What does resilience actually mean?

In terms of physics, the term resilience relates to how an elastic material can absorb energy when it is bent out of shape and then spring back to its original position. 

The Oxford Dictionary defines this as:

“The ability of a substance to return to its original shape after it has been bent, stretched or pressed.”

Picture a tree in a storm that is being buffeted by strong winds. A resilient tree is able to flex to accommodate the force of the wind. The branches and even the trunk might bend a bit (and it might lose a few leaves), but once the gust has passed, the tree returns to how it was before and carries on growing. 

What is a resilient person?

The idea of physical and mental resilience, relating to people, carries similar meaning. It is the ability to bounce back after experiencing stress or challenge.

The Oxford Dictionary defines this as:

“The ability of people or things to recover quickly after something unpleasant, such as shock, injury, etc.”

So, whether talking about things or people, resilience is about flexibility, toughness, elasticity, and buoyancy. It also relates to adaptability, endurance, perseverance, and fortitude.

What are signs of low resilience?

The signs of low resilience can be extrapolated from the opposites to the definitions outlined above. The antonyms of resilience include weakness, vulnerability, fragility and rigidity. A person of low resilience is likely to feel helpless, to be overly sensitive, and unable to deal with stress or manage emotions effectively. 

Ancient ideas on and approaches to resilience

There is an increased interest in the concept of resilience today, particularly in the workplace, but actually the idea of resilience is nothing new. The world has always been full of challenges, and therefore the need for resilience is as old as life itself. 

If you read ancient texts, they are full of musings on the nature of what we now call resilience. For example, the writings of King Solomon (970 to 931 BC) are full of wisdom relating to resilience, such as this quote on perspective:

“To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven… a time to break down, and a time to build up…” (Ecclesiastes 3:1-3)

In a similar vein, Confucius (551 to 479 BC) said:

“Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”

But it is the Stoic philosophers who are probably best known for their focus on was we now call building resilience.  For example, Seneca the Younger (4 BC – AD 65) wrote:

“Difficulties strengthen the mind, as labour does the body.”

And the Stoics had the first thing that came close to what we would call a model for resilience in their four core principles. The Stoics believed that living by these four qualities allowed people to flourish. The four virtues are:

• Wisdom (Prudence). The proper application of knowledge, understanding right from wrong, and how to act in a given situation.
• Courage (Fortitude). The ability to face challenges, stand up for what is right, to endure hardship.
• Justice (Fairness). Treating people with kindness, equity, and honesty.
• Temperance (Moderation). Having discipline, self-restraint and self-mastery.

Modern developments

There is now specific academic interest in the subject of resilience, but before the term became widely used it was still very much a concept of interest. Modern literature – both fiction and non-fiction – is full of stories and examples of resilience. For example, Tolkein’s Lord of the Rings gives great examples of resilience, especially in the hobbit characters of Frodo and Sam. The fact that Tolkien draws upon his experiences of serving in the First World War, and the horrors of the Western Front, gives this story a depth that goes beyond your average fantasy novel.

For real-life examples of resilience, Viktor Frankl’s reflections on his time in Nazi concentration camps, captured in Man’s Search For Meaning, are heart-wrenching, terrifying and inspiring in equal measure. The same could be said for The Gulag Archipelago by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn.

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” – Viktor Frankl

Modern models of resilience: The 7 Cs and the 5 Pillars

There are various modern models of resilience, the most common of which are the 7 Cs and the 5 Pillars.

What are the 7Cs of resilience?

Kenneth Ginsberg (2014) developed a model of resilience known as the 7 Cs of resilience. The 7 Cs are competence, confidence, connection, character, contribution, coping and control. Here is a further explanation of each element:

1. Competence. Competence is about our ability to do something or handle a situation correctly. Competence comes from training and experience, which gives us the right skills and knowledge to deal with circumstances. 
2. Confidence. Confidence is a mindset. As explained by neuroscientist Professor Ian Robertson (in his book How Confidence Works), confidence is based on two core beliefs: that we can do something and that it can happen. 
3. Connection. Connection refers to human relationships. Good connection comes from strong ties to family, friends and community.
4. Character. Character sums up the mental and moral aspects of who you are. Choosing to live a life of integrity, with positive values, and with a strong sense of right and wrong, builds good character. 
5. Contribution. Contribution is what we bring to the world; it is our positive addition to our community. This contribution can give us both purpose and satisfaction as we use our skills and resources to help others. 
6. Coping. Coping is our ability to deal with stress. Life is full of change, pressure and problems; therefore, our capacity to cope is very important. Successfully coping with challenges further builds our capacity. 
7. Control. Control is the understanding of what we do and what we don’t control. Wisdom comes from knowing the things we can control (such as our attitude) and focusing more on these things, rather than the things we have less influence over, such as other people and external events.

Mental and physical resilience

As you can see from this list, the focus here is on mental resilience, rather than physical wellbeing, and this is the case with many resilience models, such as Lyn Worsley’s model for personal resilience, the Resilience Doughnut, which is similar to the 7 Cs and includes seven factors (the partner factor, the skill factor, the family factor, the education factor, the friends factor, the community factor, the work factor).

But it is important to remember that the two are linked. Building physiological stamina can also help build psychological resilience, and if our physical reserves are low, this will also impact our mental capacity.  

Therefore, if we want to be truly resilient, we need a holistic approach to resilience that incorporates the mental and physical aspects. Some of the 5 Pillars models (but not all) start to address this.

The Five Pillars or Facets of Resilience

There are various other models that claim five pillars or facets of resilience. I have listed several here:

Dr Robyn Hanley-Dafoe’s 5 Pillars of Resilience

1. Belonging – Social connections and support networks (a “home team”). This includes experiencing psychological safety and trust.
2. Perspective – Aligning head and heart. Prioritising time and energy towards what matters and seeing challenges as temporary and as ways to grow.
3. Acceptance – Acknowledging reality as it is and knowing the things we can and cannot control. This helps people focus their energy on what they can influence.
4. Hope – Hope is believing in the possibility of positive outcomes and our ability to influence the future. 
5. Humour – Humour releases pressure, can help maintain perspective, and gives you a reprieve during difficult times.

Thus, Dr Hanley-Dafoe brings a fresh perspective to resilience, but still does not capture the physical side. In contrast, the 5 Pillars as proposed by the Wellbeing Project do incorporate physiological factors:

The Wellbeing Project 5 Pillars of Resilience

1. Energy – healthy consumption, physical activity sleep and boundaries
2. Future Focus – purpose and personal control
3. Inner Drive – Motivation and self-belief
4. Flexible Thinking – open-mindedness and positive framing
5. Strong Relationships – building trust and accessing support

The Resilience Builder model is very similar and also includes a physical element:

The Resilience Builder Model

1. Purpose
2. Emotional Intelligence
3. Mental Strength
4. Physical Stamina
5. Social Support

Combining the ancient and modern models of resilience

My personal experience of emotional burnout led me to create my own model of resilience. I did this because I wanted a practical way to monitor how I was doing and, at the same time, build my capacity for managing stress. 

You can read more about this in:

How to Prevent Burnout: The Essentials to Monitor

I call this model the Whole Life Balance Model, and it looks at resilience through the four aspects of:

• Heart – emotional management, relationships and community
• Body – strength, health, nutrition, sleep and rest
• Mind – psychological safety, learning, skills and mindset
• Soul – motivation, mindfulness, values and purpose

As you can see, the four facets (heart, body, mind and soul) reflect wording from the Bible but also capture the various elements of the 7 Cs and 5 Pillars models. 

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Resilience analogies: the tree and being in balance

Returning to the tree analogy, I like to think of each aspect (from your preferred model) as being the roots that support the trunk of resilience. 

Here too we can see the overlap with the idea of balance. The wind pushes the tree out of balance, but due to its resilience, when the wind has passed, it returns to being upright and balance is restored. 

Resilience is also dynamic. In the same way a tree can strengthen its roots and grow, we too can build our capacity and become more resilient, physically and mentally. Equally, if the tree (or we) undergo undue stress, it might take longer to repair and recover. 

What are the best ways to build resilience?

With the help of these analogies and models, we can find ways to develop resilience in ourselves and others. In simple terms, this requires:

1. Assessing our current situation and our capacity to deal with it
2. Identifying areas for growth 
3. Creating a development plan
4. Implementing the plan

Diagnosis – digging down to the roots

The first step is diagnosis; assessing the both our reserves of resilience and the present situation with it’s stresses.

You could use any model of resilience as a framework to help with this and I created the Whole Life Balance Model which takes a rounded approach to resilience and provides questions for self-examination along with a way of scoring each aspect. If you want to try this out just follow the steps in my post linked below:

How to Maintain Balance in Life and Ensure Success

Identification – checking the roots

Having done the self-diagnosis, and scored yourself against each element, you will then be able to identify any areas of weakness. This helps in deciding which things to prioritise and strengthen.

Planning – protecting the roots

For example, you might have had a poor sleep score (which is not uncommon). In this case the first thing to do would be to work on improving your sleep quantity and quality. This might include setting an alarm to go to sleep, rather than to get up. Stopping watching screens late at night or reducing you caffeine intake, particularly in the afternoons and evenings. The list could go on; the point is that once you have identified the area to work you can brainstorm things to try.

Implementation – growing the roots

The next stage is all about changing behaviour and creating healthy habits. You can read more on how to effectively develop good habits by following the link to my post below:

How to Develop Better Habits

Root and Branch

Once the roots are strengthened, we can also look to our branches. In other words, we can think about how we immidiately respond to pressure, stress and challenge, and then further increase our resilience with some useful tools.

To be resilient, like a tree, we need to absorb some of the impact, adapt to the conditions, and then spring back and return to normal.

Absorb

In the initial moment of stress, when dealing with the fight or flight response, the best thing we can do it take some deep breaths. For more information on breathing techniques read:

The Best Breathing Techniques to Reduce Anxiety

Adapt

Next we adapt to the circumstances. This might include stating emotions and reframing our views of the situation.

Rebound

When we rebound after overcoming a challenge, we can reflect on the experience, learn from it, then reset our direction in line with our values, vision and mission.

Support and Coaching

We can go through these steps alone, but as each of these models emphasises the importance of relationships, it is wise to get support from others. That could be from friends, family or colleagues, but a professional coach, with experience in this area, can help maximise our effectiveness.

And if you would like coaching support, please do send me a message via the Contact Page.

Why Stoic Leadership Matters Today

In an era of constant distraction, emotional volatility and external pressure, more people than ever are turning to Stoicism for clarity, strength and authentic leadership. Stoicism is not about emotional suppression — it is about emotional mastery, discipline and resilience.

From Roman emperors and former slaves to modern military heroes and entrepreneurs, stoic leaders across history have followed the same powerful truth:

You cannot control the world — but you can control yourself.

In this article, we explore six of the most powerful stoic leaders in history — three ancient and three modern — and uncover what their wisdom teaches us about leadership, pressure, adversity and personal greatness.

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1. Marcus Aurelius – The Emperor Who Led with Reason

Marcus Aurelius ruled the Roman Empire at the height of its power while living by the principles of Stoicism. Unlike most rulers, he did not chase pleasure or ego. Instead, he ruled through duty, discipline and restraint.

His private journal, later published as Meditations, became one of the most important stoic texts in history.

“You have power over your mind — not outside events. Realise this, and you will find strength.“

– Marcus Aurelius

Despite war, betrayal, political chaos and personal loss, Marcus remained steady. His leadership proves that true authority comes from inner stability, not external control.

Leadership Lesson: If you can govern your emotions, you can govern anything.

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2. Seneca – The Philosopher Inside the Fire

Seneca the Younger lived inside one of the most dangerous political environments in history — serving as advisor to the unstable Emperor Nero. While surrounded by betrayal, fear and death, Seneca taught calm, logic and restraint.

“We suffer more often in imagination than in reality.”

– Seneca the Younger

This single insight is devastatingly relevant today. Anxiety, burnout and fear often come not from reality — but from what we imagine might happen. You can discover more of his insights in his writings, including Letters from a Stoic.

Seneca also warned leaders about wealth obsession, vanity and power addiction — timeless traps that still destroy modern executives and influencers.

Leadership Lesson: Control your thoughts or they will control your leadership.

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3. Epictetus – The Slave Who Defined Freedom

Epictetus was born a slave. He owned nothing. And yet — he became the most influential stoic teacher of his time.

His core philosophy was built on one unbreakable distinction:

“It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.”

– Epictetus

Epictetus taught that you do not control:

• Your past
• Other people
• External events

But you always control:

• Your judgement
• Your attitude
• Your response

This chimes with modern psychology. For example, the psychologist and Nazi concentration camp survivor Victor E. Frankl (author of Man’s Search for Meaning) came to the same conclusion. This concept is also reflected in Stephen R. Covey’s “circles of influence” (from The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People).

This emphasis on emotional regulation is also a key element of emotional intelligence.

Leadership Lesson: You gain power the moment you stop trying to control everything.

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Modern Stoic Leaders

Stoicism did not disappear with ancient Rome. Its psychological strength quietly shaped many of the most effective modern leaders in history.

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4. George Washington – The Leader Who Walked Away from Power

George Washington could have consolidated power in his own rule after the American Revolution. Instead, he chose something far rarer: self-restraint.

He stepped down not once — but twice — defining what democratic leadership would look like for centuries to come.

“Happiness and moral duty are inseparably connected.”

– George Washington

Washington endured brutal defeats, freezing winters, internal betrayal and overwhelming pressure without ego or complaint.

Leadership Lesson: True greatness is proven by the ability to release power and empower others, not by retaining it.

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5. Admiral James Stockdale – Stoicism Under Torture

James Stockdale was held as a prisoner of war in Vietnam for over seven years. He was tortured, isolated and broken physically — but not mentally.

Stockdale survived by applying Stoic philosophy under the most extreme conditions imaginable.

His legendary leadership insight became known as The Stockdale Paradox:

“You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality.”

– Admiral James Stockdale

His experiences are captured in his book, Thoughts of a Philosophical Fighter Pilot. This is stoicism without romance. No delusions. No false optimism. Only truth, endurance and inner command.

Leadership Lesson: Brutal realism plus unshakable faith equals mental invincibility.

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6. Tim Ferriss – Stoicism for the Modern Mind

Tim Ferriss has brought Stoicism into the digital age through entrepreneurship, writing and performance optimisation. His thought leadership is captured in his books, such as The 4-Hour Work Week, his podcast, The Tim Ferriss Show, and he has been featured in The Daily Stoic.

He openly credits Stoic practices such as:

• Fear-setting – analysing and defining fears rather than goals
• Negative visualisation – contemplating negative situations to prepare for adversity
• Voluntary discomfort – choosing uncomfortable situations to develop resilience and character
• Detachment from outcomes – being more mindful of the present and the journey rather than the goal

“What we fear doing most is usually what we most need to do.”

– Timothy Ferris

Ferriss teaches that fear is often the most reliable compass toward growth — a deeply stoic principle.

Leadership Lesson: Growth begins at the edge of discomfort.

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What All Stoic Leaders Have in Common

Across centuries and circumstances, every stoic leader shares the same foundational traits:

• Emotional discipline
• Self-control under pressure
• Strategic, long-term thinking
• Clarity in chaos
• Duty over ego
• Resilience through adversity

Stoicism does not make leaders passive. It makes them precise, calm and unshakeable.

In a world driven by outrage, impulse and distraction, stoic leadership has become a competitive advantage.

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Why Stoicism Is Exploding in Modern Leadership

Today’s leaders face:

• Market volatility
• Political instability
• AI disruption
• Cultural division
• Burnout and overwhelm

Stoicism provides:

• Mental clarity
• Emotional regulation
• Focus under pressure
• Decision-making strength
• Psychological resilience

This is why Stoicism is now taught in:

• Military academies
• Executive leadership programmes
• Elite sports psychology
• High-performance entrepreneurship

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Final Thought: Leadership Begins with Self-Mastery

Stoicism does not promise comfort.

It promises strength.

Every leader in this article — ancient and modern — proved the same truth:

You don’t rise by controlling others. You rise by mastering yourself.

Whether you lead a business, a family, a team or simply your own life, Stoicism offers a timeless blueprint for unshakeable leadership.

A positive attitude is a crucial element of success, happiness, and overall well-being. It can transform challenges into opportunities, enhance relationships, increase resilience and bolster mental and physical health. Also, a positive mindset will improve your leadership of yourself and others.

Cultivating a positive mindset is not an overnight process but by increasing our self-awareness and by building consistent habits, we can quickly start to see the improvements. In this article, we will explore practical steps to build and maintain a positive attitude in everyday life.

Understand the Power of a Positive Attitude

A positive attitude is more than just seeing the glass as half full. It involves resilience, optimism, and a proactive approach to life’s difficulties. Research by the Mayo Clinic has shown that individuals with a positive mindset experience lower stress levels, improved immune function, and greater success in personal and professional endeavours. Research also suggests that positive thinking can lead to increased life span, lower rates of depression, and better cardiovascular health.

Thus, to build a positive attitude and gain mental resilience, use these eleven habits:

Eleven Simple Habits to Improve Your Positive Attitude

1. Practice Gratitude Daily

Gratitude is one of the simplest yet most effective ways to cultivate positivity. A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that individuals who practised gratitude reported higher levels of happiness and lower levels of stress.

By focusing on what you have rather than what you lack, you shift your perspective from scarcity to abundance. Consider maintaining a gratitude journal where you write down three things you are thankful for each day. This practice trains your brain to seek the good in every situation.

2. Surround Yourself with Positive Influences (And Limit Negativity)

The people around you significantly impact your mindset. A study from Harvard University found that happiness is contagious, meaning that surrounding yourself with positive people can improve your own well-being.

Therefore, spend time with individuals who uplift and encourage you rather than those who bring negativity. Seek out mentors, friends, and communities that inspire and motivate you. Additionally, consuming positive content, such as books, podcasts, and motivational speeches, can reinforce a constructive mindset.

In today’s digital age, it is easy to be overwhelmed by negative news and social media. Research published in Cyberpsychology, Behaviour, and Social Networking indicates that excessive social media use can lead to increased anxiety and depression. So, be mindful of the content you consume and take breaks from social media if needed. Choose to engage only with uplifting and constructive information that enhances your outlook on life.

3. Develop Self-Awareness

Self-awareness allows you to recognise negative thought patterns and replace them with positive ones. Pay attention to your inner dialogue and challenge wrong assumptions and self-defeating beliefs. Instead of saying, “I can’t do this,” reframe your thoughts to, “I will find a way to make this work” or “What can I learn from this situation?”

Practising mindfulness and meditation can help you become more aware of your thoughts and emotions, enabling you to manage them effectively. A study in the journal Mindfulness found that individuals who practised mindfulness meditation experienced greater emotional regulation and reduced anxiety.

4. Adopt a Growth Mindset

A growth mindset, a concept developed by psychologist Carol Dweck, emphasises the belief that abilities and intelligence can be developed through effort and perseverance. Embrace challenges as learning experiences rather than obstacles. Instead of fearing failure, view it as an opportunity to grow and improve. 

A growth mindset does more than just increase your positive attitude. As research from Stanford University has shown, students with a growth mindset tend to achieve higher academic success than those with a fixed mindset.

5. Practice Positive Affirmations

Positive affirmations are powerful statements that reinforce self-belief and optimism. Examples include “I am capable,” “I am worthy of success,” and “I choose to see the good in every situation.” Repeating affirmations daily can help reprogram your subconscious mind to align with a positive outlook. A study published in Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience showed that self-affirmations activate brain regions associated with self-worth and positive valuation.

6. Engage in Regular Physical Activity

Exercise has a profound impact on mental well-being. The American Psychological Association (APA) has documented numerous studies confirming that regular exercise reduces symptoms of depression and anxiety. This is because physical activity releases endorphins, also known as “feel-good” hormones, which can reduce stress and improve mood. Engaging in activities such as cycling, yoga, or sports can contribute to a more positive attitude. 

My personal favourite is taking regular walks, preferably in nature, and I can attest to the improvements in physical and mental health. There is a lot of evidence to support the benefits of walking, as you can read about in The Surprising Power of Going for a Walk.

7. Cultivate Kindness and Generosity

Acts of kindness, whether big or small, can boost your own happiness and create a ripple effect of positivity. Helping others fosters a sense of fulfilment and reinforces the idea that you have the power to make a difference. 

A study from the University of California, Berkeley, found that people who engage in acts of kindness experience increased levels of happiness and life satisfaction. So, find opportunities to be kind. Volunteer, support a friend in need, or simply offer a smile to a stranger.

8. Manage Emotions and Stress Effectively

Stress is inevitable, but how you respond to it determines its impact on your attitude. For example, research from the American Institute of Stress highlights that stress management techniques can lead to better mental health and increased productivity.

Develop healthy coping mechanisms for managing emotions, such as deep breathing exercises, journaling, or engaging in hobbies you enjoy. Prioritising self-care and maintaining a good routine can prevent stress from overwhelming you. 

9. Set Realistic Goals and Celebrate Progress

Having clear goals gives you direction and motivation. A study in the Journal of Applied Psychology has found that setting specific, attainable goals improves motivation and performance. Break down large goals into smaller, achievable steps and celebrate your progress along the way. Acknowledging your accomplishments, no matter how small, can boost confidence and reinforce a positive mindset.

10. Maintain a Healthy Work-Life Balance

Overworking can lead to burnout and negativity. A study by the World Health Organisation (WHO) found that long working hours are linked to a higher risk of stroke and heart disease. Therefore, ensure you allocate time for relaxation, hobbies, and spending quality moments with loved ones. A balanced lifestyle promotes happiness and prevents stress from taking a toll on your attitude.

11. Embrace Humour and Laughter

Laughter is a natural stress reliever and mood booster. A recent study from Loma Linda University found that laughter reduces stress hormones and enhances immune function. Therefore, engage in activities that make you laugh, whether it’s watching a comedy show, sharing jokes with friends, or finding humour in everyday situations. A light-hearted approach to life fosters resilience and positivity.

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The Journey Towards a Positive Attitude and Greater Resilience

Building a positive attitude is a continuous journey that requires conscious effort and practice. By incorporating gratitude, surrounding yourself with positivity, adopting a growth mindset, and practising self-care, you can develop a resilient and optimistic outlook on life. 

A positive attitude not only enhances your personal well-being but also inspires and uplifts those around you. Start today, and embrace the power of positivity in shaping your future.

And remember, if negative thoughts persist despite your efforts, consider seeking support from a coach, therapist or counsellor. Professional guidance can help you navigate challenges and develop strategies to cultivate a more positive outlook. 

If you would like any help with being coached to improve your mindset, or want advice on where to go for extra assistance, please do contact me via the Contact Page. 

This YouTube video introduces how to achieve better life balance:

Life Balance (it’s more than just work and everything else)

How do you maintain a good life balance? People often talk about work-life balance but the problem with thinking about balance in these terms is that it is purely binary. But work is an aspect of life, not a separate entity, and there are many other aspects of our lives that we should consider when maintaining balance. This video shows you how to consider the various elements of life to ensure balance.

For more information, follow the link to the full article:

How to Achieve Better Life Balance

Have you ever felt burnt out? I have.

One day I woke up but I could hardly move. I felt smothered under a leaden blanket – utterly drained of energy. Trying to sit up induced waves of fatigue making me fight for breath. What was happening? It was as though someone had replaced my body. This faulty one could surely not belong to me.

I assumed I had some infection, probably the flu. But a day in bed became a week and I was still no better. By the end of the second week, I was getting scared. I had never been ill for this long before. I wondered if I would ever recover.

But it was not a virus that I was suffering from, it was fatigue. I had burnt out. I was suffering from complete mental and physical exhaustion. I had run my tank to empty, and my body had shut down. I did eventually recover, but it was many weeks before I was close to normal.

The guilt of burning out

On top of feeling bad physically, I also felt terrible mentally and emotionally. I had not realised how much of my self-worth related to my physical wellbeing until it was taken away from me. I was like Samson, shorn of his locks. I also felt guilty. Guilty for letting people down at work. Guilty that my wife had to look after me. Guilty that I did not have a ‘proper illness.’

And why now? I had been tired before. In my military career, as a leader on exercises and operations around the world, I had been frequently tested to the limits of my endurance. But now? Now I was working for a church. My colleagues were my friends, and I was passionate about what I was doing. I lived in a comfortable flat with a loving wife. How could I be so weak as to collapse?

A slow-motion car crash

In the aftermath of my burnout, I started to examine my life and the causes of my exhaustion. Medically, I had not developed full-blown chronic fatigue syndrome (that lasts for more than six months) but my illness had shaken me. Situationally, there was no one moment or big event that tipped the balance. My collapse was the compounded effect of a lifestyle I had been living for several years.

I had been like a car, brakes locked, sliding slowly down an icy road, drifting inevitably towards the crash barrier. I realised that if I had been wiser, then my crash could have been avoided. There had been tell-tale signs that I was in a downward spiral. It was just that I was oblivious to them. My dashboard was flashing warning lights, but my eyes were just fixed on the road ahead.

When we drive a vehicle, we know we can accelerate hard or go fast for a time, but we cannot run that way for long. We must manage the strain on the engine. It is also essential to frequently refuel, check the oil and water levels. Vehicles require servicing after a specific duration or mileage.

The metaphor of driving helped me to understand my situation. It made me wonder, what are the dials on my dashboard? What do I need to monitor to make sure I don’t empty my tank or crash again? How should I retain balance?

Work-life balance or whole life balance

People often talk about work-life balance, but this makes us think of a scale with work on one side and the rest of life on the other. This picture does not do justice to the complexity of our lives and our vocation’s interconnectivity with other aspects of life.

One model I found much more illuminating was the Wheel of Life which takes a much more holistic view of how our lives are made up and where there might be an imbalance. This is a great tool and one I still regularly use for myself and my coaching clients.

I also re-examined my personal values. This was also very informative. By identifying my core values and comparing those to my decisions and life choices I could identify the small compromises that had compounded over time. Even straying, just by a little, from my moral compass meant that over time I got further and further from where I has set out to be.

Bringing all of this together I created my dashboard – a set of personal dials that have helped me to avoid burnout in the fifteen years since my burnout. I grouped these dials into four categories that covered heart, body, mind, and soul. For each sub-category, I have included questions that can help in monitoring your levels.

The burnout prevention dashboard

HEART

Emotions

Emotions are natural and good but if we do not monitor them then they can become ever more erratic or extreme. Therefore, ask yourself:

• On a scale of 1 to 10, how do you feel (1 being depressed and 10 being joyful)?
• Are you losing your temper faster or slower than usual?
• When you get angry are you holding onto those feelings longer or shorter than usual?
• Do I feel I am in control or do I feel trapped in my situation?

Relationships

Whether we are introverts or extroverts we all need quality social interaction. We also need to realise that some relationships give us more energy (on balance) and others leave us wanting. Examine your network and ask yourself:

• Who gives you energy and who drains it?
• Are you spending more time with those that sap energy or give energy?
• Which energy-draining relationships should be stopped?

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BODY

Health

This is not just whether we are ill or not, this is whether we are keeping fit and healthy. We all need adequate exercise and a good diet. So, ask yourself:

• How much exercise have I had today/this week? Is it enough?
• Am I eating at appropriate times or am I snacking too much?
• What proportion of my meals would be considered healthy?

Sleep

The most important aspect of rest, and the most regularly abused, is sleep. Put simply we need sleep to live. Our physical wellbeing and ability to fight infections, our cognitive abilities and memory, our emotions and mental health are all dependent upon sleep. Scientific research has shown that adults need at least seven, but generally closer to eight or nine hours of sleep. If you think you are an exception to that rule, then you should read Why We Sleep by Matthew Walker. We should all ask:

• Am I getting more than 7 hours of quality sleep at night?
• Am I watching screens just before trying to sleep?
• Am I snacking or drinking alcohol or caffeine too close to bedtime?

Vacations 

As well as sleep we should also plan other rest periods. Weekends and holidays provide the chance to have a rest from the pressures of everyday life. Unfortunately, our interconnected world and smart devices can make it hard to disconnect at times. Therefore, it is important to plan vacations and protect them.

• When is my next day off and how will I protect my recovery time?
• When can I switch off my phone/email/social media for at least a day/week?
• When was your last vacation? When should you have your next holiday?

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MIND

Safety

As per Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, our security is a basic human need. If threatened, we are already likely to be in a highly stressed state and displaying fight, flight or freeze responses to our situation. Once physically safe we also want to be psychologically safe; in a space where we can think, experiment, and learn without fear. Check:

• Are threats in my physical environment affecting my thoughts and emotions?
• Am I fearful about the response of people to what I think, say, or do?
• Am I able to plan for and think through challenges, or am I just reacting to them?

Learning 

We all need mental stimulation. Without it, our brains stagnate. We must plan our personal development and embrace the challenges that we face and growth opportunities. We need to remain curious, keep trying new things and not be worried about getting things wrong. We need a growth mindset. To monitor this, you can ask:

• What are my development goals and how I am progressing?
• What new thing did I learn today?
• Which mistakes did I make and what can I glean from them?

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SOUL

Reflection 

Self-actualisation sits at the highest point on Maslow’s hierarchy. This is where we are reaching our full potential. To get to this place we need to understand our purpose, we need to understand why we are doing what we are doing. This requires time for reflection and remembering to keep asking the big questions of life, such as:

• What does long-term success look like for me? Am I working towards that today?
• What is my purpose; why am I doing what I am doing? What are my values?
• How am I developing and reaching my potential?

Mindfulness

Whether we call ourselves spiritual or agnostic, religious or atheist, there is plenty of evidence to show the importance of mindfulness and being thankful. Whether we are offering up prayers to a higher power or just taking time to appreciate the moment, there is room for remembering the now, as well as thinking about the future. Think:

• What am I thankful for today?
• How can I find more peacefulness today (for example a walk, meditation, or place of quiet)?
• How am I feeling right now? Take some deep breaths and scan your mind for anxiety and your body for tension.

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Keep watching the dials to manage your physical and mental health

I can testify to how painful it is to burn out. The good news is that it is largely avoidable, but we need to be proactive if we want to avoid crashing. It requires self-awareness, time for reflection and honest self-inquiry to monitor how we are doing and maintain a sustainable pace.

But it does not have to take long once you have identified the gauges you need to monitor. Take some time now. Think about your dashboard. What are the dials you need to watch? Which ones are in the red just now? What do you need to change? Adjust your speed and course now; don’t run the risk of crashing out!