If you, like me, grew up in a culture without a specific rite of passage that marks when you change from being a boy to a man, it can be quite hard to state exactly when you became a man and, by extension, what it means to be a man.

For me, no songs were sung, or words said. I was not cut or marked. I was not cast out or assigned a specific task or role. But at some point, I just was. A man.

So, what happened and when? Was it when I went through puberty or grew to be as strong as my dad? Perhaps when I got my first job, or perhaps when I left home? Was it when I could legally marry, drive, or drink? Maybe it was all these things or none?

Being a man: is it a right or a responsibility?

Human rights – men’s and women’s rights – are very important. The UN charter was a huge stride forward in addressing injustices in society. But it seems that generally, people must state and stand up for their rights when other people are not living up to their responsibilities; the responsibility that we all must respect, love and look after others, especially those less fortunate than us.

And that is why I like to focus on personal responsibility when thinking about identity. If we take responsibility, within our sphere of influence, we can ensure the people around us are treated right. And it is hard to separate the concept of responsibility from what it is to be a man. Being a man involves taking responsibility.

Responsibility means using our influence in the right way. And influence is leadership, so being a man also relates to being a leader. For clarity, I would apply the same logic to women as well. As boys become men and girls become women there is a change of expectation when it comes to responsibility. The responsibility of parenthood and the leadership required of both the father and mother is a great example of this step change in becoming an adult.

We all have influence – to a greater or lesser degree – and therefore we all have leadership potential and responsibility as men and women leaders to use that influence for good. But that differentiates childhood from adulthood more that specifically becoming a man. So, we ask again: what makes a real man?

What makes a real man?

It is common to hear someone referred to as a ‘real man’. Which does beg the question, what does it mean to be a real man? It is also interesting that one is less likely to hear the phrase ‘real woman’! Perhaps gents – yes, I am speaking to all of you guys – this indicates an area where men have some real insecurities. There is some deep urge to be a real man.

So, what is a real man?

The idea of a real man is very dependent upon a given culture. The idealised man is visualised variously in different places and at different times. Even as I sit here typing I know that my idea of a man is very much dependent upon unconscious biases that I have developed from living in my setting.

But even this picture can vary considerably within a given country. Just imagine a picture of a real man in your country, but either in an urban or rural setting, and you will see what I mean. The ideas are often quite different.

It is important to remember that a lot of the things often associated with the idea of a real man are often cosmetic. For example, in some cultures, a real man wears a beard, in others, not. In some cultures, a real man is obese, in others, they are supposed to be buff. In other words, when people frequently talk about being a real man, they refer to present fashion or trends within a given culture.

But these superficial ideas often indicate a deeper principle. As with the iceberg model of culture, the behaviours we observe are rooted in beliefs and values that are hidden below the surface.

Being a net provider or contributor

There are some cultural similarities, beyond fashion, that point towards a common theme of manhood, and that is the idea of being a net provider. In other words, a person who contributes more to their family group than they take from it.

Even unhelpful stereotypes of the real man, pictured as a gnarly hunter or successful businessman, point towards this deeper personal value. For example, I know for me that being financially independent of my parents was an important aspect of feeling like a man. Today, being able to provide for my family and contribute to my community is a key to my masculine identity, for good or ill.

I say for good or ill as many men suffer crises when out of work or when they retire. They are not just made redundant, they feel redundant. There have been various studies that show that men, in particular, suffer more from mental health problems at retirement. This is generally linked to more traditional gender roles and men seeing themselves as the primary breadwinner for a family, whereas women place much more worth on their maternal roles. Put simply, guys are much more likely to have an action-orientated identity; they want to be doing something. Women generally place more worth in their relational links and therefore their identity is more shaped in that context.

This may change over time as traditional roles change but, at least for now, it is worth remembering. And we males should challenge ourselves with some questions. What is it that we like to do that brings real worth? How do the things we do contribute to our community? Are we making sure we connect with people, and really foster relationships, as well as just achieving tasks? What do we really value and what do we do that brings real value?

What are male values?

There are not any exclusively male values, but there are certainly some that are historically associated with men. When working out our personal values, understanding these expectations is important. Misunderstanding these cultural principles can lead to negative expressions or behaviours.

For example, the concept of being a man is often related to strength. This primarily stems from the physiological differences between men and women and that men are generally biologically wired to have greater physical strength than women. This is largely due to body size, as comparative studies have shown. There are hormonal differences too and the increased amounts of testosterone in men, compared to women, is a key factor, particularly through puberty.

Masculine values and behaviour

The idea of physical strength can be related to positive characteristics such as being a provider and protector. In modern Western society, the need for physical strength to achieve these positive outcomes (i.e., supporting and defending our people group) has reduced, but the association remains. And with it also come negative behaviours. The idea of strength is frequently misused through posturing, aggression, and violence. These behaviours most frequently manifest in society through men. For example, the UN 2019 study on homicide shows that men are both the major perpetrator, and victims, of murder.

In terms of linking positive behaviours and values, the poem If, by Rudyard Kipling is an evocative picture of how a man could embody the strength of character, and male-associated principles such as confidence, determination and honesty.

If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,

Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,

And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise.

If – Rudyard Kipling

What does it mean to be a man today?

Due to the challenge of working out what it is to be a man, particularly in today’s culture, there are movements to help people think about what it is to be a man. Probably the most well-known of these is International Men’s Day (IMD), which falls on the 19^th of November each year.

The idea of international men’s day is to “celebrate worldwide the positive value men bring to the world, their families and communities.” It does this through six core statements of purpose, the pillars of IMD.

The 6 Pillars of International Men’s Day (IMD)

The IMD objectives or 6 Pillars of International Men’s Day are:

1. To promote positive male role models; not just movie stars and sportsmen but everyday, working-class men who are living decent, honest lives.
2. To celebrate men’s positive contributions to society, community, family, marriage, childcare, and the environment.
3. To focus on men’s health and well-being; social, emotional, physical, and spiritual.
4. To highlight discrimination against men; in areas of social services, social attitudes and expectations, and law.
5. To improve gender relations and promote gender equality.
6. To create a safer, better world; where people can be safe and grow to reach their full potential.

In these statements what we don’t get is a definition of what a man needs to be. Instead, the provisions create an environment where men can work this out for themselves, in a positive way, with the support of others.

Helping men and boys

The theme for International Men’s Day in November 2022 is ‘helping men and boys’. So, for you guys out there, what can you do to help other men and boys? How can you contribute to your family, community, or team? And to you gals, how can you support the men you know in doing this? We, men, may pretend otherwise, but we need support and encouragement!

One thing I have done is to create some free online resources and courses, to help everyone (but especially guys) to develop their life and leadership skills. You can find out more details by following the link below.

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So, what does it mean to be a man?

There are no easy answers. But we have seen that men like to take action, so as you think about what you might do for IMD, let me leave the last words to Kipling, as something to ponder, as you work out what it is to be a man and help boys as they learn to do the same.

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,

And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

If – Rudyard Kipling

What are the right questions? Which questions do you need to ask if you want to lead yourself and others better? Why are the right questions important?

“A prudent question is one half of wisdom.” – Francis Bacon

Good questions are essential if we want to get the right information.

If we don’t ask the right questions we won’t get the answers we need. Without the necessary information, we won’t be able to make good decisions. If we don’t make good decisions we lose our direction, don’t achieve our goals, fail in our leadership, and can end up ineffective, unhappy, or worse.

I found out how important questions are early on in my career because my first role was being a Bomb Disposal Officer.

Nasty surprises

I was just savouring a coffee from my newly purchased coffee maker when a wide-eyed and out of breath soldier stumbled into my makeshift office. My cup was poised in my hand – the aroma was fantastic – and the thought of drinking it was more alluring than anything I could imagine that this solider might interrupt me with. “This had better be good”, I thought.

“Sir! There is a suspicious package at the gates of the camp!”

I put the cup down; coffee time was over.

It was Bosnia in 2001, and I was a young Lieutenant in the Royal Engineers leading the Explosive Ordnance Disposal (bomb disposal) team in the local region. The conflict in Bosnia had died down some time ago so we were there mainly to clear up the mess that a war leaves behind, namely the mines, mortar bombs and other explosives that littered the countryside. But in the post 9/11 world, the threat of terrorist attack was at the forefront of people’s minds. In this context, an unexplained bag, right up against the front gates of a military camp, was screaming out ‘IED!’ (Improvised Explosive Device), and required immediate and serious attention.

Red wire or blue wire?

Therefore, I went to take control of the scene and do an initial threat assessment. I met the guard commander and asked him some questions such as:

Where exactly was the package?

What did it look like?

Who had seen it first?

When had it been found?

Why was it suspicious?

How had it got there?

Very quickly a picture emerged that put my mind at ease.

One of the guards had seen an old and infirm lady dropping off the parcel. Upon questioning the local interpreters, I found out that this lady was well known to them (as she was a little eccentric) and that she had made similar deliveries before. It was more than likely that this was just a gift for the soldiers.

A short trip to visit the lady at her house confirmed that yes, she had just dropped off some biscuits for the troops. It just so happened that she thought that dropping off a ‘surprise’ in an unmarked bag, unannounced, at the front gate to a military base was a good thing to do!

After establishing all of this I was able to go back, safely deal with the package (no, I didn’t eat or blow up the biscuits), give the all-clear, and return the security levels to normal. I thanked the lady for the kind thought and gift but asked her to refrain from such ‘surprise’ generosity in the future.

So, the right question was not ‘do we cut the red or the blue wire?’ In fact, the right questions were not technical ones at all.

The importance of questions

When you consider your life is under threat then it is very important to properly assess a situation. You have to overcome the ‘fight or flight’ response and use the decision space – the gap between stimulus and response – to work out what to do. In the time given you have to make an assessment. Asking the right questions and getting the right answers is essential before launching into action.

The military, the emergency services and medical services know this and train personnel in decision making. By employing decision making processes and then applying in exercises and real-life situations, to build up experience, such people can become expert decision-makers and can make quick, effective decisions even in high risk environments.

Outside of careers that deal with life-threatening situations very few people get training in asking questions and making decisions, despite that research time and again sights such competencies to be essential to employees and particularly leaders and managers (Harrell, Barbato). The need for decision-making is often expressed in other terms such as:

• The need for analysing and overcoming problems (Zenger, Folkman),
• Taking the initiative (Maxwell),
• Setting direction and goals (Giles),
• Good prioritisation (Covey),
• Having a clear vision and strategy for the team (Rumelt)

But all these things are related to or dependent upon good decision-making. And, what’s more, these things all come together in the realm of coaching and personal development. For senior executives and C-suite leaders, this is particularly true, as coaching at this level provides structured time to think and make the most important decisions for their work and life as a whole.

Do we need decision making tools?

We generally take decision making for granted, after all we each make thousands of decisions every day, some conscious, some unconscious, and rarely need to apply more than our intuition to a problem. But there is a problem. Research, particularly by influential figures such as Daniel Kahneman, has demonstrated that our intuition is amazing but has limits.

Therefore understanding decision making and how to make good decisions is critical to all of us, and good decision making starts with good questions.

The problem with many processes and tools, including those used for decision making, is that they are often non-intuitive and hard to remember. That is why we should start with what we already know and structures that are already embedded.

“A problem well put is half solved.”

John Dewey

Start with the questions you already know

When I was training as a Bomb Disposal Officer we were taught a question technique called the ‘Five Ws’ which we used when we approached an incident. The ‘Five Ws’ is an interrogative style employed primarily by journalists and police officers but it is a framework that can be used by anyone to make an appreciation of a given situation.

The idea is that by asking open questions you are more likely to get factual answers by avoiding presuppositions. The simple idea of just having the ‘Five Ws’ of What? Where? When? Who? Why? (along with the added H of ‘How?’) provides an easy to remember checklist that is a useful starting point towards building a rounded picture of any circumstance.

Using Interrogatives

As I have done further research into question technique and applied the principles in my work I have found that it is also useful to add another ‘W’ – that of ‘which?’ – to the list. The ‘which?’ question covers the concept of selection (and therefore of options and risk) and helps to complete the cycle, particularly when we are planning for the future, not just examining an event that has already happened.

This makes seven questions in a total and creates a easily remembered framework. Its easy to recall as its based upon the most common interrogative words that we use in English and also because we find it harder to recall lists about seven or eight items (Buzan).

The application of the interrogatives provides a holistic approach to analysing a situation and making an informed decision. The use of these seven open questions is a technique I have dubbed The Right Questions.

Using The Right Questions

Seven questions? Surely that is too simple you say! Well, we will come back to that point but the simplicity is a large part of the system’s strength. But, as with any tool or model, the technique is only as good as its application and it is this application of the questions that we need to explore in more depth.

When you learn how to apply the system it is very flexible. My starting point when faced with a challenge – whether it is developing a business case, starting a project, or writing an article – will be to write down the seven Right Questions and start to brainstorm and explore my thoughts under each heading.

My experience of working as a coach and consultant has taught me that The Right Questions approach can be applied to everything from life direction and personal vision, to corporate strategy and organisational change.

I am passionate about serving individual and teams, helping them to face their challenges, achieve wonderful things and have fun while doing it. If I can serve you in this way then I will be fulfilling my goal.

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The right questions for life’s journey

In the journey of life we get to travel together with others at different points. Our paths merge, cross and diverge and we never quite know how long we will have to travel alongside people. However long we have, I hope that in our time travelling together I can assist you in refining your direction and encouraging you on to all the amazing things life has in store for you.

Bon voyage et Bon courage!

“The discerning heart seeks knowledge.”

Solomon

To find out more about applying and using The Right Questions framework click on the link below:

What are The Right Questions?

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References:

Buzan, T (2010) Use Your Head, London: BBC

Giles, S (2016) The Most Important Leadership Competencies, According to Leaders Around the World, Harvard Business Review

Harrell, M and Barato, L (2018) Great Managers Still Matter: The Evolution of Google’s Project Oxygen, Google/Re:work

Kahneman, D (2011) Thinking Fast and Slow, New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux

Maxwell, J C (2007) The 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader, Nashville: Thomas Nelson

Zenger, J and Folkman, J (2014) The Skills Leaders Need at Every Level, Harvard Business Review

I love devouring books in the holiday season and I always carefully consider the books I purchase or ask for as gifts. Here are my top recommendations for leadership and management books. There are some old titles and some new ones, but they are all indispensable reads and should inform and inspire you.

1. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People – Stephen R. Covey

This was one of the first leadership and management books I ever read and since that first encounter, I have not stopped going back to it. Full of practical wisdom, the book takes you on a journey; setting a foundation that helps you win at a personal level before providing you with the tools you need to flourish as a leader. If you have not read this book yet then redeem yourself this Christmas and get a copy!
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People – UK
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People – US

2. Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap and Others Don’t – Jim Collins

Jim Collins has become one of the most influential voices in organisational development over the past decade. This prequel to his other famous book, Built to Last, applies a scientific approach to identifying what makes a company successful, including what is needed of the people who lead such organisations. The book is challenging and inspiring in equal measure.
Good To Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap… and Others Don’t – UK
Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap… and Others Don’t – US

3. The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership: Follow Them and People Will Follow You – John C. Maxwell

John C. Maxwell is a prolific writer and there are several excellent books that I could list here but this is perhaps his classic work. His straightforward can-do approach to leadership is very appealing and his simple definition of leadership as ‘influence’ demonstrates that we are all leaders at some level and therefore should seek to develop our character and hone our skills to become the best leaders we can be.
21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership – UK
The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership: Follow Them and People Will Follow You – US

4. Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion – Robert B. Cialdini

Compelling and persuasive in its own right, Robert Cialdini’s famous work is a touchstone for people in marketing but considering Maxwell’s definition of leadership (that leadership is influence) this book is essential reading for every leader and manager. I guarantee that it will change the way you communicate and you will never see a sales pitch in the same way again!
Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion – UK
Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion (Collins Business Essentials) – US

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5. The Decision Book: Fifty Models for Strategic Thinking – Mikael Krogerus and Roman Tschäppeler

This fantastic resource was a new purchase for me in 2012. The book may fit in your pocket but don’t let that fool you, it is a veritable treasure trove. It is made all the more attractive because the material is presented in simple, easy to access chunks so you can work your way through or just dip in whenever you need. Whether you decide to stash the book in your top drawer at work or keep it on your bedside table, make sure it is close to hand for when you want inspiration.
The Decision Book: Fifty Models for Strategic Thinking – UK
The Decision Book: 50 Models for Strategic Thinking – US

6. Making It All Work: Winning at the Game of Work and the Business of Life – David Allen

David Allen, the bestselling author of Getting Things Done, and an expert in achieving work-life balance, wrote this book. I have just been given a copy and it comes with high recommendations so I will be reading it over Christmas. I look forward to reviewing it fully when I am finished and discussing it in the New Year!
Making It All Work: Winning at the game of work and the business of life – UK
Making It All Work: Winning at the Game of Work and Business of Life – US

Are you wanting a book to inspire your work this year? Searching for a lovely executive gift? Wondering what pogonophobia is? Then check out the Book of Job by Dale Stafford.

It felt like Christmas all over again – or maybe better – because the package I received, containing a limited edition of The Book of Job, was so lovely I almost did not want to unwrap it. My name and address were handwritten in attractive sweeping strokes, the package was encapsulated in crisp brown paper, and all this was sealed with red wax and tied up with red and white string. I felt special just getting it. And there was more! Inside there was a letter, once again sealed with wax, and the book enclosed in patterned paper. So now I am feeling like it is Christmas and my birthday too. Once inside the wrapping the book’s lavish gold edging glistered at me; beckoning me to open it.

The attention to detail, already evident in the packaging, continues throughout The Book of Job. One example of this is in the language as The Book of Job is written in an Old English style (or perhaps ‘Ye Olde Style’) with lots of ‘thee’ and ‘thou’, ‘hast’ and ‘canst’. I thought this might make the book less accessible (as I am more likely to speed-read business books) but the more I read, the more I was disarmed by the approach.

Content and style

I was also won over by the subject matter of the first page. The title runs “In the beginning was the word and the word was ‘Where?’ This immediately struck a chord with me, as in The Right Questions this is the first question that I pose too.

The book goes on to draw a parallel between the biblical character of Job and what we experience in our own job. The Bible story of Job is terrifying and inspiring in equal measure but Dale uses it cleverly to frame her book. There is an underlying theme throughout the book about turning challenges into opportunities as summed up in the quote on page 135:

“When a problem doth land on thy doorstep, it is opportunity that doth knock at thy door.”

This principle, underpinning the narrative, gives a very uplifting tone to the book. It is not a preachy how-to book about success, but rather a book of wisdom inspired by successful people. Therefore I feel that – although the book is penned in a fun way – the serious message of reframing the way we think about ourselves, others, life, work and success, is all the more powerful.

For me this meant that as I read through the book I found that Dale was speaking to the converted; I agreed with the points she emphasised and increasingly enjoyed the way she illustrated them.

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Recommendation

The Book of Job is full of quotes, anecdotes, humour and insights that make it a pleasure to delve into; whether you chose to read it cover to cover or just dip in from time to time.

This is an excellent gift, especially for your friends in business, but you may not be able to resist treating yourself to a copy! Witty and engaging as well as beautifully constructed and designed, it is a pleasure to receive and to read. Well done to Dale Stafford on creating something so unique.

Oh, and by the way, pogonophobia is the fear of beards. One of the many things I learnt from reading the book!

Dale Stafford is the author of The Book of Job and founder of The Principle Department. You can find out more about her and her work at www.theprincipledepartment.com

Buy the Book of Job from Amazon.co.uk

Buy The Book of Job from Amazon.com

Logic and emotion are both of great importance to being effective. Sharing inspiring stories that demonstrate our values and highlight success help us to engage with both the logical and emotional sides of what we need to do.

The Psychological Requirement to Connect Logic and Emotions

“Humans are creatures with a two-sided brain: On the left side, there’s nothing right and on the right side, there’s nothing left.” Anon

Scientists have long explored the dual functions of the brain and many people have heard of the idea that the left hemisphere of the brain is for logical functions whereas the right side is more for creative thinking.

Although this lateralisation is an over simplification it does contribute to our understanding of thought processes and personality types. We all have some sort of preference to being either more rational or intuitive in our approach to challenges and psychologists have used this and other measures to help explain personality types.

For example in the Big 5’ personality traits model a preference for being more creative, intuitive and creative in approach would lead someone to have a high ‘openness’ score. Equally, within the same system, someone with a more logical, ordered and detailed approach to life is likely to have a higher ‘conscientiousness’ ranking.

Once again these measures are generalisations but they demonstrate that we all have certain preferences and that any preference to one side or another has certain strengths and weaknesses and therefore we need a balance of the logical and emotional in our approach.

How to Get the Balance and Make the Connection

One way we can achieve that balance is through developing a good team and having people who can fulfil different roles and play to their strengths. But even with a well balanced team there are certain functions in an organisation – such as customer service and brand awareness – that everyone has an influence on and therefore, whatever their preference, they need a way to be connected to both the logical and emotional drivers in the business.

It has been demonstrated that one of the most powerful ways of connecting between the logical and emotional is the use of stories. For most people it is shared experiences, the conversations we have, and the life illustrations we hear, that are the lessons we tend to remember.  These things become the threads that tie together the logical and emotional aspects of what we do.

This knowledge is very important to organisations, as any team needs to engage their people at the logical level, through things such as goals and measurements, to more emotional issues such as values and purpose. Really successful institutions have ways of capturing and sharing stories that naturally spread through the group; encouraging people and embedding the right strategies and attitudes in people whatever level, role or function they operate in.

The Successful Military Model

Having had a military background I can share a way that the Armed Forces has created a process that enables the sharing of stories that demonstrated the values of the organisation and inspire people to achieve their tasks with the right attitudes.

Even though the values of the British Army are regularly taught to soldiers, if you asked the average private what those values were they would probably struggle to give you more than two of the six core values. The core values of the British Army are:

• Courage
• Discipline
• Respect for others
• Integrity
• Loyalty
• Selfless commitment

These values are the most important aspect of the emotional connection within the Army. The critical issue on the logical side is the concept of mission. The military operates within an approach called mission command and the importance of achieving the mission is drummed into every service man and woman.

Because a mission in the Army frequently requires hardship or threat to life it is vital that the values are effectively understood and adhered to. Otherwise the deeper purpose and motivation would be lost. How then is this done when the average soldier cannot recall what the values are? The answer is that they all know stories that link the achievement of a mission with the values that underpin that success.

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Stories that Inspire: Medal Citations

Many stories are passed on informally in the bars and barrack rooms of the military but there is also a formal process for capturing and celebrating the best of these stories. This is done through citations and the awarding of medals.

In the British Commonwealth the most famous medal of all is the Victoria Cross; the highest commendation that can be awarded for valour in the face of the enemy. Introduced by Queen Victoria in 1856 the Victoria Cross (VC) has only been awarded 1356 times, and only 13 times since the Second World War.

The stories that surround VC winners are legendary; VC winners are the heroes of the Armed Forces and the stories permeate the culture of the organisation. Their history is taught during training, pictures of their heroic deeds hang on the walls of offices and messes; teams and places are even named after them.

Lieutenant John Chard – A Hero of Rorke’s Drift

For me, being a Royal Engineer Officer, one story I have been steeped in is that of Lieutenant John Chard, the Royal Engineer Officer who led the defence of Rorke’s Drift during the Zulu War in 1878.

Chard was sent to Rorke’s Drift (a small garrison at a mission station) to build a bridge but the location became the site of a decisive battle.

A Zulu impi (an Army of 3000-4000 men) descended upon Rorke’s Drift fresh from subjecting the British to a terrible defeat at Isandlwana where they had annihilated 1350 British and Native troops.

There were only 139 soldiers (including 30 sick and wounded) and a handful of local and colonial troops (making about 150 in total) at Rorke’s Drift but John Chard led the successful defence of the station. The desperate fighting, often fought hand to hand, went on through an afternoon and an entire night but the defence held. The battle cost 17 of the defenders lives. The Zulus suffered several hundred mortalities and withdrew from the attack the following morning.

The incredible valour by the defenders led to the awarding on 11 VCs and 4 DCMs (Distinguished Conduct Medals). The story is particularly well known as it was made famous by the film ‘Zulu’ where John Chard was played by Stanley Baker and Lieutenant Gonville Bromhead – his fellow officer and VC recipient – was played by Michael Caine.

John Chard’s actions demonstrated his deep commitment to his mission and an exemplary illustration of the values of the Army. The leadership that Chard demonstrated at Rorke’s Drift has inspired generations of young officers, such as myself, and this is just one of many incredible stories that could be told of brave service men and women.

Inspiring Stories for Making the Connection

A recipient of the Victoria Cross is an extreme example of a story, and certainly not an everyday occurrence, but shows the power of stories to inspire people. Stories have the power to connect people to the logical and emotional requirements that an organisation expects of them and it is important that any team or business looks at ways of capturing and spreading stories that equip, inspire and release employees to take new levels of ownership in their work.

Trying to come up with a short pithy mission statement that encompasses everything you are about in life is not an easy task!  Do not worry – the concept of mission statements is bigger than just one individual phrase, as I will try to explain.  Mission statements exist in the context of lots of interlocking levels, generally not just as some isolated goal that stands totally alone.

Different mission statements within a single company

Imagine a company, a company that makes toilet rolls.  The vision of the company is that every posterior in the world should be blessed by the ultra-soft ‘Cushionette’ produced by the business.  They have defined their mission, their measure of success as: ‘to have a roll of Cushionette available in every lavatory in the world’.  It is a bold and audacious mission.

Different departments, different mission statements?

There are many departments within the company to allow it to function properly.  There are Sales; the guys in sales have a mission statement that is almost exactly the same as the company mission because they are trying to sell the product into as many spaces ‘in the world’ as possible.  For the Quality Control team, the mission statement is easy too, they need to make sure each roll of Cushionette is ‘ultra soft’.

How about the Finance team?  Defining the mission for the Finance team is somewhat harder.  It is harder still at an individual level: how do you create a mission statement that applies to the person who does the photocopying for the Finance team?  Yet, if they are going to be effective they need a mission that connects them to the greater vision and shows them how they can make a tangible difference in achieving the bigger goal.

So the Reprographic Officer (photocopier person) will have their personal mission statement.  Let’s say in this case their mission statement is “to always produce copies that are timely, accurate and cost-efficient” but that mission is a sub-set of the Finance team mission, which is, in turn, a subset of the company mission.

Linking and nesting mission statements

This is important as the more productive each individual and team is the more productive the overall effect is.  Also, one failure of the smallest element can bring down the whole thing.  If the ‘Vice President of Printed Communications’ (another photocopier person) fails to copy the company accounts on time, the company is put at risk. All right, so this is stretching the point somewhat but on a serious note, any communications process can have a major effect on the effectiveness of a team or company.

So from the example above we can see that within an organisation there will be various missions that all need to interlock vertically across the company.  It’s like those Russian dolls that fit inside one another.  Not clear yet?  Let’s investigate this from another angle; here is some background to the theory.

Mission Command

The military has probably spent more time and effort on developing the idea of a mission than anyone else, and in the British military this overlapping hierarchy of mission statements is referred to as ‘mission command’.  This decentralised approach is to some extent based on the lessons learned from the effectiveness of German Stormtroopers and the ‘manoeuvrist’ approach of Blitzkrieg warfare, but again don’t worry if this means nothing to you, you do not need to be an expert in military history to understand the basic principles.

The idea behind mission command is to allow maximum freedom of movement, coordination and support at every level of the organisation by having interconnected mission statements.  It requires a highly trained and motivated force but when it works it is referred to as a force multiplier, in other words, it is highly effective and greater than the sum of its parts.  In business, this is sometimes referred to as ‘synergy’.

So maximum effectiveness is the aim; your main responsibility is to make sure you and/or your workforce are highly trained and motivated, and then to make sure the mission is clear and connected both up and down the organisation.

How to craft a mission statement

In the military, the mission statement actually comes in two parts.  There is both a ‘to’ and an ‘in order to’ phrase in the statement.  For example, I said earlier a mission might be ‘to capture the position on hill 321’ but it will also have a second half that says something like ‘in order to allow the battalion to advance’.  In other words, one mission is connected to another mission in a hierarchy.  In this case, the battalion cannot achieve its mission of advancing unless the enemy position on the hill is captured.  The battalion in turn will have a mission that connects to its higher command and so on up the chain. These go up from the tactical to operational, strategic and grand-strategic levels. That one mission to engage with the enemy on hill 321 will be part of a much larger picture such as a war between two sovereign states. Who knows, the whole campaign could pivot on that one action: that is why the mission is so important.

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Mission statements work up and down and side to side

So just like the toilet roll company, all the missions interlock up and down the organisation. So that is the hierarchy – the up and down bit, but there is more.  There is a horizontal plane of mission as well as a vertical one. Every department in a company or every person in a team will have a slightly different mission but they need to complement each other. Crafting mission statements is likely correctly harnessing horses. You are trying to get people to pull together in the same direction.

As an individual you are likely to have a mission in your workplace that interconnects vertically and horizontally within that organisation but your career mission statement may have very little to do with other parts of your life.  Most of us have a range of responsibilities and wear a variety of different hats. Therefore we can expect to have different missions that are relevant to the various roles we play.  For example what is your contribution or role within your community?  What is your mission in terms of your family and relationships?

These personal mission statements have a hierarchy too as all the goals we set are effectively part of the mission and they only exist (or should only exist) to support the greater mission.  Confused? Don’t worry! Take a look at how to make an action plan.

We know that building a team is not all about ‘trust falls’, away days and retreats. Therefore, how can managers build lasting bonds and the kind of trust that makes teamwork a breeze?

I started off my career as a Bomb Disposal Officer in the Army, working in situations where working well together as a team was potentially a life or death situation. Since then, as a consultant and leadership coach, I have worked within and alongside organisations in the commercial, governmental and voluntary sectors, equipping teams with the skills they need to be more effective in working together. The bulk of my work revolves around facilitating strategy, giving people the tools they need to make good decisions, and through this building teams that are resilient to change and uncertainty.

There is not always the luxury of having time out and fun activities to build a team. Fortunately, these things are not actually necessary. You can build a successful team in the harshest of environments if you understand certain fundamentals. Here are the things that I have found are most effective in turning a bunch of individuals into a high performing team.

“Great things in business are never done by one person. They’re done by a team of people.”

Steve Jobs

Be a leader who understands how teams develop

A well-functioning team is dependent upon good leadership. If a team is failing in some way, then the manager has to make the assumption that they have to shoulder the bulk of the blame and take responsibility for finding a solution.

One thing that can really help a leader build and manage a team is understanding the natural evolution that a group goes through on the way to becoming an effective team. One great model of this that I have found particularly helpful (and memorable) is the Tuckman Cycle. Bruce Tuckman did research that demonstrated that every team goes through stages of:

• Forming
• Storming
• Norming
• Performing and
• Ajourning

A manager can do things to speed the process through these steps to the performing stage. It is especially important to get through the painful ‘storming’ phase but you cannot completely short circuit the system to get straight to performance. There has to be some pain to get to the gain.

Another model, the Drexler-Sibbet model of Team Performance, is a helpful complement to the Tuckman model. The Drexler-Sibbet model poses a set of questions that a team needs to work through in order to progress through each level of performance. As a leader, this is invaluable in working out how to support the team best.

You can see how the two models combine in the picture below.

All teams experience a level of change and you can progress or regress through these models. Therefore a leader needs to assess which stage their team is at and how to answer the key questions. A good leader thinks of strategies to facilitate progress towards peak performance. These can be planned from the beginning.

Gather people to a common vision and set of values

One thing that can help people quickly form as a team and work through initial ‘storming’ challenges is to have a vision for people to gather to and for them to share a common set of values. People need to know where they are going and how they are going to get there. A clear mission gives people the definition of success they need to make progress, while shared values and principles provide the guidelines for behaviour and decision-making that will shape the journey. If these are established early on it will help attract the right team members and then engage people effectively so they can quickly get to the settled ‘norming’ phase.

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Invest time in individuals

Stephen Covey wisely said: “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” This is vitally important for the leader and manager. It is very easy to plough into a team environment and start pushing people to do things in a particular way but investing in individuals first can save a lot of time, effort and heartache.

Listening to your team members and understanding the needs and desires of your employees (as well as their skills and experience) will contribute to the effective management and working of the team. Giving time to individuals builds up capital in the relational bank account; an investment you can then draw upon when challenges hit, but hopefully with less chance of going overdrawn.

Give people clear roles and responsibilities

Team members, as well as needing to know where they are going, also need to know their part in the plan. Their roles and responsibilities need to be clearly laid out in such a way that they should be stretched but be able to play to their strengths. One of the most successful tools for establishing the roles within a team is the Belbin Team Roles model.

Meredith Belbin did extensive research into how effective teams function and worked out that there are nine functions or roles that need to be fulfilled for a team to work properly. Some people may take on more than one role but all the following bases need to be covered:

• Plants are highly creative and good at solving problems
• Resource Investigators connect with the world outside the team, bringing in external views on opportunities and competition
• Monitor Evaluators provide a logical, impartial view and help to weigh up options
• Co-ordinators focus on the objective and delegating tasks to team members
• Implementers plan and implement a workable strategy
• Completer Finishers bring high standards, see errors and add polish to the final solution
• Team workers help the team gel and identify things that need doing to help the team
• Shapers challenge and provide momentum by driving the team forward
• Specialists provide in-depth knowledge within a key area

The approach is explained more fully in his book Team Roles at Work (2010).

Overcoming challenges together

When people know where they are going, how they are getting there and what their role is then work starts getting done efficiently. At this point, the team can grow together as they face and overcome challenges together. Successfully tackling a work problem can bring more progress than a plethora of away-days. Helping someone through a problem is far more productive than catching someone in a ‘trust fall’ exercise. The important thing for the manager to remember at this point is that they need to be playing their part in the team, bringing leadership, keeping up good communication, supporting individuals and helping the team to make decisions.

Celebrating success

Finally, when something is done well it should be celebrated. This does not mean popping the champagne (although there are times for that), it could be as simple as praising a team member for a job well done. This should be done in a team or public setting so that people can share in the success and be encouraged to press forward in what they are doing. Then, at the end of a project, throw a party.

Congratulations, you have a fully functioning team!

What resources do you need to achieve your goal? How do you estimate those resources for your plan? Which ways can you get the resources you need?

Quite often we limit ourselves and our plan to our present resources.  After all, it is reasonable to ask ‘Which holiday can I afford?’ before going and booking one.  Budgeting is good stewardship and I would certainly not recommend getting into debt on a whim.

But we will never be able to dream big or make macro leaps forward if we limit our goals to what we can achieve with the resources we have now.  It is better to first ask what we are passionate about doing, working out the resources required, and then thinking creatively of ways to get what we need.  That is why this question comes some way down the planning process.

The importance of logistics

An army needs logistics. A large portion of every military is concerned with delivering the right resources to the right people in the right places.  In fact, there are many more logisticians than infantry soldiers in the average army.  But the army does not exist for logistics. It has a mission to achieve. That aim is very rarely just to do with just moving men and equipment from one place to another.  Logistics is a large and essential part of achieving your aim. But it is there to support the mission, not to drive it.  History testifies to the fact that an army will beg, borrow and steal if necessary to get the job done if (or rather when) logistics fail.  You can still achieve your aim when resources are difficult to come by if you remain focussed; as the United States Marine Corps would say: you just need to ‘improvise, adapt and overcome!’

The right motivation is key

This is because there are very few times when finances and resources are fixed.  A compelling vision inspires us to innovate and save. It motivates us to earn and raise the funding that we need and find the tools to get the job done.

Why is it that many people who win the lottery often struggle. Why do they end up having spent their money within a few years?  The gambling industry sells winning as the dream; it does not provide a vision for what comes beyond that.  Many people who win do not have a clear idea of what they want to do with the money. They might take a nice holiday and pay off the mortgage but that is not a grand vision. Anyway, these things can be done without playing the lottery or the roulette wheel.

People who make (and keep) large amounts of money use it productively. Resources that continue to grow are usually driven by a vision beyond that of just making cash.  Bill Gates, the richest man in the world for most of the last decade, was not motivated primarily by money.  When he started Microsoft with Paul Allen they had a vision of a computer in every home. This dream, of how computing could transform the world, drove Microsoft. It became the most successful software business in the world and made Bill Gates a multi-billionaire.

Money, Manpower and Materiel

So we start with the dream and then work out what we need to make it a reality.  When we need to make something happen it generally comes down to the three ‘M’s:

• Money
• Manning
• Materiel

Cash, workers and equipment are all important but it is usually the first element, the money, which drives others; so this is the primary consideration here (we will look at the people issue more under the Who question).

Estimating the cost

When we have our dream or our goal, we can start to put a cost against it.  If it is hard to assess the cost for a whole goal we can break it down, as we have done previously, and cost each constituent task or step.

Remember to put a cost against the time you invest in achieving the goal.  When doing something yourself you can feel you are getting it done for free but that is not actually true.  Our time is worth something, even if it is just the opportunity-cost of not being able to do something else while we are engaged with a task we have decided upon.

Often it will turn out cheaper to pay someone else to do a task that can be delegated as this leaves you just the things that no-one else can do and you will achieve your goal all the sooner.  We will look at delegation some more under the ‘Who’, but having broken down tasks and now putting costs to them will help you make decisions on the team you might need.

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Alternative funding

Once you have estimated a cost for each individual task you will get an idea of the budget for the whole project.  Once this has been done you can start to think creatively about how to reduce the costs. Or you can seek further resources in more inventive ways (and no I am not talking about stealing here!).

For example, instead of paying for a qualified professional, could you get someone to do the work voluntarily? Perhaps you could offer them experience as an intern? If someone is still in training or education they may value the experience more than pay.  Alternatively, think about what service or product you might be able to offer someone in return. Bartering is as old as trade itself but sometimes people forget it. I have used this sort of transaction in building my business. For example I have coached people in return for help with my website.

I used this method when I employed someone to develop my website. They worked on the website in return provided some coaching to help them further their career. It was an easy win for both of us, and no cash changed hands.

Fuel the dream

Considering the resources we need and how we are going to get them is an important aspect of how we make our dreams real.  An idea becomes a lot more tangible as we think about and assess the tools and materials we need for the job. It can take some time, and may not be as liberating as some of the big picture thinking, but it is important so stick with it!

“First, have a definite, clear practical ideal; a goal, an objective. Second, have the necessary means to achieve your ends; wisdom, money, materials, and methods. Third, adjust all your means to that end.” Aristotle

How should we delegate work effectively? What is a SMART or SMARTER task, and how can they help?

When we set ourselves a goal, we want to stick to it. Equally, as a leader or manager, you have to effectively delegate tasks in order for your team to perform well and to achieve your aim.

But this is simpler in theory than in practice. Often a leader’s’ experience is that – even when you think you have delegated something effectively – you still encounter problems. People may keep coming back and bugging you with questions, or alternatively the task is not done on time, or the job is not completed to the right standard.

To help avoid these issues we can use the acronym ‘SMART’ when delegating work. SMART stands for:

• Specific,
• Measurable,
• Attainable,
• Relevant and
• Time-bound.

This method is accredited to George T. Doran (who first described a version of the acronym in the November 1981 edition of Management Review) and since then the method has evolved to encompass various adaptations of the acronym including having an E (for evaluate) and an extra R (for re-evaluate) to create ‘SMARTER’ goals.

Let’s look at each one in more detail.

What a SMART or SMARTER task actually means

S – Specific

When you give someone a goal it needs to be specific. It needs to be clearly defined and unambiguous. Whether it is a large mission or a smaller task you need to express what success looks like.

Specific is the most useful word here but you could also substitute ‘significant’ or ‘stretching’ in here if you want to make a task more aspirational (such as a ‘BHAG’ – Big Hairy Audacious Goal – promoted by Jim Collins in Good to Great) or use it as a reminder to keep things ‘simple’ or ‘sustainable’.

M – Measurable

Next, the task needs to be measureable. In other words, it needs to be possible to track the progress of completion of the goal. If the task is a big one you might need to break it down into separate activities and set milestones to help monitor progress.

Having specified the goal and broken it down to measure it you have the fundamentals of a plan.

A – Attainable

It is good for goals to stretch us but the ‘A’ here makes us ensure that the task is attainable. We can be bold but the task needs to be achievable. A task can stretch a person or a team (this is healthy) but if you are asking the impossible of someone, it will quickly become de-motivational. As a leader, you set goals to help people grow, not to set them up for failure.

Therefore by asking this question we also consider whether the person in question is properly equipped and supported to achieve the task. If it is our goal then we need to reflect upon our readiness. As a manager, we should be checking that whoever we delegate to has the right training and resources to complete their work.

R – Relevant

The task needs to be relevant to the vision of the team or organisation. Ask yourself, does this piece of work take you a step closer to achieving your overall mission? It is in line with your values? If not you may need to redefine the task.

The work also needs to be relevant to the person you are delegating to. Are they the best person for the job? Is it part of their role and job description? Do they have the relevant skills and experience? Will they be developed by this task?

T – Time Dependent

Having to create a timeline makes you properly assess how long a piece of work should take. Considering time also makes you evaluate your priorities and any dependencies that one task may have upon another.

Deadlines also help to keep people accountable for finishing and stop a piece of work dragging on endlessly. The time element, as with everything else, should be set in agreement with the person you are delegating to so that you all ‘contract in’ to the parameters for the work.

E – Evaluate

Adding in the ‘E’ of ‘Evaluate’ is useful as it brings in the discipline of reviewing how well work has been done. It gives the opportunity for feedback; praise, constructive criticism and learning on behalf of the manager and worker.

For a larger goal you might want to consider these evaluation steps and plan them in along with your overall deadline. Make evaluation time dependent too.

R – Re-evaluate

Decision making and learning happen in a cycle. We recognise this by adding the re-evaluation step here. Re-evaluation is a continuation of the learning from the ‘Evaluate’ phase. Once you have identified lessons at the evaluation phase these should be incorporated in the next stage of the activity. This gives the opportunity to learn and improve as the task progresses.

For example, the first time around the deadline might not have been achieved or the person may have needed more support to achieve the goal. Once the task has been re-set and re-started then the results can be re-evaluated to identify improvement.

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Set SMART goals and SMARTER tasks

Setting SMART goals helps us ensure that goals are actually achieved. It helps take the goal from an idea to a plan that we have committed to.

Equally the SMARTER approach provides a useful checklist and process by which both a manager and employee can agree upon the parameters for a task and be accountable for its outcome. Setting SMARTER tasks helps to build in the reviewing and learning from goals that if often forgotten or neglected.

So what is your next goal or task? Apply the SMART or model and make sure it happens!

Start with Why (How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action) is the title of Simon Sinek’s book, website and TED talk.

Simon Sinek focusses on the fact that for a team to operate effectively everyone needs to be motivated and to feel that they belong.  This is the reason leaders need to start with the ‘why’, in other words the purpose, values and inspiration behind any business or project.  People are more productive and engaged if they want to do something rather than because they have to do something.

For a customer or client the ‘why’ is also more compelling and alluring as Simon points out in his example about Apple computers.  The ‘what’ would express:

The ‘why’ is therefore the reason and the belief. The ‘how’ and the ‘what’ are the results that confirm that you are holding fast to these values.

If you want to find out more I recommend that you check out his TED talk here:

If you like that and want more then you will love his book.  Check it out by clicking on the link here:

 

You may notice that Simon Sinek has a slightly different approach to applying the words ‘why’, ‘how’ and ‘what’ to that in The Right Questions, which is of course totally fine!  Actually you should see that when you get beyond the definitions the key lessons between the Start with Why methodology and The Right Questions are actually broadly the same and I would agree that overall our actions and decisions are based on our values therefore it is incredible important to understand our ‘why’ before we get into the planning and doing stages.