust.

If you are a leader, don’t miss out on the benefits of coaching

Leadership coaching is a valuable investment for anyone looking to enhance their leadership skills and achieve greater success. By providing personalized guidance and support, leadership coaches help individuals develop self-awareness, improve their communication skills, and achieve their goals. The benefits of leadership coaching extend beyond the individual, positively impacting teams and organizations as a whole. Whether you’re an aspiring leader or an experienced executive, leadership coaching can help you reach your full potential and drive meaningful change.

If you want to find out more, do drop me a line via the contact page.

If you want the right answers you have to start with the right questions

About The Right Questions

The Right Questions is for leaders who want coaching towards greater clarity, purpose and success. We are all leaders (whether we know it or not) as we all have influence. So the question is, what are you doing with your influence?

Wherever you are on your leadership journey, I hope that you find resources on this site to help you on the next leg of your quest. Even if that is just the inspiration to take one small step in the right direction, then that is a success. If you can take pleasure in learning and travelling as you go, then so much the better.

Need help navigating your journey to success?

I love to serve people, helping them unlock their potential, empowering them as leaders, and coaching them to achieve their goals. Please get in touch and let me know how I can support you!

Find The Best Life Coach and Guide for You

Who can best help you achieve your goals? Which person can guide you to where you need to go? Who can help you develop beyond what you can accomplish on your own?

The mountain guide

A wide snow-covered glacier flowed down the mountain in front of me. It was a tableau of almost pure white, only blemished by the occasional blue-grey streaks that hinted at crevasses. It did not look like a ski run. There was no piste, no markers, no other skiers. A single cable car had taken us to the top, and that was the only thing indicating this was a ski area.

We were in La Grave in the French Alps, a mecca for off-piste snow sports. I was with Chris, a mountain guide. He was helping me achieve my dream of making some first ski ascents and descents of mountains in Greenland. But we both knew that before I got anywhere near Greenland, I needed to build my ski touring skills and my ability to negotiate glaciers.

How on earth do we get down there? That was the unspoken question in my mind. There were no tracks, let alone coloured runs to follow. Chris looked over, smiled and coolly said, “Just follow my line, and if I stop, then halt above me.” There was no chance to reply, let alone question this statement, as he had already set off, making his first turn in the virgin powder.

I took a deep breath, told myself, “Just do as he said” and then turned into Chris’ tracks. As I started to move and focussed on pursuing Chris down the hill, my anxiety subsided.

I had faith in Chris. His qualifications, experience and visible competence all inspired trust, but what’s more he had a character of contagious calm. So, I followed.

By the time I was at the bottom of the glacier, my confidence had reached new levels. Hell! I had just skied down a glacier; I could do anything!

As we mounted the lift to take us up again Chris said, “Right, now it’s your turn to lead.” My self-assurance melted faster than the snow on my boots. Chris smiled and added, “I will be right behind you.”

What is a guide or life coach and what do they do?

A good guide or coach does many things. As illustrated in my story, a guide can lead the way and provide instruction. Similarly, a coach helps people towards their goals and helps them to push their boundaries.

The role of the guide was introduced in the last section. In The Right Questions Framework, the context of a guide is similar to that of expeditions. A guide is an experienced practitioner who can lead, instruct and coach people to assist them in reaching their destination. Similarly, a life coach helps someone improve their life, often through supporting them in progressing towards specific targets.

I love adventure and am a qualified mountain leader and a certified coach. Therefore, it is no surprise that I see the roles as complementary and largely synonymous. Both a guide and coach support people in getting where they want to go. Returning to the beginning of The Right Questions Framework, and the analogy of life as a journey, we can see how these roles interplay.

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What is a mentor (or sage)?

At this point, it is worth clarifying the difference between the roles of a coach (or guide) and that of a mentor (what we referred to as a Sage in the last section).

A mentor is usually someone who has more seniority and experience within a specific field, shared with the person being mentored. For example, a more senior business person might mentor a more junior manager, within a given industry. It is therefore a narrower focus than that of coaching. The roles are different but complementary. In my experience, it is good to have both.

This outlines the differences in simple terms but, if interested, you can read a more detailed account in my article What is the Difference Between Coaching and Mentoring?

Who needs a life coach or guide?

Anyone can benefit from a coach or guide. Unfortunately for me, it took me a long time to appreciate this. In my mountaineering, for many years I avoided the services of a mountain guide, choosing to learn things on my own, or muddling through with similarly inexperienced friends. I did improve, but slowly, and I picked up some bad habits.

Equally, in my professional life, it was many years before I had my own coach or mentor. I made progress but struggled to achieve my larger goals. Ironically, one of these goals was to become a professional executive coach, and it was not until I employed my own coach that I successfully made the transition.

Therefore, a coach or guide is for anyone who wants to accelerate their progression and improve their chances of success. If you want evidence for this, then I recommend watching the excellent TED talk by Atul Gawande, who provides compelling evidence for the effectiveness of coaching.

“Coaching helps you take stock of where you are now in all aspects of your life, and how that compares to where you would like to be.” Elaine MacDonald

How does a coaching relationship work and how should coaching be conducted?

Coaching can take many forms, but most life coaching is structured around regular sessions. These are usually about 30-90 minutes long, either one-to-one or in small groups. They can be in-person or online.

A coach leads the coachee but mostly in a non-directive manner. In other words, a coach doesn’t tell someone what to do; they ask questions, listen, and probe assumptions. This creates a good thinking environment and allows the person being coached to come up with their own solutions.

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How to choose a life coach or guide

When finding someone who can be your guide or life coach there are various things to consider. First and foremost, picking a coach is choosing a key member of your team. It is an important relationship and therefore I recommend thinking through the 4 Cs of:

  • Character
  • Competence
  • Chemistry
  • Confidentiality

Character – picking someone you respect

Character is perhaps the most important thing. If you want someone to be your guide or coach, you want them to be a person who you can trust and respect.

Competence – certification, qualification and experience

Secondly, you want someone who is competent. This is usually a mixture of qualifications, skills and experience. Most coaches have certification to one of the larger professional coaching bodies such as the Association of Coaching or International Coaching Federation.

For example, as well as having over a decade of experience in life and executive coaching, I studied Coaching and Mentoring at Warwick University and am a Member of the Association of Coaching.

Chemistry – making sure the relationship works

Relationships are easier if there is chemistry. It’s a fact of life that there are some people we naturally get along with. This is not essential in this type of relationship – as a guide or coach is there to challenge us – but it does make things more enjoyable.

Confidentiality – ensuring trust and openness

Confidentiality is essential in a coaching relationship. When being coached we need to know that the person we are talking to is not going to share any details of what is discussed, or at least not without prior consent. There are of course a few exceptions to this rule (for example if a coachee shared something illegal or potentially harmful) but in the main, what is discussed between a coach and coachee stays just between them.

Other factors to consider

There are other things to consider such as proximity to the coach (if you want to meet in person), the affordability of the sessions and the particular approach that the coach favours, but in my experience the 4Cs are the priority factors for a successful coaching relationship.

“Each person holds so much power within themselves that needs to be let out. Sometimes they just need a little nudge, a little direction, a little support, a little coaching, and the greatest things can happen.” – Pete Carroll

Master the tool: finding a life coach and guide for your goals

It is no surprise that I recommend finding a personal guide or life coach. It is down to my experience. I am a highly motivated person but I have only been able to achieve my biggest goals and truly achieve my maximum potential with the assistance of a coach.

Even though life coaching and sports coaching are different in some respects, it is worth remembering that no one expects an athlete to compete at the top level without coaching. The same goes for our work, our lives, our dreams. If we want to achieve our maximum, we need help. That is why now – even though I am a qualified coach – I still have an executive coach and a mentor.

Therefore, take some time now to think about who could coach you. Follow these steps:

  1. First, specify the key thing you want to be coached in. The skill you want to develop or the goal you want to achieve will affect who you might choose. Even though coaching is a generalist skill, there are coaches and trainers who specialise in certain areas (for example human performance, leadership, communication etc).
  2. Think about who you can think of who exemplifies what you want to achieve. Who is the world’s best or leading authority? Could they help?
  3. Who in your network could either help directly or make coach/guide recommendations?
  4. Use the 4Cs to make a list of questions or guidelines that you can use to narrow your search and focus your discussion with any potential coach.
  5. Make some introductions to some coaches, either from the ones you have already come up with or any others you find with further research. Aim for at least three and then assess them against the 4Cs.

And, if you are interested in finding out more about the coaching I offer, be that life coaching, executive coaching or leadership coaching, send me a message via the contact page. I look forward to hearing from you.

If you want the right answers you have to start with the right questions

About The Right Questions

The Right Questions is for leaders who want coaching towards greater clarity, purpose and success. We are all leaders (whether we know it or not) as we all have influence. So the question is, what are you doing with your influence?

Wherever you are on your leadership journey, I hope that you find resources on this site to help you on the next leg of your quest. Even if that is just the inspiration to take one small step in the right direction, then that is a success. If you can take pleasure in learning and travelling as you go, then so much the better.

Need help navigating your journey to success?

I love to serve people, helping them unlock their potential, empowering them as leaders, and coaching them to achieve their goals. Please get in touch and let me know how I can support you!

The Right Questions Framework Guide

The Right Questions framework is a process and set of tools to help people who want to:

  • Lead themselves and others well
  • Think analytically and critically
  • Develop effective strategic plans and achieve goals
  • Set priorities and make better decisions

The Right Questions framework is based upon the main interrogative words in the English language, linking each to a key theme and further questions:

Interrogative Use Application
Why Reason Values, principles, priorities, passions
Where Place Situation (past and present), vision
What Thing Mission, end-state, success, USP
Which Selection Options, courses of action, risks, reflection
How Manner Plan, route, tasks, resources
Who Person Self, team, network, relationships
When Time Timing, programming, prioritisation

Navigating The Right Questions Website

To help you navigate the posts that explain the framework, follow the links under the headings below that correspond to the individual posts.

Beside each post, on the right sidebar, you will see the main categories that relate to the posts below. These are:

  • The Right Questions (Background and Overview)
  • Why (Values)
  • What (Mission)
  • Where (Situation and Vision)
  • Which (Options, Risk and Opportunity)
  • Who (Individual, Team and Network)
  • How (Goals, Planning and Resources)
  • When (Timing and Programming)

The Quest – Using The Right Questions on a Journey of Self-Discovery and Fulfilment

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Introduction to The Right Questions Concept

Overview of The Right Questions Framework

Stage 1: Strategic Framing

The initial questions of why (principles, priorities and passions) where (situation and vision) and what (mission, success criteria) provide the strategic framing for any plans we make. The quality of the options we develop to achieve success and the effectiveness of our planning depends largely on the development of the overall strategy.

Why? Values

Principles, purpose, passions, priorities

Where? Situation and Vision

Situational Analysis – where am I now?

Vision – where am I going?

What? Mission, success and end-state

Stage 2: The Reflection Point

The second part or stage is called the ‘reflection point’. In every decision making cycle you consider your options in the light of the situation, the risks and opportunities. This reflection point either takes you back to Stage 1, and a further iteration of refining the Strategic Framing, or onto Stage 3, Developing a Plan, where an actionable plan can be created for the chosen course of action, fulfilling the strategy.

Which: Route, risk, review, reflections

Stage 3: Developing a Plan

The third section on planning uses the questions how, who and when to explore the detail needed to deliver on your desired course of action in alignment with your overall strategy.

How? Planning, Resources

When? Timing, programming and prioritisation

Who? Self, team and network

Case studies, examples and application of The Right Questions

The Right Questions in Organisations

The Right Questions in Coaching Individuals

If you want the right answers you have to start with the right questions

About The Right Questions

The Right Questions is for leaders who want coaching towards greater clarity, purpose and success. We are all leaders (whether we know it or not) as we all have influence. So the question is, what are you doing with your influence?

Wherever you are on your leadership journey, I hope that you find resources on this site to help you on the next leg of your quest. Even if that is just the inspiration to take one small step in the right direction, then that is a success. If you can take pleasure in learning and travelling as you go, then so much the better.

Need help navigating your journey to success?

I love to serve people, helping them unlock their potential, empowering them as leaders, and coaching them to achieve their goals. Please get in touch and let me know how I can support you!

9 Insightful Questions To Figure Out Your Life Goals

What do you want to achieve in life?

There are lots of approaches you can take to figure out life goals. You may already keep a bucket list of things you want to do but sometimes it is helpful to think about what we want to achieve using different tools. Each new approach can generate new ideas or give further insight into earlier thinking.

Your desire might be to unlock your purpose in life or just to generate ideas for goals you want to achieve. Either way, this set of questions can help you to create and explore your aims, desires, and dreams.

How to figure out life goals

These questions are based on coaching tips from Michael Neill in his book Supercoach. They are questions that I have found particularly helpful, both for setting my own personal goals and for helping people I coach as they set their life goals.

Go through each question in turn and write down as many ideas as you can against each one.

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What things should you achieve?

In other words, what do you feel duty-bound to do? What do you feel is a responsibility or a necessity to achieve?

Which goals are logical?

Another way of asking this question would be, what is the rational thing to progress to? What would be a natural thing to achieve if you follow the course you are presently on?

Which goals give you déjà vu?

Which goals are always on your list and never seem to go away? What goal have you always wanted to do but never succeeded in?

What goals would somebody else set you?

If you asked your best friend or a family member, what sort of goal would they set for you? Think about your spouse or partner, what would they say should be your goal?

Which dreams express your deep wants?

Which goal reflects the deepest desires of your heart? What would give you the greatest satisfaction to achieve?

What would you ask for from your fairy godmother?

If you could wish for anything, what would that be? How about three wishes? What would you ask for?

What are your happy wants?

Which things do you want to achieve that will make you happy? Which ideas make you happy even just thinking about doing them?

What are your naughty wants?

Which goals do you have that you have never told anyone about? What would you like to achieve but have been too embarrassed to share with anyone or too scared to try?

What do you think “if only” I could have achieved?

When you look back in life, what do you wish you had achieved? If you could turn back the clock what would you have done differently?


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How to prioritise your life goals

After answering all the questions above you should have a long list of ideas and dreams. The next task is to prioritise these goals and work out which one you want to achieve first.

Here are some more questions to help you narrow down your selection:

  • Which goals are aligned with your personal values?
  • What aim would best support your life purpose?
  • Which achievement would have the biggest positive impact on your life?
  • Which dream, if you did not achieve it, would you be most disappointed about?

How to achieve life goals

Once you have prioritised your list of goals and chosen which one (or more) that you want to achieve, the next step is examining the goal in more detail and developing a plan to help you to succeed.

There are other tools that can help you with this such as stating your goal as a SMART task and making sure it is specificmeasurableattainablerelevant and time-bound.

Another technique, common to coaching, is using the GROW model. Here you state your goal, then look at the reality of your situation and what your starting point is. Then you consider the options or obstacles that you face in achieving your mission, then work out the best way forward and commit your will to fulfil your dream.

Good luck with achieving your life goals!

If you want the right answers you have to start with the right questions

About The Right Questions

The Right Questions is for leaders who want coaching towards greater clarity, purpose and success. We are all leaders (whether we know it or not) as we all have influence. So the question is, what are you doing with your influence?

Wherever you are on your leadership journey, I hope that you find resources on this site to help you on the next leg of your quest. Even if that is just the inspiration to take one small step in the right direction, then that is a success. If you can take pleasure in learning and travelling as you go, then so much the better.

Need help navigating your journey to success?

I love to serve people, helping them unlock their potential, empowering them as leaders, and coaching them to achieve their goals. Please get in touch and let me know how I can support you!

How to Use the GROW Model

What is the GROW model? What is it for and how do you use it?

The GROW model is a popular problem-solving tool used in coaching. It is a simple and effective way to help people set and achieve goals.

The GROW process was developed by Sir John Whitmore, Graham Alexander and Alan Fine, and then popularised by Max Landsberg in his book The Tao of Coaching. Subsequently, it has been used extensively, particularly in corporate coaching settings and has become something of the industry-standard tool (Passmore 2010).

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What does GROW stand for?

The word ‘GROW’ is an acronym for a four-stage coaching tool, but exactly what the acronym stands for does differ slightly from practitioner to practitioner. Commonly it that stands for:

  • Goal – The clearly defined endpoint
  • Reality – The present situation with is challenges and opportunities
  • Options (or Obstacles) – Having identified challenges and opportunities, various options can be explored to help achieve the goal and overcome obstacles
  • Will (or Way Forward/Wrap Up) – The Will or Way Forward step is the breaking down of the goal into achievable steps.
How to use the GROW model

How do you use the GROW process?

Here we will look at each of the stages in turn for a more detailed view on how to apply the GROW model:

Goal

The first step is used to explore the goal that the individual or team want to achieve. It is important to clearly identify the aim, define the mission and understand what success looks like.

It is worth spending time on this step as the end state needs to be properly honed. The goal is a chance to capture the vision, mission and values of a person. This in turn helps to identify a target that is inspirational, challenging and fits into the bigger picture of a coachee’s life and work.

Here are some example questions that could be used at this stage:

  • What do you want to discuss?
  • What is the issue?
  • Which is the most important thing you want to achieve?
  • What does success look like?
  • What is your vision for the future?
  • How do you really want things to work out?
  • Why is this goal important to you?
  • What would achieving this aim feel like?
  • How would this goal contribute to other aims?
  • How will you know when you have achieved your mission?

If you would like some more advice on setting goals, try reading the post ‘How do you set goals, tasks and milestones to achieve a plan?’

Reality

The next step in the GROW model is looking at the reality of the situation. This involves considering the present with all its challenges and opportunities.

There is an element of looking back to see what has happened in the past and how this has shaped the present. This can mean facing some uncomfortable truths or confronting the brutal facts as Jim Collins puts it in his excellent book Good to Great (Collins, J. 2001).

Here are some potential questions to use at the Reality stage:

  • What has happened to bring you to this point?
  • What is going on now?
  • Who is involved?
  • How does the present situation make you feel?
  • Is there anything holding you back?
  • What are the challenges that you are facing?
  • What is the cause of these challenges?
  • Which assumptions have you made?

At the Reality stage of the GROW model, it may also be useful to apply the SWOT analysis which can help identify the key factors relating to the present situation.

For further help with working out the reality of the situation read ‘The essential importance of situation analysis.’

Options

Having defined the goal and explored the reality of the situation the next step is the look at various options to help achieve the goal. Sometimes the ‘O’ in the GROW model is used for ‘Obstacles’ as the options can provide different courses of action to overcome the various challenges that have been identified.

Here are some questions to consider at the Options stage:

  • Which alternative ways could you achieve the goal?
  • How can you overcome the obstacles?
  • What would you do if resources were not a problem?
  • Is there anyone who can help you?
  • What are the advantages and disadvantages of each course of action?
  • What would are really wise person do?
  • Which is the best/most effective option?

For further ideas on developing options and overcoming obstacles take a look at ‘Which is the best course of action?’

Will/Way Forward

Having looked at options and identified the course of action the ‘Will’ or ‘Way Forward’ step of the GROW model is the breaking down of the goal into achievable steps that someone can commit to.

This stage helps to wrap up the session and make sure that, by the end, the coachee has committed to some concrete and achievable actions. These can be pursued and measured between sessions.

Here are some questions to help at this stage:

  • Which tasks need to be completed to achieve the goal?
  • What is your deadline?
  • When do you want to achieve each task?
  • What is the first step?
  • When can you complete this step?
  • Who can help?
  • Who do you need to speak to?
  • What do you need to do differently?

The SMART tool can also be useful to help define these steps. To create a plan you might also want to use the free templates in ‘How to make an action plan and achieve your goal.’

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What are the limitations of the GROW model?

The GROW model is designed to be task-focused and is therefore good in work and sports situations. Its simplicity is a strength but does mean that it is a less holistic model and can miss some of the broader contexts of change. For example, other tools might complement the GROW model when looking at behavioural change, life coaching and career change.

Another simple and complementary tool is the Wheel of Life, which is useful in identifying where roles and goals may be out of balance. This can provide a good starting point for specific goals that you want to explore using the GROW model or The Right Questions approach.

The GROW model, as with any process, is only as good as its application. As Sir John Whitmore stated “even dictators can use GROW!” A coach should ensure that the model is utilised in a subtle way, bringing structure to the coaching session but in an unconscious and natural way. And, as with other coaching models, active listening is critical to its successful application.

How does the GROW model compare to other tools?

The GROW model is simple and this is one of the reasons that make it very effective and popular. Even with the differing interpretations of the acronym, it provides a relatively memorable structure and does not take much knowledge or practice to apply. It can also be used to explore and plan for a large number of different goals.

The simplicity of the model does mean that it lends itself to a quick look at a problem. As mentioned previously, for more depth it is sometimes beneficial to use the GROW model in conjunction with other tools and processes.

Goals

The first two stages of the GROW model relate to the Strategic Framing steps (where what and why) of The Right Questions model. In both tools, the aim is to properly understand the problem and situation before assessing options and making a plan. This is also equivalent to the Observe and Orientate stages of the OODA loop.

Reality

Another useful tool to use at the Reality stage is the SWOT methodology; a simple yet effective way of looking at the present situation.

Obstacles and Options

‘Obstacles and Options’ in the GROW process is covered by ‘Which’ in The Right Questions that cover risk as well as courses of action. Here the aim is to look at different ways to achieve the same goal.

At the Options stage, using tools such as lateral thinking can beneficial to generate new courses of action and the Belbin Team Model can be of great use in working out who might be able to help and how.

Will or Way Forward

The ‘Will’ of the GROW method is primarily covered by the Planning Phase (the when who and how) of The Right Questions. For more complicated goals traditional Project Management processes may be useful to apply. At a simpler level, using the SMART tool helps to capture the original goal and make sure the next step is an achievable one.

Next Steps

You may want also want some help, delving deeper into these tools or identifying your goals. I have the pleasure of assisting many amazing individuals and organisations in my work. If you would like some assistance too, in person or online, then please do drop me a line. You can email me via the contact page.


If you would like to find out more about coaching and have an initial free coaching consultation then please email us using the contact page. Just click on this link: Contact Form


References

If you want the right answers you have to start with the right questions

About The Right Questions

The Right Questions is for leaders who want coaching towards greater clarity, purpose and success. We are all leaders (whether we know it or not) as we all have influence. So the question is, what are you doing with your influence?

Wherever you are on your leadership journey, I hope that you find resources on this site to help you on the next leg of your quest. Even if that is just the inspiration to take one small step in the right direction, then that is a success. If you can take pleasure in learning and travelling as you go, then so much the better.

Need help navigating your journey to success?

I love to serve people, helping them unlock their potential, empowering them as leaders, and coaching them to achieve their goals. Please get in touch and let me know how I can support you!

What is the Difference Between Coaching and Mentoring?

A Coach or Mentor – Same Same but Different?

The terms coaching and mentoring are often used synonymously but in professional terms, there are some subtle yet important differences. Having worked as both a coach and a mentor it is not that one is better than the other, it is that they are slightly different approaches to achieve slightly different things.

It is also worth noting that in practice there can be considerable overlap between the two but mixing up the terms can be confusing and frustrating (Nieuwerburgh, 2014). Therefore, the differences in emphasis and approach are important to know, especially if you are looking for either a coach or a mentor and trying to work out what would suit you best.

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What does it mean to be a mentor?

A mentor is someone who is generally more experienced and who passes on that knowledge to someone who is less experienced within a certain area of expertise. The mentor is often someone older but not necessarily so; it is more about the mentor having specialist knowledge that they can impart to the person being mentored.

A classic example would be a senior manager within a company being the mentor for a more junior manager in the same company (but also someone who is generally not in a direct day-to-day line management relationship).

What does it mean to be a coach?

A coach supports a client in achieving a specific personal or professional goal generally through the facilitation of learning by the coachee.

There is no one definition for coaching as a profession but there are some common themes that come out of coaching literature. Coaching can be described as:

“Unlocking people’s potential to maximise their own performance.” (Whitmore 2009: 11)

Or

“The art of facilitating the performance, learning and development of another.” (Downey, 2003:21)

Simply put, coaching is about helping someone to become more effective in their life and work. As with mentoring, this primarily happens through one-to-one conversations.

A typical example of coaching would be a client employing a coach for a defined number of sessions to address a specific challenge or achieve a particular aim, such as an executive employing a leadership coach to help improve their work-life balance.

Coaching and Mentoring Differences Made Simple

As with the varying definitions, there are also various comparisons available but it is important to remember that it is hard to always fix hard boundaries between the two disciplines.

A good simple summary of the difference between coaching and mentoring is outlined by Jonathan Passmore in his book Excellence in Coaching (Passmore, 2010:5) and replicated in the table below:

  Coach Mentor
1. Level of formality More formal: contract or ground rules set, often involving a third-party client Less formal: agreement, most typically between two parties
2. Length of contract Shorter term: typically between 4 and 12 meetings agreed over 2 to 12 months Longer term: typically unspecified number of meetings with relationships often running over 3 to 5 years
3. Focus More performance focussed: typically a greater focus on short-term skills and job performance More career focussed: typically concerned with longer-term career issues, obtaining the right experience and longer-term thinking
4. Level of sector knowledge More generalist: typically coaches have limited sector knowledge More sector knowledge: typically mentors have knowledge of organisation or business sector
5. Training More relationship training: typically coaches have a background in psychology, psychotherapy or HR More management training: typically mentors have a background in senior management
6. Focus Dual focus: more typically a dual focus on the needs of the individual and the needs of the organisation Single focus: more typically a single focus on the needs of the individual

If you would like to find out more about coaching and have an initial free coaching consultation then please email us using the contact page. Just click on this link: Contact Form

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References

  • Passmore, J. (ed) (2010) Excellence in Coaching. 2nd edn. London: Kogan Page.
  • Whitmore, J (2009) Coaching for Performance: GROWing Human Potential and Purpose: The Principles and Practice of Coaching and Leadership, 4th London: Nicholas Brealey.
  • Downey, M (2003) Effective Coaching: Lessons from the Coach’s Coach, 2nd London: Texere.
  • Van Nieuwerburgh, C. (2014) An Introduction to Coaching Skills. London: Sage.

If you want the right answers you have to start with the right questions

About The Right Questions

The Right Questions is for leaders who want coaching towards greater clarity, purpose and success. We are all leaders (whether we know it or not) as we all have influence. So the question is, what are you doing with your influence?

Wherever you are on your leadership journey, I hope that you find resources on this site to help you on the next leg of your quest. Even if that is just the inspiration to take one small step in the right direction, then that is a success. If you can take pleasure in learning and travelling as you go, then so much the better.

Need help navigating your journey to success?

I love to serve people, helping them unlock their potential, empowering them as leaders, and coaching them to achieve their goals. Please get in touch and let me know how I can support you!

The Surprising Power of Going for a Walk

Steve Jobs enjoyed the productivity of walking meetings. William Wordsworth’s creativity flowed from being in the open air. Aristotle lectured on the move and Henry David Thoreau did his best thinking while sauntering about.

What could taking a stroll do for you?

Walking can inspire conversation, improve relationships, unlock creativity, foster mindfulness, reduce stress and increase productivity. Walking also improves physical health and overall mental wellbeing. Here are some reasons why:

Time to think

Walking gives times time for reflection. There is a multitude of things clamouring for our attention so it is very easy to become reactive rather than proactive in our decision-making. Equally, being busy hampers our ability to create space and think creatively.

It is very hard to think constructively if pressed up against someone on public transport, while concentrating on driving or when staring at a computer screen. We need the time and the environment to think properly.

Getting up and taking a walk, even if it is to the water cooler, the coffee shop or local-park, can improve your thought processes. As Henry David Thoreau commented, getting out for a walk helps to free us from worldly engagements. Then we can start to think more clearly.

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Perspectives

“We are fallen mostly into pieces but the wild returns us to ourselves.”  Robert Macfarlane

Getting up and walking can help to give perspective. When we sit and concentrate on something we naturally focus on one thing. As we dwell on something it magnifies and the task or challenge can take over the whole of our field of vision and dominate the conscious mind. Concentration of this sort is very powerful but if we hit some sort of blockage – be that cognitive or emotional – it is very hard to break out of that situation.

By stepping out we can free ourselves of these confines and find a new perspective. Being able to see the horizon can make a real difference in how we feel. When our senses are triggered by other stimuli – be that sun or rain on our faces, the smell of wet grass or freshly baked bread, or the sound of a river or the wind in the trees – then our thoughts and feelings can be brought into context. Once we regain a clearer perspective then we allow new ideas and energy to flow in. In this way, we can better deal with the challenges we are facing.

Mindfulness and Thankfulness

There is a growing interest in mindfulness and this interest highlights the importance of being able to appreciate the present rather than living in the future or in the past. Being in the moment can help keep us grounded and can reduce stress.

There are various approaches to this sort of meditative state but I find that being in creation, surrounded by nature, fosters in me a feeling of thankfulness and spiritual connection that I do not experience in other circumstances. Walking can promote a positive or prayerful state, particularly when surrounded by the grandeur and beauty of the natural world.

Creative Space

A study at Stanford demonstrated that a person’s creative output increases by an average of 60% when walking (Opezzo and Schwartz, 2014). The research proved that just the physical activity of walking makes us more creative.

When we add an improved environment to this activity, by getting outside, our creativity can improve all the more. Being open to external influences and new experiences enable us to generate new connections and solutions.

Sitting still by definition means you are not going anywhere. Walking, by contrast, has direction, momentum and purpose. If you hit a blockage in your thinking get on the move to enable your problem solving.

Therefore it is no surprise that writers, poets, entrepreneurs and great thinkers down the ages have often taken long walks to spark their imagination and inventiveness.

“All truly great thoughts are conceived while walking.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

An Aid to Productivity

I am a keen reader and walking and reading are not easy (and generally not recommended), but with the advent of mobile technology, we can enjoy podcasts and audiobooks as well as music on our walks. In this way, walking can be a learning experience.

We can get work done too. I frequently save telephone calls for when I am walking between engagements, as this is a good use of time as well as generally being more pleasant than sitting at a desk. With increasingly good software available on mobile devices it is now easy to dictate as you walk too. You can capture thoughts, draft emails and make appointments as you amble along. Just remember, if you want time to think and reflect, remember to take your earphones out from time to time!

A journey to better relationships

I often choose to go for a walk when meeting someone. Whether it is discussing something with my wife, having a work meeting or even conducting a coaching session, I often find that going for a walk is conducive to good conversation. I think this is partly due to some of the reasons already outlined but there is also a powerful physical and psychological link that is created by walking with someone.

When walking together you are generally side-by-side as equals. This equality in proximity can help to foster parity in the thinking and conversation. Even when meeting someone in a line-management context there is no desk to get in the way or dominance from someone sitting in a larger chair. Getting outside generally provides a neutral environment too. By removing people from a work or even a home situation, not only are distractions reduced, but you can also create a place where people feel they matter in equal terms.

Walking with purpose

When you are walking together you are also going in the same direction. This is important as it can help to bring alignment psychologically. It develops a partnership as, by the nature of walking together, you are sharing a common purpose and destination. This can help bring about the same if your conversation.

In this was walking is in contrast to sitting facing someone, which is often the way we conduct meetings, and psychologically the reverse. When sitting (or standing) facing someone you can easily become more defensive of adversarial. The dynamic can become one of holding ground, looking in opposite directions. This can lead to a more critical form of debate. If emotions get raised then walking can work off some of the energy through exertion. If you are facing someone it is harder to de-escalate a situation.

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Communicating on the move

If walking is so good for communication, what about eye contact? This is a good point, and in most circumstances, I would recommend good eye contact for effective listening. When walking, as long as there are not too many obstacles, you can frequently look to the person talking, but eye contact is hard to maintain.

This situation can have some advantages though. Maintaining eye contact can sometimes make people feel self-conscious and in some situations or cultures, it can even be inappropriate. Walking can provide a less pressured context for listening although it may take more concentration by the listener to make sure someone is properly heard and encouraged.

Walking can have another advantage in aiding listening. The act of walking makes silences less pronounced and awkward. This means it is easier to give time and space for introspection and the construction of a thoughtful response. It reduces the need to quickly respond to what someone has said without reflection.

Walking to better health

“Walking is man’s best medicine” Hippocrates

The various physical and mental health benefits of walking have been known for a long time and are widely reported. Walking provides an easy (most of us do it already), cheap (no gym fees) and accessible (you can do it pretty much anywhere) way to do exercise.

It has been shown that even 20 minutes of light exercise, such as walking, can reduce the risk of death considerably, as was highlighted in the European Investigation into Cancer and Nutrition (EPIC) study. Research conducted by Cambridge University has shown that even in cities with pollution the benefits outweigh the risks.

So why not take a stroll yourself?

So walking can help you solve problems, gain clarity, have effective one-to-one meetings and helps you get fitter to boot.

Not sure about the weather? Well the Norwegians say there is no such thing as bad weather, just inappropriate clothing (and there are still nice places to walk inside if you disagree!)

And for inspiration I leave you with this:

“Above all, do not lose your desire to walk. Every day I walk myself into a state of well-being and walk away from every illness. I have walked myself into my best thoughts, and I know of no thought so burdensome that one cannot walk away from it.”  Soren Kierkegaard

Now, why not take a stroll for yourself?

And if you are interested in walking coaching, (my preferred method of leadership coaching), do drop me a line via the Contact Page to find out more.


References

Opezzo and Schwartz, 2014; http://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/xlm-a0036577.pdf)

https://www.cam.ac.uk/research/news/walking-and-cycling-good-for-health-even-in-cities-with-higher-levels-of-air-pollution

If you want the right answers you have to start with the right questions

About The Right Questions

The Right Questions is for leaders who want coaching towards greater clarity, purpose and success. We are all leaders (whether we know it or not) as we all have influence. So the question is, what are you doing with your influence?

Wherever you are on your leadership journey, I hope that you find resources on this site to help you on the next leg of your quest. Even if that is just the inspiration to take one small step in the right direction, then that is a success. If you can take pleasure in learning and travelling as you go, then so much the better.

Need help navigating your journey to success?

I love to serve people, helping them unlock their potential, empowering them as leaders, and coaching them to achieve their goals. Please get in touch and let me know how I can support you!

How To Improve Your Listening Skills

How good are your listening skills? Do you consider yourself a good listener? Do you know what it takes to listen actively and empathetically?

For those blessed with good hearing, listening is a primary sense and the audible environment shapes how we interact with the world. It is also a foundational leadership skill.

“When I was running training, we would fire a couple of leaders from every SEAL team because they couldn’t lead. And 99.9% of the time, it wasn’t a question of their ability – it was a question of their ability to listen.” – Jocko Willink

Considering how important hearing is, it is therefore amazing how bad our listening can be at times, and by that, I mean how well we focus our attention on what we are listening to.

Just think of the last time someone asked you, “Are you actually listening to me?” If you have a significant other I bet that it may have been days, if not hours ago!

Achieving a level of mastery of effective listening is not easy and does require skill. But these are skills, not character traits, and although some people may be naturally better at listening, everyone can learn the principles and improve through practice; this has certainly been my experience in learning to be a professional coach (although, as my wife will point out, there is plenty of room for improvement!)

Before looking at the skills involved in effective listening we need to answer the question: what is effective listening? Effective listening should have a positive impact, particularly on the speaker. First and foremost effective listening should result in making a person feel valued. Understanding is important, but secondary to this. Effectual listening should give a person space to think, to explore their feelings and construct what they want to say.

To achieve this level of effectiveness there are a few key skills that can really make the difference: providing the right environment; focused attention; empathy; and active listening.

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The Right Environment

The right environment is one that allows the person to feel at ease and gives them a platform to think and speak. This environment is physical, emotional and intellectual.

The physical environment should be comfortable and free of distraction or undue pressure for both the subject and the person listening. This is why it is often good to take someone away from his or her immediate work environment.

The demeanour, tone and body language of the listener helps to create the right emotional environment. Maintaining eye contact while listening, keeping an open posture, keeping mostly silent but giving occasional encouragement helps with this. Avoid fidgeting or looking at your watch. Completing people’s sentences or guessing words for them will also undermine the supportive environment you are creating. Most importantly of all, don’t interrupt!

The questions you pose to whomever you are listening to help to ensure the right intellectual environment and these combined create what Nancy Kline defines as the Thinking Environment (1999), where there is a sense of attention, ease and appreciation.

Focused Attention

Once a good listening environment has been created it is then important to give the person focused attention. They need to feel that they are being heard and as the listener, you need to be sure you are hearing what they are saying. This is harder than it sounds because as Stephen Covey notes, the problem is:

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply” (1989: 239).

To overcome this you need to mentally close off invading thoughts, comments and answers that you might have.

I am a solution-orientated person so I have often struggled with the deluge of ideas, experiences and comparisons that can come rushing in when someone is speaking. Knowing that the power of coaching is allowing people to come up with their own solutions I have developed strategies to deal with this. One mental technique I use is visualising shutting a door on each invading thought to actively close them out, so I can re-focus on what is being said.

Empathy and emotional intelligence

Once you have the right level of attention to what is being said, the next step is to connect with the feelings that are being expressed. As Daniel Kahneman observes, it’s very hard to distinguish between what a person believes and what they say they believe (2011). Therefore we need to understand the emotive context of their language.

To understand the emotional subtext to the words being said we need to listen to the other person’s viewpoint and start to comprehend things from their perspective. This is something that requires emotional intelligence as defined by Salovey and Mayer (1990).

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What does it mean to actively listen?

The combining of the right environment, focus and empathy creates the conditions for active listening. Bresser and Wilson describe active listening as the highest level of listening (2006) and Julie Starr states that active listening is a fundamental skill within coaching (2008). When active listening is being used then the listener has a fuller understanding of what is being communicated, can recall what a person has said and, when appropriate, reflect, paraphrase or respond to the speaker.

When actively listening to someone I find it is possible to get into a state of flow where there is an increased level of energy and focus. Using the steps of creating the right environment and then tuning into people’s feelings quickens this process. Continual practice is helping me – and can help anyone – achieve this state more frequently and for longer. I also find that a period of preparation beforehand facilitates this state more quickly. Equally, time for reflection after a conversation can help me critique my listening with a view to be even better the next time around.

You can always be better

Even simple skills require mastery but the good news is everyone can get better at both. We can all employ active listening that makes people feel valued. We can strive to use incisive questions that challenge assumptions and deepen understanding. Through this, we can all be part of unlocking people’s potential. Knowing this inspires me to keep practising these skills and helping people become more effective at achieving their goals.


References

Brasser, F and Wilson, C (2006) What is Coaching?, in Passmore, J (ed) Excellence in Coaching, London: Kogan Page

Covey, S R (1989) The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, London: Simon and Schuster

Kahneman, D (2011) Thinking Fast and Slow, New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux

Kline, N (1999) Time to Think. London: Ward Lock

Salovey, P and Mayer, J D (1990) Emotional Intelligence, Imagination, Cognition and Personality, 9, pp185-211

Starr, J (2008) The Coaching Manual. Harlow: Pearson Education

If you want the right answers you have to start with the right questions

About The Right Questions

The Right Questions is for leaders who want coaching towards greater clarity, purpose and success. We are all leaders (whether we know it or not) as we all have influence. So the question is, what are you doing with your influence?

Wherever you are on your leadership journey, I hope that you find resources on this site to help you on the next leg of your quest. Even if that is just the inspiration to take one small step in the right direction, then that is a success. If you can take pleasure in learning and travelling as you go, then so much the better.

Need help navigating your journey to success?

I love to serve people, helping them unlock their potential, empowering them as leaders, and coaching them to achieve their goals. Please get in touch and let me know how I can support you!