What is the best time to start towards our goal? How should we judge the right timing? When is the best time to act?

It is no surprise that the ‘when’ question in The Right Questions refers to time. Timing is critical, as time is the one truly limited resource, but selecting the right time to do something is not straightforward. Good timing makes the difference between success and failure but ideal timing is hard to achieve. It takes an equal measure of planning and wisdom to know when to implement strategies, to go for goals and ultimately achieve a mission.

Therefore we have to answer:

• What are we going to invest our time in?
• How much of our time should we invest?
• When is the best time to do so?

Knowing when to move and how much time to invest in something is the secret of perfect timing.

“You may delay, but time will not.”

Benjamin Franklin

What should you spend your time doing?

Knowing what to spend your time on is a matter of prioritisation. You have to know what is the most important thing to do. To do that you have to understand why you even want to do something in the first place. If you are unsure then I recommend you read the following post on finding your values.

Once that you know why you are wanting to do something you can confirm what is the best thing to do. It may be that you already have a goal in mind.

Application of time: the discipline of practice

We would all like quick success but our biggest dreams will take considerable time and a lot of hard work to achieve. One wise person once told me that people overestimate what they can achieve in one year and underestimate what they can achieve in five or ten years. I have found this to be true.

Don’t underestimate the cumulative effect of applied time. Investors understand the power of compound interest when it comes to money. The same applies to the time we invest in something, including our personal development. If we continue to invest our time wisely and with focus then we can achieve great things.

Malcolm Gladwell in Outliers: The Story of Success did a study that explored the lives of many of the world’s most successful people and looked at the patterns behind their achievements.  One large theme prevails: that it takes a concerted application of time to achieve anything truly great.  Gladwell estimates that it requires 10,000 hours of quality practice to become an expert at one given thing or become world-class in a particular field.  The key point here is not so much the 10,000 hours but the idea of effective or deliberate practice, something explained in detail by Robert Pool and Anders Ericsson in Peak: Secrets from the new science of expertise.

Deliberate practice:

• Develops skills using a proven training techniques
• Stretches the comfort zone; being just on the verge of one’s ability
• Is based on specific, well-defined goals (both overall and for each practice)
• Is purposeful and specifically focuses on those specific goals
• Is a learning cycle reflective of Kolb’s model, where the concrete experience of practice leads to reflective observation, new abstract conceptualisation (mental representations) of what is being learned, followed by modification and active experimentation to get further feedback, and so the cycle continues.

So we not only make good habits and routines, but we then, through deliberate practice, make sure that the time we put in has the maximum impact and effect.

The Quest

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Counting the opportunity cost

If we are going to be that focused and invest our resources in one particular way we are going to have to count the cost.  For every outlay of time or money there is an opportunity cost; the cost of not investing our resources somewhere else.  In other words when we choose to do one thing, by default we choose to not do various other things.

You can become good at almost anything, but you cannot be good at everything.

We watch sports stars, standing on a podium receiving their gold medal at the moment of glory.  What we don’t see is the years of training, the sweat and tears spent hour after hour, day after day, invested in the dream of that moment, in the winning of the prize.  How many days and evenings out with friends were sacrificed?  What number of holidays were foregone?  Which alternative careers were declined?  You can be sure that the opportunity cost was high.

There is no easy or quick win but through the right application of time, we can create our own perfect timing.  The fulfilment of a vision is going to take time and hard work.  That is why we need a dream to compel us, a mission to focus upon, and a passion to spur us forward, no matter what the obstacles are that lie in the way.  If we have that level of compulsion we can make the investment of time that is needed to succeed.

“Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.”

Tim Notke

Choosing the right time

Our time is finite; once spent we cannot claim it back.  Therefore we need to be careful about how we spend it and when we spend it.  Application is needed over the course of time to achieve success, but also there is often also a key moment to play the high stakes if you want to win big.

“I am building a fire, and every day I train, I add more fuel. At just the right moment, I light the match.” 

Mia Hamm, Olympic gold-medal soccer player

You can invest the same amount of money in the stock market for a given amount of time, but when you choose to invest, re-invest or spend that money will make a big difference to whether you gain or lose money.

A marathon may take hours to run, so for an athlete, choosing the correct moment in the race to dig deep and close down the front runner could make the difference to between winning and losing.

Picking the ideal time is vital in maximising our effect and fulfilling our potential.

Creating the conditions for perfect timing

What a casual observer might call serendipity or synchronicity, those involved in a successful venture would call the careful aligning of positive factors – however seemingly unrelated – to bring about a positive outcome. Successful people create conditions for perfect timing.

Steve Jobs, the late CEO of Apple, was a master of this. It would seem that he was fortunate to launch products just when people needed them.  The iPod, the iPhone and the iPad have all helped redefine the market for gadgets and made Apple a world leader in mobile technology.  But it was no chance.  Steve Jobs knew that you made your own luck, your own perfect timing. He produced a quality product but he also stirred people’s perceived need for his creations.  The genius of Steve Jobs was that he did not do what his customers wanted; he did what they were going to want.  Purchasers never quite knew what they needed until they had one, but upon owning an Apple product they were left unsure how they managed without one before.

Practice, patience and poise

It needs to be the right moment as even a good idea can fail because of bad timing. For example, there are good and bad times to change one’s career or launch a business.  Everything has its season.

Equally some visions are ahead of their time.  Leonardo de Vinci designed the revolving flying machine that preceded the invention of the helicopter by 400 years.  We just have to hope that our dreams do not take so long to come to fulfilment!

It takes discipline as well as wisdom to seize the moment.  Like a vigilant soldier, we need practice, patience and poise; practice to ensure we have all the preparation we need, patience to wait and poise in order to strike at the right moment.

How do you know when the time is right?

To have the best chance of creating the right conditions and picking the ideal time we have to be sure of where we are ultimately headed, of what we are doing and why. That is the reason that the ‘why, where and what’ questions of The Right Questions approach create the strategic framework within which we make our plans.

So what is the perfect timing for achieving your goal?

“Life is all about timing… the unreachable becomes reachable, the unavailable become available, the unattainable… attainable. Have the patience, wait it out. It’s all about timing.”

Stacey Charter

We have already seen, in the section on values, that our principles are at our centre and act as a compass to help guide us.  This guidance becomes very practical in decision-making as our values help us prioritise.

Living in an age of choice

Being able to prioritise well, and therefore able to make effective decisions, is of ever-increasing importance today.  Never before has there been so much information or so many choices for us to wade through on a daily basis.

In former times, people (especially academics) were valued for what they knew; the experts in their field were the gatekeepers to knowledge on any given subject area.  But that power base has been somewhat eroded in recent years and the value of being a person who just ‘knows things’ has been diminished.  What is the main reason for that?  In short: the Internet.  In the age of the Internet, we have more information at our fingertips than ever before in the history of mankind.

We also have more choice than ever before.  A supermarket is a dangerous place to go without a plan.  Even with two simple staples, rice and sugar, you could fill a whole trolley with the various alternatives on offer in the aisles.  When you go into a coffee shop you can no longer simply ask for a coffee; such a statement would bring consternation for the barista, impatience for other customers and shame for you!  We all know that we need to practise our order while in the queue. We need to say “extra-large-double-shot-skinny-soya-latte to go” with confidence!

Analysis paralysis

But all this choice and information presents a new challenge; people are overloaded with information and paralysed by the number of choices available.  The challenge today is not about knowing things so much as knowing how to sift, analyse and usefully apply the tornado of data that sweeps around us.  Want a lesson in irony?  Type ‘information overload’ into a search engine and see how many results it churns out in a fraction of a second!

“Getting information off the Internet is like taking a drink from a fire hydrant.”  Mitch Kapor

Our values aid us in the battle against information overload and potential analysis paralysis.  This is important as time is spent over decisions and there is an opportunity cost even just in deciding to spend time deliberating an option.  Many people today will spend hours pouring over the next gadget to buy and yet fail to give time to decisions that really matter.

The Quest

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Making good decisions

Making a decision also relieves stress.  The number of decisions we need to make, coupled with the importance of many of these decisions, can put us under real pressure.  By reducing the number of decisions we have to make and actually committing, we can release pressure and reduce our stress levels. Introducing pre-planned systems, processes and delegation can also help.

“Good is the enemy of Great” Jim Collins

One of the challenges that make decisions hard is that we are generally choosing between several good things. It is not just a choice between one good and one bad thing.  This brings in a new challenge. As Jim Collins points out, the ‘good can be the enemy of the great’. Our limited time and resources can be used up on lots of good things but we could still end up missing the best thing.

Therefore prioritising is of critical importance. If we are going to achieve our best then we are going to have to make the right decisions. Our values will help to guide us and if you want help working out your values read:

What Are Your Personal Values?

What you prioritise, in your work and your leisure time, is important. It has a cumulative effect – for good or ill – over time. Therefore identifying and setting your priorities is key.

Every day we make decisions that reflect our values and priorities in life. Where we choose to spend our resources of time, energy and money reflect what we think is valuable.

What does it mean to have priorities?

I started playing the guitar in my teens but I had never really improved beyond a certain (and fairly basic) level.  Why? Quite simply it was because I never practised enough.  It was not that I did not like playing the guitar; it was just that I enjoyed other things more.

In my dreams, I could play like Jimi Hendrix.  In my mind’s eye, I could see myself saving the day at a gig, strolling onto the stage to replace an injured lead guitarist and stunning my friends with amazing solos, my fingers a blur on the fretboard!  But there was a big difference between successful guitarists and me. That difference went beyond just raw talent (of which I had very little).

Guitar legends such as Jimi Hendrix or Eric Clapton would pick a guitar up at the beginning of the day and would hardly put it down until they went to bed; it is like an extension of their body.  I rarely picked mine up at all.  When practising I got frustrated or bored pretty quickly. If I had the choice between practising for an hour or going to the gym I would generally choose the latter.

I realised that I did not have the motivation to be the guitarist I dreamed of being because I did not value it enough.  It turned out that this dream was not one worth pursuing.  Therefore, because I needed time to invest in other things I decided to sell my guitars and properly pursue other dreams.  I did not want the good to be the enemy of the great.

How do you set your priorities?

How do you prioritise your time? Which things should you do and which things should you avoid? What principles or tools do you use to help you with prioritising?

Think about pastimes for a moment.  How many things do you enjoy in your leisure time?  I enjoy doing lots of different things: writing, reading, watching films, drawing, listening to music, keeping fit, playing sports and many more things besides.  As time has gone on and more pressures are applied to my time I decided to take a good look at how I invested the finite time that I have.  It was at this point I realised that there is no such thing as free time; you can spend it at will but you cannot pay to get any more, let alone claim a free top-up.

So I decided I needed to be more focused on how I spent my time. There were several things I read that particularly helped me here. Here are three recommended resources.

The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

Firstly I read Stephen Covey’s book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. This has a really practical way of prioritising tasks depending on their urgency and importance (also referred to as the Eisenhower Matrix).  When analysing our time management it can be scary to see how much we spend on unimportant and non-urgent tasks. This can be surfing the web, or reading seemingly urgent (yet unimportant) emails that keep popping into our inbox.  This challenged me so much that I now do not keep my email application open. I check it a maximum of a couple of times a day and prioritise the mail before I respond. I also turn off a lot of notifications on apps.

The Pareto Principle

Secondly, I read about the 80-20 rule, also known as the Pareto principle. This states that generally, 20% of our efforts produce 80% of the results.  In other words, in business, 80% of profits come from 20% of your work. On the negative side, it is likely that 80% of your complaints come from 20% of your clients!  Therefore, by identifying the most useful 20% of what we do (and who we work with) we can maximise that. By reinforcing success we can multiply what we can achieve. By cutting the dross we can also be more efficient.

Outliers: The Story of Success

Thirdly I read Anders Ericsson’s study (referred to in Malcolm Gladwell’s book Outliers: The Story of Success) that proposed that becoming really good at anything was more a matter of time than anything else, and around 10,000 hours of effective application was needed to excel at something (by the way, that equates to about 20 hours a week for 10 years – no small investment of time).  I decided that I needed to identify my most effective gifts, time and tasks and concentrate on them.  One simple application of this was how I use my day.  My most productive time is in the morning, between breakfast and lunch.  That is when I plan to do the bulk of my ‘productive’ tasks such as writing.  The afternoon I reserve primarily for meetings, emails and things that require (for me) a slightly lower level of energy and concentration.

The Quest

Understand your values, unlock your purpose, set your priorities, achieve success. Click here to sign up and get the 1st stage for free!

Prioritisation Techniques

From my reading there are several prioritisation techniques and tools that I have adopted. I have written other posts about the ones I use most. You can read them by following the links below:

The Eisenhower Matrix

The SWOT Analysis

Values are central; they go to the very core of us, to our personal identity.  Our principles are perhaps the most important things as, whether or not we live out our dream or achieve our mission, they are most likely to remain intact. Values are a foundation and a plumb line as well as a moral compass.

“We are not in control, principles control. We control our actions, but the consequences that flow from these actions are controlled by Principles.”  Stephen R. Covey

Our decisions and actions flow from our principles and in this way our values help to define us; they are part of our identity.  Our exploration and discovery of our principles is therefore a discovery of self.  As one anonymous observer noted: “Every one of us has in him a continent of undiscovered character.  Blessed is he who acts the Columbus to his own soul.”

So what do we know about our own identity?  What do we value in ourselves and others?

Think about the first two questions you are generally asked when you meet someone.  If you are from the UK, the US or a large part of the world it is likely to be “what is your name?” (usually meaning your first name) quickly followed by “what do you do?”

What are people really asking when they enquire about what you do?  They are asking about your job, profession or vocation for sure.  But the fact that this comes out so quickly when we meet people indicates how highly we rate work in our culture and how closely we identify ourselves with what we do.  When people ask what you do they are actually asking who you are.  They are hoping for an answer that will help them quickly categorise you.

What do you do?

I went along with this for many years because, for a long time, it was easy.  I started out as an Army Officer working as a bomb disposal expert.  This was an easy title, and one I enjoyed using, as it sounded impressive.  I enjoyed seeing the raised eyebrows and the endearing look of respect (that I so little deserved in reality).  Next, I was a Project Manager, working in the construction industry.  Again an easy label, although I must admit it sounded less impressive at parties than something with ‘Bomb’ in the title.  But hey, I was married by then so who was I trying to impress anyway?  Well everyone actually!

The real challenge came with my next job, working for a rapidly growing church.  My job description was constantly evolving and therefore it was hard to describe exactly what I did, especially as I was not actually a church minister.  I found that introducing myself generally required a long explanation.  The process of outlining what I did was just long enough to watch people’s eyes glaze over, stare down their drinks or look furtively towards the exit.

When I moved on again and started working as a management consultant it was not really any easier, as the title ‘consultant’ invokes so many different things.   You may be motivated by helping individuals and equipping organisations, but one has a lot of justification to do when people look at you with an expression that seems to imply ‘consultant’ is synonymous with ‘parasite’!

Training dolphins to be government assassins

And then, at one networking event, I had a moment of clarity.  I started introducing myself in this way: “Hi, I’m Simon, I train dolphins to be government assassins.”  Once again I had attained the level of eyebrow movement that I have attained as a bomb disposal officer (but I guess more out of surprise than respect).  Life was easy once again (for a moment at least) but it did make me think. Why do people, including me, care so much about titles?  Why would I be prepared to embellish or even make up something about what I do? What does it say about me? The answers to these questions are pretty challenging.

Are we just what we do?

If asked about your identity, like me, you may not initially answer beyond your name and job but of course, there is much more to us than that.  One way we can discover something more about our identity is by what we think when we look at other people.  As we walk down a street, enter a room or sit staring out of a café window we are constantly assessing those around us.  We compare looks, wealth, car, house, job, children, happiness, clothes, phone.  In conversation, this process continues through things like accent, vocabulary, demeanour, politics, religion, aspirations and education.

Of course, much of what we first think is not real; we try to make a value judgement in a fleeting moment, judging the book by its cover.  Not surprisingly this process actually tells us more about us than about the other person, because how we classify others speaks volumes about how we perceive ourselves.  If we are putting someone else in a certain box or on a certain level what does that say about our position?  I for one did not think I had a pride problem until I thought about this!

Even this internal classification can be somewhat misleading.  We all have roles that we play and we often wear masks that represent an aspirational self, the person we want to show to the world, rather than the real us.  But even if this ideal self is not the true self we can learn more of ourselves. This is because even if we are aspiring to be something or someone else it once again reveals what we value.

The Quest

Understand your values, unlock your purpose, set your priorities, achieve success. Click here to sign up and get the 1st stage for free!

What is your worldview? What are your beliefs?

Work, position, pension, benefits package and job title can be important to us.  Our perception of our perfect partner, spouse and family can be the more presentable faces of simple base motivators.  Money, sex and power have always been identified as strong drivers, even if they are hidden under more subtle layers of respectability.  Our identity can also be wrapped up in more ethereal things.  Our worldview, philosophy, faith or politics can define us because they affect the way we live.

None of these things needs to be necessarily good or bad in themselves, but for everything we prioritise we need to ask why we care about it so that we can understand it further and get under the skin of our thinking.  We need to be aware of the things around which we construct our lives.  We need to be certain of the foundation we are building upon.

Worth-ship

If we value something very highly we give it worth above other things or even ultimate worth. We build our lives around it. This prioritising, giving position, reverence or regard was called ‘worschipe’ in Middle English.  Today its name is ‘worship’.  In other words, even if you do not consider yourself religious we all give something religious value.

Here is some insight from the influential writer David Foster Wallace on the subject:

“Because here’s something else that’s weird but true: in the day-to-day trenches of adult life, there is actually no such thing as atheism. There is no such thing as not worshipping. Everybody worships. The only choice we get is what to worship.

And the compelling reason for maybe choosing some sort of god or spiritual-type thing to worship — be it JC or Allah, bet it YHWH or the Wiccan Mother Goddess, or the Four Noble Truths, or some inviolable set of ethical principles — is that pretty much anything else you worship will eat you alive.”

The Importance of knowing where your priorities and values lie

David Foster Wallace then goes on to illustrate the dangers we face:

“If you worship money and things, if they are where you tap real meaning in life, then you will never have enough, never feel you have enough. It’s the truth. Worship your body and beauty and sexual allure and you will always feel ugly. And when time and age start showing, you will die a million deaths before they finally grieve you. On one level, we all know this stuff already. It’s been codified as myths, proverbs, clichés, epigrams, parables; the skeleton of every great story. The whole trick is keeping the truth upfront in daily consciousness.

Worship power, you will end up feeling weak and afraid, and you will need ever more power over others to numb you to your own fear. Worship your intellect, being seen as smart, you will end up feeling stupid, a fraud, always on the verge of being found out. But the insidious thing about these forms of worship is not that they’re evil or sinful, it’s that they’re unconscious. They are default settings.

They’re the kind of worship you just gradually slip into, day after day, getting more and more selective about what you see and how you measure value without ever being fully aware that that’s what you’re doing.”

We may not believe in God but we all choose to give something ultimate worth and choose to build our lives around it. It is important that we know what that thing is and ask ourselves why we value it so highly.

Digging down to our principles

Self-exploration can be a scary journey but it is an essential one.  We need to know about our principles because what happens when these things are challenged or even taken away? What are we left with?  Are our values vulnerable?  If they come under attack could everything else come tumbling down?  We face long-term insecurity if our values are unreliable or temporal things, even if they are good things such as people or helpful things such as possessions.

So what are your values? How do they affect your identity? I would encourage you to take some time out to reflect seriously on these questions.

You can explore these questions and discover more about your own values by reading: What are your personal values?

“Men go abroad to wonder at the heights of mountains, at the huge waves of the sea, at the long courses of the rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motions of the stars, and they pass by themselves without wondering.”  St. Augustine

What next?

You may want also want some help, delving deeper into your values and identifying your goals. I have the pleasure of seeing amazing, positive, transformations in the individuals and organisations I work with. If you would like some assistance too, in person or online, then please do drop me a line. You can email me via the contact page.

When was the last time you made a decision? It was probably when you decided to click on the link and read this article! So, what decision-making approach did you use? How much time did you think about it? One way or another you just experienced a decision-making process. And that was but one of perhaps hundreds of decisions you have made already today.

What is decision-making?

Put simply, decision-making is the process of considering, and making a choice between, various courses of action.

A decision can be defined as:

“Come or bring to a resolution in the mind as a result of consideration.”

or

“Make a choice from a number of alternatives.”

Lexico (Oxford English Dictionary)

Decision-making can be further defined as:

“The action or process of making important decisions.”

Lexico (Oxford English Dictionary)

But even these definitions, though useful, can be misleading as many of the decisions we make every day are unconscious. Also, we apply process – of sorts – even to non-important decisions.

Decision-making is constant

Decision-making is a process, but it is actually something we do constantly. Whether we are conscious of the process or not, we are faced with a multitude of decisions to make every day. Estimates vary as to exactly how many, but, researcher Sheena Iyengar did studies of US adults showing they made around 70 conscious decisions on a daily basis.

And there are higher estimates. Researchers at Cornell University have shown that we make 226.7 decisions each day on just food alone (Wansink and Sobal, 2007). I am guessing my .7 decision was when I nearly had that extra cup of coffee…

And that is just for choices about food! Think about all the other decisions we have to make. For example, even as I type I am making a constant string of choices of which words to use in order to express what I want to say.

Some online sources estimate that we make around 35,000 decisions a day. This estimate is based on the number of thoughts we have per second. This is not an exact measure by any means. But, what is certain, is that we have to make loads of decisions! Many of these choices are conscious ones, and these require some sort of applied process.

“Time is like a river that carries us forward into encounters with reality that require us to make decisions. We can’t stop our movement down this river and we can’t avoid those encounters. We can only approach them in the best possible way.”

Ray Dalio

The Paralysis of Analysis

Have you ever stood in a supermarket and stared for an age, weighing up a choice between similar items?

Most of us will have experienced this kind of analysis paralysis to one level or another. It happens when the choice is too great, alternatives too similar or the choice is outside of our usual frame of reference. To avoid this paralysis we often rely on heuristics – simple decision-making tools, rules or hacks – to help us make informed decisions. For example, we might prefer one particular brand or product and just pick that so we don’t have to give it too much thought. This can be an effective heuristic – to save us time, ensure quality or save money.

Using Heuristics

But, knowing about psychology, it is also these sorts of biases and heuristics that marketing experts love to exploit. To understand more on this subject then I recommend you read Daniel Kahneman’s acclaimed book Thinking Fast and Slow. Kahneman is recognised as the world leader in understanding heuristics and bias.

As Kahneman demonstrates in his research, most decisions we make are actually unconscious ones. It would take too long to use a process or explore the pros and cons of every decision. We can risk paralysis by analysis if we spend too much time on a decision, as we can become overloaded by information.

Some decisions are relatively unimportant. This could include choosing which clothes to wear, what to eat for lunch or what to watch on television. For these decisions, simple heuristics – even flipping a coin or rolling dice – can be effective.

Some decisions are much more important, such as the choice of spouse, partner, career or work. Similarly, large purchases, such as buying a property, are significant decisions. We instinctively know that we should take more time and effort over the more important decisions. The problem is that we do not necessarily understand how we make decisions. Nor do we have the tools to help us make the best choice. So how can we do it better?

The Quest

Understand your values, unlock your purpose, set your priorities, achieve success. Click here to sign up and get the 1st stage for free!

How do we make decisions?

What was the last big decision you made and how did you make it?

We often think of decision making as a rational process where we engage our logic to solve a problem. But decision making is actually not just problem analysis (although they are linked). Also, a lot of decision making is influenced more by emotion than by logic.

This is not necessarily a bad thing. Our emotions are very important and employing them does not necessarily make a choice irrational. Emotions and passions are connected to our experiences, preferences and values.

If we were purely rational we would operate according to Rational Choice Theory. This means we would always make the choice that offers the best statistical chance of success or reward. However various scientific studies have shown that this is not the case. We are not purely rational and can be heavily influenced, by ourselves, others and circumstances to make quite irrational decisions.

The psychology of decision-making

People don’t realise that they often influence and even fool themselves. Hugo Mercier and Dan Sperber published a paper in 2011 that concluded we use our reason and logic, not to get to the truth or to make good decisions, but primarily to strengthen our position and persuade other people that we are right. This is confirmation bias, where we selectively choose data that supports our decision. This is just one example of cognitive bias.

Our circumstances also play a large part in our decision making especially if we are in stressful conditions. At the extreme level, we could be affected by the ‘fight, flight or freeze’ responses first outlined by Walter Bradford Cannon. These physiological responses have a direct influence on our psychology and may even completely override our conscious decision-making capacity.

Other people can also bias our decisions. This could be simple peer pressure or more manipulative influence employed by an individual. Our psychology can be exploited. As mentioned earlier, salespeople used have long understood this, hence strategies such as creating the idea of scarcity or advertising using subliminal suggestion and product placement.

The psychology of decision making is a fascinating and growing field. If you would like to dig deeper into the subject, take a look at The top 10 books on decision-making and thinking.

What is a decision making process?

Being aware of the influences we have is very important if we want to make good decisions. Decision-making processes can help us as they encourage us to take a step back from our situation and assess it more objectively. This will not eliminate bias but it will help.

Decision-making processes also seek to identify the stages needed to make a decision so we can follow through on a choice in a logical manner. One common breakdown of the steps is shown below:

The 7 steps to a decision-making process

1. Outline the goal or outcome/analyse the problem
2. Gather data/consider factors
3. Develop alternatives/courses of action
4. Consider the pros and cons of each alternative
5. Make the decision
6. Implement the decision/take action
7. Learn from the decision

To some level, most people apply a decision-making process at some time, even if they don’t call it by that name. Making a list of the pros and cons of a decision is one of the simplest and most common decision-making processes. Related to this is the setting of priorities or by reducing choices by process of elimination.

One process we employ is giving our decision making to people and things. Acquiescing responsibility for a decision, as we do to our elected politicians, or delegating decision making to subordinates is a decision making process. Flipping a coin is a way of acquiescing responsibility to fate or probability (depending upon your view of the world) whereas there is also an increasing array of software that we can also use to support our decision making, or even to make decisions for us.

Why are decision making processes important?

How much training have you had, specifically on decision-making?

Despite the importance of decision making and the general awareness of decision-making processes, very few organisations put much time and training into teaching people how to make better decisions. We gain a certain amount of critical thinking and problem analysis through our formal education but few people feel properly prepared to make important decisions in their work, especially when they may need to defend their position, demonstrate their rationale and persuade others to follow a decision.

Many existing processes within organisations support decision making. For example, a tender process, where bids from vendors are received and reviewed, is a decision-making process. This sort of selection process takes into account factors important to a contract, such as cost, quality and the track record of a company. Voting in a meeting is another simple process. It is a democratic heuristic, testing not only how people think or feel about an idea but also then putting pressure on others to support a decision once votes are cast.

Teaching decision making

But few people – including leaders – are taught decision-making skills that can be used more generally. There are a few institutions that have recognised the importance of teaching tools and processes to their decision-makers, in order to equip them to make informed choices. The military and the medical profession are key examples of this. This is because those with responsibility in these professions are dealing with life and death decisions, often made under highly stressful and emotionally charged situations. In these careers, where people are held accountable for such weighty choices it is no surprise that a lot of thinking has gone into good decision making.

The Military Decision Making Process of the United States Army) and the UK Military Combat Estimate Process (known as the Seven Questions are examples of these sorts of tools that share much in common and reflect the seven steps outlined above.

But the challenge I bring to leaders in all walks of life is this: even if a decision you make is not likely to be life or death, it can still radically affect the quality of people’s lives, as well as the success and profitability of an organisation. So is it any less important to make good decisions in other spheres of work?

What decision making processes are there to use?

The good news is, that even if you have not had formal decision-making training, there is help available. There are plenty of robust decision-making processes and tools around, it is just choosing the best one for you, your team and your situation.

A good starting point is understanding decision making at its most basic and for this I would recommend looking at the OODA loop. OODA stands for ‘Observe, Orientate, Decide, Act’ and you can learn more about it in my post on The OODA Loop Decision Making Cycle.

My experience as a Bomb Disposal Officer, leadership coach and management consultant led me to develop my own decision-making process that I dubbed ‘The Right Questions’. This is a simple tool that uses the interrogative words of the English language as prompts for the steps you need to take and questions you need to ask when making decisions. You can find out more by reading The Right Questions Framework Guide.

Is decision making just for leaders?

Decision making is becoming of increasing importance to those not in traditional leadership roles. Organisations are becoming less hierarchical in structure and in today’s fluid and fast moving work place the best employees are those who can take the initiative, make and act upon good decisions.

Therefore everyone can benefit from understanding more about the way we make decisions and from learning simple decision making processes.

And as we have seen, good decision making is not just important in the work place. We all have to make decisions that affect the direction of our lives. This is why as a coach I have found that processes, such as The Right Questions, can be equally as helpful in exploring the bigger questions of life.

Where are you heading? What do you want to achieve? How are you planning to get there?

If you are interest in exploring these questions at a personal level then just subscribe to my newsletter and you will get a free goal setting workbook and personal action plan. Just sign up here!

Taking things further

You may want also want some help, improving your decision-making and becoming more effective at achieving your goals. I have the pleasure of seeing amazing, positive, transformations in the individuals and organisations I work with. If you would like some assistance too, in person or online, then please do drop me a line. You can email me via the contact page.

I look forward to hearing from you!

The Best Prioritizing and Time Management Tools: The Eisenhower Matrix

Do you want to get better at time management and setting priorities? Most of us do and fortunately there are some simple tools and approaches that can help us become more effective at making decisions. The Eisenhower Matrix is one such tool.

What is the Eisenhower Matrix?

The Eisenhower matrix is so named because the original concept is accredited to US President Dwight D. Eisenhower. I first came across the concept of the Eisenhower matrix in Stephen Covey’s book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, it helped me see ‘to-do’ lists in a whole new way and I have used the system ever since. The Eisenhower matrix is a prioritization tool and therefore a good basis for a time management system. It is most commonly used for business prioritization and project management but is just as good for personal time management and is actually best when used to consider everything you do in life, not just work tasks.

I love the Eisenhower matrix as, similarly to the SWOT analysis it is simple, highly effective and based around a four-quadrant matrix that is easy to remember and use.

Time management is vitally important

Time is our most precious resource. This is not a new idea, some of the oldest phrases that we use are related to time, such as: tempus fugit, time flies; or carpe diem, seize the day.

I asked my boss if I could leave half an hour early the other day. 


He said, ” Only if you make up the time.”


I said, ” OK. It’s 35 past 50.”

Time is finite, but even though we cannot create more time we can become better at time management and make more effective use of the time that we have. We do this but prioritizing things, in other words by putting ‘first things first’ and making sure we focus on what is most important at any given time and then putting our energies and resources behind those activities.

Prioritizing is key to effective time management

Prioritizing is key to better productivity, efficiency and effectiveness. Communication and change happen so fast now that you could work around the clock just to keep up with the millions of demands that are fighting for your attention. Email and social media are particularly good at swallowing our time if we are not careful, especially in the age of smart phones that means that we can be connected to the internet and our inbox pretty much anywhere in the world.

The problem is that it is not always that easy to prioritize the things we have to do and that is why it is very helpful to have a prioritization tool to help us. This is where the Eisenhower Matrix comes in.

“The importance of time largely depends upon which side of the bathroom door you are on.”

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Are tasks important or urgent?

“What is important is seldom urgent and what is urgent is seldom important.” Dwight D. Eisenhower

The Eisenhower matrix works by asking two simple questions of any task we could undertake. The questions are:

• Is it important?
• Is it urgent?

By answering yes or no to these questions we come up with a four quadrant matrix that divides tasks into those that are:

1. Important and urgent – things we need to do now

2. Important and not urgent – things we need to plan to do

3. Urgent but not important – things we should try and delegate

4. Not urgent and not important – things we should avoid doing

This process is helpful as it is very easy to waste time on unimportant tasks or to become distracted. Putting our to-do list through the Eisenhower matrix allows us to be much more focused and productive.

Working out whether something is urgent or not is relatively easy as something that has a time dependent nature is usually self-evident.

It can be harder to work out what is truly important. What we consider important is strongly linked to what we value – and therefore to a degree it is subjective – but there are some things that generally fall in the ‘important’ box.

Some common tasks are listed in the diagram below and this can be used as something of a template for your own to-do list.

How to use the Eisenhower Matrix

To use the Eisenhower method, follow these steps:

1. List: Take a few minutes now to brainstorm and note down the things you have to do
2. Analyse: check the importance, ask:
   • What would happen if the task was not completed?
   • Can the task be delegated?
3. Assess: check the urgency, ask:
   • Does the task have to be done in the next 48 hrs? If so it’s urgent.
4. Assign: Now you have sorted the tasks, assign them to the different quadrants, listed in priority order
5. Schedule: Put the tasks into your diary or planner. Put time in the diary not only for the urgent-important tasks but also plan ahead for the quadrant two tasks and make a plan for how and when you are going to delegate the third quadrant tasks.
6. Action: Start to work through the tasks in priority order
7. Review: Update and re-assess the priorities regularly (for example once a day)

Want to learn more about time management?

If you want to find out some more about time management and increase your productivity then there are some other good resources you can look to.

As I mentioned previously the Eisenhower matrix is a time management tool that Stephen Covey refers to in his book ‘The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People’. I rate this as being in the top ten management and leadership books that I have ever read; it transformed the way I work. You can get a copy by clicking on the image:

Timothy Ferriss – entrepreneur, speaker and author – addresses time management in his book, The 4-Hour Work Week. Tim is particularly good at applying the 80:20 rule (the Pareto Principle) and he takes time management and outsourcing to the extreme to show how you can achieve a four-hour work week, but you benefit from his life hacks whatever life-work balance you are striving for. You can get a copy here:

You can read more posts on time management and prioritization here:

Three Essential Principles for Prioritisation and Good Decision Making

What resolution could you make for this next year that, if you were successful in making the change, would really improve your life?

Do you want to give up smoking? Maybe you want to go on a diet, lose some weight and get into shape? Perhaps you want to learn a language? It could be that you want to achieve a better work-life balance, change careers or start a new pastime.

Whatever it is you that want to achieve, you need to do some thinking if you want your resolution to stick and you want to succeed in your goal. Here are some questions that you can ask in order to make your decision more effective.

Why do you want to make the resolution?

What is driving your decision? Why do you want to make a change? Understanding why we want to do something helps us to establish our motivation. This is important, as we need to really value something if we are going to succeed. If we are going to make a change, especially something that will be a challenge, then we need to prioritise it. The first couple of days after making your decision are likely to be the easiest, as you are carried along by your enthusiasm. After that, it gets harder and when it does you will start to question why you made that particular choice in the first place. Spend some time writing down the answers to the ‘why’ question. This will help fix the answers in your mind and remind you of their importance when things get tough.

Where do you see yourself when you achieve your goal? 

What are you dreaming of? What is the picture of the thing you want to achieve? Being able to envision the endpoint is a very important psychological aid to success. If you want to change your career then maybe the picture in your minds-eye is of you walking into your ideal workplace for the first day of your new job. If you want to learn a language the dream might be you ordering a meal for some friends in another country. Whatever it is, make that picture real to you. Use your imagination to make the colours bright, the sounds loud, the smells and tastes inviting, and you will be consciously and subconsciously drawn towards that idea.

What is your definition of success?

How will you know when you have achieved your purpose? What is the finish line? As well as having a dream it is important to identify the exact parameters for success so you have something definite to aim for. This is often called a mission statement and it should be something short, memorable and clear in meaning. For example, if you wanted to get in better shape your mission could be “To lose ten pounds in weight” or “To run a half-marathon”. However you craft your mission statement, make sure that your terms are specific, so you will be certain when you have fulfilled them.

How will you achieve your aim?

Once you have defined what you want to achieve, you then need to work out how you are going to do it. In other words, you need a plan. One simple way to make a plan is to break down your goal into several smaller tasks. For instance, if you are learning a language – even in just three to six months – it can be hard to measure your progress. Therefore you can set smaller steps that feel more tangible; such as learning ten new words a day or setting yourself a week to finish a particular section of your course. You can then note these steps down in a journal, or on a calendar, and you have a plan. Writing the tasks down in a to-do list will also give you the satisfaction of ticking each thing off as you achieve it. This will help to reinforce your motivation.

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Who can help you with your decision?

Who can you speak to that has the experience or skills to help you succeed? There could be someone you know who has already done the thing you want to do. Alternatively, you might just want someone you trust who can support you in your goal. It may be that you want a person outside your normal network such as a professional coach. Whether the person you choose is an expert or not, winning through is much easier if you are accountable to someone else. As soon as you have made your resolution share your decision with another person. Give that person permission to regularly challenge you on how you are doing. If they know you well they will recognise how best to encourage you: whether that is a kind word or a kick up the backside!

When do you want to achieve your aim?

The New Year feels like a time of new beginnings and is opportune for making decisions. As well as picking a good time to make a resolution it is also worthwhile thinking about when you want to complete your goal. A whole year is perhaps too big a time frame, so it is worth identifying something shorter and breaking the goal into smaller tasks if necessary. For example, if you wanted to quit smoking then your mission could be “To not purchase, accept or smoke a single cigarette for the next forty days.” This statement gives clear parameters (not to purchase, accept or smoke a cigarette) as well as a timed measure of success; here being forty days. Forty days may sound arbitrary but studies have shown that you can establish a new habit in twenty to forty days. In other words, if you can create a new pattern in life for that long, there is a good chance that you will have established a more permanent change.

Which things will stop you from achieving your goal?

What are the risks that you face? What could cause you to fail? Whatever it is you are choosing to do, you can be sure that it will not be as easy to achieve as you would like. Take some time to consider the obstacles in your path. Identify the top five or ten circumstances that could hinder your progress and then make a plan to avoid or reduce those risks. Being aware of the potential risks and having a contingency plan will make sure that any setback need not lead to failure.

Now go for it!

If you have addressed all these questions then you should have a very good chance of success with your decision. Let me wish you all the best with your resolution and I hope this next year is a great one for you!

Considering how many decisions we make on a daily basis it is amazing how little training we receive in decision-making. Perhaps it is even more surprising that – despite all our advances in science and particularly psychology – quite how hard it is to capture the complexity of human decisions.

The capacity that humans have to make decisions, be that through intuition or rational thought, is something that sets us aside from everything else on the planet; be that animals or computers.

In an ever faster paced and changing world, with growing access to information and choice, it is of growing importance to understand decision-making. If we want to become comfortable with uncertainty, risk and change; if we aspire to embrace learning, innovation and growth, then we need to be better at making decisions.

We all can make better decisions, but if you are a leader or manager, and your decisions affect the people and organisation you are responsible for, then this skill is of critical importance.

How do we get better at decision-making?

To be more effective at decision making we need to look at questions such as: is intuition or rational thought better for making decisions? How do we make logical or moral decisions? Can we even classify decisions in these ways? Can we over-ride our biases and fallacies? When are statistics and decision making models effective and when not? Which approaches and tools can help us? How can we think more effectively?

Here are some reviews and summaries of great books to help you on this journey. You will capture a glimpse of how amazing your brain is while getting a feel for its limitations. You will learn to embrace your innate ability to make superb decisions along with being more cognisant of the biases we all harbour. Armed with this knowledge you can develop strategies, and choose the right tools, to help make the best decisions in the various situations you are confronted with.

If you like the look of any of the books just click on the pictures to link to their reviews on Amazon.

Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman

Thinking Fast and Slow is the international best seller by Daniel Kahneman. Kahneman’s book is perhaps best known for his helpful and widely used classification of decision making into system one; intuitive (fast) decision-making and system two; the logical or rational (slow) decision-making. The book distils several decades of research on cognitive bias, prospect theory and happiness. It is highly instructive, especially in understanding the intellectual challenges we face when making decisions.

Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking, by Malcolm Gladwell

Malcolm Gladwell’s book is all about our amazing ability to make fast and effective decisions. In other words it is about intuitive thought and how we know things without knowing. At the heart of this book is the idea of keeping decision making simple and avoiding the ‘analysis paralysis’ that can be the result of too much information. It is full of fascinating examples and insight, and provides an interesting counterpoint to Kahneman’s Thinking Fast and Slow.

Thinking: The New Science of Decision-Making, Problem-Solving and Prediction, Edited by John Brockman

John Brockman, publisher of Edge.org, brings together a selection essays and transcripts in this book that explore various facets of thinking and decision making from leading psychologists, philosophers and neuroscientists. The book is intellectually challenging and tackles diverse issues such as desire, intuition, morality, statistics, rationality and human nature. I found the content humbling, as it opens the door to the amazing complexity of the brain and how much we still have to learn. It does not serve particularly well as an introduction to decision making but if you are interested in the subject then it does expose you to some of the leading thinkers and ideas in this field of psychology.

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Time to Think by Nancy Kline

Nancy Kline demonstrates that the quality of our thinking depends largely on the situation provided for us to think within.  In particular Nancy shows the empowering nature of focussed attention and how active listening enables us to think better.  The concept of ‘The Thinking Environment’ outlined in this book can help to transform your work meetings and personal relationships.  The book is a rallying call to improve not just the way we work, but the way we approach life.  I found it inspirational, I think you will too.

The Chimp Paradox, by Steve Peters

Steve Peters is a psychiatrist and sports psychologist who has worked extensively in the field of elite sports, and most notably with British Cycling. The Chimp Paradox seeks to explain, in simple terms, how the mind works and how to manage thoughts and emotions in order to be more confident, effective and happy. Although the book does not set itself out to be about decision making per se, the mind management model – that compares the emotional ‘chimp’ mind to the logical ‘human’ mind – is very much related to Kahneman’s systems one and two thinking or intuitive and rational decision making.

The Decision Book: Fifty Models for Strategic Thinking, by Mikael Krogerus and Roman Tschappeler

The Decision Book is a highly practical guide to 50 decision-making tools that can be employed in various circumstances. It is broken down into four sections looking at; how to improve yourself, how to understand yourself better, how to understand others better and how to improve others. Even if you already know and use a few decision making techniques you can guarantee that there are more in this book to challenge and inspire you.

Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, by Dr Robert Cialdini

Ciadini’s book Influence is one of the ‘go-to’ works on marketing and why people say ‘yes’. Ciadini’s research outlines the various ways we influence other people (and get influenced ourselves) when making decisions. Whether you are trying to impact someone else’s way of thinking or wanting to be aware of what sways your own decision making, this is a must read.

Nudge: Improving Decisions about Health, Wealth and Happiness, by Richard H Thaler and Cass R Sunstein

Nudge theory looks at our biases and how we can subtly influence behaviours to get better decisions. Thaler and Sunstein look at the decision making on a social scale and how changes in behaviour have large social impact. It is therefore no surprise that the book has been popular with policy makers among others. The book is a good companion to Cialdini’s book on Influence.

The Black Swan: The Impact of the Highly Improbable, by Nassim Nicholas Taleb

Taleb brilliantly, boldly (and somewhat brashly) puts forward arguments for the limitations of statistical analysis and how statistics are often very poor predictors of the future, especially in complex fields such as economics. Knowing this he puts out a rallying call that we should embrace uncertainty and leverage random opportunities as they arise. Prepare to be challenged!

Lateral Thinking, by Edward de Bono

This book is a classic text on creative thinking.  De Bono explains how the mind works, and then sets out various inventive methods to inspire lateral thought. This is essential reading on problem solving and compliments other approaches to slow thinking. The book champions divergent thought as opposed to purely vertical, convergent decision-making methodologies.

The Dice Man, by Luke Rhinehart

Just like Spinal Tap, our top ten goes all the way up to 11 with the inclusion of The Dice Man. This cult classic by Luke Rhinehart is controversial but worth a look. A fictional premise of a man who gives over every decision to a throw of a dice. It is not there to tell you how to make better decisions (such as the non-fiction titles above) but it will certainly get you thinking more about your decisions!

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And if you want some good ideas for audiobooks then click here.

New Year is one of the most popular time to set goals.  The challenge is, to achieve a goal you usually have to change habits, and that is often the hardest bit.

Let me guess the sort of things you want to achieve,  could it be one of the following:

1. Exercise more
2. Eat healthier
3. Save money
4. Lose weight
5. Reduce stress
6. Stick to a budget
7. Get more sleep
8. Spend more time with family
9. Learn a new skill
10. Travel more

Actually I am no clairvoyant, these 10 items are from a survey conducted by YouGov in 2018, and the list is very similar to studies on goals set by people in many other years.

The question is, if we are setting the same goals every year, is that because we are not achieving them? If so, why is that?

Even if you did not set yourself a strict New Year resolution in one of these areas it is likely that one or more of these goals would be something you would like to do at some point this year or next.  Just because you did not set yourself an aim at the beginning of January does not mean you cannot do it now.

Maybe you have not set a specific objective because you are worried you may not achieve it.  Failure can be very disheartening. If we understand why change is difficult than you can be less hard on yourself.  Goals need to be realistic among other things (see SMART goals).

Goals and habits

It’s all good and well having a lofty goal but we all know how hard it is to achieve – particularly when it means changing a habit. This means the goal is not just a one-off action; what we are trying to do is create multiple actions that compound and reinforce improvement over time.

Don’t worry if you are struggling to do this.  If you have not managed to keep your goals thus far, you are in good company.  Business Insider polled over 1000 people and found that 80% of people were failing to keep their New Year’s resolutions by February (2019).

This is a shame as resolutions are generally about creating new (and hopefully better) habits.  Arguably, 9 out of 10 of the list above are primarily about modifying behaviours. And habits generally take longer than a month to be embedded.

Phillippa Lally conducted a 12 week study on changing behaviour and found that on average it took more like two months (or 66 days to be more exact) for a new activity to become a habit.  This is longer than the 21 days popularised by Maxwell Maltz (1960) or the 30 days advocated by Marc Reklau (2014).

How do you effectively create a new habit?

Well first, given the evidence above, you need to give yourself an appropriate amount of time to embed your new behaviour.  A couple of months being a good benchmark.

The next thing is identifying the habit loop that exists and how to modify it.  Charles Duhigg, in his book The Power of Habit (2013), shows that we need to identify the cue (the stimulus), the routine (our action or behaviour) and the reward (the payoff).  Once we understand the cues to behaviours we can experiment with rewards to instil new routines.

This behaviour loop is actually a decision-making cycle. The thing is that as the behaviour becomes deeply embedded it becomes a habit – an intuitive or automatic response – rather than a conscious choice.

For example, I tend to get a little hungry mid-morning and mid-afternoon.  I often want a snack.  When the blood sugar is low it is very easy to grab something unhealthy to eat at this point – a sweet biscuit, chocolate bar or similar would be my thing. But I know this is not good for me, therefore I have tried other replacement snacks.  I have experimented with various options, and some things just don’t hit the spot, but I have found that I have a real thing for hummus.  I know hummus is nothing like a chocolate digestive but it turns out that if there is some hummus around, especially with a carrot or some sweet pepper, then there is a good chance I can avoid a sugary snack.  It does not always work but I have nudged that behaviour in the right direction.  I still find it hard to resist biscuits laid out at a meeting or someone else’s house but no one is perfect!

The trick is finding the reward mechanism that works for you with the habit you want to modify.

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Exercising more and learning more

Last year I had set out to run an ultra-marathon in the summer so I knew I needed to do more exercise. I also wanted to read more, as I love learning. The trouble was these goals were effectively competing with one another.  With the demands of work and being a parent, time was limited.  I was also finding that my time to read was generally just before bed and then I was too tired to properly absorb new material.

It was at that point that one of my coaching clients introduced me to audio books via the Audible service (a subsidiary of Amazon).  I already listened to a good number of podcasts so I knew it was achievable to listen and learn while doing light exercise or routine tasks.  With this knowledge in hand I signed up for a free trial to give it a go.

The free trial was for 30 days and by the end of the trial period, I knew it was for me.  I had already managed to get through two good books that it would have otherwise taken me at least a month to read each one.  The added bonus was that most of the time I had been listening I had also either been doing exercise or commuting.

It actually helped me to amend some other habits too.  I was enjoying listening so much that I started giving myself more time between meetings in London so I could walk, rather than use public transport, and get some more exercise, listening and thinking time in.  You could argue that I saved money and reduced stress as well, so inadvertently I was tending to some other popular resolutions!

Achieving the goal with better behaviours

Suffice to say by the end of the year I had completed my 100km ultra marathon (the CCC race in Alps) and listened to over 12 great non-fiction books (some I listen to twice in that time) that have all helped me in my work and life this year.  It has worked so well that I have signed up for a new race this year and continued my Audible subscription.

So yes, this has become something of a shameless plug for Audible but I really can recommend it, especially if your goals are similar to mine.  You can click on the link here for a free trial and see for yourself:

Audiobook Life Hack

By the way, one little life hack I have also earned this year is to listen to my podcasts and audiobooks at 1.5X speed.  This means that you can still hear everything clearly but you can get through a lot more material in the time you have available.  Give it a try!

In my next post I will share some of the great books I have listened to over the past year. Hopefully you will enjoy them too!

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References:

Ballard, J (2018) YouGov, https://today.yougov.com/topics/lifestyle/articles-reports/2018/12/13/new-years-resolutions-2019-exercise-healthy-eating

Bruek, H (2019) Business Insider,  https://www.businessinsider.com/how-long-to-keep-a-new-years-resolution-2018-12?r=US&IR=T

Duhigg, C (2013) The Power of Habit, London: Random House

Lally, P (2009) How are habits formed: Modelling habit formation in the real world, European Journal of Social Psychology, Volume 40, Issue 6

Maltz, M (1960; updated 2015) Psycho-Cybernetics, New York: Penguin Random House

Reklau, M (2014) 30 Days, Barcelona: Marc Reklau

Values are the principles and beliefs by which we live our lives and make our decisions. If you want to effectively lead yourself and lead others then you need to be aware of what those values are.

Our values are also linked to how we feel. Think for a moment: are you feeling unhappy, distressed or dissatisfied about something?

If you are, then there is a good chance that your reality is not living up to your expectations. Economists and researchers Rakesh Sarin and Manel Baucells worked out the fundamental equation of happiness was: Happiness = Reality – Expectations.

“Happiness equals reality minus expectations”

Rakesh Sarin and Manel Baucells

For example, it might be that you are unhappy about your:

• Career
• Relationships
• Habits
• Finances
• Work-life balance
• Health and fitness
• Life purpose and direction

The actual reason why you are unhappy

The usual reaction at this stage is to set a goal and achieve something that we think will make us feel happy. But, this often does not solve the underlying issue as unhappiness, and our expectations about being content, are actually rooted in our values. Our dissatisfaction is often caused by a misalignment between your core values and what is happening in your life and work at the moment.

Therefore, even if you did set and achieve a goal without understanding this, you may well find you end up unhappy again. If you do not make a decision in the context of your key principles then it is likely you will make the wrong decision or not really solve the deeper cause of your unhappiness.

By understanding your values you are in a good place to make a change for the better. That is the reason for starting with asking the question ‘why?’ Why do we want something? Why do we feel that way? Why do we want to change? These are the questions that will help us understand our motivations and pick the right goals.

Understanding your own values or principles is therefore vital in order to be effective and happy. And that is not just me saying that. Ray Dalio shares his precepts in his book ‘Principles and urges others to discover theirs. Brene Brown evidences the importance of values in Dare to Lead and Steven R Covey argues for a model of leadership based on being Principle-Centred.

What are values or principles in life?

Value denotes a degree of importance. In monetary terms, we set a value on something by how much we are willing to pay for a product or service.

In moral terms, a value is an ideal that we give a high degree of importance. Values are the moral code that guides us, and the priorities that motivate us. They are the principles we uphold, the ethics and tenants that we believe in and ascribe to. These ideas are our standards that set our rules of conduct and standard of behaviour.

If you do not know what your values are then it is very likely that you are living your life – whether you know it or not – according to other people’s principles or priorities.

“Just as your car runs more smoothly and requires less energy to go faster and farther when the wheels are in perfect alignment, you perform better when your thoughts, feelings, emotions, goals, and values are in balance.”

Brian Tracy

How do we express our principles?

There are values we hold personally and those we share corporately, be that with a team, community or organisation. They are often similar but expressed in subtly different ways. For example, common personal values might be expressed as kindness but a team might talk about respect for others. A person may value honesty whereas an organisation might express that as transparency.

David Brooks has formulated another way of looking at values, and that is resume values versus eulogy values. The differences are explored in his book The Road to Character and outlined in his TED Talk, “Should you live for your resume or your eulogy?”

The Quest

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How do you assess your personal core values?

You can do an assessment of your values by examining different aspects of your life and looking for trends.  You may have a feel for the values you most relate to, but thinking about values through these different lenses will help you see which principles you really do embody or aspire towards.

In my experience, it is good to start with examining our:

• Personal Stories
• Priorities
• Passions and
• Principles

Personal Stories 

The amount of our character that is fixed at birth or developed by external influence has been a hotly contested subject for many years. We will not go into the ‘nature versus nurture’ arguments here, but it is relatively safe to say that our character is formed from a mixture of both innate qualities and our experiences.

There are various personality tests that you can do but one of the most instructive ways you can examine your character is by looking at the stories of your life.

Try to think about:

• When have you been most happy?
• Which achievement or experience are you most proud of?
• What has been your biggest success?
• What has been your biggest failure?
• When have you been most afraid and what do you fear most?
• Which thing in your past are you most ashamed of?

When reflecting on a personal story you can analyse it in this way:

• What was the situation?
• Which role did you have to play and what did you do?
• What was the result and what did you learn?

Certain themes and principles should emerge as you do this analysis.

Priorities

One simple and effective way to examine our priorities is to see where we use our resources. We invest our time and money in what we value.

Money

Where does your cash go? Money provides a very tangible expression of what we prioritise. Have a look at your bank account and credit card bills. Even how much you spend on essentials and where you shop can be telling. Food, clothing, and shelter are essential but buying luxury options are not. What do you choose to spend more or less on?

Do some analysis and ask:

• How do you budget or divide up what you spend?
• How much do you spend on different things? (E.g. debts, savings, utilities, rent/mortgage, holidays/travel, clothes, leisure activities etc.)

Time

Time is a truly finite resource. How you spend your time will give you a good indication of what you really value. Take a look at your diary or think back and answer the following:

• What amount of time goes to various activities each day and each week? (Working, sleeping, eating, leisure activities etc.)
• Within your work time, how does it break down? (Emails, speaking to people/phone calls, meetings, writing, planning, business development, people development, etc.)
• Which roles do you play in life and how do you prioritise them? (Employee, leader, spouse, parent, friend, child, creator, team member, other?)
• What habits or routines do you have?

Passions

Our passions are the things that drive us emotionally. Our passions either draw us towards or away from something or someone. Often we don’t analyse these thoughts and they can go unnoticed but if you reflect on your thoughts and dreams, beliefs and influences then you will gain a deeper understanding of your passions.

Thoughts and Dreams

What we spend our time thinking, dreaming or worrying about can also tell us a lot. Think about:

• What are you hoping to achieve in life?
• When you daydream what is it about?
• If time and money were not limited what would you do?
• Imagine that you have one wish that would immediately be fulfilled, what would it be?
• What are you anxious or stressed about right now?

Beliefs

What are your theological, metaphysical, philosophical and political beliefs? Ask yourself:

• What are the values of the politicians or political parties you vote for?
• Where do you put your trust for the future?
• When something goes wrong, what or who do you turn to for answers and support?
• What makes you joyful?
• What makes you angry?

Influences

There are many external influences on our lives and predominantly these are people we know or respect. Think about the following:

• Who do you follow?
• Who do you want to be like?
• Which are your favourite biographies?
• What are the books and stories you like most?
• Which films do you like most and why?
• What are the principles of your family and friends?

Principles

Having thought through your personal stories, how you spend your time and money, your dreams, your beliefs and your influences, you should be a much better place to assess what your values really are.

What trends do you see appearing and which words help to sum those up?

“Principles are fundamental truths that serve as the foundations for behavior that gets you what you want out of life. They can be applied again and again in similar situations to help you achieve your goals.”

Ray Dalio

What are examples of values or principles?

The list of words that we could use to express our values is almost endless but sometimes we can struggle to come up with the right one.

Here is a list of more than 150 more common values that will help to prompt you:

Accountability	Discipline	Humour	Respect
Accuracy	Discretion	Humility	Restraint
Achievement	Diversity	Independence	Results-oriented
Adventure	Dynamism	Ingenuity	Rigour
Altruism	Economy	Inner Harmony	Romance
Appearance	Effectiveness	Inquisitiveness	Security
Ambition	Efficiency	Insightfulness	Self-actualization
Autonomy	Elegance	Integrity	Self-control
Assertiveness	Empathy	Intelligence	Self-expression
Balance	Enjoyment	Intimacy	Selflessness
Beauty	Enthusiasm	Intuition	Self-reliance
Being the best	Environment	Joy	Sensitivity
Belonging	Equality	Justice	Serenity
Boldness	Excellence	Leadership	Service
Calmness	Excitement	Legacy	Shrewdness
Carefulness	Expertise	Love	Simplicity
Challenge	Exploration	Loyalty	Soundness
Cheerfulness	Expressiveness	Making a difference	Speed
Clarity	Fairness	Mastery	Spirituality
Commitment	Faith	Merit	Spontaneity
Community	Family	Nature	Stability
Communication	Flexibility	Obedience	Status
Compassion	Fidelity	Openness	Strategic
Competitiveness	Fitness	Order	Strength
Connectivity	Fluency	Originality	Structure
Consistency	Focus	Partnership	Success
Contentment	Freedom	Patriotism	Support
Continuous Improvement	Friendship	Perfection	Teamwork
Contribution	Fulfilment	Personal growth	Thankfulness
Control	Fun	Piety	Thoroughness
Cooperation	Generosity	Positivity	Thoughtfulness
Correctness	Goodness	Power	Timeliness
Courtesy	Grace	Practicality	Tolerance
Creativity	Growth	Privacy	Tradition
Curiosity	Happiness	Preparedness	Trustworthiness
Decisiveness	Hard Work	Professionalism	Truth
Democraticness	Health	Prudence	Understanding
Dependability	Helping Society	Quality-orientation	Uniqueness
Determination	Holiness	Recognition	Unity
Devoutness	Honesty	Reliability	Usefulness
Diligence	Honour	Resourcefulness	Vitality

What are your top 3 personal values?

Pick the 3 most important principles, those with the highest score and correlation after looking at the various aspects above.

Why 3? Because:

“If you have more than three priorities, you have no priorities”

Brené Brown, Dare to Lead

Three is a powerful number for various reasons (to find our more read The Rule of 3).

One of the best ways to identify your values is to follow this easy process:

1. print off a list (such as the one above) and then cut them up so you have one single value per piece of paper or card.
2. Now sort those values into three equal piles (most important, less important, least important)
3. Take the ‘most important’ pile and discard the rest.
4. Go through steps 2 and 3 until you are left with just 3 values.

How do you define or refine those principles?

For each of the 3 words that you have chosen, write your own definition. Think:

• What does the word mean to you?
• Which actions or behaviours display your defined value?
• What other word or words would you add to the initial one to make it embody the value most clearly?

The idea here is to define how you actually live out your value. Simon Sinek puts it in this way:

“For values or guiding principles to be truly effective they have to be verbs. It’s not “integrity,” it’s “always do the right thing.” It’s not “innovation,” it’s “look at the problem from a different angle.” Articulating our values as verbs gives us a clear idea – we have a clear idea of how to act in any situation.”

Simon Sinek

Next, put your principles in priority order. This is important as there will be decisions where you have to know the most important factor. To help you try asking these questions:

• If you could satisfy only one of the values which would you choose?
• When a situation causes a conflict between two of your values (for example career and family) what would you do?

Congratulations!

“It’s not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.”
― Roy Disney

Once you know your values you can use them to guide you in making decisions, setting goals and living a more fulfilling life. You are likely to continue to refine your list over time so it is worth reviewing whenever you review your plans.

We have to make an active choice. If we go with the flow then we can be swayed by wrong beliefs and unhelpful thoughts that can create bad habits, wrong values and an unhappy destiny. Or, if we actively work to define our values, we can build useful habits, have positive words and actions and create positive thoughts and liberating beliefs. We all have a personal responsibility for our destiny.

Taking things further

You have made a big step towards understanding your values and this will really help you. It does not end there though. In my experience, understanding values is an iterative process; you will refine your principles every time to take time to really examine them.

Your values create a firm platform for your decisions and plans. Question is, now you have the foundations, what will you build?

You may want to start making a plan for what you want to do next and if so you will find my post on making an action plan useful.

You may want also want some help, delving deeper into your values and identifying your goals. I have the pleasure of seeing amazing, positive, transformations in the individuals and organisations I work with. If you would like some assistance too, in person or online, then please do drop me a line. You can email me via the contact page.