What are your priorities in life? How do you prioritise things you spend your time, money, and energy on? Which prioritisation method do you employ to make decisions and plan your schedule?

What is prioritisation and what does it mean?

Prioritisation (or prioritization) is about how we order things according to perceived worth. The Oxford Dictionary definition is:

“The action or process of deciding the relative importance or urgency of a thing or things.”

We all have priorities, whether we recognise them or not. If when we do think we know what our priorities are it is good to reflect on our actions to see how well what we think we value, and our behaviours, align. In the words of Mahatma Gandhi:

“Action expresses priorities” – Gandhi

Most revealing of all is when we choose one thing over another as competing priorities demonstrate what we value the most. In other words, our decisions are influenced by our principles.

The challenge of competing priorities: an example of prioritisation

I started playing the guitar in my teens, but I had never really improved beyond a certain level.  Why? Quite simply it was because I never practised enough.  It was not that I did not like playing the guitar; it was just that I enjoyed other things more.

In my dreams, I could play like Jimi Hendrix.  In my mind’s eye, I could see myself saving the day at a gig, strolling onto the stage to replace an injured lead guitarist, and stunning my friends with amazing solos, my fingers a blur on the fretboard!  But there was a big difference between successful guitarists and me. That difference went beyond just raw talent (of which I had very little).

Guitar legends such as Jimi Hendrix or Eric Clapton would pick a guitar up at the beginning of the day and would hardly put it down until they went to bed; it is like an extension of their body.  I rarely picked mine up at all.  When practising I got frustrated or bored quickly. If I had the choice between practising for an hour or going to the gym, I would generally choose the latter.

I realised that even though I loved the guitar, I loved other things more. It was an important lesson in understanding priorities. I am now at peace with my guitar playing (and feel less guilty about my lack of practice) because I understand that my values mean that I will often prioritise other activities. This is not a bad thing, it is just a reflection of my principles.

Values and Priorities: The Magnifying Glass Tool

I think of examining priorities like using a magnifying glass. I tend to carry a magnifying glass on my travels, even if it is just a small one as part of my compass. The magnifying glass helps to enlarge our vision to reveal hidden details. It also amplifies the light we shine on something, so much so that we can even use it to create heat, even fire.

When considering the ‘Why’ question (as part of The Right Questions framework) and exploring our values (our compass) we can see how the examination of priorities (using the magnifying glass) relates to the exploration of our passions (the fire-starter) as discussed previously.

The Quest

Understand your values, unlock your purpose, set your priorities, achieve success. Click here to sign up and get the 1st stage for free!

Understanding your priorities by using the Magnifying Glass Tool

The best way to examine our priorities is to look at the evidence of how we spend our time and money. The Magnifying Glass tool does just that. It is effectively an audit of our schedule and finances. This is because, as journalist and author Germany Kent points out:

“A person’s actions will ALWAYS tell you what their priorities are. People spend their time, money, and energy on what’s important to them.” – Germany Kent

To do the analysis effectively you want to examine at least three months. This helps to even out any anomalies in your usual habits. If you can choose an even longer period then so much the better; the more data you use, the more accurate your conclusions are likely to be.

Examining financial choices

Look at your bank and credit card statements and answer the following questions:

• What are the main areas of spending?
• What proportion goes to each category of spend?
• For the ‘essentials’ (for example spending on housing, food, utilities, tax etc) how does your spending compare with average spending in your location or demographic? If there is a difference, what might this infer about your values?
• Of the money left over, what do you choose to spend your discretionary income on? What do these things (travel, eating out, fashion, music etc) reveal in terms of your prioritisation?
• How much do you save versus spending on pleasures and pastimes? How does this reflect your priorities?
• Is there anything you think you should change to better reflect your principles?

Life hack tip: Money Management

Examining how you spend your money is much easier with the help of some software. Fortunately, many online banking apps can help you easily identify where your money goes and can even create helpful reports. Alternatively, you can download financial information in .csv (or similar file types) for further analysis using a spreadsheet or other application.

Analysing the use of time

Look at your diary, schedule or calendar and answer these questions:

• What are the main uses of your time?
• What proportion goes to each use of time?
• For the ‘essentials’ (for example sleeping, eating etc) how does your time compare with the average time spent in your location or demographic? If there is a difference, what might this infer about your values?
• Of the time left over, what do you do with your spare time? What do these things (watching screens, social media, sports, vacations etc) reveal in terms of your prioritisation?
• How much do you work versus spending time with friends, family or on pastimes? How does this reflect your priorities?
• Is there anything you think you should change to better reflect your principles?

Life hack tip: Time Management

As with money, analysing time is often easier with the use of an online tool. I use my online calendar with colour coding that represents different categories of activity that reflect my life priorities. I use a weekly calendar view and block time out each day, usually in segments of thirty minutes or more. This is my main time management system and it helps me to effectively plan forward, according to my priorities, as well as make it easy to review how I have spent my time.

“You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage – pleasantly, smilingly, nonapologetically – to say ‘no’ to other things. And the way you do that is by having a bigger ‘yes’ burning inside.” – Stephen Covey, First Things First (1994)

How do you stand out in the workplace? What core competencies must you have to be successful in business? Work in all sectors is increasingly dynamic, and in order to succeed, employees must have the ability to deal with complexity, identify critical information, make sound decisions, and collaborate effectively with people both inside and outside their immediate environment. The problem is, many people lack the skills that employers need to achieve their goals.

CEB, a member-based advisory company based in the US, has recently published research looking into this challenge and the results are of vital importance to employers and employees alike. As a consultant friend of mine noted ‘this is gold dust!’ If you are wanting to be hired or looking to hire people then you should be thinking about this list of core competencies.

But before the list, here is Conrad Schmidt, global research officer for CEB, who frames the problem in this way:

“Employees today have more ambiguous objectives and are working with larger groups of stakeholders, making both flexibility and the ability to collaborate ‘must-have’ competencies for companies seeking higher levels of performance. Important business decisions are also being made lower in the organization, putting an even higher premium on good judgment. Building the next generation of high-performers will require organizations to cultivate these skills within their employee base and to be keenly aware of the dramatic shifts occurring in today’s work environment.”

What are the top 10 competencies?

CEB looked at the performance of over 20,000 workers from across the globe, incorporating data gathered from more than 40 different organisations. The conclusion of the study was that there are 10 competencies that, when exhibited together, identify someone as a high performer. The core competencies are:

1. Ability to Prioritize
2. Works well in teams
3. Organizational Awareness
4. Effective Problem Solving
5. Self-Awareness
6. Proactivity
7. Ability to Influence
8. Effective Decision Making
9. Learning Agility
10. Technical savvy

How can you develop the essential competencies?

The Right Questions is a framework that can be used as a tool to address these core competencies.  If you are seeking to improve in one of these areas then coaching can be a highly effective way to help you develop in these key areas.

Coaching, when done well, supports a client in achieving a specific personal or professional goal generally through facilitation of thinking.  This creates an environment of learning for the coachee.

Coaching can be described as:

Unlocking people’s potential to maximise their own performance. (Whitmore 2009: 11)

Or

The art of facilitating the performance, learning and development of another. (Downey, 2003:21)

Research has confirmed that one-to-one coaching is the most effective and satisfying way to help people achieve their goals.  This is compared to group coaching, teaching or self-coaching (Losch et al; 2016).

If you would like to find out more about coaching and how to find a coach then please do email me via our contact page.

Also, you might be interested in The Quest, which is an online virtual coaching course which leads on you a journey of self-discovery, improvement and success. Just sign up using the link below to try the first module for free:

The Quest

Understand your values, unlock your purpose, set your priorities, achieve success. Click here to sign up and get the 1st stage for free!

References

• Whitmore, J (2009) Coaching for Performance: GROWing Human Potential and Purpose: The Principles and Practice of Coaching and Leadership, 4^th London: Nicholas Brealey.
• Downey, M (2003) Effective Coaching: Lessons from the Coach’s Coach, 2^nd London: Texere.
• Echart, S (2013) CEB Executive Guidance 2013, https://news.cebglobal.com/2012-12-20-CEB-Identifies-Anatomy-of-the-New-High-Performer
• Losch, S; Traut-Mattausch, E; Mulberger, M D; Jonas, E (2016) Comparing the Effectiveness of Individual Coaching, Self-Coaching, and Group Training: How Leadership Makes the Difference. Frontiers in Psychology, 7, pp.629

The ‘why’ represents our values.  Our values are part of our identity; they are the things we love, the ideals we prioritise.  They are central things that define why we have a certain vision, why we do the things we do, why we attract or are attracted to certain people. I often think values as being summed up by 3 Ps; our:

• Principles
• Passions and
• Priorities

Values shape our beliefs, our worldview and the paradigm that we operate from. These are often things we hold in common with others at one level, but the particular combination and application of the values make them unique to us as an individual or specific organisation.

“I’d asked around 10 or 15 people for suggestions. Finally one lady friend asked the right question, ‘Well, what do you love most?’ That’s how I started painting for money.” 

Andy Warhol

Should we ask the question ‘why?’

People often avoid asking ‘why’ questions because they can elicit an emotional response. They can make people defensive, or make the questioner appear judgemental. But if we fail to ask ‘why’ questions of ourselves we can really miss a trick.  If, or rather when, things get tough people do start to ask ‘why’ questions. We need to make sure we have some answers before then, particularly if you are a leader.  Let’s face it; things will inevitably get difficult at some point on our journey.  In challenging times we need to understand the deep things that motivate us towards a vision or mission.  It is much better to get those ideals clear ahead of time rather than having to discover them in a time of crisis.

When it comes to why questions we can learn from young children, as they are very good at asking the question ‘why?’  They will often keep asking why until they get a satisfactory answer; children are hard to fool! You can tell when children are following this line of questioning as there are usually accompanied by a red-faced adult who is becoming increasingly irate! The parent’s frustration grows as they start to run out of responses and realise that perhaps they do not actually know the answer themselves.  As adults, it seems we are much better at fooling ourselves and settling for a more superficial answer to a why question.

Simon Sinek identified the importance of asking why in his book Start with why. He argues that people who know their ‘why’ are the ones who lead and inspire others. Therefore we need to ask why, but we can also choose to construct our why questions in such a way that is less confrontational. For example, asking someone ‘what motivates you?’ is often better than ‘why are you doing that?’

“People don’t buy what you do; they buy why you do it. And what you do simply proves what you believe”

Simon Sinek

The 5 Whys

Asking why several times over and applying the why to each subsequent answer can help us dig down to the motivational root of an issue.

I was out running one day and spotted someone fishing by a riverbank. Apart from eating the fish, I had never really understood the allure of fishing, so I asked them why they enjoyed it.  Their first answer was because they enjoyed being outdoors.  Instead of asking directly ‘why’ again, I said: “that’s interesting, I love being outdoors too, what particularly do you like about it?” They answered that it was the only time they really slowed down and felt at peace.  When I questioned further they said that the most important thing was getting the time to reflect.  I then left them to enjoy their peace and reflection but by asking ‘why’ several times over I had gained a deeper understanding into the motivations of that person and learned that fishing was not just about catching fish!

The art of asking why in this way was used by great effect by Sakichi Toyoda who developed the ‘5 whys’ approach to problem-solving within the Toyota Motor Corporation and helped to revolutionise their manufacturing and make Toyota production far more efficient. Every system and action was analysed by asking why over and over until the primary reason was revealed and the process could be refined.

Reflection question:

• Which work processes could you do this for? Choose a process that you follow and ask why you do it. Keep asking why until you get the real reason for the existence of the process. Once you know the answer, consider, how could this be done better?

Revealing our values

So we need to look at why we do things and ask ‘why’ of ourselves many times over.  Then, as we delve into our answers we begin to see our principles and values revealed.

As we go through this process we will soon see that there are actually many things that we value or that we would agree are good principles.  The key here is working out what are the things that you value the most.  For example, you could say that you value making new friends as well as maintaining long-standing relationships. But, if in looking at both these activities you see that you spend a lot more time on one than the other, then arguably that is the one you value the most.  Equally, you could say that you value two worthy charities. But again, the one you give the most money to would probably give a good indication of where your priorities lie.

These are simple examples but the principle applies even to more abstract concepts.  Loyalty and integrity are both excellent things to value. It might require some careful thought working out which one you prioritise most, but it can be done. There are further exercises in the posts and links below to help you.

Identifying core values

You will probably start with quite a long list but it is a worthwhile exercise to drill down to a list of 4-6 core values for yourself or your organisation. Any more than that and it becomes harder to see how your values differentiate you from other people.  If you are an organisation trying to discover, agree and instil values into your workforce it is also hard for people to remember many more than this!

Then, of this shortlist, identify your top two. Brené Brown (author of Dare to Lead) has done a lot of research that backs up the importance of knowing your top values and priorities.

Refining the expression of your core values

As you hone down to your core values it can also be useful to use adjectives to really help capture the particular nature of a value.  So, for example, you might value of community, but what sort of community?  Is it close community, global community, fun community, caring community, inclusive community, or diverse community you are thinking about?  Adding the right adjective moves you closer to your unique perspective and combination of values.

There are further exercises and advice on how to identify and refine your values in the post What are your personal values?

The importance of values

The process of exploring your values is one worth spending time on. Values are at least as essential as the discovery of our vision and mission. Don’t worry about getting them perfectly captured, especially on a first try. Even our values evolve over time so think of this as a cyclical process, as with other decision making approaches. Do some thinking, record or communicate your thoughts, and then return to reflect on them again regularly in the future.

Once we have identified our values we may not always need to refer to them all the time but they are always there steering us, even if it is just at a subconscious level.

When I was in the Alps for the first time I had a particular dream in mind: a dream of standing on the summit of Mont Blanc.  Success was therefore easy to define; my aim was to get to the top of Mont Blanc and back safely.  Most of the time the vision was there to see, as Mont Blanc loomed large above me. The mission was also clear when I looked at the route on the map.  But, as I climbed higher up and the cloud started to roll in, I could no longer see the mountain clearly.  I could see the route on the map but I could not relate it to the ground.  It was at this point that I had to rely on my compass and altimeter to keep me on the right track.

Values are like a compass; they help us keep on track even when the route to achieving our dream is unclear or the mission is challenged.  Values are therefore invaluable.

“He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.“

Friedrich Nietzsche

Reflection question:

• Once you have identified them, what can you do to keep your values in mind?

One thing I do is to have my personal values and vision at the top of my to-do list. My list of tasks is organised by role and having my values at the top helps me to weigh my priorities correctly.

If you want to read more about values then check out why things we value define our personal identity.

What you prioritise, in your work and your leisure time, is important. It has a cumulative effect – for good or ill – over time. Therefore identifying and setting your priorities is key.

Every day we make decisions that reflect our values and priorities in life. Where we choose to spend our resources of time, energy and money reflect what we think is valuable.

What does it mean to have priorities?

I started playing the guitar in my teens but I had never really improved beyond a certain (and fairly basic) level.  Why? Quite simply it was because I never practised enough.  It was not that I did not like playing the guitar; it was just that I enjoyed other things more.

In my dreams, I could play like Jimi Hendrix.  In my mind’s eye, I could see myself saving the day at a gig, strolling onto the stage to replace an injured lead guitarist and stunning my friends with amazing solos, my fingers a blur on the fretboard!  But there was a big difference between successful guitarists and me. That difference went beyond just raw talent (of which I had very little).

Guitar legends such as Jimi Hendrix or Eric Clapton would pick a guitar up at the beginning of the day and would hardly put it down until they went to bed; it is like an extension of their body.  I rarely picked mine up at all.  When practising I got frustrated or bored pretty quickly. If I had the choice between practising for an hour or going to the gym I would generally choose the latter.

I realised that I did not have the motivation to be the guitarist I dreamed of being because I did not value it enough.  It turned out that this dream was not one worth pursuing.  Therefore, because I needed time to invest in other things I decided to sell my guitars and properly pursue other dreams.  I did not want the good to be the enemy of the great.

How do you set your priorities?

How do you prioritise your time? Which things should you do and which things should you avoid? What principles or tools do you use to help you with prioritising?

Think about pastimes for a moment.  How many things do you enjoy in your leisure time?  I enjoy doing lots of different things: writing, reading, watching films, drawing, listening to music, keeping fit, playing sports and many more things besides.  As time has gone on and more pressures are applied to my time I decided to take a good look at how I invested the finite time that I have.  It was at this point I realised that there is no such thing as free time; you can spend it at will but you cannot pay to get any more, let alone claim a free top-up.

So I decided I needed to be more focused on how I spent my time. There were several things I read that particularly helped me here. Here are three recommended resources.

The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

Firstly I read Stephen Covey’s book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. This has a really practical way of prioritising tasks depending on their urgency and importance (also referred to as the Eisenhower Matrix).  When analysing our time management it can be scary to see how much we spend on unimportant and non-urgent tasks. This can be surfing the web, or reading seemingly urgent (yet unimportant) emails that keep popping into our inbox.  This challenged me so much that I now do not keep my email application open. I check it a maximum of a couple of times a day and prioritise the mail before I respond. I also turn off a lot of notifications on apps.

The Pareto Principle

Secondly, I read about the 80-20 rule, also known as the Pareto principle. This states that generally, 20% of our efforts produce 80% of the results.  In other words, in business, 80% of profits come from 20% of your work. On the negative side, it is likely that 80% of your complaints come from 20% of your clients!  Therefore, by identifying the most useful 20% of what we do (and who we work with) we can maximise that. By reinforcing success we can multiply what we can achieve. By cutting the dross we can also be more efficient.

Outliers: The Story of Success

Thirdly I read Anders Ericsson’s study (referred to in Malcolm Gladwell’s book ‘Outliers: The Story of Success’) that proposed that becoming really good at anything was more a matter of time than anything else, and around 10,000 hours of effective application was needed to excel at something (by the way, that equates to about 20 hours a week for 10 years – no small investment of time).  I decided that I needed to identify my most effective gifts, time and tasks and concentrate on them.  One simple application of this was how I use my day.  My most productive time is in the morning, between breakfast and lunch.  That is when I plan to do the bulk of my ‘productive’ tasks such as writing.  The afternoon I reserve primarily for meetings, emails and things that require (for me) a slightly lower level of energy and concentration.

Prioritisation Techniques

From my reading there are several prioritisation techniques and tools that I have adopted. I have written other posts about the ones I use most. You can read them by following the links below:

The Eisenhower Matrix

The SWOT Analysis

Values are central; they go to the very core of us, to our personal identity.  Our principles are perhaps the most important things as, whether or not we live out our dream or achieve our mission, they are most likely to remain intact. Values are a foundation and a plumb line as well as a moral compass.

“We are not in control, principles control. We control our actions, but the consequences that flow from these actions are controlled by Principles.”  Stephen R. Covey

Our decisions and actions flow from our principles and in this way our values help to define us; they are part of our identity.  Our exploration and discovery of our principles is therefore a discovery of self.  As one anonymous observer noted: “Every one of us has in him a continent of undiscovered character.  Blessed is he who acts the Columbus to his own soul.”

So what do we know about our own identity?  What do we value in ourselves and others?

Think about the first two questions you are generally asked when you meet someone.  If you are from the UK, the US or a large part of the world it is likely to be “what is your name?” (usually meaning your first name) quickly followed by “what do you do?”

What are people really asking when they enquire about what you do?  They are asking about your job, profession or vocation for sure.  But the fact that this comes out so quickly when we meet people indicates how highly we rate work in our culture and how closely we identify ourselves with what we do.  When people ask what you do they are actually asking who you are.  They are hoping for an answer that will help them quickly categorise you.

What do you do?

I went along with this for many years because, for a long time, it was easy.  I started out as an Army Officer working as a bomb disposal expert.  This was an easy title, and one I enjoyed using, as it sounded impressive.  I enjoyed seeing the raised eyebrows and the endearing look of respect (that I so little deserved in reality).  Next, I was a Project Manager, working in the construction industry.  Again an easy label, although I must admit it sounded less impressive at parties than something with ‘Bomb’ in the title.  But hey, I was married by then so who was I trying to impress anyway?  Well everyone actually!

The real challenge came with my next job, working for a rapidly growing church.  My job description was constantly evolving and therefore it was hard to describe exactly what I did, especially as I was not actually a church minister.  I found that introducing myself generally required a long explanation.  The process of outlining what I did was just long enough to watch people’s eyes glaze over, stare down their drinks or look furtively towards the exit.

When I moved on again and started working as a management consultant it was not really any easier, as the title ‘consultant’ invokes so many different things.   You may be motivated by helping individuals and equipping organisations, but one has a lot of justification to do when people look at you with an expression that seems to imply ‘consultant’ is synonymous with ‘parasite’!

Training dolphins to be government assassins

And then, at one networking event, I had a moment of clarity.  I started introducing myself in this way: “Hi, I’m Simon, I train dolphins to be government assassins.”  Once again I had attained the level of eyebrow movement that I have attained as a bomb disposal officer (but I guess more out of surprise than respect).  Life was easy once again (for a moment at least) but it did make me think. Why do people, including me, care so much about titles?  Why would I be prepared to embellish or even make up something about what I do? What does it say about me? The answers to these questions are pretty challenging.

Are we just what we do?

If asked about your identity, like me, you may not initially answer beyond your name and job but of course, there is much more to us than that.  One way we can discover something more about our identity is by what we think when we look at other people.  As we walk down a street, enter a room or sit staring out of a café window we are constantly assessing those around us.  We compare looks, wealth, car, house, job, children, happiness, clothes, phone.  In conversation, this process continues through things like accent, vocabulary, demeanour, politics, religion, aspirations and education.

Of course, much of what we first think is not real; we try to make a value judgement in a fleeting moment, judging the book by its cover.  Not surprisingly this process actually tells us more about us than about the other person, because how we classify others speaks volumes about how we perceive ourselves.  If we are putting someone else in a certain box or on a certain level what does that say about our position?  I for one did not think I had a pride problem until I thought about this!

Even this internal classification can be somewhat misleading.  We all have roles that we play and we often wear masks that represent an aspirational self, the person we want to show to the world, rather than the real us.  But even if this ideal self is not the true self we can learn more of ourselves. This is because even if we are aspiring to be something or someone else it once again reveals what we value.

What is your worldview? What are your beliefs?

Work, position, pension, benefits package and job title can be important to us.  Our perception of our perfect partner, spouse and family can be the more presentable faces of simple base motivators.  Money, sex and power have always been identified as strong drivers, even if they are hidden under more subtle layers of respectability.  Our identity can also be wrapped up in more ethereal things.  Our worldview, philosophy, faith or politics can define us because they affect the way we live.

None of these things needs to be necessarily good or bad in themselves, but for everything we prioritise we need to ask why we care about it so that we can understand it further and get under the skin of our thinking.  We need to be aware of the things around which we construct our lives.  We need to be certain of the foundation we are building upon.

Worth-ship

If we value something very highly we give it worth above other things or even ultimate worth. We build our lives around it. This prioritising, giving position, reverence or regard was called ‘worschipe’ in Middle English.  Today its name is ‘worship’.  In other words, even if you do not consider yourself religious we all give something religious value.

Here is some insight from the influential writer David Foster Wallace on the subject:

“Because here’s something else that’s weird but true: in the day-to-day trenches of adult life, there is actually no such thing as atheism. There is no such thing as not worshipping. Everybody worships. The only choice we get is what to worship.

And the compelling reason for maybe choosing some sort of god or spiritual-type thing to worship — be it JC or Allah, bet it YHWH or the Wiccan Mother Goddess, or the Four Noble Truths, or some inviolable set of ethical principles — is that pretty much anything else you worship will eat you alive.”

The Importance of knowing where your priorities and values lie

David Foster Wallace then goes on to illustrate the dangers we face:

“If you worship money and things, if they are where you tap real meaning in life, then you will never have enough, never feel you have enough. It’s the truth. Worship your body and beauty and sexual allure and you will always feel ugly. And when time and age start showing, you will die a million deaths before they finally grieve you. On one level, we all know this stuff already. It’s been codified as myths, proverbs, clichés, epigrams, parables; the skeleton of every great story. The whole trick is keeping the truth upfront in daily consciousness.

Worship power, you will end up feeling weak and afraid, and you will need ever more power over others to numb you to your own fear. Worship your intellect, being seen as smart, you will end up feeling stupid, a fraud, always on the verge of being found out. But the insidious thing about these forms of worship is not that they’re evil or sinful, it’s that they’re unconscious. They are default settings.

They’re the kind of worship you just gradually slip into, day after day, getting more and more selective about what you see and how you measure value without ever being fully aware that that’s what you’re doing.”

We may not believe in God but we all choose to give something ultimate worth and choose to build our lives around it. It is important that we know what that thing is and ask ourselves why we value it so highly.

Digging down to our principles

Self-exploration can be a scary journey but it is an essential one.  We need to know about our principles because what happens when these things are challenged or even taken away? What are we left with?  Are our values vulnerable?  If they come under attack could everything else come tumbling down?  We face long-term insecurity if our values are unreliable or temporal things, even if they are good things such as people or helpful things such as possessions.

So what are your values? How do they affect your identity? I would encourage you to take some time out to reflect seriously on these questions.

You can explore these questions and discover more about your own values by reading: What are your personal values?

“Men go abroad to wonder at the heights of mountains, at the huge waves of the sea, at the long courses of the rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motions of the stars, and they pass by themselves without wondering.”  St. Augustine

What next?

You may want also want some help, delving deeper into your values and identifying your goals. I have the pleasure of seeing amazing, positive, transformations in the individuals and organisations I work with. If you would like some assistance too, in person or online, then please do drop me a line. You can email me via the contact page.

Values are the principles and beliefs by which we live our lives and make our decisions. If you want to effectively lead yourself and lead others then you need to be aware of what those values are.

Our values are also linked to how we feel. Think for a moment: are you feeling unhappy, distressed or dissatisfied about something?

If you are, then there is a good chance that your reality is not living up to your expectations. Economists and researchers Rakesh Sarin and Manel Baucells worked out the fundamental equation of happiness was: Happiness = Reality – Expectations.

“Happiness equals reality minus expectations”

Rakesh Sarin and Manel Baucells

For example, it might be that you are unhappy about your:

• Career
• Relationships
• Habits
• Finances
• Work-life balance
• Health and fitness
• Life purpose and direction

The actual reason why you are unhappy

The usual reaction at this stage is to set a goal and achieve something that we think will make us feel happy. But, this often does not solve the underlying issue as unhappiness, and our expectations about being content, are actually rooted in our values. Our dissatisfaction is often caused by a misalignment between your core values and what is happening in your life and work at the moment.

Therefore, even if you did set and achieve a goal without understanding this, you may well find you end up unhappy again. If you do not make a decision in the context of your key principles then it is likely you will make the wrong decision or not really solve the deeper cause of your unhappiness.

By understanding your values you are in a good place to make a change for the better. That is the reason for starting with asking the question ‘why?’ Why do we want something? Why do we feel that way? Why do we want to change? These are the questions that will help us understand our motivations and pick the right goals.

Understanding your own values or principles is therefore vital in order to be effective and happy. And that is not just me saying that. Ray Dalio shares his precepts in his book ‘Principles and urges others to discover theirs. Brene Brown evidences the importance of values in Dare to Lead and Steven R Covey argues for a model of leadership based on being Principle-Centred.

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What are values or principles in life?

Value denotes a degree of importance. In monetary terms, we set a value on something by how much we are willing to pay for a product or service.

In moral terms, a value is an ideal that we give a high degree of importance. Values are the moral code that guides us, and the priorities that motivate us. They are the principles we uphold, the ethics and tenants that we believe in and ascribe to. These ideas are our standards that set our rules of conduct and standard of behaviour.

If you do not know what your values are then it is very likely that you are living your life – whether you know it or not – according to other people’s principles or priorities.

“Just as your car runs more smoothly and requires less energy to go faster and farther when the wheels are in perfect alignment, you perform better when your thoughts, feelings, emotions, goals, and values are in balance.”

Brian Tracy

How do we express our principles?

There are values we hold personally and those we share corporately, be that with a team, community or organisation. They are often similar but expressed in subtly different ways. For example, common personal values might be expressed as kindness but a team might talk about respect for others. A person may value honesty whereas an organisation might express that as transparency.

David Brooks has formulated another way of looking at values, and that is resume values versus eulogy values. The differences are explored in his book The Road to Character and outlined in his TED Talk, “Should you live for your resume or your eulogy?”

How do you assess your personal core values?

You can do an assessment of your values by examining different aspects of your life and looking for trends.  You may have a feel for the values you most relate to, but thinking about values through these different lenses will help you see which principles you really do embody or aspire towards.

In my experience, it is good to start with examining our:

• Personal Stories
• Priorities
• Passions and
• Principles

Personal Stories 

The amount of our character that is fixed at birth or developed by external influence has been a hotly contested subject for many years. We will not go into the ‘nature versus nurture’ arguments here, but it is relatively safe to say that our character is formed from a mixture of both innate qualities and our experiences.

There are various personality tests that you can do but one of the most instructive ways you can examine your character is by looking at the stories of your life.

Try to think about:

• When have you been most happy?
• Which achievement or experience are you most proud of?
• What has been your biggest success?
• What has been your biggest failure?
• When have you been most afraid and what do you fear most?
• Which thing in your past are you most ashamed of?

When reflecting on a personal story you can analyse it in this way:

• What was the situation?
• Which role did you have to play and what did you do?
• What was the result and what did you learn?

Certain themes and principles should emerge as you do this analysis.

Priorities

One simple and effective way to examine our priorities is to see where we use our resources. We invest our time and money in what we value.

Money

Where does your cash go? Money provides a very tangible expression of what we prioritise. Have a look at your bank account and credit card bills. Even how much you spend on essentials and where you shop can be telling. Food, clothing, and shelter are essential but buying luxury options are not. What do you choose to spend more or less on?

Do some analysis and ask:

• How do you budget or divide up what you spend?
• How much do you spend on different things? (E.g. debts, savings, utilities, rent/mortgage, holidays/travel, clothes, leisure activities etc.)

Time

Time is a truly finite resource. How you spend your time will give you a good indication of what you really value. Take a look at your diary or think back and answer the following:

• What amount of time goes to various activities each day and each week? (Working, sleeping, eating, leisure activities etc.)
• Within your work time, how does it break down? (Emails, speaking to people/phone calls, meetings, writing, planning, business development, people development, etc.)
• Which roles do you play in life and how do you prioritise them? (Employee, leader, spouse, parent, friend, child, creator, team member, other?)
• What habits or routines do you have?

Passions

Our passions are the things that drive us emotionally. Our passions either draw us towards or away from something or someone. Often we don’t analyse these thoughts and they can go unnoticed but if you reflect on your thoughts and dreams, beliefs and influences then you will gain a deeper understanding of your passions.

Thoughts and Dreams

What we spend our time thinking, dreaming or worrying about can also tell us a lot. Think about:

• What are you hoping to achieve in life?
• When you daydream what is it about?
• If time and money were not limited what would you do?
• Imagine that you have one wish that would immediately be fulfilled, what would it be?
• What are you anxious or stressed about right now?

Beliefs

What are your theological, metaphysical, philosophical and political beliefs? Ask yourself:

• What are the values of the politicians or political parties you vote for?
• Where do you put your trust for the future?
• When something goes wrong, what or who do you turn to for answers and support?
• What makes you joyful?
• What makes you angry?

Influences

There are many external influences on our lives and predominantly these are people we know or respect. Think about the following:

• Who do you follow?
• Who do you want to be like?
• Which are your favourite biographies?
• What are the books and stories you like most?
• Which films do you like most and why?
• What are the principles of your family and friends?

Principles

Having thought through your personal stories, how you spend your time and money, your dreams, your beliefs and your influences, you should be a much better place to assess what your values really are.

What trends do you see appearing and which words help to sum those up?

“Principles are fundamental truths that serve as the foundations for behavior that gets you what you want out of life. They can be applied again and again in similar situations to help you achieve your goals.”

Ray Dalio

What are examples of values or principles?

The list of words that we could use to express our values is almost endless but sometimes we can struggle to come up with the right one.

Here is a list of more than 150 more common values that will help to prompt you:

Accountability	Discipline	Humour	Respect
Accuracy	Discretion	Humility	Restraint
Achievement	Diversity	Independence	Results-oriented
Adventure	Dynamism	Ingenuity	Rigour
Altruism	Economy	Inner Harmony	Romance
Appearance	Effectiveness	Inquisitiveness	Security
Ambition	Efficiency	Insightfulness	Self-actualization
Autonomy	Elegance	Integrity	Self-control
Assertiveness	Empathy	Intelligence	Self-expression
Balance	Enjoyment	Intimacy	Selflessness
Beauty	Enthusiasm	Intuition	Self-reliance
Being the best	Environment	Joy	Sensitivity
Belonging	Equality	Justice	Serenity
Boldness	Excellence	Leadership	Service
Calmness	Excitement	Legacy	Shrewdness
Carefulness	Expertise	Love	Simplicity
Challenge	Exploration	Loyalty	Soundness
Cheerfulness	Expressiveness	Making a difference	Speed
Clarity	Fairness	Mastery	Spirituality
Commitment	Faith	Merit	Spontaneity
Community	Family	Nature	Stability
Communication	Flexibility	Obedience	Status
Compassion	Fidelity	Openness	Strategic
Competitiveness	Fitness	Order	Strength
Connectivity	Fluency	Originality	Structure
Consistency	Focus	Partnership	Success
Contentment	Freedom	Patriotism	Support
Continuous Improvement	Friendship	Perfection	Teamwork
Contribution	Fulfilment	Personal growth	Thankfulness
Control	Fun	Piety	Thoroughness
Cooperation	Generosity	Positivity	Thoughtfulness
Correctness	Goodness	Power	Timeliness
Courtesy	Grace	Practicality	Tolerance
Creativity	Growth	Privacy	Tradition
Curiosity	Happiness	Preparedness	Trustworthiness
Decisiveness	Hard Work	Professionalism	Truth
Democraticness	Health	Prudence	Understanding
Dependability	Helping Society	Quality-orientation	Uniqueness
Determination	Holiness	Recognition	Unity
Devoutness	Honesty	Reliability	Usefulness
Diligence	Honour	Resourcefulness	Vitality

What are your top 3 personal values?

Pick the 3 most important principles, those with the highest score and correlation after looking at the various aspects above.

Why 3? Because:

“If you have more than three priorities, you have no priorities”

Brené Brown, Dare to Lead

Three is a powerful number for various reasons (to find our more read The Rule of 3).

One of the best ways to identify your values is to follow this easy process:

1. print off a list (such as the one above) and then cut them up so you have one single value per piece of paper or card.
2. Now sort those values into three equal piles (most important, less important, least important)
3. Take the ‘most important’ pile and discard the rest.
4. Go through steps 2 and 3 until you are left with just 3 values.

How do you define or refine those principles?

For each of the 3 words that you have chosen, write your own definition. Think:

• What does the word mean to you?
• Which actions or behaviours display your defined value?
• What other word or words would you add to the initial one to make it embody the value most clearly?

The idea here is to define how you actually live out your value. Simon Sinek puts it in this way:

“For values or guiding principles to be truly effective they have to be verbs. It’s not “integrity,” it’s “always do the right thing.” It’s not “innovation,” it’s “look at the problem from a different angle.” Articulating our values as verbs gives us a clear idea – we have a clear idea of how to act in any situation.”

Simon Sinek

Next, put your principles in priority order. This is important as there will be decisions where you have to know the most important factor. To help you try asking these questions:

• If you could satisfy only one of the values which would you choose?
• When a situation causes a conflict between two of your values (for example career and family) what would you do?

Congratulations!

“It’s not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.”
― Roy Disney

Once you know your values you can use them to guide you in making decisions, setting goals and living a more fulfilling life. You are likely to continue to refine your list over time so it is worth reviewing whenever you review your plans.

We have to make an active choice. If we go with the flow then we can be swayed by wrong beliefs and unhelpful thoughts that can create bad habits, wrong values and an unhappy destiny. Or, if we actively work to define our values, we can build useful habits, have positive words and actions and create positive thoughts and liberating beliefs. We all have a personal responsibility for our destiny.

Taking things further

You have made a big step towards understanding your values and this will really help you. It does not end there though. In my experience, understanding values is an iterative process; you will refine your principles every time to take time to really examine them.

Your values create a firm platform for your decisions and plans. Question is, now you have the foundations, what will you build?

You may want to start making a plan for what you want to do next and if so you will find my post on making an action plan useful.

You may want also want some help, delving deeper into your values and identifying your goals. I have the pleasure of seeing amazing, positive, transformations in the individuals and organisations I work with. If you would like some assistance too, in person or online, then please do drop me a line. You can email me via the contact page.

The 5th October 2019 marked eight years since we lost Steve Jobs but his impact and wisdom lives on.  Last week I was reminded of the key to decision making and setting priorities.

What Steve Jobs did was actually really simple, and seemingly common sense.  He would work out the one most important thing he could be doing on any day, and then he would do that.

In his own words:

“Prioritization sounds like such a simple thing, but true prioritization starts with a very difficult question to answer, especially at a company with a portfolio approach: If you could only do one thing, what would it be? And you can’t rationalize the answer, and you can’t attach the one thing to some other things. It’s just the one thing.”

Steve Jobs

It was last week, listening to Rachel Carrell, founder of Koru Kids that I was reminded of this lesson to ‘be more Steve’ when it comes to prioritisation and decision making.

And guess what? Steve Jobs learnt this from Jerry Yang, the CEO of Yahoo. So to ‘be more Steve’ is not just to set good priorities, it is also to learn from other leaders as every interaction and exposure to another leader is a chance to grow.

You can read the full interview in the New York Times here:

How do you think you could best prioritise your tasks and workload? What are the best techniques and tools for prioritisation? How can you prioritise to improve efficiency and productivity?

I have a portfolio career and therefore am constantly organising and prioritising events in my calendar, to ensure that I am on top of all my various commitments. Therefore it is no surprise that I have spent a lot of time studying and experimenting with numerous prioritisation techniques.

If you search like I have you will find that there are many strategies for prioritising and tips on time management, so many that it can be overwhelming. Which approach is the best one? But, if you look carefully, you will see they all boil down to the same thing.

Whether you follow the advice of leaders such as Steve Jobs and Dwight Eisenhower or read business experts such as Stephen Covey, Tim Ferris, Brian Tracey or David Allen you will see there is a common theme, even if techniques might differ. Don’t have time to get through all that material? Don’t worry, as I have done that for you, I can give you the executive summary!

So, what is the result? The not-so-secret, irreducible truth at the heart of prioritising is simple:

Do the most important task first. 

You might have been expecting something more but it really is that simple. Let’s go back to a few of the sources so you can see what I mean, then we can put it into practice.

Put First Things First

If you want to be truly productive then you need to prioritise effectively. It is a constant decision-making process, working out what to do next.

“Put first things first” – Stephen R Covey

Putting first things first is one of Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. It means don’t check your email or your phone until you have achieved that important task!

Most people have a long list of things they need to do. The trick is then to prioritise that list, not to just start at the top and then work down.

Tools such as the Eisenhower Matrix, made popular by Stephen Covey, can help you work out which tasks are important and which are urgent. Alternatively, using the Pareto Principle (a favourite of Timothy Ferris) you can spot and leverage the 20% of work that will get you 80% of the results.

If you set your priorities in this way, it means however the rest of the day goes, you will have done the most important thing first.

But what if you are still struggling?

Be More Steve

The theory is simple, but the practice is often hard. How do you work out what to do when you are feeling overwhelmed? This is the same challenge that Steve Jobs faced, as he said:

“Prioritization sounds like such a simple thing, but true prioritization starts with a very difficult question to answer, especially at a company with a portfolio approach: If you could only do one thing, what would it be? And you can’t rationalize the answer, and you can’t attach the one thing to some other things. It’s just the one thing.” Steve Jobs

So, what you need to do is ask yourself the same question that Steve Jobs used:

If you could do only one thing, what would it be? 

We should always focus on the one thing we can do, on any given day, that takes us closer to success. Finished a task? Ask the same question again and make sure you are doing the next important thing.

If we continue to challenge ourselves with this question we can all ‘Be More Steve’ and be more focussed and productive with our work time.

Ok, so you have identified the top thing on your to-do list. But what if you don’t like the look of the most important task?

Eat That Frog

The most important and impactful thing you need to do may well be a task that you don’t want to do. It could be a difficult conversation you have been avoiding. Maybe it’s that deadline you keep pushing back on. There is a good chance that work that you have been avoiding is the task you most need to tackle.

If that is the case, there is a danger you will – consciously or unconsciously – employ evasion techniques to avoid doing that work. You might convince yourself that it is not really the most important thing or just allow yourself to get distracted.

Stop. Take a deep breath, hold your nose and…eat that frog!

The phrase ‘Eat that Frog’ coined by leadership guru Brian Tracy. It is the discipline of doing the unpleasant task first to get it out of the way. The rationale is that if you have to eat a frog you might as well get it over with first, and fast! The same goes for unpleasant work. There is nothing for it but to get on with it, suck it up, then move on.

The Right Questions Prioritisation Tool: Use PAD for good time-management

So prioritising is simple in theory, but it is hard to do in practice. And once you have identified your most important task it does not stop there. You have looked ahead and identified the most important tasks; now what? This is where effective prioritisation meets good time management.

Having read a lot of books and played with various techniques I have developed a system that works for me, even when juggling multiple roles and responsibilities.

To manage my time I follow the 3 steps in the PAD acronym:

• Prioritise
• Assess
• Diarise or Do

Let’s look at these in a little more detail:

1. Prioritise

First identify your priority tasks. Using something like the Eisenhower matrix, organising tasks into what is either urgent and/or important can be really helpful at this stage.

2. Assess

Once you have worked out your priority tasks you can assign an amount to each. It takes practice to accurately estimate how long an activity will take. One top tip is that I very rarely assign less than 15 minutes to any task, even if it is a simple phone call. More often I give 30 minutes to an hour for each major task. This may sound like a lot for some pieces of work but it builds in the time it takes to switch between tasks or deal with interruptions.

3. Diarise or Do

Finally, the task needs to go in the calendar, or, if it is truly both important and urgent then it should be started as soon as possible.

Top tip: use different colours for different sorts of tasks in your calendar. For example, I have different colours for each of my work roles, and others for family, fitness and other non-work priorities. This helps to achieve a balance between various priorities.

3 steps to better prioritisation and time management

So follow the 3 steps of PAD to prioritise your time. It is not just helpful practically, psychologically this is helpful too. Going through these steps brings clarity and commitment. Clarity, because the process forces you to properly define and organise what needs to be done. Commitment, because once in the calendar, it is more likely you will accomplish the goal.

PAD will help to ensure that your priority tasks get done. If you continue to use it to review your calendar (I do this on a daily basis) it will also help identify other engagements you may need to change, or tasks you need to say no to, in order to achieve your most important work.

So, the question is, now that you have read this, what is the next most important thing you need to do today?

The philosophical author David Foster Wallace said,

There is no such thing as not worshipping. Everybody worships. The only choice we get is what to worship. 

David Foster Wallace

But what did he mean and was he right?

Foster Wallace was talking about how our behaviour; our habits, decisions, and actions, are dependent upon what we believe. In other words, what we do is dependent upon our values. And to work out what we value, we need to ask some why questions.

Why are you doing that?

Why do you do behave the way you do? This sounds like a stupid question, but it is actually quite profound. Why do you do that job? What is the reason that you the leader or the follower in that situation? How come you hang out with those people? Why do you read those books?

The easy answer is usually to do with liking something or other. But that still begs the question, why do we like any one thing more than another? There is always another why. But some people do not like being asked why they act or think in a certain way.

As a parent, I am very aware that why questions can be challenging, if not downright annoying. Children love to ask why, and it can get very frustrating, especially when you just want them to do something.

But it is not the repetition that pricks us most; it is how quickly the thorny question can get to the edge of our understanding. Any parent will tell you that soon enough the answer becomes something like “that’s just the way it is.” With the answer, our ignorance, as well as our lack of patience, is exposed. But the question remains: why are things that way?

Be curious

We should all keep asking those sorts of questions. Therefore, stay curious. We do not need to be childish in our behaviour, but it is good to retain a child-like curiosity. That helps us to keep learning, keeps our sense of wonder and holds back the tide of cynicism that seeks to envelop us in our adult years.

The fact that you are reading this means that you are curious. You are intrigued to find out what I might think, what I have to say on this subject. What I find intriguing is that, even though we are likely not to have met, we are now involved in an exchange of ideas, where our beliefs, biases, and suppositions swirl together in metaphysical discourse, held in the luxurious debating chamber of your amazing mind. The very fact we can have this disembodied conversation is a wondrous thing!

There is wonder everywhere. So, remain curious. Keep asking questions. Provoke discourse.

What are values?

I like questions and, like Simon Sinek, my favourite questions are why questions. I appreciate why questions because they delve into motivation, into reason and belief. In other words, they expose the underlying values that drive purpose.

The values, exposed by why questions, are a thing of fascination to me. I have spent years examining my own values and helping others to identify theirs too.

But what are values exactly? According to the Oxford English Dictionary, values are defined as:

“Principles or standards of behaviour; one’s judgement of what is important in life.”

Lexico

This is a good starting point, but we can understand the term further through exploring this definition and the word’s synonyms:

• Values are principles. They are ideals, truths, or propositions that we aspire to.
• Values are standards. They are the formal and informal precepts, regulations, and rules we live by.
• Values are judgements. They are the benchmark, the plumbline, the compass that informs our decision-making.
• Values are beliefs. They are the tenets, convictions, and ideas we put our faith in.
• Values are priorities. They are our motivations, the things that take precedence, that we give importance to and affect how we use our resources.

So that is what values are. Of course, the next question is why are they important?

Worth-ship

Values are important because they drive our behaviour. It starts with principles shaping our thinking. Standards inform our judgements and impact our decisions. We then plan according to our beliefs and act in line with our priorities.

Those are values. And values are about value; the worth that we give something. So, what do you value the most? Where do you place your worth?

If we value something very highly, we give it worth above other things or even ultimate worth. We build our lives around it. This prioritising, giving position, reverence or regard was called worschipe in Middle English.  This evolved into the present word worship.  In other words, even if you do not consider yourself spiritual, we all give something religious value.

We cannot help it. Our time and resources in life are finite and therefore we must prioritise. Something ends up on a pedestal. It may not be a spiritual entity we put on the throne of our lives but one way or another we will take a good thing and make it a god thing.

The importance of understanding our motivations

Sometimes we are not fully conscious of what this base belief is. Or we can be tentative about sharing our motivations with others.

Either way, it is vitally important we understand what drives us. That is because there are dangers hidden in what we value. As David Foster Wallace puts it:

“If you worship money and things, if they are where you tap real meaning in life, then you will never have enough, never feel you have enough…

…worship your body and beauty and sexual allure and you will always feel ugly. And when time and age start showing, you will die a million deaths before they finally grieve you…

…worship power, you will end up feeling weak and afraid, and you will need ever more power over others to numb you to your own fear…

…worship your intellect, being seen as smart, you will end up feeling stupid, a fraud, always on the verge of being found out. 

David Foster Wallace

So, it is crucial that we know what we give ultimate worth to and ask ourselves why we value it so highly.

The reason we do things

This sort of self-exploration can be a scary journey as we can be confronted by some uncomfortable truths. Often, what we think is the reason we do something is not the actual reason. As financier J P Morgan observed,

“A man always has two reasons for what he does—a good one, and the real one.”

J P Morgan

The journey of self-discovery is an essential one.  We need to know where we place our worth because what happens when these things are challenged or even taken away? What are we left with?

Crises, such as the global pandemic, shake us and often expose the foundations of what we believe. Resilience has become the new word-du-jour, but real resilience starts in the mind and is dependent upon our values.

If what we value starts to crack under the strain of circumstances, then our lives can start to crumble around us. Therefore, we need to know if our values are vulnerable.  The only way to check is to dig down and unearth our philosophical foundations. Only then can we start any remedial works.

The 5 Whys

There are lots of thinking and coaching tools you can use to conduct this psychological survey but one very good way to start is with some reflection time and the use of a technique called The 5 Whys.

The approach was developed by Sakichi Toyoda to analyse systems within the Toyota Corporation. The result was that he helped to revolutionise their production. Every system and action in the company were analysed by asking why, over and over again, until the primary reason was revealed, and the process could be refined.

We can apply the same approach to delve down to our fundamental motivations. Try in on a decision you have made today. You can take some time out to think, write in your journal or talk this through with someone. Whatever works best for you. Answer the question as to why you made that choice. Then ask why of that answer, and continue five times, or however many you need to get to the prime reason.

For example, I might ask why I am writing this. The answer might be that because I have planned that task into my diary. But why did I plan that activity into my calendar? Well, largely it is because I enjoy writing. But why do I enjoy writing? I enjoy writing because the process helps me share personal insights. Why is that important? Because I am motivated by helping people in their own personal development. Why do I care about other people’s personal development? Because I think people have amazing potential and I love to be part of helping to unlock that.

You can see from this example that asking why of even simple everyday activities can be very insightful.

One of the great things about the 5 Whys technique is that you can use it at almost any time and in pretty much every situation. It can work well as a mindfulness technique. If you feel a certain way, ask the 5 Whys. If a thought pops into your head, ask the 5 Whys. When you make a decision, ask the 5 Whys.

The next step on your journey of self-discovery

As Foster Wallace pointed out, we all worship something. If we do not know what that is, or we pick the wrong thing then we run the risk of it undermining our happiness.

So, we need to do some self-reflection to identify what we prioritise and understand our personal values. Start by asking why. Use The 5 Whys technique to explore your thoughts, choices and actions.

Good luck on your journey of self-discovery. I promise you will be better off for it!

With the latest runner from the Star Trek stable dashing onto the screens (Star Trek Into Darkness) we are once again exposed to a famous universe and a much-loved movie relationship; that of Captain Kirk and Mr Spock. As well as providing a lot of fun, Star Trek ventures provide an opportunity to reflect upon current affairs from a different angle. They also make us think about what makes us human as well as how we make choices.

Science fiction frees us to think differently

The great thing about good science fiction is that it encourages divergent thinking. By creating alternative realities, that do not conform to the rules we live by, we are able to think differently. We can also address sensitive subjects by removing them from our present reality. When done well, science fiction brings a philosophical distance where we can look at modern-day issues through a different lens. In that way, we can challenge our assumptions. We can visit the future and think about the advantages and disadvantages of scientific advances. Whether that is technological development, for example in ‘I, Robot’, or mind-altering drugs such as in ‘A Scanner Darkly’. We can consider what life might be like if history had turned out differently and explore parallel universes as done in ‘Watchman’.

The original Star Trek series was always very much about social commentary. It looked at the big questions such as imperialism, globalisation, and racism and addressed them while trying to give a glimpse of a better future. The films took up this mantle and the latest outing explores issues such as terrorism. Although, this conversation takes place on a rollercoaster ride of action and can be lost amid the explosions!

Reason versus emotion

But as well as these political and social issues there is an interesting psychological study at the heart of the Star Trek universe. This is reflected in the characters of Captain James T. Kirk and Mr Spock. Captain Kirk is a hotheaded passionate leader who follows his heart and his gut. His approach to diplomatic liaisons or tricky tactical situations is to make quick decisions and if in doubt, to punch his way out of a situation. Mr Spock is the cold face of reason and logic; the counterpoint to Kirk in almost every way. The tension of the relationship poses questions such as who is right? Who makes the best decisions? Who is the best leader?

In some ways, the assumption or conclusion (whichever way you look at it) in the Star Trek universe is that to be truly logical is somewhat alien. In comedy terms, Spock is the ultimate straight man. The humour in Star Trek is frequently displayed in Spock’s inability to think something is funny or to be engaged emotionally. Kirk on the other hand shows us that to be human is to be passionate. He can be somewhat irrational but that this human trait can be a strength as much as a weakness. If leaders have no passion – and therefore no sense of conviction behind their actions – then do we value their decisions? After all, the choices we tend to respect (if we are affected by the decision) are ones that elevate people. And we have to be emotional, we have to care, to make those sorts of choices.

An important lesson

So the Star Trek example of Kirk and Spock is something we should all remember. Logic is very important but it is our emotions that differentiate us as human. Our motivation, values and intuition are critical parts of our decision making; ones that can be an advantage if they are understood and held in balance. This is true even if we are applying a logical decision-making process; we can never separate ourselves from our passions.