What are values and principles and how do they determine why we do things?

The ‘why’ represents our values.  Our values are part of our identity; they are the things we love, the ideals we prioritise.  They are central things that define why we have a certain vision, why we do the things we do, why we attract or are attracted to certain people. I often think values as being summed up by 3 Ps; our:

  • Principles
  • Passions and
  • Priorities

Values shape our beliefs, our worldview and the paradigm that we operate from. These are often things we hold in common with others at one level, but the particular combination and application of the values make them unique to us as an individual or specific organisation.

“I’d asked around 10 or 15 people for suggestions. Finally one lady friend asked the right question, ‘Well, what do you love most?’ That’s how I started painting for money.” 

Andy Warhol

Should we ask the question ‘why?’

People often avoid asking ‘why’ questions because they can elicit an emotional response. They can make people defensive, or make the questioner appear judgemental. But if we fail to ask ‘why’ questions of ourselves we can really miss a trick.  If, or rather when, things get tough people do start to ask ‘why’ questions. We need to make sure we have some answers before then, particularly if you are a leader.  Let’s face it; things will inevitably get difficult at some point on our journey.  In challenging times we need to understand the deep things that motivate us towards a vision or mission.  It is much better to get those ideals clear ahead of time rather than having to discover them in a time of crisis.

When it comes to why questions we can learn from young children, as they are very good at asking the question ‘why?’  They will often keep asking why until they get a satisfactory answer; children are hard to fool! You can tell when children are following this line of questioning as there are usually accompanied by a red-faced adult who is becoming increasingly irate! The parent’s frustration grows as they start to run out of responses and realise that perhaps they do not actually know the answer themselves.  As adults, it seems we are much better at fooling ourselves and settling for a more superficial answer to a why question.

Simon Sinek identified the importance of asking why in his book Start with why. He argues that people who know their ‘why’ are the ones who lead and inspire others. Therefore we need to ask why, but we can also choose to construct our why questions in such a way that is less confrontational. For example, asking someone ‘what motivates you?’ is often better than ‘why are you doing that?’

“People don’t buy what you do; they buy why you do it. And what you do simply proves what you believe”

Simon Sinek

The 5 Whys

Asking why several times over and applying the why to each subsequent answer can help us dig down to the motivational root of an issue.

I was out running one day and spotted someone fishing by a riverbank. Apart from eating the fish, I had never really understood the allure of fishing, so I asked them why they enjoyed it.  Their first answer was because they enjoyed being outdoors.  Instead of asking directly ‘why’ again, I said: “that’s interesting, I love being outdoors too, what particularly do you like about it?” They answered that it was the only time they really slowed down and felt at peace.  When I questioned further they said that the most important thing was getting the time to reflect.  I then left them to enjoy their peace and reflection but by asking ‘why’ several times over I had gained a deeper understanding into the motivations of that person and learned that fishing was not just about catching fish!

The art of asking why in this way was used by great effect by Sakichi Toyoda who developed the ‘5 whys’ approach to problem-solving within the Toyota Motor Corporation and helped to revolutionise their manufacturing and make Toyota production far more efficient. Every system and action was analysed by asking why over and over until the primary reason was revealed and the process could be refined.

Reflection question:

  • Which work processes could you do this for? Choose a process that you follow and ask why you do it. Keep asking why until you get the real reason for the existence of the process. Once you know the answer, consider, how could this be done better?

Revealing our values

So we need to look at why we do things and ask ‘why’ of ourselves many times over.  Then, as we delve into our answers we begin to see our principles and values revealed.

As we go through this process we will soon see that there are actually many things that we value or that we would agree are good principles.  The key here is working out what are the things that you value the most.  For example, you could say that you value making new friends as well as maintaining long-standing relationships. But, if in looking at both these activities you see that you spend a lot more time on one than the other, then arguably that is the one you value the most.  Equally, you could say that you value two worthy charities. But again, the one you give the most money to would probably give a good indication of where your priorities lie.

These are simple examples but the principle applies even to more abstract concepts.  Loyalty and integrity are both excellent things to value. It might require some careful thought working out which one you prioritise most, but it can be done. There are further exercises in the posts and links below to help you.

Identifying core values

You will probably start with quite a long list but it is a worthwhile exercise to drill down to a list of 4-6 core values for yourself or your organisation. Any more than that and it becomes harder to see how your values differentiate you from other people.  If you are an organisation trying to discover, agree and instil values into your workforce it is also hard for people to remember many more than this!

Then, of this shortlist, identify your top two. Brené Brown (author of Dare to Lead) has done a lot of research that backs up the importance of knowing your top values and priorities.

Refining the expression of your core values

As you hone down to your core values it can also be useful to use adjectives to really help capture the particular nature of a value.  So, for example, you might value of community, but what sort of community?  Is it close community, global community, fun community, caring community, inclusive community, or diverse community you are thinking about?  Adding the right adjective moves you closer to your unique perspective and combination of values.

There are further exercises and advice on how to identify and refine your values in the post What are your personal values?

The importance of values

The process of exploring your values is one worth spending time on. Values are at least as essential as the discovery of our vision and mission. Don’t worry about getting them perfectly captured, especially on a first try. Even our values evolve over time so think of this as a cyclical process, as with other decision making approaches. Do some thinking, record or communicate your thoughts, and then return to reflect on them again regularly in the future.

Once we have identified our values we may not always need to refer to them all the time but they are always there steering us, even if it is just at a subconscious level.

When I was in the Alps for the first time I had a particular dream in mind: a dream of standing on the summit of Mont Blanc.  Success was therefore easy to define; my aim was to get to the top of Mont Blanc and back safely.  Most of the time the vision was there to see, as Mont Blanc loomed large above me. The mission was also clear when I looked at the route on the map.  But, as I climbed higher up and the cloud started to roll in, I could no longer see the mountain clearly.  I could see the route on the map but I could not relate it to the ground.  It was at this point that I had to rely on my compass and altimeter to keep me on the right track.

Values are like a compass; they help us keep on track even when the route to achieving our dream is unclear or the mission is challenged.  Values are therefore invaluable.

“He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.

Friedrich Nietzsche

Reflection question:

  • Once you have identified them, what can you do to keep your values in mind?

One thing I do is to have my personal values and vision at the top of my to-do list. My list of tasks is organised by role and having my values at the top helps me to weigh my priorities correctly.

If you want to read more about values then check out why things we value define our personal identity.

If you want the right answers you have to start with the right questions

About The Right Questions

The Right Questions is for people who want greater clarity, purpose and success. There is a wealth of resources to boost your effectiveness in achieving goals, your leadership of yourself and others, and your decision-making.

Wherever you are on your journey, I hope that you find information on this site to help you on the next leg of your quest. Even if that is just the inspiration to take one small step in the right direction, then that is a success. If you can take pleasure in learning and travelling as you go, then so much the better.

Need help navigating your journey to success?

I love to serve people, helping them unlock their potential, empowering them as leaders, and assisting them in achieving their goals. Please get in touch and let me know how I can support you!

Why What we Value Matters

The philosophical author David Foster Wallace said,

There is no such thing as not worshipping. Everybody worships. The only choice we get is what to worship. 

David Foster Wallace

But what did he mean and was he right?

Foster Wallace was talking about how our behaviour; our habits, decisions, and actions, are dependent upon what we believe. In other words, what we do is dependent upon our values. And to work out what we value, we need to ask some why questions.

Why are you doing that?

Why do you do behave the way you do? This sounds like a stupid question, but it is actually quite profound. Why do you do that job? What is the reason that you the leader or the follower in that situation? How come you hang out with those people? Why do you read those books?

The easy answer is usually to do with liking something or other. But that still begs the question, why do we like any one thing more than another? There is always another why. But some people do not like being asked why they act or think in a certain way.

As a parent, I am very aware that why questions can be challenging, if not downright annoying. Children love to ask why, and it can get very frustrating, especially when you just want them to do something.

But it is not the repetition that pricks us most; it is how quickly the thorny question can get to the edge of our understanding. Any parent will tell you that soon enough the answer becomes something like “that’s just the way it is.” With the answer, our ignorance, as well as our lack of patience, is exposed. But the question remains: why are things that way?

Be curious

We should all keep asking those sorts of questions. Therefore, stay curious. We do not need to be childish in our behaviour, but it is good to retain a child-like curiosity. That helps us to keep learning, keeps our sense of wonder and holds back the tide of cynicism that seeks to envelop us in our adult years.

The fact that you are reading this means that you are curious. You are intrigued to find out what I might think, what I have to say on this subject. What I find intriguing is that, even though we are likely not to have met, we are now involved in an exchange of ideas, where our beliefs, biases, and suppositions swirl together in metaphysical discourse, held in the luxurious debating chamber of your amazing mind. The very fact we can have this disembodied conversation is a wondrous thing!

There is wonder everywhere. So, remain curious. Keep asking questions. Provoke discourse.

What are values?

I like questions and, like Simon Sinek, my favourite questions are why questions. I appreciate why questions because they delve into motivation, into reason and belief. In other words, they expose the underlying values that drive purpose.

The values, exposed by why questions, are a thing of fascination to me. I have spent years examining my own values and helping others to identify theirs too.

But what are values exactly? According to the Oxford English Dictionary, values are defined as:

“Principles or standards of behaviour; one’s judgement of what is important in life.”

Lexico

This is a good starting point, but we can understand the term further through exploring this definition and the word’s synonyms:

  • Values are principles. They are ideals, truths, or propositions that we aspire to.
  • Values are standards. They are the formal and informal precepts, regulations, and rules we live by.
  • Values are judgements. They are the benchmark, the plumbline, the compass that informs our decision-making.
  • Values are beliefs. They are the tenets, convictions, and ideas we put our faith in.
  • Values are priorities. They are our motivations, the things that take precedence, that we give importance to and affect how we use our resources.

So that is what values are. Of course, the next question is why are they important?

Worth-ship

Values are important because they drive our behaviour. It starts with principles shaping our thinking. Standards inform our judgements and impact our decisions. We then plan according to our beliefs and act in line with our priorities.

Those are values. And values are about value; the worth that we give something. So, what do you value the most? Where do you place your worth?

If we value something very highly, we give it worth above other things or even ultimate worth. We build our lives around it. This prioritising, giving position, reverence or regard was called worschipe in Middle English.  This evolved into the present word worship.  In other words, even if you do not consider yourself spiritual, we all give something religious value.

We cannot help it. Our time and resources in life are finite and therefore we must prioritise. Something ends up on a pedestal. It may not be a spiritual entity we put on the throne of our lives but one way or another we will take a good thing and make it a god thing.

The importance of understanding our motivations

Sometimes we are not fully conscious of what this base belief is. Or we can be tentative about sharing our motivations with others.

Either way, it is vitally important we understand what drives us. That is because there are dangers hidden in what we value. As David Foster Wallace puts it:

“If you worship money and things, if they are where you tap real meaning in life, then you will never have enough, never feel you have enough…

…worship your body and beauty and sexual allure and you will always feel ugly. And when time and age start showing, you will die a million deaths before they finally grieve you…

…worship power, you will end up feeling weak and afraid, and you will need ever more power over others to numb you to your own fear…

…worship your intellect, being seen as smart, you will end up feeling stupid, a fraud, always on the verge of being found out. 

David Foster Wallace

So, it is crucial that we know what we give ultimate worth to and ask ourselves why we value it so highly.

The reason we do things

This sort of self-exploration can be a scary journey as we can be confronted by some uncomfortable truths. Often, what we think is the reason we do something is not the actual reason. As financier J P Morgan observed,

“A man always has two reasons for what he does—a good one, and the real one.”

J P Morgan

The journey of self-discovery is an essential one.  We need to know where we place our worth because what happens when these things are challenged or even taken away? What are we left with?

Crises, such as the global pandemic, shake us and often expose the foundations of what we believe. Resilience has become the new word-du-jour, but real resilience starts in the mind and is dependent upon our values.

If what we value starts to crack under the strain of circumstances, then our lives can start to crumble around us. Therefore, we need to know if our values are vulnerable.  The only way to check is to dig down and unearth our philosophical foundations. Only then can we start any remedial works.

The 5 Whys

There are lots of thinking and coaching tools you can use to conduct this psychological survey but one very good way to start is with some reflection time and the use of a technique called The 5 Whys.

The approach was developed by Sakichi Toyoda to analyse systems within the Toyota Corporation. The result was that he helped to revolutionise their production. Every system and action in the company were analysed by asking why, over and over again, until the primary reason was revealed, and the process could be refined.

We can apply the same approach to delve down to our fundamental motivations. Try in on a decision you have made today. You can take some time out to think, write in your journal or talk this through with someone. Whatever works best for you. Answer the question as to why you made that choice. Then ask why of that answer, and continue five times, or however many you need to get to the prime reason.

For example, I might ask why I am writing this. The answer might be that because I have planned that task into my diary. But why did I plan that activity into my calendar? Well, largely it is because I enjoy writing. But why do I enjoy writing? I enjoy writing because the process helps me share personal insights. Why is that important? Because I am motivated by helping people in their own personal development. Why do I care about other people’s personal development? Because I think people have amazing potential and I love to be part of helping to unlock that.

You can see from this example that asking why of even simple everyday activities can be very insightful.

One of the great things about the 5 Whys technique is that you can use it at almost any time and in pretty much every situation. It can work well as a mindfulness technique. If you feel a certain way, ask the 5 Whys. If a thought pops into your head, ask the 5 Whys. When you make a decision, ask the 5 Whys.

The next step on your journey of self-discovery

As Foster Wallace pointed out, we all worship something. If we do not know what that is, or we pick the wrong thing then we run the risk of it undermining our happiness.

So, we need to do some self-reflection to identify what we prioritise and understand our personal values. Start by asking why. Use The 5 Whys technique to explore your thoughts, choices and actions.

Good luck on your journey of self-discovery. I promise you will be better off for it!

If you want the right answers you have to start with the right questions

About The Right Questions

The Right Questions is for people who want greater clarity, purpose and success. There is a wealth of resources to boost your effectiveness in achieving goals, your leadership of yourself and others, and your decision-making.

Wherever you are on your journey, I hope that you find information on this site to help you on the next leg of your quest. Even if that is just the inspiration to take one small step in the right direction, then that is a success. If you can take pleasure in learning and travelling as you go, then so much the better.

Need help navigating your journey to success?

I love to serve people, helping them unlock their potential, empowering them as leaders, and assisting them in achieving their goals. Please get in touch and let me know how I can support you!