Understand Your Values for Better Decision-Making

What is the most important decision you have ever made? It might have been choosing your romantic partner, selecting your school, or deciding upon your career. How did you make that decision? Whatever process you applied – consciously or otherwise – to your choice, that decision was informed by your personal values. This is what values-based decision-making or principle-based decision-making is all about; understanding how our precepts and beliefs inform our judgements.

Why is values-based decision-making important?

We might think that our biggest decisions would be based upon pure logic and critical reasoning, but we would be wrong. Just think for a moment; if your spouse or partner asked you why you wanted to be with them, how would you reply? Would you immediately say,

“well I considered the factors, and – following an analytical process – decided that you were the most rational choice of partner, presenting the best statistical chance of a successful union (given the limited alternatives)”?

I doubt that would get a kindly reception.

You are more likely to answer that it is because you love them. But then you must think about the follow-up question of why do you love them? When you explore that question you can see that, knowingly, or otherwise, you have made a values-based decision. The reasons for loving someone are bound up with your principles, beliefs, and passions.

When I first started to think about decision-making, during my time as a bomb disposal officer, I did use to think that decision-making was largely a rational process. It took some near-death experiences for me to realise that the neuroscience of decision-making is much more complicated. Slowly I came to appreciate the important psychology of heuristics and bias, as well as understanding the importance of assumptions and how values underpin our decision-making.

Values, principles, and ethics in decision-making

The book that introduced me to the concept of principle-based decision making was The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. Stephen Covey points out:

“We are not in control, principles control. We control our actions, but the consequences that flow from these actions are controlled by Principles.”

Stephen R Covey 

So, the fact is that – whether we know it or not – our personal values drive our decision-making and influence the choices we make. But this is not a new discovery and Covey was not alone in this idea. For example, Gandhi said,

“Your values become your destiny.”

Gandhi

And this school of thought goes back much further. The idea of making right judgements is the field of ethics in philosophy. In Western philosophy, it was Socrates, Plato and Aristotle – the so-called founding fathers of ethics – who started this tradition.

Ethical decision-making is not just about choices in medicine (such as when to end care) or complex moral conundrums faced by society (such as assisted suicide). You cannot separate ethics from personal values and our everyday behaviour. As well as the moral code of the society we live in, we all have our own inner sense of morality that informs our actions. The ability to make these choices, according to our values is inextricably tied to our understanding of freedom. Aristotle summed it up this way:

“Freedom is obedience to self-formulated rules.”

Aristotle

How do values influence our choices?

My favourite analogy for personal values is that they are like a compass. The whole point of a magnetic compass is that it points to the North, no matter which way we are facing. Even when we cannot see properly – for example when stuck in fog or deep in a jungle – the compass gives us reliable data about our direction.

Personal values do the same for us. Whatever our circumstances, our values are an inner compass, informing us of whether the direction we are choosing is in line with principles or not.

“I have learned that as long as I hold fast to my beliefs and values – and follow my own moral compass – then the only expectations I need to live up to are my own.”

Michelle Obama

To complete the analogy, it is worth remembering that a compass can be affected by magnetic interference and occasionally not be trusted. In the same way, even our moral compass can be thrown off by cognitive bias. That is why no one aspect of decision-making can be considered without respect to other facets. We must be aware of all the various neural processes if we really want to make good decisions.

Values in decision-making for organisations 

Ray Dalio is an expert in how values affect decision-making in an organisation. In his book, Principles, he shares the values that he has identified and implemented – both in personal and business life. What makes Ray Dalio’s company Bridgewater, so impressive is the way they have built their values into the very fabric of the business.

For many organisations, their company values are just nice-sounding universal values (such as trust or creativity) that have been decided upon by an executive, but with little thought to how these values should truly affect the culture of an organisation. Many employees can barely remember their company values, let alone explain how they should inform their judgements and behaviours. Not so at Bridgewater.

Building a company from the values up

At Bridgewater, not only did they identify the company values, but they also then built organisational processes to reflect those principles, even writing code to embed these principles into automated decision-making. With each decision made these values are tested, the results examined, and the algorithms refined in a constant process of improvement.

This approach, backed up by the transparent way Bridgewater makes choices, empowers people at every level in the business to make decisions. Decision-making is not the preserve of management or the executive suite. At Bridgewater, this empowerment has fuelled effectiveness, growth and profitability.

As Roy Disney, the co-founder of another values-driven company observes,

“It’s not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.”

Roy Disney

It is worth reflecting upon. What are the principles of your organisation and how do they inform processes? Do the actions and behaviours of employees reflect the core values? Are people empowered to make decisions?

Principle-based leadership

This sort of organisation is led by a leader who understands the importance of values; someone who knows their own principles and lives according to them. We call that integrity; someone who walks the talk, and integrity is one of the most frequently listed essential traits of a leader.

Stephen Covey wrote about this sort of leadership in his other popular book, The Principle-Centred Leader, but this approach to leadership also has a lot in common with servant leadership, transformational leadership and authentic leadership, all of which emphasize leaders of moral principle and purpose.

So how do you start?

So, having seen that understanding personal values is important as they affect our choices, what do we do about it? The first step in making better decisions is to identify the principles that guide you in your judgements. This will help both you and the people you work with. As Ray Dalio points out,

“The most important thing is that you develop your own principles and ideally write them down, especially if you are working with others.”

Ray Dalio

Take a moment to think. Can you write down your top values? Try to think of the top principles that you adhere to. I recommend 5 to 10 as a maximum. If you are a bit stuck then there are various tools, exercises that can help you do this and if you would like some help then read my post on What Are Your Personal Values?

If you want the right answers you have to start with the right questions

About The Right Questions

The Right Questions is for people who want greater clarity, purpose and success. There is a wealth of resources to boost your effectiveness in achieving goals, your leadership of yourself and others, and your decision-making.

Wherever you are on your journey, I hope that you find information on this site to help you on the next leg of your quest. Even if that is just the inspiration to take one small step in the right direction, then that is a success. If you can take pleasure in learning and travelling as you go, then so much the better.

Need help navigating your journey to success?

I love to serve people, helping them unlock their potential, empowering them as leaders, and assisting them in achieving their goals. Please get in touch and let me know how I can support you!

How to Make Good (Ethical) Decisions

When I was about ten years old, I decided to run away from home and ran (unexpectedly) into an ethical issue. I can’t remember exactly why I wanted to run away (as my life wasn’t exactly bad) but I do remember that I strolled out of the house carrying nothing but a penknife. I was obviously confident in my survival skills and overly trusting that warm weather would continue!

With my elementary school logic, I decided that a hole in the ground – in the woods not far from my house – was the obvious place to start my new life. As this den was also known to my friends it was not long before one stumbled across me as I cleared the twigs from my future bed space.

“What are you doing?” My friend asked me. “Making camp.” I replied, “I have run away from home so don’t tell anyone!”

My friend wandered off and I continued working. Then, about twenty minutes later my friend arrived back. Behind him stood my dad. I remember looking into my friend’s eyes, feeling betrayed but also knowing they had done the right thing. I was outraged and relieved all at the same time.

What are ethics and why are they important?

At that stage in life, I had no idea what ethics was, but I did intuitively know that my friend made a courageous moral decision that day. Ethics is simply that; it is making good or right choices. That includes big ethical dilemmas, such should we limit artificial intelligence or genetic engineering, right through to more everyday choices, such as whether you help yourself to extra stationery at the office for personal use at home.

Making good decisions is not easy. We might have an intuitive feel of what is right or wrong but sometimes the answer is not obvious. This is particularly the case when various values come under tension.

Taking my running away as an example, my friend had to balance the value of loyalty against that of care. Loyalty might have persuaded them to keep quiet as I had shared something in confidence, but out of care for me they knew the right thing was to tell my parents.

Therefore, sometimes values on their own are not sufficient. In these moments, where good values are in tension, we can employ a decision-making tool to help make the best ethical choice.

How to make ethical decisions

One such technique has been developed by The Ethics Centre in Australia. The Ethics Centre is a not-for-profit organisation that promotes the use of ethics in everyday life and decision-making. They suggest a decision-making model based on considering values, principles, and purpose.

In this context (and using the wording of The Ethics Centre):

  • Values tell us what’s good – they’re the things we strive for, desire, and seek to protect.
  • Principles tell us what’s right – outlining how we may or may not achieve our values.
  • Purpose is your reason for being – it gives life to your values and principles.

Of course, to employ this methodology you must first know what your values, principles and purpose are, so let’s take some time to consider each in turn.

Values

Values are things we give worth, things we prioritise. The values (or virtues) we aspire to come in different forms, such as:

  • Personal values (the ones we prioritise as an individual)
  • Corporate values (the ones we hold in a community or organization such as a company’s values)
  • Universal values (ones that are held in common more globally such as the UN Charter of Human Rights)

Therefore, the starting point, when making a decision, is working out which values are the most important ones in the circumstance. If you have never properly identified your values, then I would recommend you discover your top 3 personal values.

Principles

Principles help us think about what is right or wrong and, in this way, they complement values. These principles are essentially algorithms for behaviour. For example, when working in the British Army and considering a course of action the principles I was taught to apply can be summed up in the following question:

“Is this action lawful, appropriate, and professional?”

Many of our principles have a basis in religion. For example, one of the principles I (like many) try to live by is the Golden Rule. The Golden Rule is the idea of treating others as we would like to be treated and this precept is reflected in various spiritual traditions. For example, the Hindu Mahabharata states:

“One should never do something to others that one would regard as an injury to one’s own self.”

Mahābhārata 13.114.8

Or in the teachings of the Buddha:

“Hurt not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful.”

Udanavarga 5:18

And similarly, Jesus of Nazareth said:

“Do to others what you want them to do to you.”

Matthew 7:12

So, as with values, there are some common themes, but it is also worth reflecting upon the specific principles you hold to. This can be done systematically if you take time to reflect on how you make decisions. This reflective process will start to reveal the underlying principles you use.

If you would like to explore more on identifying and developing principles, then I recommend reading Ray Dalio’s book Principles where you can see how this process can be done on both a personal and organisational level.

Purpose

Similarly, to values and principles, there can be overlapping ideas of purpose. These might be:

  • Individual purpose – your own sense of personal purpose
  • Professional purpose – the specific purpose we have in a given work role
  • Organisational purpose – the mission statement of a team or business your work for

To understand purpose and make it measurable it is advisable to create a clear and concise mission statement. A good purpose statement is a definition of success, within a given context.

For example, my own mission statement is:

 “To serve people by helping them unlock their leadership, in order to support them on their adventure.”

In this case, my personal purpose statement also encompasses my top three values of serviceleadership, and adventure (but this does not have to be the case). For example, Oprah Winfrey’s purpose statement is:

“To be a teacher. And to be known for inspiring my students to be more than they thought they could be.”

What I find useful about this (and good purpose statements in general) is they can give a measure of success against different time scales. Both the mission statements above can be used to consider achievement in a day, week, year, or lifetime. These statements also help to analyse whether decisions have worked towards the good and successful outcome of the stated purpose.

Factors that impact good decision-making and ethical choices

Even after identifying our values, principles, and purpose, or those specific to a given ethical problem, there are still factors that can impact making a good choice. Most of these factors relate to cognitive bias, the subconscious rules of thumb we use to help us make quick decisions.

To minimise the negative impacts of cognitive bias it is worth considering the following:

  • Education and training. Learn about decision-making and the different types of cognitive bias
  • Diversity of thought. Bring different perspectives to a team or decision
  • Build a culture that allows challenge. Create a culture around you where people are more likely to challenge or call out bad behaviour and decisions (even if that is just a good friend who will be brutally honest with you)

The three things to help you make good ethical decisions

Therefore, if you want to make ethical decisions you need to first know your values, principles, and purpose. Then, while allowing for cognitive bias, you can then balance these three elements against each other to make your choice.

This does not mean you will immediately come up with an answer. If you are new to exploring values, principles, and purpose then that will likely throw up challenges and questions to work through before you even get back to the ethical problem you are facing!

But don’t despair. The search for good outcomes and truth is a journey, not a single destination. It should inspire personal reflection, critical thinking, and the sort of discourse that Socrates would be proud of. And that quality thinking leads to good actions, and as Martin Luther King said:

“The time is always right, to do what is right.”

If you want the right answers you have to start with the right questions

About The Right Questions

The Right Questions is for people who want greater clarity, purpose and success. There is a wealth of resources to boost your effectiveness in achieving goals, your leadership of yourself and others, and your decision-making.

Wherever you are on your journey, I hope that you find information on this site to help you on the next leg of your quest. Even if that is just the inspiration to take one small step in the right direction, then that is a success. If you can take pleasure in learning and travelling as you go, then so much the better.

Need help navigating your journey to success?

I love to serve people, helping them unlock their potential, empowering them as leaders, and assisting them in achieving their goals. Please get in touch and let me know how I can support you!

Why Socrates is the Father of Leadership Development

I have had a fascination with philosophy, and particularly with Socrates, ever since winning the book, A History of Western Philosophy by Bertrand Russell, as a prize at school. As someone passionate about personal development, and as a professional coach, it continues to amaze me how many important themes, such as self-inquiry, question technique and ethical decision-making, can be traced back to the thinking of Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle.

Socrates and the importance of self-improvement

Arguably, Socrates was the father of personal development as well as Western philosophy. He is most associated with the Greek aphorism, “know thyself” and is quoted as saying,

“To know thyself is the beginning of wisdom”

Socrates

This premise is echoed in personal development literature, such as Stephen Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, which starts with mastery of self before moving onto success in the public field or in the leadership of others.

It is somewhat tautological to say that self-improvement should start with self, but it is a point that is often overlooked. All too often, when setting goals, we choose to focus on people around us. This might be in making unhealthy comparisons (a particular problem in the age of social media), blaming our situation on others, or endlessly seeking to fix everything around us, without doing any home maintenance.

To know that we have progressed – in whatever field we want to develop – we need to be able to manage a process of improvement. As the adage goes, “you can only manage what you can measure.” That being the case, when setting a goal, you need to define the start-state as well as the end-state. Self-examination should therefore be the first step of productive personal development. We start by working out where we are now. And the most important aspect of this self-examination is to identify the motivations, beliefs and ideals that inform our behaviours.

Socratic ethics, virtues, and values

Socrates, in his dialogues, sought to seek out and test the foundations on which people based their ideas and actions. He also believed there were right and wrong actions, good and bad decisions. In other words, he sought virtuous behaviour and ethical decision-making.

Socrates believed in an objective good, a standard of right and wrong. This contrasted with the Sophists who treated truth as relative. The Sophists were more concerned with eloquent debates and winning arguments; it was less important whether what they were arguing for was true or not. Today a Sophist might be compared to an unprincipled lawyer who is willing to defend anyone for the right price, or a rotten politician who is willing to say anything to bolster their position. Few of us would claim to know objective truth but fewer still are comfortable with such extremes of relativism. Most people prefer to have principles to live by.

Are there immutable and irrefutable principles? It is an excellent philosophical question and one that is still being asked. Socrates did not claim to know, or presume to dictate, the standard of absolute truth, but he always strove to find it. I think that is a great place to start. We can imitate the likes of Socrates by having the humility to admit we may not know the truth and that we are imperfect people. Add to this a curiosity to seek out the good and a determination to change, and we find ourselves describing what today we call a growth mindset.

We might not have thought of it in these terms before, but this search for truth is – in philosophical terms – about ethics. It is about making the right choices. If these choices are about acting beyond pure self-interest, then we are also talking about virtues. And there is the rub. A lot of what we desire might be purely selfish; it may even be base or wrong. Self-examination can require us to be brutally honest with ourselves about what we value and why.

Integrity and leadership

Leadership also starts with self. If you cannot lead yourself well, how can you expect others to follow you? That is why leadership itself is a development journey akin to broader self-improvement; it is a path of learning much more than it is a role or title. Which ones again leads us back to the need for self-inquiry and the need to ask some questions.

If you compare lists of leadership traits, probably the most common trait you will come across is integrity. In my military career, it was certainly considered the most important of leadership traits as a failure of integrity was the quickest way to lose credibility as a commander.

Integrity is about walking the talk; about acting in accordance with the standards that you set. But this begs the question, what is the right standard? In theory, a bad boss could have integrity of a sort if they acted in accordance with their ideals, even if bad ones. So, integrity must be coupled with the idea of good leadership, not just effective management. And hence we find ourselves back in the realms of ethics, virtues, and values again; as we need to know our principles to act in alignment with them, and the precepts we follow should be good ones.

Socratic questioning

Similarly, to Confucius and Buddha, Socrates’ style of pedagogy was through inquiry. In other words, he taught by asking questions. In this way, I like to think that Socrates is the grandfather of coaching as well as philosophy and self-improvement!

Socrates developed the elenchus or Socratic question technique. The aim of this technique was to clarify someone’s position on a subject and then question the foundational assumptions of the idea to test its logic. The technique has been adapted and used in diverse fields such as debating, legal cross-examination and coaching. If you are curious about the world and like to understand ideas and test beliefs, then it is an important tool – even if just to use in everyday conversation.

“The highest form of Human Excellence is to question oneself and others.” 

Socrates

In this context, we can use the same process to question ourselves. If we do not have someone to help us, such as a coach or counsellor, we can do some self-reflection. Using a journal or taking notes can be helpful in this process. Here is a simplified way to use the Socratic method when using it for self-examination:

Reflect

Reflect upon a statement or a decision that you have made. Some of the most insightful statements and decisions to investigate are the more negative ones. For example, we might choose not to do something, saying “I can’t do that!” Hold that thought or write it down.

Refine

The next step is to refine. Here the context of the word refine is like that of refining precious metal; the aim here is to expose our thinking to the flame, to burn away untruths and remove the impurities from our thinking.

To do this we must examine the assumptions that have informed our words and actions. If we don’t think we can do something, why is that? What is the belief or feeling that underpins this? Some assumptions are reasonable, some are simply false. The purpose of this stage is to sift what is true from what is not.

Re-state

Once we have examined the thinking behind our statement or decision, we can re-state it, bringing in our new knowledge. If there was a false assumption identified, it might be we can turn the statement on its head. We might be saying “I can” instead of “I can’t”.

Repeat

The next step is to further examine the new statement. Are there further assumptions that need to be identified and tested? In this way the process is like the 5 Whys interrogative technique; we keep on asking the questions until we get to the fundamental issue. As we delve ever further into our thinking, we should be able to identify the core beliefs that shape our thinking, the standards that drive our behaviour and the values that inform our decisions.


Know thyself

Socrates commitment to enquiry, truth and ethics got him into trouble. He was nicknamed the gadfly; an annoying biting insect, by self-important and self-proclaimed wise people. They did not like to be exposed by Socrates as his questioning revealed their fallacies and undermined their position. He so challenged the beliefs and norms of his day that he was sentenced to death. His integrity was amply demonstrated in his unwillingness to back down in his search for truth.

Revealing the truth can be uncomfortable and maintaining our integrity often comes at personal cost. Self-inquiry can be a humbling process, but it is a vital one if we truly want to be happy in who we are and successful in what we do.

So, be prepared to be confronted with some brutal facts as you begin your self-examination. And don’t just make it a one-off, instead, develop a habit of challenging your own thinking. For all of us, whether in leadership positions or not, this process of reflection is a vital part of self-improvement.

Be like Socrates and seek to know thyself.

If you want the right answers you have to start with the right questions

About The Right Questions

The Right Questions is for people who want greater clarity, purpose and success. There is a wealth of resources to boost your effectiveness in achieving goals, your leadership of yourself and others, and your decision-making.

Wherever you are on your journey, I hope that you find information on this site to help you on the next leg of your quest. Even if that is just the inspiration to take one small step in the right direction, then that is a success. If you can take pleasure in learning and travelling as you go, then so much the better.

Need help navigating your journey to success?

I love to serve people, helping them unlock their potential, empowering them as leaders, and assisting them in achieving their goals. Please get in touch and let me know how I can support you!

Why is it More Important to be a Good Leader Than Just an Effective Leader?

Earlier in my career, when I was working as a project manager, I ended up working on one of the largest building projects in London for one of the most successful property developers in the business. The guy was rich, was the boss of a large team, owned a powerful organisation and achieved big results. He was certainly an effective property developer. I also knew that his methods for achieving this success were questionable and I hated working for him. So was he a good leader?

What makes an effective leader?

If we want to think about what makes a good or effective leader, we must first define what leadership is. W.C.H. Prentice, in his famous HBR article of 1961 defined leadership as:

“The accomplishment of a goal through the direction of human assistants”

But this definition does not quite capture the ideas of some types of leadership such as self-leadership, 360-degree leadership, or even thought-leadership. Therefore, my favourite definition of leadership is that of John Maxwell who says that leadership is, in its essence, influence. Thus, I would define leaders as people who use their influence (or power) to initiate change.

So, by logical extension, we can now define what effective leadership is. An effective leader does the same but can accomplish bigger goals, with more people. They have a greater level of influence and bring about larger change.

But again, here we see that effective leadership is not necessarily identical to good leadership. For example, Stalin led huge numbers of people and Hitler had a massive influence, but few people would describe them as good leaders.

What makes a good leader?

Thus, now we must define what we mean by good, which is a little more tricky. In fact, it is often easier to describe what bad or toxic leadership looks like (particularly if we are working for the leader in question!) As Barbara Kellerman captured in her work identifying the 7 Types of Bad Leaders, we can (hopefully) spot leaders who are incompetent, rigid, intemperate, callous, corrupt, insular, or plain evil.

Kellerman’s model follows the trait theory of leadership and we could come up with an alternative list of positive qualities to reflect a good leader. Qualities such as integrity, confidence and self-awareness are frequently on such lists but these characteristics – positive or negative – can be boiled down to certain behaviours. These behaviours are, in turn, just the outward manifestation of choices. Therefore, we know whether a leader is good or bad by their decisions.

How do you good (or ethical) decisions?

There is a long history of thinking about how to make good decisions. Much of our understanding in this area reaches back to the fathers of philosophy such as Confucius (551–479 BCE) and Socrates (469-399 BCE). In philosophical terms, this field of study is known as ethics. Ethics is the study of right and wrong and the examination of the moral principles that drive good behaviour. Ethical decisions can therefore be thought of as good decisions.

There are various schools of ethics, such as deontologyconsequentialism and utilitarianism but I want to focus on virtue ethics, which is most concerned with the values or moral character that drives good behaviour.  It is these virtues or tenets that help someone make good decisions.

Virtues are positive values. By contrast, we would label negative values as vices. The idea is that these principles drive good behaviour and build healthy habits. For example, the virtue of temperance (one of the virtues championed by Aristotle) informs the decision to moderate what we eat, which leads to healthier lifestyles.

Values-based decision-making

The great thing about virtues or values-based decision-making is that, in psychological terms, it informs both our system 1 (intuitive) and system 2 (rational) decision-making. In other words, the values we choose to live by help our conscious and unconscious decision-making because the more we actively decide to behave according to a value, the more second nature that becomes. Proactive decision-making using virtues builds useful heuristics and habits.

But this is reliant upon knowing the right values, or virtues, upon which to act. Here things do become more subjective as there have been many lists or interpretations of virtue from Plato to Hume and Aristotle to Nietzsche. More recently, research shows differences in values from the male and female perspectives (Gilligan, 1982).

Whichever list we construct, the principles we live by are a mixture of social values (ones that we share with others due to our birthplace, culture, or workplace) and individual values (the precepts that we prioritise personally). If you have not done so already, it is worth identifying and reflecting upon both these corporate and personal values and how they inform your decisions.

How to become a good leader

Identifying your personal values is just one step on the road to becoming of good character and a good leader. There are other ways we develop good character in addition to knowing our values. Fortunately, psychological research at Oxford University has identified seven key strategies that reinforce this development, as outlined below:

The Oxford Character Project: 7 Strategies for Character Development:

  • Role models
  • Reflection
  • Language
  • Systems
  • Reminders
  • Friendships
  • Practice

By employing these strategies we can accelerate and reinforce the development of good character. For example:

Role models

Role models are exemplars, people whom we look up to because of something we value in that person. It is therefore important to pick the right role models as we will become like whomever we choose to follow.

Reflection

If we are going to improve our character and leadership then we need time for personal reflection. We might achieve this in various ways (for example finding a place with no distractions or going for a walk) but whatever our preferred method it requires an investment of time to do it properly. Self-reflection is a critical stage of experiential learning – we cannot develop effectively without it.

Language

How we talk about things is important. Words are the outward expression of our inner thoughts. Our language indicates what is going on beneath the surface in the iceberg of our character, revealing our beliefs, values and fears. So, we need to be mindful of what we say. Also, when we learn new terms and language, we open ourselves to new opportunities and ideas.

Systems

A lot of our behaviour is driven by systems or processes. Many of these we are barely aware of most of the time as they are sub-conscious heuristics. Reflection can help us identify these systems and also help us put new systems in place. When we want to develop a new habit (especially something that doesn’t come naturally) we need to put new systems in place to help embed behaviour.

Reminders

We all need reminders, and our brains react to reminders (as app developers well know!) Reminders help us stay the course, keeping us consistent on the way to developing new habits and better character.

Friendships

Friendships provide us with support and accountability on the road to good character. A true friend will challenge us as well as give us the encouragement we need.

Practice

Practice allows us to experiment and learn. As we refine our knowledge through this experience, we also build habits that reinforce that learning and good behaviour. In the end, we become what we repeatedly do.

Even good leaders make mistakes

It is worth noting that even good leaders make mistakes. We all have to accept, that on our journey of character development, we will at times fail. We will mess up frequently, but that is just part of learning.

Our mistakes can also empower others in their journey. As Brené Brown points out in her excellent book Dare to Lead, if we dare to be vulnerable and admit our mistakes that makes us more accessible as leaders, gives others a chance to learn from our mishaps, and creates an environment of phycological safety where people feel they can take risks too.

Taking a step towards becoming a good leader

I strongly believe that we are all leaders because we all have a measure of influence. We can develop that leadership to become ever more effective (and powerful) but that is of less importance than making sure we are good leaders.

“Whatever you are, be a good one.”

Abraham Lincoln

To be a good leader we need to make good or ethical decisions. Therefore, we need to know the values that we live by.

If we want to make good decisions, we need to build good character, and that can be done through having good role models, taking time for self-reflection, using language, building systems, creating reminders, fostering friendships and deliberate practice.

We will make mistakes, but these are just part of the learning journey. We will trip, so we just need to ensure that we fall forward, towards our goal.

And why is this important? Because our character and where we end up is the cumulation of the decisions we make. If we want to end up in a good place, we need to make good decisions. As legendary Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu observed:

“Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny.”

Lao Tzu

If you want the right answers you have to start with the right questions

About The Right Questions

The Right Questions is for people who want greater clarity, purpose and success. There is a wealth of resources to boost your effectiveness in achieving goals, your leadership of yourself and others, and your decision-making.

Wherever you are on your journey, I hope that you find information on this site to help you on the next leg of your quest. Even if that is just the inspiration to take one small step in the right direction, then that is a success. If you can take pleasure in learning and travelling as you go, then so much the better.

Need help navigating your journey to success?

I love to serve people, helping them unlock their potential, empowering them as leaders, and assisting them in achieving their goals. Please get in touch and let me know how I can support you!

How to Make Good (Ethical) Decisions

When I was about ten years old, I decided to run away from home and ran (unexpectedly) into an ethical issue. I can’t remember exactly why I wanted to run away (as my life wasn’t exactly bad) but I do remember that I strolled out of the house carrying nothing but a penknife. I was obviously confident in my survival skills and overly trusting that warm weather would continue!

With my elementary school logic, I decided that a hole in the ground – in the woods not far from my house – was the obvious place to start my new life. As this den was also known to my friends it was not long before one stumbled across me as I cleared the twigs from my future bed space.

“What are you doing?” My friend asked me. “Making camp.” I replied, “I have run away from home so don’t tell anyone!”

My friend wandered off and I continued working. Then, about twenty minutes later my friend arrived back. Behind him stood my dad. I remember looking into my friend’s eyes, feeling betrayed but also knowing they had done the right thing. I was outraged and relieved all at the same time.

What are ethics and why are they important?

At that stage in life, I had no idea what ethics was, but I did intuitively know that my friend made a courageous moral decision that day. Ethics is simply that; it is making good or right choices. That includes big ethical dilemmas, such should we limit artificial intelligence or genetic engineering, right through to more everyday choices, such as whether you help yourself to extra stationery at the office for personal use at home.

Making good decisions is not easy. We might have an intuitive feel of what is right or wrong but sometimes the answer is not obvious. This is particularly the case when various values come under tension.

Taking my running away as an example, my friend had to balance the value of loyalty against that of care. Loyalty might have persuaded them to keep quiet as I had shared something in confidence, but out of care for me they knew the right thing was to tell my parents.

Therefore, sometimes values on their own are not sufficient. In these moments, where good values are in tension, we can employ a decision-making tool to help make the best ethical choice.

How to make ethical decisions

One such technique has been developed by The Ethics Centre in Australia. The Ethics Centre is a not-for-profit organisation that promotes the use of ethics in everyday life and decision-making. They suggest a decision-making model based on considering values, principles, and purpose.

In this context (and using the wording of The Ethics Centre):

  • Values tell us what’s good – they’re the things we strive for, desire, and seek to protect.
  • Principles tell us what’s right – outlining how we may or may not achieve our values.
  • Purpose is your reason for being – it gives life to your values and principles.

Of course, to employ this methodology you must first know what your values, principles and purpose are, so let’s take some time to consider each in turn.

Values

Values are things we give worth, things we prioritise. The values (or virtues) we aspire to come in different forms, such as:

  • Personal values (the ones we prioritise as an individual)
  • Corporate values (the ones we hold in a community or organization such as a company’s values)
  • Universal values (ones that are held in common more globally such as the UN Charter of Human Rights)

Therefore, the starting point, when making a decision, is working out which values are the most important ones in the circumstance. If you have never properly identified your values, then I would recommend you discover your top 3 personal values.

Principles

Principles help us think about what is right or wrong and, in this way, they complement values. These principles are essentially algorithms for behaviour. For example, when working in the British Army and considering a course of action the principles I was taught to apply can be summed up in the following question:

“Is this action lawful, appropriate, and professional?”

Many of our principles have a basis in religion. For example, one of the principles I (like many) try to live by is the Golden Rule. The Golden Rule is the idea of treating others as we would like to be treated and this precept is reflected in various spiritual traditions. For example, the Hindu Mahabharata states:

“One should never do something to others that one would regard as an injury to one’s own self.”

Mahābhārata 13.114.8

Or in the teachings of the Buddha:

“Hurt not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful.”

Udanavarga 5:18

And similarly, Jesus of Nazareth said:

“Do to others what you want them to do to you.”

Matthew 7:12

So, as with values, there are some common themes, but it is also worth reflecting upon the specific principles you hold to. This can be done systematically if you take time to reflect on how you make decisions. This reflective process will start to reveal the underlying principles you use.

If you would like to explore more on identifying and developing principles, then I recommend reading Ray Dalio’s book Principles where you can see how this process can be done on both a personal and organisational level.

Purpose

Similarly, to values and principles, there can be overlapping ideas of purpose. These might be:

  • Individual purpose – your own sense of personal purpose
  • Professional purpose – the specific purpose we have in a given work role
  • Organisational purpose – the mission statement of a team or business your work for

To understand purpose and make it measurable it is advisable to create a clear and concise mission statement. A good purpose statement is a definition of success, within a given context.

For example, my own mission statement is:

 “To serve people by helping them unlock their leadership, in order to support them on their adventure.”

In this case, my personal purpose statement also encompasses my top three values of serviceleadership, and adventure (but this does not have to be the case). For example, Oprah Winfrey’s purpose statement is:

“To be a teacher. And to be known for inspiring my students to be more than they thought they could be.”

What I find useful about this (and good purpose statements in general) is they can give a measure of success against different time scales. Both the mission statements above can be used to consider achievement in a day, week, year, or lifetime. These statements also help to analyse whether decisions have worked towards the good and successful outcome of the stated purpose.

Factors that impact good decision-making and ethical choices

Even after identifying our values, principles, and purpose, or those specific to a given ethical problem, there are still factors that can impact making a good choice. Most of these factors relate to cognitive bias, the subconscious rules of thumb we use to help us make quick decisions.

To minimise the negative impacts of cognitive bias it is worth considering the following:

  • Education and training. Learn about decision-making and the different types of cognitive bias
  • Diversity of thought. Bring different perspectives to a team or decision
  • Build a culture that allows challenge. Create a culture around you where people are more likely to challenge or call out bad behaviour and decisions (even if that is just a good friend who will be brutally honest with you)

The three things to help you make good ethical decisions

Therefore, if you want to make ethical decisions you need to first know your values, principles, and purpose. Then, while allowing for cognitive bias, you can then balance these three elements against each other to make your choice.

This does not mean you will immediately come up with an answer. If you are new to exploring values, principles, and purpose then that will likely throw up challenges and questions to work through before you even get back to the ethical problem you are facing!

But don’t despair. The search for good outcomes and truth is a journey, not a single destination. It should inspire personal reflection, critical thinking, and the sort of discourse that Socrates would be proud of. And that quality thinking leads to good actions, and as Martin Luther King said:

“The time is always right, to do what is right.”

If you want the right answers you have to start with the right questions

About The Right Questions

The Right Questions is for people who want greater clarity, purpose and success. There is a wealth of resources to boost your effectiveness in achieving goals, your leadership of yourself and others, and your decision-making.

Wherever you are on your journey, I hope that you find information on this site to help you on the next leg of your quest. Even if that is just the inspiration to take one small step in the right direction, then that is a success. If you can take pleasure in learning and travelling as you go, then so much the better.

Need help navigating your journey to success?

I love to serve people, helping them unlock their potential, empowering them as leaders, and assisting them in achieving their goals. Please get in touch and let me know how I can support you!