Who can best help you achieve your goals? Which person can guide you to where you need to go? Who can help you develop beyond what you can accomplish on your own?
The mountain guide
A wide snow-covered glacier flowed down the mountain in front of me. It was a tableau of almost pure white, only blemished by the occasional blue-grey streaks that hinted at crevasses. It did not look like a ski run. There was no piste, no markers, no other skiers. A single cable car had taken us to the top, and that was the only thing indicating this was a ski area.
We were in La Grave in the French Alps, a mecca for off-piste snow sports. I was with Chris, a mountain guide. He was helping me achieve my dream of making some first ski ascents and descents of mountains in Greenland. But we both knew that before I got anywhere near Greenland, I needed to build my ski touring skills and my ability to negotiate glaciers.
How on earth do we get down there? That was the unspoken question in my mind. There were no tracks, let alone coloured runs to follow. Chris looked over, smiled and coolly said, “Just follow my line, and if I stop, then halt above me.” There was no chance to reply, let alone question this statement, as he had already set off, making his first turn in the virgin powder.
I took a deep breath, told myself, “Just do as he said” and then turned into Chris’ tracks. As I started to move and focussed on pursuing Chris down the hill, my anxiety subsided.
I had faith in Chris. His qualifications, experience and visible competence all inspired trust, but what’s more he had a character of contagious calm. So, I followed.
By the time I was at the bottom of the glacier, my confidence had reached new levels. Hell! I had just skied down a glacier; I could do anything!
As we mounted the lift to take us up again Chris said, “Right, now it’s your turn to lead.” My self-assurance melted faster than the snow on my boots. Chris smiled and added, “I will be right behind you.”
What is a guide or life coach and what do they do?
A good guide or coach does many things. As illustrated in my story, a guide can lead the way and provide instruction. Similarly, a coach helps people towards their goals and helps them to push their boundaries.
The role of the guide was introduced in the last section. In The Right Questions Framework, the context of a guide is similar to that of expeditions. A guide is an experienced practitioner who can lead, instruct and coach people to assist them in reaching their destination. Similarly, a life coach helps someone improve their life, often through supporting them in progressing towards specific targets.
I love adventure and am a qualified mountain leader and a certified coach. Therefore, it is no surprise that I see the roles as complementary and largely synonymous. Both a guide and coach support people in getting where they want to go. Returning to the beginning of The Right Questions Framework, and the analogy of life as a journey, we can see how these roles interplay.
At this point, it is worth clarifying the difference between the roles of a coach (or guide) and that of a mentor (what we referred to as a Sage in the last section).
A mentor is usually someone who has more seniority and experience within a specific field, shared with the person being mentored. For example, a more senior business person might mentor a more junior manager, within a given industry. It is therefore a narrower focus than that of coaching. The roles are different but complementary. In my experience, it is good to have both.
Anyone can benefit from a coach or guide. Unfortunately for me, it took me a long time to appreciate this. In my mountaineering, for many years I avoided the services of a mountain guide, choosing to learn things on my own, or muddling through with similarly inexperienced friends. I did improve, but slowly, and I picked up some bad habits.
Equally, in my professional life, it was many years before I had my own coach or mentor. I made progress but struggled to achieve my larger goals. Ironically, one of these goals was to become a professional executive coach, and it was not until I employed my own coach that I successfully made the transition.
Therefore, a coach or guide is for anyone who wants to accelerate their progression and improve their chances of success. If you want evidence for this, then I recommend watching the excellent TED talk by Atul Gawande, who provides compelling evidence for the effectiveness of coaching.
“Coaching helps you take stock of where you are now in all aspects of your life, and how that compares to where you would like to be.” Elaine MacDonald
How does a coaching relationship work and how should coaching be conducted?
Coaching can take many forms, but most life coaching is structured around regular sessions. These are usually about 30-90 minutes long, either one-to-one or in small groups. They can be in-person or online.
A coach leads the coachee but mostly in a non-directive manner. In other words, a coach doesn’t tell someone what to do; they ask questions, listen, and probe assumptions. This creates a good thinking environment and allows the person being coached to come up with their own solutions.
When finding someone who can be your guide or life coach there are various things to consider. First and foremost, picking a coach is choosing a key member of your team. It is an important relationship and therefore I recommend thinking through the 4 Cs of:
Character
Competence
Chemistry
Confidentiality
Character – picking someone you respect
Character is perhaps the most important thing. If you want someone to be your guide or coach, you want them to be a person who you can trust and respect.
Competence – certification, qualification and experience
Secondly, you want someone who is competent. This is usually a mixture of qualifications, skills and experience. Most coaches have certification to one of the larger professional coaching bodies such as the Association of Coaching or International Coaching Federation.
For example, as well as having over a decade of experience in life and executive coaching, I studied Coaching and Mentoring at Warwick University and am a Member of the Association of Coaching.
Chemistry – making sure the relationship works
Relationships are easier if there is chemistry. It’s a fact of life that there are some people we naturally get along with. This is not essential in this type of relationship – as a guide or coach is there to challenge us – but it does make things more enjoyable.
Confidentiality – ensuring trust and openness
Confidentiality is essential in a coaching relationship. When being coached we need to know that the person we are talking to is not going to share any details of what is discussed, or at least not without prior consent. There are of course a few exceptions to this rule (for example if a coachee shared something illegal or potentially harmful) but in the main, what is discussed between a coach and coachee stays just between them.
Other factors to consider
There are other things to consider such as proximity to the coach (if you want to meet in person), the affordability of the sessions and the particular approach that the coach favours, but in my experience the 4Cs are the priority factors for a successful coaching relationship.
“Each person holds so much power within themselves that needs to be let out. Sometimes they just need a little nudge, a little direction, a little support, a little coaching, and the greatest things can happen.” – Pete Carroll
Master the tool: finding a life coach and guide for your goals
It is no surprise that I recommend finding a personal guide or life coach. It is down to my experience. I am a highly motivated person but I have only been able to achieve my biggest goals and truly achieve my maximum potential with the assistance of a coach.
Even though life coaching and sports coaching are different in some respects, it is worth remembering that no one expects an athlete to compete at the top level without coaching. The same goes for our work, our lives, our dreams. If we want to achieve our maximum, we need help. That is why now – even though I am a qualified coach – I still have an executive coach and a mentor.
Therefore, take some time now to think about who could coach you. Follow these steps:
First, specify the key thing you want to be coached in. The skill you want to develop or the goal you want to achieve will affect who you might choose. Even though coaching is a generalist skill, there are coaches and trainers who specialise in certain areas (for example human performance, leadership, communication etc).
Think about who you can think of who exemplifies what you want to achieve. Who is the world’s best or leading authority? Could they help?
Who in your network could either help directly or make coach/guide recommendations?
Use the 4Cs to make a list of questions or guidelines that you can use to narrow your search and focus your discussion with any potential coach.
Make some introductions to some coaches, either from the ones you have already come up with or any others you find with further research. Aim for at least three and then assess them against the 4Cs.
And, if you are interested in finding out more about the coaching I offer, be that life coaching, executive coaching or leadership coaching, send me a message via the contact page. I look forward to hearing from you.
If you want the right answers you have to start with the right questions
About The Right Questions
The Right Questions is for people who want greater clarity, purpose and success. There is a wealth of resources to boost your effectiveness in achieving goals, your leadership of yourself and others, and your decision-making.
Wherever you are on your journey, I hope that you find information on this site to help you on the next leg of your quest. Even if that is just the inspiration to take one small step in the right direction, then that is a success. If you can take pleasure in learning and travelling as you go, then so much the better.
I love to serve people, helping them unlock their potential, empowering them as leaders, and assisting them in achieving their goals. Please get in touch and let me know how I can support you!
The initial questions of why (principles, priorities and passions) where (situation and vision) and what (mission, success criteria) provide the strategic framing for any plans we make. The quality of the options we develop to achieve success and the effectiveness of our planning depends largely on the development of the overall strategy.
The second part or stage is called the ‘reflection point’. In every decision making cycle you consider your options in the light of the situation, the risks and opportunities. This reflection point either takes you back to Stage 1, and a further iteration of refining the Strategic Framing, or onto Stage 3, Developing a Plan, where an actionable plan can be created for the chosen course of action, fulfilling the strategy.
The third section on planning uses the questions how, who and when to explore the detail needed to deliver on your desired course of action in alignment with your overall strategy.
If you want the right answers you have to start with the right questions
About The Right Questions
The Right Questions is for people who want greater clarity, purpose and success. There is a wealth of resources to boost your effectiveness in achieving goals, your leadership of yourself and others, and your decision-making.
Wherever you are on your journey, I hope that you find information on this site to help you on the next leg of your quest. Even if that is just the inspiration to take one small step in the right direction, then that is a success. If you can take pleasure in learning and travelling as you go, then so much the better.
I love to serve people, helping them unlock their potential, empowering them as leaders, and assisting them in achieving their goals. Please get in touch and let me know how I can support you!
9 Insightful Questions To Figure Out Your Life Goals
What do you want to achieve in life?
There are lots of approaches you can take to figure out life goals. You may already keep a bucket list of things you want to do but sometimes it is helpful to think about what we want to achieve using different tools. Each new approach can generate new ideas or give further insight into earlier thinking.
Your desire might be to unlock your purpose in life or just to generate ideas for goals you want to achieve. Either way, this set of questions can help you to create and explore your aims, desires, and dreams.
How to figure out life goals
These questions are based on coaching tips from Michael Neill in his book Supercoach. They are questions that I have found particularly helpful, both for setting my own personal goals and for helping people I coach as they set their life goals.
Go through each question in turn and write down as many ideas as you can against each one.
What things should you achieve?
In other words, what do you feel duty-bound to do? What do you feel is a responsibility or a necessity to achieve?
Which goals are logical?
Another way of asking this question would be, what is the rational thing to progress to? What would be a natural thing to achieve if you follow the course you are presently on?
Which goals give you déjà vu?
Which goals are always on your list and never seem to go away? What goal have you always wanted to do but never succeeded in?
What goals would somebody else set you?
If you asked your best friend or a family member, what sort of goal would they set for you? Think about your spouse or partner, what would they say should be your goal?
Which dreams express your deep wants?
Which goal reflects the deepest desires of your heart? What would give you the greatest satisfaction to achieve?
What would you ask for from your fairy godmother?
If you could wish for anything, what would that be? How about three wishes? What would you ask for?
What are your happy wants?
Which things do you want to achieve that will make you happy? Which ideas make you happy even just thinking about doing them?
What are your naughty wants?
Which goals do you have that you have never told anyone about? What would you like to achieve but have been too embarrassed to share with anyone or too scared to try?
What do you think “if only” I could have achieved?
When you look back in life, what do you wish you had achieved? If you could turn back the clock what would you have done differently?
How to prioritise your life goals
After answering all the questions above you should have a long list of ideas and dreams. The next task is to prioritise these goals and work out which one you want to achieve first.
Here are some more questions to help you narrow down your selection:
Which achievement would have the biggest positive impact on your life?
Which dream, if you did not achieve it, would you be most disappointed about?
How to achieve life goals
Once you have prioritised your list of goals and chosen which one (or more) that you want to achieve, the next step is examining the goal in more detail and developing a plan to help you to succeed.
There are other tools that can help you with this such as stating your goal as a SMART task and making sure it is specific, measurable, attainable, relevant and time-bound.
Another technique, common to coaching, is using the GROW model. Here you state your goal, then look at the reality of your situation and what your starting point is. Then you consider the options or obstacles that you face in achieving your mission, then work out the best way forward and commit your will to fulfil your dream.
Good luck with achieving your life goals!
If you want the right answers you have to start with the right questions
About The Right Questions
The Right Questions is for people who want greater clarity, purpose and success. There is a wealth of resources to boost your effectiveness in achieving goals, your leadership of yourself and others, and your decision-making.
Wherever you are on your journey, I hope that you find information on this site to help you on the next leg of your quest. Even if that is just the inspiration to take one small step in the right direction, then that is a success. If you can take pleasure in learning and travelling as you go, then so much the better.
I love to serve people, helping them unlock their potential, empowering them as leaders, and assisting them in achieving their goals. Please get in touch and let me know how I can support you!
The GROW model is a popular problem-solving tool used in coaching. It is a simple and effective way to help people set and achieve goals.
The GROW process was developed by Sir John Whitmore, Graham Alexander and Alan Fine, and then popularised by Max Landsberg in his book The Tao of Coaching. Subsequently, it has been used extensively, particularly in corporate coaching settings and has become something of the industry-standard tool (Passmore 2010).
What does GROW stand for?
The word ‘GROW’ is an acronym for a four-stage coaching tool, but exactly what the acronym stands for does differ slightly from practitioner to practitioner. Commonly it that stands for:
Goal – The clearly defined endpoint
Reality – The present situation with is challenges and opportunities
Options (or Obstacles) – Having identified challenges and opportunities, various options can be explored to help achieve the goal and overcome obstacles
Will (or Way Forward/Wrap Up) – The Will or Way Forward step is the breaking down of the goal into achievable steps.
How to use the GROW model
How do you use the GROW process?
Here we will look at each of the stages in turn for a more detailed view on how to apply the GROW model:
Goal
The first step is used to explore the goal that the individual or team want to achieve. It is important to clearly identify the aim, define the mission and understand what success looks like.
It is worth spending time on this step as the end state needs to be properly honed. The goal is a chance to capture the vision, mission and values of a person. This in turn helps to identify a target that is inspirational, challenging and fits into the bigger picture of a coachee’s life and work.
Here are some example questions that could be used at this stage:
What do you want to discuss?
What is the issue?
Which is the most important thing you want to achieve?
What does success look like?
What is your vision for the future?
How do you really want things to work out?
Why is this goal important to you?
What would achieving this aim feel like?
How would this goal contribute to other aims?
How will you know when you have achieved your mission?
The next step in the GROW model is looking at the reality of the situation. This involves considering the present with all its challenges and opportunities.
There is an element of looking back to see what has happened in the past and how this has shaped the present. This can mean facing some uncomfortable truths or confronting the brutal facts as Jim Collins puts it in his excellent book Good to Great (Collins, J. 2001).
Here are some potential questions to use at the Reality stage:
What has happened to bring you to this point?
What is going on now?
Who is involved?
How does the present situation make you feel?
Is there anything holding you back?
What are the challenges that you are facing?
What is the cause of these challenges?
Which assumptions have you made?
At the Reality stage of the GROW model it may also be useful to apply the SWOT analysis which can help identify the key factors relating to the present situation.
Having defined the goal and explored the reality of the situation the next step is the look at various options to help achieve the goal. Sometimes the ‘O’ in the GROW model is used for ‘Obstacles’ as the options can provide different courses of action to overcome the various challenges that have been identified.
Here are some questions to consider at the Options stage:
Which alternative ways could you achieve the goal?
How can you overcome the obstacles?
What would you do if resources were not a problem?
Is there anyone who can help you?
What are the advantages and disadvantages of each course of action?
Having looked at options and identified the course of action the ‘Will’ or ‘Way Forward’ step of the GROW model is the breaking down of the goal into achievable steps that someone can commit to.
This stage helps to wrap up the session and make sure that, by the end, the coachee has committed to some concrete and achievable actions. These can be pursued and measured between sessions.
Here are some questions to help at this stage:
Which tasks need to be completed to achieve the goal?
The GROW model is designed to be task-focused and is therefore good in work and sports situations. Its simplicity is a strength but does mean that it is a less holistic model and can miss some of the broader contexts of change. For example, other tools might complement the GROW model when looking at behavioural change, life coaching and career change.
Another simple and complementary tool is the Wheel of Life, which is useful in identifying where roles and goals may be out of balance. This can provide a good starting point for specific goals that you want to explore using the GROW model or The Right Questions approach.
The GROW model, as with any process, is only as good as its application. As Sir John Whitmore stated “even dictators can use GROW!” A coach should ensure that the model is utilised in a subtle way, bringing structure to the coaching session but in an unconscious and natural way. And, as with other coaching models, active listening is critical to its successful application.
How does the GROW model compare to other tools?
The GROW model is simple and this is one of the reasons that make it very effective and popular. Even with the differing interpretations of the acronym, it provides a relatively memorable structure and does not take much knowledge or practice to apply. It can also be used to explore and plan for a large number of different goals.
The simplicity of the model does mean that it lends itself to a quick look at a problem. As mentioned previously, for more depth it is sometimes beneficial to use the GROW model in conjunction with other tools and processes.
Goals
The first two stages of the GROW model relate to the Strategic Framing steps (where what and why) of The Right Questions model. In both tools, the aim is to properly understand the problem and situation before assessing options and making a plan. This is also equivalent to the Observe and Orientate stages of the OODA loop.
Reality
Another useful tool to use at the Reality stage is the SWOT methodology; a simple yet effective way of looking at the present situation.
Obstacles and Options
‘Obstacles and Options’ in the GROW process is covered by ‘Which’ in The Right Questions that cover risk as well as courses of action. Here the aim is to look at different ways to achieve the same goal.
At the Options stage, using tools such as lateral thinking can beneficial to generate new courses of action and the Belbin Team Model can be of great use in working out who might be able to help and how.
Will or Way Forward
The ‘Will’ of the GROW method is primarily covered by the Planning Phase (the when who and how) of The Right Questions. For more complicated goals traditional Project Management processes may be useful to apply. At a simpler level, using the SMART tool helps to capture the original goal and make sure the next step is an achievable one.
Next Steps
You may want also want some help, delving deeper into these tools or identifying your goals. I have the pleasure of assisting many amazing individuals and organisations in my work. If you would like some assistance too, in person or online, then please do drop me a line. You can email me via the contact page.
If you would like to find out more about coaching and have an initial free coaching consultation then please email us using the contact page. Just click on this link:Contact Form
References
Colins, J. (2001) Good to Great. New York: Random House Business.
If you want the right answers you have to start with the right questions
About The Right Questions
The Right Questions is for people who want greater clarity, purpose and success. There is a wealth of resources to boost your effectiveness in achieving goals, your leadership of yourself and others, and your decision-making.
Wherever you are on your journey, I hope that you find information on this site to help you on the next leg of your quest. Even if that is just the inspiration to take one small step in the right direction, then that is a success. If you can take pleasure in learning and travelling as you go, then so much the better.
I love to serve people, helping them unlock their potential, empowering them as leaders, and assisting them in achieving their goals. Please get in touch and let me know how I can support you!
What is the Difference Between Coaching and Mentoring?
A Coach or Mentor – Same Same but Different?
The terms coaching and mentoring are often used synonymously but in professional terms, there are some subtle yet important differences. Having worked as both a coach and a mentor it is not that one is better than the other, it is that they are slightly different approaches to achieve slightly different things.
It is also worth noting that in practice there can be considerable overlap between the two but mixing up the terms can be confusing and frustrating (Nieuwerburgh, 2014). Therefore, the differences in emphasis and approach are important to know, especially if you are looking for either a coach or a mentor and trying to work out what would suit you best.
What does it mean to be a mentor?
A mentor is someone who is generally more experienced and who passes on that knowledge to someone who is less experienced within a certain area of expertise. The mentor is often someone older but not necessarily so; it is more about the mentor having specialist knowledge that they can impart to the person being mentored.
A classic example would be a senior manager within a company being the mentor for a more junior manager in the same company (but also someone who is generally not in a direct day-to-day line management relationship).
What does it mean to be a coach?
A coach supports a client in achieving a specific personal or professional goal generally through the facilitation of learning by the coachee.
There is no one definition for coaching as a profession but there are some common themes that come out of coaching literature. Coaching can be described as:
Unlocking people’s potential to maximise their own performance. (Whitmore 2009: 11)
Or
The art of facilitating the performance, learning and development of another. (Downey, 2003:21)
Simply put, coaching is about helping someone to become more effective in their life and work. As with mentoring, this primarily happens through one-to-one conversations.
A typical example of coaching would be a client employing a coach for a defined number of sessions to address a specific challenge or achieve a particular aim, such as improving work-life balance.
Coaching and Mentoring Differences Made Simple
As with the varying definitions, there are also various comparisons available but it is important to remember that it is hard to always fix hard boundaries between the two disciplines.
A good simple summary of the difference between coaching and mentoring is outlined by Jonathan Passmore in his book Excellence in Coaching (Passmore, 2010:5) and replicated in the table below:
Coach
Mentor
1. Level of formality
More formal: contract or ground rules set, often involving a third-party client
Less formal: agreement, most typically between two parties
2. Length of contract
Shorter term: typically between 4 and 12 meetings agreed over 2 to 12 months
Longer term: typically unspecified number of meetings with relationships often running over 3 to 5 years
3. Focus
More performance focussed: typically a greater focus on short-term skills and job performance
More career focussed: typically concerned with longer-term career issues, obtaining the right experience and longer-term thinking
4. Level of sector knowledge
More generalist: typically coaches have limited sector knowledge
More sector knowledge: typically mentors have knowledge of organisation or business sector
5. Training
More relationship training: typically coaches have a background in psychology, psychotherapy or HR
More management training: typically mentors have a background in senior management
6. Focus
Dual focus: more typically a dual focus on the needs of the individual and the needs of the organisation
Single focus: more typically a single focus on the needs of the individual
If you would like to find out more about coaching and have an initial free coaching consultation then please email us using the contact page. Just click on this link:Contact Form
References
Passmore, J. (ed) (2010) Excellence in Coaching. 2nd edn. London: Kogan Page.
Whitmore, J (2009) Coaching for Performance: GROWing Human Potential and Purpose: The Principles and Practice of Coaching and Leadership, 4th London: Nicholas Brealey.
Downey, M (2003) Effective Coaching: Lessons from the Coach’s Coach, 2nd London: Texere.
Van Nieuwerburgh, C. (2014) An Introduction to Coaching Skills. London: Sage.
If you want the right answers you have to start with the right questions
About The Right Questions
The Right Questions is for people who want greater clarity, purpose and success. There is a wealth of resources to boost your effectiveness in achieving goals, your leadership of yourself and others, and your decision-making.
Wherever you are on your journey, I hope that you find information on this site to help you on the next leg of your quest. Even if that is just the inspiration to take one small step in the right direction, then that is a success. If you can take pleasure in learning and travelling as you go, then so much the better.
I love to serve people, helping them unlock their potential, empowering them as leaders, and assisting them in achieving their goals. Please get in touch and let me know how I can support you!
Steve Jobs enjoyed the productivity of walking meetings. William Wordsworth’s creativity flowed from being in the open air. Aristotle lectured on the move and Henry David Thoreau did his best thinking while sauntering about.
What could taking a stroll do for you?
Walking can inspire conversation, improve relationships, unlock creativity, foster mindfulness, reduce stress and increase productivity. Walking also improves physical health and overall mental wellbeing. Here are some reasons why:
Time to think
Walking gives times time for reflection. There is a multitude of things clamouring for our attention so it is very easy to become reactive rather than proactive in our decision-making. Equally, being busy hampers our ability to create space and think creatively.
It is very hard to think constructively if pressed up against someone on public transport, while concentrating on driving or when staring at a computer screen. We need the time and the environment to think properly.
Getting up and taking a walk, even if it is to the water cooler, the coffee shop or local-park, can improve your thought processes. As Henry David Thoreau commented, getting out for a walk helps to free us from worldly engagements. Then we can start to think more clearly.
Perspectives
“We are fallen mostly into pieces but the wild returns us to ourselves.” Robert Macfarlane
Getting up and walking can help to give perspective. When we sit and concentrate on something we naturally focus on one thing. As we dwell on something it magnifies and the task or challenge can take over the whole of our field of vision and dominate the conscious mind. Concentration of this sort is very powerful but if we hit some sort of blockage – be that cognitive or emotional – it is very hard to break out of that situation.
By stepping out we can free ourselves of these confines and find a new perspective. Being able to see the horizon can make a real difference in how we feel. When our senses are triggered by other stimuli – be that sun or rain on our faces, the smell of wet grass or freshly baked bread, or the sound of a river or the wind in the trees – then our thoughts and feelings can be brought into context. Once we regain a clearer perspective then we allow new ideas and energy to flow in. In this way, we can better deal with the challenges we are facing.
Mindfulness and Thankfulness
There is a growing interest in mindfulness and this interest highlights the importance of being able to appreciate the present rather than living in the future or in the past. Being in the moment can help keep us grounded and can reduce stress.
There are various approaches to this sort of meditative state but I find that being in creation, surrounded by nature, fosters in me a feeling of thankfulness and spiritual connection that I do not experience in other circumstances. Walking can promote a positive or prayerful state, particularly when surrounded by the grandeur and beauty of the natural world.
Creative Space
A study at Stanford demonstrated that a person’s creative output increases by an average of 60% when walking (Opezzo and Schwartz, 2014). The research proved that just the physical activity of walking makes us more creative.
When we add an improved environment to this activity, by getting outside, our creativity can improve all the more. Being open to external influences and new experiences enable us to generate new connections and solutions.
Sitting still by definition means you are not going anywhere. Walking, by contrast, has direction, momentum and purpose. If you hit a blockage in your thinking get on the move to enable your problem solving.
Therefore it is no surprise that writers, poets, entrepreneurs and great thinkers down the ages have often taken long walks to spark their imagination and inventiveness.
“All truly great thoughts are conceived while walking.”
Friedrich Nietzsche
An Aid to Productivity
I am a keen reader and walking and reading are not easy (and generally not recommended), but with the advent of mobile technology, we can enjoy podcasts and audiobooks as well as music on our walks. In this way, walking can be a learning experience.
We can get work done too. I frequently save telephone calls for when I am walking between engagements, as this is a good use of time as well as generally being more pleasant than sitting at a desk. With increasingly good software available on mobile devices it is now easy to dictate as you walk too. You can capture thoughts, draft emails and make appointments as you amble along. Just remember, if you want time to think and reflect, remember to take your earphones out from time to time!
A journey to better relationships
I often choose to go for a walk when meeting someone. Whether it is discussing something with my wife, having a work meeting or even conducting a coaching session, I often find that going for a walk is conducive to good conversation. I think this is partly due to some of the reasons already outlined but there is also a powerful physical and psychological link that is created by walking with someone.
When walking together you are generally side-by-side as equals. This equality in proximity can help to foster parity in the thinking and conversation. Even when meeting someone in a line-management context there is no desk to get in the way or dominance from someone sitting in a larger chair. Getting outside generally provides a neutral environment too. By removing people from a work or even a home situation, not only are distractions reduced, but you can also create a place where people feel they matter in equal terms.
Walking with purpose
When you are walking together you are also going in the same direction. This is important as it can help to bring alignment psychologically. It develops a partnership as, by the nature of walking together, you are sharing a common purpose and destination. This can help bring about the same if your conversation.
In this was walking is in contrast to sitting facing someone, which is often the way we conduct meetings, and psychologically the reverse. When sitting (or standing) facing someone you can easily become more defensive of adversarial. The dynamic can become one of holding ground, looking in opposite directions. This can lead to a more critical form of debate. If emotions get raised then walking can work off some of the energy through exertion. If you are facing someone it is harder to de-escalate a situation.
Communicating on the move
If walking is so good for communication, what about eye contact? This is a good point, and in most circumstances, I would recommend good eye contact for effective listening. When walking, as long as there are not too many obstacles, you can frequently look to the person talking, but eye contact is hard to maintain.
This situation can have some advantages though. Maintaining eye contact can sometimes make people feel self-conscious and in some situations or cultures, it can even be inappropriate. Walking can provide a less pressured context for listening although it may take more concentration by the listener to make sure someone is properly heard and encouraged.
Walking can have another advantage in aiding listening. The act of walking makes silences less pronounced and awkward. This means it is easier to give time and space for introspection and the construction of a thoughtful response. It reduces the need to quickly respond to what someone has said without reflection.
Walking to better health
“Walking is man’s best medicine” Hippocrates
The various physical and mental health benefits of walking have been known for a long time and are widely reported. Walking provides an easy (most of us do it already), cheap (no gym fees) and accessible (you can do it pretty much anywhere) way to do exercise.
It has been shown that even 20 minutes of light exercise, such as walking, can reduce the risk of death considerably, as was highlighted in the European Investigation into Cancer and Nutrition (EPIC) study. Research conducted by Cambridge University has shown that even in cities with pollution the benefits outweigh the risks.
So why not take a stroll yourself?
So walking can help you solve problems, gain clarity, have effective one-to-one meetings and helps you get fitter to boot.
Not sure about the weather? Well the Norwegians say there is no such thing as bad weather, just inappropriate clothing (and there are still nice places to walk inside if you disagree!)
And for inspiration I leave you with this:
“Above all, do not lose your desire to walk. Every day I walk myself into a state of well-being and walk away from every illness. I have walked myself into my best thoughts, and I know of no thought so burdensome that one cannot walk away from it.” Soren Kierkegaard
Now, why not take a stroll for yourself?
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If you want the right answers you have to start with the right questions
About The Right Questions
The Right Questions is for people who want greater clarity, purpose and success. There is a wealth of resources to boost your effectiveness in achieving goals, your leadership of yourself and others, and your decision-making.
Wherever you are on your journey, I hope that you find information on this site to help you on the next leg of your quest. Even if that is just the inspiration to take one small step in the right direction, then that is a success. If you can take pleasure in learning and travelling as you go, then so much the better.
I love to serve people, helping them unlock their potential, empowering them as leaders, and assisting them in achieving their goals. Please get in touch and let me know how I can support you!
Do you know what it takes to be a good listener? For those of blessed with good hearing, listening is a primary sense and the audible environment shapes how we interact with the world. Considering how important hearing is, it is therefore amazing how bad our listening can be at times, and by that I mean our focussed attention on what we are listening to.
Just think of the last time someone asked you, “Are you actually listening to me?” If you have a significant other my bet is that it may have been days if not hours ago!
Achieving a level of mastery of effective listening is not easy and does require skill. But these are skills, not character traits, and although some people may be naturally better at listening, everyone can learn the principles and improve through practice; this has certainly been my experience (although as my wife will point out, there is plenty of room for improvement!)
Before looking at the skills involved in effective listening we need to answer the question: what is effective listening? Effective listening should have a positive impact, particularly on the speaker. First and foremost effective listening should result in making a person feel valued. Understanding is important, but secondary to this. Effectual listening should give a person space to think, to explore their feelings and construct what they want to say.
To achieve this level of effectiveness there are a few key skills that can really make the difference: providing the right environment; focused attention; empathy; and active listening.
The Right Environment
The right environment is one that allows the person to feel at ease and gives them a platform to think and speak. This environment is physical, emotional and intellectual.
The physical environment should be comfortable and free of distraction or undue pressure for both the subject and the person listening. This is why it is often good to take someone away from his or her immediate work environment.
The demeanour, tone and body language of the listener helps to create the right emotional environment. Maintaining eye contact while listening, keeping an open posture, keeping mostly silent but giving occasional encouragement helps with this. Avoid fidgeting or looking at your watch. Completing people’s sentences or guessing words for them will also undermine the supportive environment you are creating. Most importantly of all, don’t interrupt!
The questions you pose to whomever you are listening to help to ensure the right intellectual environment, and these combined create what Nancy Kline defines as the Thinking Environment (1999), where there is a sense of attention, ease and appreciation.
Focused Attention
Once a good listening environment has been created it is then important to give the person focused attention. They need to feel that they are being heard and as the listener, you need to be sure you are hearing what they are saying. This is harder than it sounds because as Stephen Covey notes, the problem is “most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply” (1989: 239). To overcome this you need to mentally close off invading thoughts, comments and answers that you might have.
I am a solution-orientated person so I have often struggled with the deluge of ideas, experiences and comparisons that can come rushing in when someone is speaking. Knowing that the power of coaching is allowing people to come up with their own solutions I have developed strategies to deal with this. One mental technique I use is visualising shutting a door on each invading thought to actively close them out, so I can re-focus on what is being said.
Empathy and emotional intelligence
Once you have the right level of attention on what is being said, the next step is to connect with the feelings that are being expressed. As Daniel Kahneman observes, it’s very hard to distinguish between what a person believes and what they say they believe (2011). Therefore we need to understand the emotive context of their language.
To understand the emotional subtext to the words being said we need to listen to the other person’s viewpoint and start to comprehend things from their perspective. This is something that requires emotional intelligence as defined by Salovey and Mayer (1990).
What does it mean to actively listen?
The combining of the right environment, focus and empathy creates the conditions for active listening. Bresser and Wilson describe active listening as the highest level of listening (2006) and Julie Starr states that active listening is a fundamental skill within coaching (2008). When active listening is being used then the listener has a fuller understanding of what is being communicated, can recall what a person has said and, when appropriate, reflect, paraphrase or respond to the speaker.
When actively listening to someone I find it is possible to get into a state of flow where there is an increased level of energy and focus. Using the steps of creating the right environment and then tuning into people’s feelings quickens this process. Continual practice is helping me – and can help anyone – achieve this state more frequently and for longer. I also find that a period of preparation beforehand facilitates this state more quickly. Equally, time for reflection after a conversation can help me critique my listening with a view to be even better the next time around.
You can always be better
Even simple skills require mastery but the good news is everyone can get better at both. We can all employ active listening that makes people feel valued. We can strive to use incisive questions that challenge assumptions and deepen understanding. Through this we can all be part of unlocking people’s potential. Knowing this inspires me to keep practicing these skills and helping people become more effective at achieving their goals.
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References
Brasser, F and Wilson, C (2006) What is Coaching?, in Passmore, J (ed) Excellence in Coaching, London: Kogan Page
If you want the right answers you have to start with the right questions
About The Right Questions
The Right Questions is for people who want greater clarity, purpose and success. There is a wealth of resources to boost your effectiveness in achieving goals, your leadership of yourself and others, and your decision-making.
Wherever you are on your journey, I hope that you find information on this site to help you on the next leg of your quest. Even if that is just the inspiration to take one small step in the right direction, then that is a success. If you can take pleasure in learning and travelling as you go, then so much the better.
I love to serve people, helping them unlock their potential, empowering them as leaders, and assisting them in achieving their goals. Please get in touch and let me know how I can support you!
My previous post dealt with the importance of organisational change, this one goes on to look at how change leadership is needed for effective transformation.
People don’t necessarily find change easy but change is essential. Organisations have to change, it is inevitable, but managing that change effectively is another matter.
To deal with change we need positive forward momentum. Starting to do something can help us both practically and psychologically as we face change (Johnson, 1999). But it is important to note that activity needs a purpose. Dr Spencer Johnson, in his excellent book ‘Who moved my Cheese?’ is not saying that meaningless activity is the answer; but when there is change, we cannot ignore it, we need to get busy.
The importance of change leadership
But where does our purpose come from? This is where leadership is so important in the change process. And here we are not just talking about top-down leadership, we are talking about leadership at every level and by everyone within an organisation.
The structure and culture of many older businesses and institutions is based around a top down, bureaucratic and process driven style of management. This can be very efficient for managing large-scale organisations when change is slow paced but this structure does not have the agility to deal with faster paced change.
This is one reason why organisations need to re-think their approach to leadership and ensure they are developing leaders at every level. When the pace of change is high then decision making needs to be delegated. Individuals need to be able take the initiative and higher level managers need to be comfortable with their teams taking risks. Everyone needs to take ownership for the greater vision and values of the organisation.
How coaching can support effective change
Leaders and managers may have received some formal training but many have not. The idea of providing little or no training, and just a yearly appraisal for feedback, is not a good formula for effectiveness.
The world of sport demonstrates the contrast. Roger Federer has dominated men’s tennis for much of the last decade and is recognised as one of the best tennis players of all time. So why does he still need a coach? Surely he knows more than anyone else alive about winning tennis competitions at the very highest level?
Just as a professional sports person is always looking to improve their game, Professor Hansen, from Berkeley University has done research to show that the same can, and should be applied in the workplace and shared his findings in ‘Great at Work’ (2018). If we really want to improve we need to look at one aspect of our work, analyse our performance and get quick and regular feedback to support improvement.
This is one way in which executive or leadership coaching has a strong parallel with sports coaching. Coaching provides the most effective way of creating a regular opportunity to reflect on work and provides a framework for improving performance.
The Evidence for Coaching
I have always been quite proactive in reading, attending courses and developing myself and for a long time I was dismissive of coaching. Experience has now taught me otherwise. And it is not just me, empirical evidence has also shown that one-to-one coaching is more effective than self-coaching, team coaching or team teaching in increasing performance (Losch,Traut-Mattausch, Mulberger, Jonas, 2016).
As professionals we all reach a limit as to how far we can improve without external feedback from a coach or equivalent (Gawande, 2017). Therefore it is important to coach and develop leadership as broadly as possible. In this way the overall effectiveness of a corporation or institution improves, as does it’s ability to manage complexity and adapt to change.
Coaching is a tool to support change management
As George Bernard Shaw said, “Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.” (1944:330)
If an organisation has to change then people’s thinking has to change. Every team member needs to grasp the opportunities of change, overcome their fears and take ownership for change.
Coaching, particularly in one-to-one contexts, ensures that people feel heard and appreciated, it supports the development of individuals, facilitates good thinking and assists in aligning behaviours to the overall vision and values of an organisation.
Regular coaching helps to develop leadership and keep the impetus for change. Increased leadership helps to maintain momentum in the implementation of strategy across an organisation. This is essential for effective change management as without direction and drive there is no process to manage.
Losch, S; Traut-Mattausch, E; Mulberger, M D; Jonas, E (2016) Comparing the Effectiveness of Individual Coaching, Self-Coaching, and Group Training: How Leadership Makes the Difference.Frontiers in Psychology, 7, pp.629
Shaw, B (1944) Everybody’s Political What’s What, London: Constable
If you want the right answers you have to start with the right questions
About The Right Questions
The Right Questions is for people who want greater clarity, purpose and success. There is a wealth of resources to boost your effectiveness in achieving goals, your leadership of yourself and others, and your decision-making.
Wherever you are on your journey, I hope that you find information on this site to help you on the next leg of your quest. Even if that is just the inspiration to take one small step in the right direction, then that is a success. If you can take pleasure in learning and travelling as you go, then so much the better.
I love to serve people, helping them unlock their potential, empowering them as leaders, and assisting them in achieving their goals. Please get in touch and let me know how I can support you!
I love coaching because I am passionate about equipping people to more effective in whatever it is they want to achieve.
It is a pleasure to work with smart, motivated people who have high aspirations and the drive to achieve their goals. The people I work with generally are looking for improvement, balance and success in all spheres of their life, knowing that getting this right makes them happier people as well as better leaders.
I know coaching is effective because, as well as scientific evidence, as I have seen the positive changes in my life and others as a result of coaching.
For more on the evidence on coaching, have a look at this scholarly article:
Coaching for me is all about facilitating effectiveness. As Sir John Whitmore said, it is ‘unlocking people’s potential to maximise their own performance’.
You can read more about the definition of coaching and how it differs from mentoring here:
The Importance of Values
How we think and act, the decisions we make, are largely dependent upon our assumptions and beliefs. Therefore our values become our compass as we navigate through life. I think it is very important and rewarding to explore values, in order to understand ourselves.
For me, this is expressed in:
Being adventurous. Relishing challenge, always learning, and having the desire to explore and pioneer.
Being values centred. Understanding and living by core beliefs and knowing the values that shape our decisions.
Coaching effectiveness. Developing the full potential of self and others.
Being mission focussed. Keeping the end in mind; being focussed on the next goal and determined in gaining progress.
Providing diplomatic leadership. Serving to lead; by example but with humility.
Having an international strategic outlook. The world is at our front door, so travel light and leverage small tactical gains to win long-term strategic success.
You can read more about the importance of values by following this link:
To understand coaching you have to experience it. That is why I get the vast majority of my clients through referrals of people that I have coached. When someone is referred to me I offer an initial session of at least 90 minutes where they can experience coaching first hand and all parties can decide that the coaching partnership is the right thing.
Coaching is a relationship developed by 4 Cs:
Competence keeps it professional,
Character keeps it effective,
Chemistry makes it fun, and
Confidentiality maintains trust.
Who do I coach?
Due to my other commitments, and my approach to coaching and mentoring, I only do one-to-one coaching for a maximum of 10 individuals at any one time. I also only coach people who are equally dedicated. People’s mind-sets and motivations mean more to me than seniority, sector or any other demarcation.
The people I coach or mentor depend upon the answers to the following questions:
Do you have an adventurous mind-set?
Do you want to be challenged?
Do you want to develop as a leader?
Do you want to unlock your creativity?
Do you want to make better decisions?
Do you want to achieve better balance across all aspects of life?
If the answer is yes to all the questions above please do drop me a line and we can talk further.
Coaching Should Provide a Thinking Environment
I am primarily a coach, rather than a mentor. As a coach, I am not seeking to impose my answers but rather I endeavour to create the best thinking environment for the coachee. I have been greatly influenced by Nancy Kline’s approach to coaching as outlined in her excellent book, Time to Think.
I coach in many and various ways, both in-person and remotely, but my preferred way is coaching one-to-one while walking.
Part of this is because I love getting outside and being active. But it is not just personal preference. We spend a lot of time in offices, on devices and caught up with the busyness of life. Getting out for a walk is an antidote to all of that and therefore can open up new perspectives.
The metaphor that life is a journey is a popular one because it is true in so many senses. Coaching is about going on a journey together and walking helps to embody this sense of purpose, direction and forward momentum. This physiological approach has a positive effect on our psychology.
If you like this approach you are in good company. Many highly respected and successful people have discovered the power of going for a walk to think, be creative and productive. Famous examples include businessman Steve Jobs, Nobel Prize-winning scientist Daniel Kahnemann, and poet William Wordsworth.
You can read more about the benefits of walking here:
Coaching is a journey for the coach as well as the coachee. I continually seek to develop myself and therefore I have my own coach.
I have leadership responsibilities outside of being a coach. As well as running my own business I lead in various other contexts to make sure that I am keeping relevant and putting what I say into practice. As per Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, this is part of my work to ‘sharpen the saw’.
How Long and How Many Coaching Sessions Should you do?
There is no one size fits all approach to coaching. I do not have a fixed number of length of sessions; instead, I tailor a programme that suits the coachee and what they want to achieve.
I prefer to book sessions for longer periods of time, most frequently 60-90 minutes, in order to give space for some really good thinking, but this is a guideline, not a rule. Sometimes it will take a day to explore an issue in-depth, at other times a quick 5 to 10-minute phone call is all someone needs.
Because of this bespoke approach and the desire to commit the appropriate time to them I keep my number of clients small. This means I have to be selective in whom I coach.
If you would like to find out more about coaching and have an initial free coaching consultation then please email us using the contact page. Just click on this link:Contact Form
If you want the right answers you have to start with the right questions
About The Right Questions
The Right Questions is for people who want greater clarity, purpose and success. There is a wealth of resources to boost your effectiveness in achieving goals, your leadership of yourself and others, and your decision-making.
Wherever you are on your journey, I hope that you find information on this site to help you on the next leg of your quest. Even if that is just the inspiration to take one small step in the right direction, then that is a success. If you can take pleasure in learning and travelling as you go, then so much the better.
I love to serve people, helping them unlock their potential, empowering them as leaders, and assisting them in achieving their goals. Please get in touch and let me know how I can support you!
Being an Executive, by definition, is someone who makes decisions and puts them into action. Board members generally have a lot of experience they can lean on when making decisions but being at the top, particularly being the CEO, means that you will face choices and situations that are outside of previous experience.
Even with some prior knowledge the stakes are higher. Take conflict management for example. A break down in relationships may have a small operational effect at a lower level whereas at board level it can literally bring a whole organization down. This is where the opportunity to talk through decisions can be vital.
Vision and strategy require time to think
The higher you climb up the leadership ladder the more demands there are on your time. Above other demands the most important thing as a leader is to set the direction for the team.
It takes discipline to carve out time to think in a busy schedule and yet most people would agree that you need quality head-space in order to refine the vision and strategy for an organization.
Coaching should provide a thinking environment (Kline, 1999). A good coaching experience should be a place where a person feels completely at ease. It provides more than just a sounding board, it is a creative exercise. Coaching is a place where assumptions can be challenged and overcome. Visionary leaders such as Steve Jobs, Eric Schmidt and Bill Gates new this and used coaches (Eckfeldt, 2017).
We can always be better
You may well have heard the phrase ‘Every day is a school day.’ In other words we always have something new to learn. Even the wisest and intelligent people realized their limits. Socrates said “The one thing I know is that I know nothing.” Einstein encouraged us to never to stop questioning. Benjamin Franklin noted that success has no meaning without continual growth.
Why does Roger Federer still have a coach? Surely he knows more than anyone else about winning tennis tournaments? The fact is that all top sports men and women know that they can always improve their game and the better they are, the more targeted they need to become.
At this level multiple small improvements can have dramatic effects. As proved by the multiple Olympic Gold winning British Cycling Team, it is the aggregation of small gains that makes the difference over time in both individual and team performance (Harrell, 2015).
The leadership expert John C Maxwell defines leadership as influence. Therefore it is no surprise that executives want to hone key attributes such as decision making, relationship management and communication. In the same way a top sports person refines one part of their game with a specific coach, so a senior leader can improve one key skill if they can get the feedback they need (Hansen, 2018).
The higher you go, the harder it is to find a mentor
There are differences between coaching and mentoring. There is a lot of overlap but generally a mentor is someone more senior or experienced in your sphere of work. A mentor is generally someone who can guide you and open up new opportunities in your line of business. It therefore goes without saying that the higher up you go the harder it is to have a mentor of this type.
When you are forging your own path it is important to develop relationships with other people facing similar challenges. But in the business world it can be hard to be truly open and honest about all our concerns. The confidential nature of a coaching relationship can provide the safe environment to explore any issue. It can be very hard to show vulnerability, even to good friends, within a working environment. In a good coaching relationship any challenge can be discussed without judgment or unsolicited advice.
It can be lonely at the top
Even at the top of the pyramid you need a good team. Within an organization the number of people who you can reach out to support you are fewer and therefore senior leaders have to have a network that expands beyond their immediate situation.
At the top level, especially as a CEO, there may be no line manager to lean on. It may be harder to have a mentor. Family and friends therefore become ever more important but at the same time it is often unfair to overly burden them with work concerns.
There are many important issues that are hard to discuss with work contacts, family or friends. Take for example talent management. When you are considering the sensitive subject of hiring and firing people it requires a level of confidentiality and objectivity. Many CEOs find that a coaching environment can provide the appropriate context.
Maintaining life work balance
Being a CEO is rarely (if ever) a 9-5 job. Even if you can contain your office hours then the concerns and demands of leadership will go far beyond the average working week. The lines between work and other aspects of life can become blurred. Balancing priorities of leading an organization alongside other roles we have – be that spouse, parent, friend, or whatever – can suffer in the competition.
The phrase ‘work-life balance’ makes the decision sound binary but for those with significant management responsibility this is rarely the case. It is more akin to spinning multiple plates than just choosing between two things; work and everything else.
Coaching, for people at boardroom level, can help take this into account. Life has to be looked at holistically and coaching can help explore how our values and priorities and played out in every area of life. It is also a major concern of most employees which is another good reason the coaching relationship can benefit more than just the person being coached (Colbrese, 2018).
If you would like to find out more about coaching and have an initial free coaching consultation then please email us using the contact page. Just click on this link:Contact Form
Maxwell, John C (2007) The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership, Nashville: Thomas Nelson
Plato, Tarrant, H; Rowe, C (2010) The Last Days of Socrates, London: Penguin Classics
If you want the right answers you have to start with the right questions
About The Right Questions
The Right Questions is for people who want greater clarity, purpose and success. There is a wealth of resources to boost your effectiveness in achieving goals, your leadership of yourself and others, and your decision-making.
Wherever you are on your journey, I hope that you find information on this site to help you on the next leg of your quest. Even if that is just the inspiration to take one small step in the right direction, then that is a success. If you can take pleasure in learning and travelling as you go, then so much the better.
I love to serve people, helping them unlock their potential, empowering them as leaders, and assisting them in achieving their goals. Please get in touch and let me know how I can support you!
